Home and Away

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Brian sat in his office, leaning back in his chair behind his desk.  He had just received the latest magazines with his ads for Bedford Furniture or Future Furniture as they had renamed it.  The ads had started to appear a couple of weeks ago and the feedback was very positive.  He was meeting with Mr. Bedford tomorrow morning to discuss where they would go from here.

 

He had just about caught up on the backlog from when he had been off with pneumonia.  He had hated being sick.  He supposed everybody hated being sick, but he had been totally unprepared for it, never having been really ill before. He smiled.  Then Justin had come to look after him, and that had been great.  Fuck, he loved that kid!  And he had told him that about a million times while he was there.

 

"You are such a fucking wimp, Kinney!" he thought to himself.  Christ, Justin had him so dick-whipped, and just when the kid had informed him that he was going to assert himself and demand more say in their life together.  He would already do anything for the kid, because he knew he couldn't live without him.  And what was worse Justin knew it too.  But on the flipside, Justin would do anything for him.

 

Brian frowned.  Justin had given him fair warning that things were going to be different when he came back to Pittsburgh.  The boy felt he had grown up while he was away.  Maybe Brian should stop referring to him as 'the boy', even in his head.  Brian wasn't exactly sure what this assertive Justin translated to in their future together.

 

He would never tell Justin, but he was prepared to give Justin almost all of the control he wanted.  He trusted Justin's judgment and his love.  He had long since learned that Justin would never deliberately hurt him.  That had been a big revelation to Brian, to trust someone with his life and his heart.  He had never done that before, and he couldn't believe that he could ever do that with anyone else.

 

"Brian, your next meeting is in the conference room in five minutes," Cynthia's voice broke into his thoughts.

 

"I'll be there," Brian responded.  He started to gather up the folders he needed for this meeting.

 

One week and Justin would be home!  He could hardly wait.  He smiled all through the tedious meeting.

 

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

 

Brian walked into Babylon a little after ten.  He had agreed to meet the guys for an hour or two.  He saw Michael and Ben dancing.  Ben looked hot and he was a great dancer.  Michael was happy, and lucky, all things considered.

 

He saw Ted and Emmett by the bar.  He pushed his way through the crowd to join them.

 

"Hey, hey, hey!" Emmett greeted him.

 

"Hi, boys," Brian responded.  He looked at the two of them, still finding it hard to comprehend that they were a couple.  He ordered a beer.

 

"What's up with you?" Ted asked him.

 

"What do you mean?"

"Your clothes, very conservative, not your usual Babylon attire."

Brian was wearing a denim shirt and jeans.  He hadn't even thought about wearing anything slutty as Justin would have called it.

 

"I'm not cruising tonight, Ted.  I just came to spend a couple of hours with you guys."

"Justin's got you on a short leash even from New York," Ted observed.

 

"Dick-whipped!" Brian thought.  "I'm not on a fucking leash, short or otherwise!  I do what I fucking want to do!" he snapped at Ted.

 

"Well, excuuuse me!" Ted said, holding up his hands in surrender.

 

"Sweetie, we want to ask you something," Emmett interceded, directing the conversation away from this topic that obviously set Brian off.

 

"What?" Brian barked, as he tossed back most of his beer.

 

"I've been trying to talk Teddy into taking me to New York for Justin's art show and a sexy weekend away from the Pitts."

 

Brian looked at him.  The thought of Ted and Emmett on a sexy weekend was almost enough to make him upchuck his beer.  He swallowed and said, "What the fuck does that have to do with me?"

"Well, the art show starts on Thursday, right?"

 

"Right."

"When are you going?"

"I'm leaving Friday afternoon, as soon as I can get away from work."

"What flight are you on?"

 

"How the fuck should I know?" Brian retorted.  He knew Emmett was going to suggest that they take the same flight, and that was the last thing he wanted.

 

"Fuck you too!" Emmett said, turning his back to Brian.

 

"Emmett," Brian said, immediately regretting his harsh words to his friend.  "Emmett?" he said again.

 

"What?"

 

"Could you look at me?" Brian asked.

 

"What for?  So you can be rude to my face."

"I…I'm sorry, Emmett.  I shouldn't have acted like that."

Emmett turned to look at Brian.  He was about to make some smart remark about getting an actual apology from laKinney, but he thought better of it.  Better to just let it go.  "Brian, we just wanted to know if there was a hotel near the university that would be handy to stay in."

"There's one that I've stayed at a few times.  I'll e-mail you the name and phone number, also my flight times and numbers," Brian gave in.

 

"Thanks," said Emmett softening to Brian's attempt to make up to him.  "Is Justin looking forward to the show?"

"He's pretty busy finishing up his final project.  We're not getting together this weekend.  He has too much to do."

"And then he'll be coming home," Emmett added.

 

"Yeah."

"Are you excited?"

"My dick's all aquiver!" Brian replied with suitable sarcasm.  And the truth be told, his dick was quivering in anticipation and in some trepidation.  He still wasn't sure how things would go with the new, grown-up Justin who would be coming home in a few days.

 

Emmett spit out his beer at that comment.  "Well," said Emmett matter-of-factly, "I for one will be thrilled to see Justin's art, and to have a weekend in New York."  Emmett remembered the time Justin had run away to New York.  "We didn't get to see much the last time we went."

 

"Weekend in New York?" Michael asked, coming up behind them.

 

"Teddy and I are going to go to New York for Justin's art show," Emmett said with a smile.

 

"Really?"  Michael didn't look happy.

 

"Hey, why don't you and Ben come too?" Emmett suggested.

 

"Oh, I don't think we could do that," Michael protested.  Then he turned to look at Ben.  "Could we?" he asked.

 

Ben thought for a moment.  "Sure we could.  We've never been away together.  It would be fun to have a weekend in New York."

"That sounds great, Ben" Michael said smiling.  "What do you think, Brian?  All of us in New York together."

"The more the fucking merrier!" Brian said sarcastically, and saluted them with his bottle of beer.

 

"You don't want us to come?" Michael asked, looking at Brian with upset puppy-dog eyes.

 

Brian noted his expression and again regretted his harsh words.  "Um…Justin would be thrilled if all of you came to his art show," he said.

 

"And you?" Michael persisted.

 

"Sure."  Brian used his patented answer.  "Jennifer and Molly are flying in, so why not you guys as well?"

"If you're sure?" Michael said.

 

"I'm sure!"  Brian set his jaw, refusing to go off on his best friend.

 

Ted had been very quiet during all of this.  He looked at Brian warily.  "Maybe another weekend would be better," he said to Emmett.

 

"But then we'd miss Justin's art show.  No, it's this weekend."

Ted looked at Brian and shrugged.  "He's even more dick-whipped than I am," Brian thought, and the thought did not make him feel any better.

 

Michael grabbed Brian's arm.  "You know who else would love to be there?" he asked Brian.

 

"I'm sure you're going to tell me!"

 

"Mom and Uncle Vic."

"Of course!"  Brian could already visualize the three-ring circus pitching its tent in New York City.

"But they'll never be able to afford to fly," Michael said sadly.

 

"I could help them out," Ben offered.  "We could make the tickets a Mother's Day present.  It's that weekend."

Michael kissed him.  "I have to go," Brian said heading towards the exit, and fighting back a feeling of panic that this was getting way out of hand.

 

"Brian!  Brian!" he heard Michael calling after him, but he kept going.

 

Michael caught him just before the exit.  He grabbed Brian's arm and turned him around.  "Are you mad?" he asked.

 

"No."

"Well, it sure seems like you are."

"I said I'm not," Brian said evenly, clenching his teeth.

"Are you going to ask Melanie and Lindsay to go?"

 

"Why don't you run me through with a dull pen knife and put me out of my misery?" Brian asked with as much sarcasm as he could muster.  His head was starting to ache.  "Why the fuck would I want to ask Lindsay and Melanie to go?"

 

"Lindsay has always encouraged Justin with his art.  If everybody else is going, they're going to be royally pissed, if nobody invites them too."

 

"Shit!"  Brian knew Michael was right.

 

"And Gus," Michael added.

 

Brian felt like his head was going to explode.  This weekend in New York crap was developing into a full blown skit from Mad TV, either that or the worst fucking nightmare of his life.  He could just imagine being trapped on a plane with all of them.  He would go right round the proverbial bend.  They'd have to strap him in his seat and sit on him to prevent him from committing mass murder.

 

He turned on his heel and stormed out of Babylon, whereupon he ran smack into a great looking guy heading into the club.  He stopped dead in his tracks and looked into amused blue eyes that smiled back at him.  He felt his cock jump in response.

 

"Are you leaving?" the man asked.

 

Brian nodded.

 

"Too bad!" the man said, flashing him a dazzling smile.

 

Brian assessed this stunning looking man.  He was almost as tall as Brian, slightly heavier, but someone who obviously prided himself on working out and keeping in tip top condition.  Brian thought he must be around the same age as him, strawberry blond hair and deep blue eyes that twinkled with humor.  Brian liked him immediately, as well as wanting to fuck him.

 

"Are you sure I can't convince you to come back inside and dance with me?" this man asked, blue eyes twinkling with humor and a hint of lust.

 

Brian hesitated for a moment, and then thought of Justin.  "I have to go," Brian said with more regret than he was willing to admit even to himself.  In the pre-Justin era he would have had this man in the backroom by now or in the Jeep headed for the loft.  Brian shook his head and brushed past the man.  He felt that little electric charge that happened sometimes, like it did with Justin and recently Noel.  Shit, that was a fucking wonderful memory!

 

He steeled his resolve and headed for the Jeep.  After a second or two he felt compelled to turn and look back at this man.  He still stood there at the door to Babylon, staring back at Brian, and grinning.

 

"Fuck!" Brian said to himself as he turned away.  He was going to need a ton of phone sex with Justin before he'd sleep tonight.

 

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

 

Brian awoke Friday morning with a stiff dick and a guilty conscience.  He realized his dreams had all been about that man in front of Babylon.  He had jerked off with Justin on the phone, and that had helped him fall asleep, but his dreams were about a tall, strawberry blond with laughing blue eyes.

 

He had to gain control of his thoughts, push this image out of his head.  He masturbated in the shower.  When he came, he knew each tug on his dick had been about the man at Babylon.

 

"Shit!" he said out loud.  "I need to get a grip on something else besides my cock.  I'll never see that guy again.  I need to get him out of my head," he thought.

 

He got ready for work, remembering to grab the folder with his latest ideas for Future Furniture.  He would need them for his meeting with Bedford this morning.  He drove to the office trying to force his brain to concentrate on the upcoming meeting, not on the tantalizing man from last night.

 

"Morning, Boss," Cynthia greeted him.

 

"Yeah."

"You're in a fine mood this morning."

"Yeah."

 

"The meeting with Mr. Bedford is in half an hour," she said, giving up trying to make civilized conversation with him when he was in this mood.

 

"I know.  Tell me when he gets here."

"Sure."  Cynthia was watching him closely.  "Is something wrong?" she had to ask.

 

"No," Brian replied.  "No, nothing's wrong."  He wished that were true.

 

Brian went into his office.  He needed to pull himself together and focus on business.  He sat down and opened the file on Future Furniture.  He wanted to review his new proposals for Mr. Bedford.  He liked this man and his company.  He particularly wanted them to do well.  They made quality furniture, quite innovative, at a reasonable price.  Mr. Bedford was a stand-up guy, and there weren't too many people that Brian could say that about.

 

After a few minutes he realized his mind had been wandering, back to last night at Babylon.  He was replaying that encounter with the man outside the club.  Maybe he should have gone back in and fucked the guy.  That would have got it out of his system, just like it did with Noel.  Fuck!  He needed to stop making that comparison!  This guy was nothing like Noel, and he had an uneasy feeling that if he ever did fuck this guy, he wouldn't be easy to forget.

 

"Mr. Bedford is in the conference room."  Cynthia's voice snapped him out of his pointless thoughts.

 

"Be right there."

Brian gathered up his papers and walked across the hall to the conference room.  He reached for the door knob, took a deep breath to collect himself and walked into the room.

 

The man seated at the conference table swiveled his chair around to face Brian.

 

"You!" Brian gasped.

 

"I could say the same thing," the strawberry blond with the laughing blue eyes replied.

 

"What are you doing here?"

 

"I'm here to meet with Brian Kinney who I assume is you," the man said, rising.  "I'm Trip Bedford," he continued, extending his hand for Brian to shake.  Brian shook the proffered hand and felt that same little electric jolt that he had felt last night when their shoulders had touched for a millisecond.

 

"But…you're not Mr. Bedford," Brian stumbled to explain.

 

"I am Mr. Bedford, but you've been dealing with my father up to now."

"Oh," Brian said, beginning to get a handle on what was happening.

 

"My father had a mild heart attack two weeks ago.  I'm taking over some of his duties until he's feeling better."

 

"I'm sorry to hear about your father.  I hope he'll be all right.  I've enjoyed working with him," Brian said, meaning every word.

 

"He enjoyed working with you too.  He had nothing but praise for you and the campaign you developed," replied the young Mr. Bedford.  "I hope you'll be able to work just as easily with me."

 

"I'm sure we can continue to build the promotion of your products, Mr. Bedford," Brian said in his most professional voice.

 

"Call me Trip, please."

"Trip?  That's an unusual name."

"It's a nickname really.  Jerome Bedford the third or triple, thus Trip," he explained.  "Better than being called Jerry."

 

Brian chuckled.  "I can see that."

"Some of my friends think it's the right name for me.  They say I'm quite 'a trip'," Trip said, eyes twinkling with humor.

 

"I can just imagine," Brian said.

 

"So you're gay?" Trip verified.

 

"Yes, and so are you."

 

"Mm hmm.  That's why I was at Babylon."

"Didn't take you long to find the local hot spots."

"I bet you know how to find them in any city you visit."

 

Brian nodded.  That was the truth.  At least it used to be.

 

"Why didn't you want to stay and dance with me last night?" Trip asked.

 

"I…I'm in a …relationship.  I was there with a few friends," Brian tried to explain.

 

"An exclusive relationship?" Trip asked.

 

"Yes," Brian admitted slowly.  Brian knew he could still trick, even had Justin's permission to do so, but this would be no ordinary trick.

"That's too bad."

 

"Is it?"

"I thought we had a …connection the minute I saw you."

"I…know what you mean," Brian admitted.

 

They looked at each other, assessing the possibilities.

 

"We should get to work," Brian said, hoping this would be safer ground.  "I have some new ideas about carrying forward our campaign."

"Sounds good.  Let's see them."

 

Thankfully Trip was willing to drop the previous line of discussion.  They sat down at the conference table and spent the next hour going over Brian's proposals.  Trip had a quick mind and immediately saw the direction Brian was going with the ad campaign.  He fully approved and even made a couple of suggestions that were quite good.  Brian thought they would add to the overall campaign.

 

Brian realized he was as impressed with Trip's mind as he had been with his body last night.  This man had everything – looks, humor, intelligence and an easy comfortable way about him.  Brian had rarely taken to anyone so quickly.

 

When they finished up, it was almost noon.  "How be I take you to lunch?" Trip asked.

 

"Usually we take the clients to lunch," Brian laughed.

 

"I was afraid you might not ask me, so I thought I better take the bull by the horns, if you get my drift," Trip said, chuckling.

 

Brian was getting the drift all right.  He could tell that Trip was as interested in him as he was in Trip.  In fact he felt like he was being swept along by an irresistible current that was pushing him and this intriguing man together.

 

Trip had been watching Brian's face and noted the uncertainty there.  "It's just lunch," he said with a grin.  "What do you say?"

"Sure," Brian replied, only this time 'sure' meant 'yes'.  He knew he wanted to be with this man.  He wanted to get to know him, to share lunch and maybe more.

 

Brian and Trip talked all during lunch.  They found they had similar views on a lot of topics, only Trip wasn't quite as cynical as Brian.  They laughed about some of their adventures in the gay world, and commiserated about others.  Brian couldn't ever remember opening up with someone the way he was doing with Trip.  It had taken Justin two years to get him to talk, and even then he didn't do it voluntarily most of the time.

 

This man was a puzzle to Brian.  No other person that Brian could think of had made him feel so comfortable.  Not even Michael who thought of Brian as flawless could make him feel so accepted.  Trip seemed to take Brian at face value, making no demands, having no expectations.  Michael expected him to be perfect.  Justin expected everything from him.  This man seemed to expect nothing.  Brian didn't have to live up to any expectation; he could just be, and that was such a relief.

 

When lunch was over, Trip asked Brian if he had plans for the weekend.  Brian considered his answer carefully, knowing where this might lead.  During lunch Trip had not asked about his relationship, and Brian had studiously made sure that he didn't bring Justin up.

 

"I'm going to be working most of the weekend," Brian said carefully.

 

"And your partner doesn't mind?"

There was the question he had been avoiding.  Brian considered lying and letting on that Justin was here, but somehow Trip inspired the truth.  "Justin, my … partner, is in New York.  He's been there for almost five months on an art course."

"So you'll be alone?"

"Yes," Brian said simply.

 

"Come to Babylon and let's have that dance."

 

"I don't know," Brian said, afraid of where this might lead, but grateful that was all that Trip was suggesting.

 

"It's just a dance, Brian."

Brian made a face.

 

"I'll be there if you decide to come join me."

Trip paid for lunch and took off.  He didn't seem angry at Brian's reticence, but he also seemed very much to want Brian to meet him at Babylon later that night.

 

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

 

Brian gathered up his dishes, having finished most of his takeout.  While he stacked the dishwasher, he debated going to Babylon.  There was no question that he was sexually attracted to Trip Bedford, but he also liked the man.  He was sure he would enjoy an evening with Trip.  It was the possible outcome of spending the evening together that had Brian worried.

 

It was nine o'clock.  He didn't have to make a decision yet.  He sat down at the computer and e-mailed Emmett the information about flights and hotels in New York.

 

He wasn't looking forward to everyone tagging along, but he understood that they all wanted to be there to support Justin.  He decided he wasn't going to get out of it, so he better make the best of it.  Justin would kill him if he told them all not to come.

 

He remembered what Michael had said about Lindsay.  He sighed, picked up the phone and hit her number.  When she answered, he was momentarily at a loss of what to say to her.

 

"You know Justin's art show is next weekend?" he finally asked.

 

"Yes, I do.  Why?"

 

"Emmett and Ted want to go."

"Justin will be pleased," she said.

 

"Then Michael and Ben decided to go."

"Oh!" she said.

 

"Ben's going to help Michael pay for plane tickets so Deb and Vic can go too.  They're calling it a Mother's Day present."

 

"I see," Lindsay said.  Brian could hear the tightness in her voice.  "Why are you telling me this?"

"I wondered if you and Melanie … and Gus would like to go too."

 

"Of course I would, Brian!  But we can't afford it right now, so why are you throwing this in my face?"

 

"Next weekend's Mother's Day."

"I know that too, asshole!"  She was really getting angry now.  Why was Brian making her listen to the list of people going, when she had told him she couldn't go?

 

"So, Mom," Brian said, "would you like to go to New York as my Mother's Day present to you?"

"Oh, Brian, I'd love to go, but I couldn't go without Melanie," she said regretfully.

"I wouldn't ask you to.  I'll spring for all three of you, if you want to go."

"Oh, oh, Brian!" she shrieked.  "That's so nice!  Of course, I want to go."

"And Melanie?"

"I'll … I'll talk to her.  She won't like taking help from you, but I'm sure I can talk her into it."

"Well, if it's going to be that much of a fucking hardship, just forget about it."  Brian wasn't going to beg Melanie to go.  Fuck that!

"Brian, I want to go.  Don't take back your offer, please."

"All right," Brian gave in.  "Let me know tomorrow."

"Thanks, Brian," she said and he hung up.

That was his good deed for the day, hell for the month, or the year.  And if that ungrateful bitch, Melanie, didn't want to go, then fuck her!  He didn't care whether they went or not.  He knew Justin would want them there and he would be pleased by Brian's gesture.

 

Having done his good deed, he decided he had earned a dance with Trip at Babylon.  He went up to the bathroom to shower and get ready.  He kept telling himself he had earned this dance, and that's all it would be, a dance.  At least he thought that's all it would be.

 

Brian walked into Babylon a little before eleven. He had spent a long time trying to decide what to wear.  He wanted to look good, but not too available.  He ended up wearing his black leather pants and a silk shirt over a black wifebeater.  Heads turned as he pushed through the crowd.  He looked very desirable.

 

He spotted Ted and Emmett leaning against the bar.

 

"Two nights in a row?  To what do we owe the honor?" Ted asked.

 

"Aren't you happy to see me?"

 

"Always," Ted replied sarcastically.

 

"I e-mailed you the info about New York," Brian said to Emmett.

 

"Thanks, sweetie!" Emmett said.  "It's going to be a fun weekend."

"Fan-fucking-tastic!"

"Hi, Brian," a voice said.

 

Brian turned to see Trip standing just behind him.  The man looked incredible.  He had on skintight black jeans and a golden T-shirt.  He looked casual, but infinitely sexy.

 

"Who's this tasty morsel?" Emmett asked Brian.

 

"This is Trip Bedford," Brian said.  "Ted, Emmett."  Brian pointed to each of them by way of introduction.

"And where did you come from?" Emmett pursued.  "I haven't seen you around here before."

"He's a business associate," Brian said.

 

"I'm from Indianapolis," Trip offered.

 

"Oh, a Midwestern hunk!" Emmett joked.

 

"Thank you for the hunk reference."  Trip grinned back at Emmett.  "Can we have that dance now?" he said to Brian.

 

Brian nodded and the two men went out onto the dance floor.

 

They were somewhat tentative as they started dancing, each watching what the other was doing.  Before the first song ended they had found a mutual rhythm and style.  Hands on shoulders and groins colliding every now and then, they put on quite a show for everyone around them.  Ted and Emmett watched, mouths hanging open.

 

After several dances Brian and Trip came back to the bar.  Brian ordered two beers and handed one to Trip.

 

"You're a good dancer," Brian told him.

 

"Thanks.  We're pretty good together."

"You certainly are!" Emmett said.  "Are you in town for long?" he asked Trip.

 

"I go back to Indianapolis tomorrow."

Brian was listening to all this.  "I should be going," he said suddenly.

 

"Another dance?" Trip asked him.

 

"I don't think so," Brian said, trying to behave himself.

 

"Then I guess I'll head on out too," Trip said.  "I'll walk out with you, Brian."

 

Emmett and Ted nodded knowingly as the two walked away.

 

"Hot!" mouthed Ted.

 

Emmett nodded.

 

At the door to Babylon Brian shook Trip's hand.  He felt that little jolt.  "It was nice working with you," Brian said.

 

"Same here."

"Will it be you or your father at the meeting next month?"

 

"Probably Dad, if he's up to it," Trip said.  "I could come if there's some reason you wanted me."

Brian understood the meaning of that statement.  He knew Trip was offering, and he also knew that Trip wouldn't force the issue.  Brian wanted this man, but more he didn't want to hurt Justin.  He needed to be strong.  He shook his head, no longer able to look into those blue eyes. 

 

"Goodbye, Trip," Brian said turning away.

 

"Bye," Trip replied and they walked away from each other.

 

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

 

Brian worked hard the following week.  He did his best to push thoughts of Trip out of his head.  He told himself that he would probably never see the man again.  His future was Justin and Justin was coming home.  That was what he needed to concentrate on. 

 

But sometimes out of the blue he would find himself thinking of the strawberry blond, and too many of his dreams centered around a pair of laughing blue eyes, always looking at him with unspoken desire.

 

The weekend couldn't come fast enough.  He would go to New York with the ever growing entourage, which now included Gus, Mel and Lindsay, and he would bring his boy home at the end of it.  Then everything would be all right.  At least he hoped it would be.

 

Friday afternoon they all met at the airport.  Brian was running a little late and came straight from work.

 

"Dada, Dada!" he heard Gus shout when he saw him.

 

He grabbed the little boy and flipped him up in the air.  Gus giggled his approval.  Brian gave him a big hug and his little arms wrapped around Brian's neck.  "Go on plane, Dada!  See Justin!"

 

"That's right, Sonny Boy.  Do you remember our other trip?"

Gus nodded.  "Me sit with you?" Gus asked.

"No, Gus, you're sitting with your mommies."

"No!  With you!" Gus insisted, eyes filling with tears.

 

Brian sighed.  He went to the desk to see if there was a vacant seat in first class where he was sitting.  There was and he could upgrade Gus' ticket.  Now all he had to do was tell Lindsay and Melanie that their son was sitting in first class, and they were still stuck in coach.

 

"Asshole!" was Melanie's reaction.

 

"He wants to sit with his Dada," Brian said in his own defense.

 

"Maybe we'd all like to sit with Dada in first class!" Melanie bitched.

 

"So take him!" Lindsay said.  "We'll enjoy ourselves anyway."  She linked her arm through Mel's and they walked away.

 

Brian snorted.  They were ready to board.  Brian waved at the rest of the group as he and Gus boarded with the rest of the first class passengers.  They found their seats, and Brian got Gus an apple juice and a bourbon for himself.  He felt much more confident traveling with Gus this time, having managed it all by himself before.  If Gus got fussy this time, his mommies were only a few rows back.

 

"He's a cutie," the steward said to Brian.  "Looks just like you."

 

"So I've been told," Brian replied.  The steward was definitely cruising him.  Male or female, the flight attendants all seemed to use Gus to get Brian's attention.

 

"What's your name, little man?" he asked.

 

"Gus," the little boy replied between sips of apple juice. 

 

"Is this your first flight?" the steward asked, all the time running his eyes over Brian.

 

"No," Gus said.

 

"He's flown before," Brian said.  "You're a good flier, aren't you, Sonny Boy?"  Brian turned to Gus and buckled him in.

 

Gus nodded.  The steward had lost Brian's attention for the moment, so he moved on down the aisle to deal with the other passengers.

 

"See Justin soon?" Gus asked

 

"We have to fly for a bit first.  Remember?"

 

"Fly!" Gus said, grinning.

 

"Then we have to go to the hotel and have dinner.  We'll see Justin at his art show.  He's going to be so surprised to see you.  Can you wait that long?"

Gus nodded.  Brian took his empty glass and handed it to the steward who passed by.  Gus clapped his hands.  "See Justin," he said with a big smile on his face.  "Surprise!" he said carefully, trying to get the word out correctly.

 

Brian watched him.  He was such a happy little boy, and most of the time he was a good boy except when that nasty stubborn streak reared its ornery head.  Brian loved him so much; more than he ever thought was possible.  He was glad Gus' childhood was so different from his own.

 

"Ready to go?" Brian asked

 

"Yes," Gus said, nodding his head.

 

The flight was over before they knew it.  Gus babbled on about Thomas the Train and flying to new places.  He regaled Brian with stories about how Thomas went fishing and got stuck in the snow.  He wanted to know if Brian would take him fishing.  Brian didn't know how to answer that, since he had never been fishing in his life.  Maybe Justin would know how to do that, and the three of them could make it an adventure.

 

Brian didn't see any of the others until they got off the plane.  They all assembled in the waiting area as they came off the jet way.  For some reason they expected Brian to organize everything.  He led them to the baggage claim and then to the taxis.  They divided into three groups, and Brian made sure the drivers knew the name of their hotel.  He was beginning to feel like the ringmaster of this fucking circus.  He wondered how he got himself into these things.

 

It took the better part of an hour to get them all settled at the hotel.  Brian's patience was really wearing thin, when they all finally agreed to go to their rooms and get ready for dinner.  They would eat in the hotel and then go to Justin's show from there.  Brian knew he had to get out of there.

 

He hit Justin's cell phone number.

 

"Hey!" Justin responded.  "You're here."

"I'm at the hotel.  Have you had dinner yet?"

"No.  Want to meet me?"

 

"Yes."

"I have to be back at the show by 7:30, but there's a nice little restaurant just off campus.  It's called Oregano.  Can you meet me there in fifteen minutes?"

 

"You got it," Brian said, glad to escape the others and get some time alone with Justin.

 

"See ya," Justin said

 

"Later."

Brian walked into the restaurant fifteen minutes later and saw Justin sitting at a table near the back.  The boy stood and beamed at him, that sunshine smile that melted his heart.  He wasn't sure how he got there, but the next thing he knew Justin was in his arms and they were kissing and kissing.

 

All of a sudden Brian became aware of clapping.  He opened his eyes and released Justin.  People in the restaurant were applauding their kiss.  They quickly sat down.

 

"That kiss was worth a round of applause," Justin giggled.

 

"It was a good one!" Brian agreed.

 

"I missed you last weekend."

 

"I missed you too.  Did you get your project done?"

 

"Yes," Justin smiled.  "It turned out great!"

 

"Good.  What is it?"

 

"You can see it after dinner.  It'll be a surprise," Justin said.

 

"Maybe not the only surprise," Brian added.

 

"What does that mean?"

 

"You can see later.  It'll be a surprise," Brian smirked.

 

They ordered dinner and ate quickly so Justin could make it back to the gallery in time.  The art show had started the night before, mostly with staff and students of the university showing up.  Tonight there would be many more people, family members of the exhibitors and hopefully a lot more of the general public.

 

Justin explained that all of the pieces were for sale, if anyone was interested in buying them.  He told Brian that sometimes a student got lucky and made enough from the sale of their pieces to cover the tuition to the course.

 

Justin regaled Brian with the process of setting up his space in the gallery.  Each student in the course got an assigned area and could put as many or as few pieces in it as they wanted.  Justin refused to tell Brian any more about what he had included in his display.

 

When they had finished eating they walked back to the gallery on the university grounds.  Justin took Brian's hand as they entered the building.  He led Brian over to one side and stopped.  Straight ahead was a title board that said "Justin Taylor – My Passion".  Brian was knocked for a loop by what confronted him

 

In the center was the framed sketch of him in his black leather pants sauntering down the hallway of Justin's residence.  On one side of it was the red abstract painting that Brian had already seen.  Justin had told him that the painting was called "My Passion" and was a representation of his passion for Brian.  On the other side was a collage of the sketches of Brian, Justin and Gus making the snowman in the park and having their snowball fight.  They were overlaid with paint in a rainbow of colors that somehow linked the sketches together and yet gave each of them significance in the overall design.  Touches of the colors had been added to each sketch so that the whole thing fit together perfectly.  Along the bottom of all of these were small framed abstracts, almost three dimensional the paint was so thick.  One of them Brian had a funny feeling might be his dick.

 

"Justin, what the fuck have you done?" Brian asked.

 

"Don't you like it?" Justin asked, looking crestfallen.

 

"It's quite … something, but …"  Brian didn't know what to say.

 

"I know you don't like being on display, but you are the heart of so much of my work.  It just seemed right."

Brian took in a long breath and stared at the display.  "I'm … flattered.  I guess I just need to get used to it."

"Holy shit!" a loud voice said.

Justin turned.  "Deb!" he shouted.  "Vic!"  He grabbed them and hugged them so hard they could barely breathe.

 

Right behind them came Michael and Ben who shook hands with Justin.  They were followed by Ted and Emmett.  Emmett, of course, hugged Justin and got all weepy at the display.  Melanie, Lindsay and Gus arrived next, with Jennifer and Molly close behind them.  Justin was blown away.  He had expected his mother and Brian, but everyone else going to the trouble and expense of being there for him, overwhelmed Justin.  He was close to tears.

 

"Surprise!" Gus yelled, jumping up and down.

 

Everyone laughed, and that gave Justin time to collect himself.  He picked up Gus who pointed to his artwork and said, "Dada!"

 

"That's right," Justin told him.  He looked over at Brian who stood back out of the way.  Justin's face radiated the love he felt for Brian and the pleasure of having his family around him for this special occasion.  "Can you find Gus in there?" he asked.  He carried Gus over to the collage.

 

Gus pointed to the sketch of the snowball fight.  "Justin, Dada, Gus!" he said, pointing to each one.  "I love you, Justin."

Justin squeezed him to his chest.  "I love you too."

Everyone milled around, congratulating Justin on getting through the course.  They all had choice comments about Justin's theme for his work.

 

"It's incredible!" Emmett said.  "Brian's a great subject."

"Art is truth and that's what I see," Ben observed.

 

"I should have known!" Michael grimaced.

 

"These are great representations of Brian," Vic told Justin.  "I especially like the dick."  He pointed to the little abstract.  "Brian won't be happy that it isn't bigger."

Justin chuckled.  "I never thought of that, but I bet you're right."

"You are absolutely shameless in your love for that man," Debbie said.  "He doesn't deserve you, but good for you anyway, Sunshine."

Ted shook his head.  "As if Kinney's ego isn't big enough already!  There'll be no living with him now."

"You don't have to live with him, Ted.  I do," Justin replied.

"Oh honey," his mother said.  Your work looks great!  I can see all the new things you've tried.  I'm so happy that you came on this course."

 

Justin noted that his mother had carefully praised his work without once mentioning the subject matter.  "Thanks, Mom.  I'm glad I came on this course too."  He decided not to force the issue of Brian's part in all of it.  "I've learned so much … and grown up a lot."

"I can see that," Jennifer said seriously.

 

While all of this was going on, Brian had wandered through the gallery.  He found Dale and Joanne whose work was displayed side by side.  He chatted with them a bit and told them that he had spoken to the head of the art department at Vangard about both of them.  If they were interested in an internship for the summer, they were guaranteed an interview, and Brian had made it clear that he thought they were excellent candidates for the positions.  They thanked him for his help, and each said that they would contact the art department for an interview.

 

Brian moved on when Joanne's family showed up.

 

As he neared the back of the gallery, Brian saw Zach Sherwood standing in his space.  Brian looked at his work from a distance.  It was so different from Justin's.  His theme was "Ambiguity".  There were four large paintings, semi-abstract, depicting great contradictions in life – war/peace, hate/love, strength/weakness and loss/gain.  Brian didn't particularly care for the effect, but he could feel the power of the message and the way Zach had presented it.  He had an uneasy feeling that the darker side of each pairing was winning.  He didn't think that Zach would see goodness besting evil in his outlook on the world.  Until Justin came into his life, he probably had felt the same way.

 

He walked over to Zach.  Justin had told him that he and Zach had not spoken since the Noel incident.  Zach had done his best to steer clear of Justin, and Justin was happy to leave it that way.

 

"Very powerful!" Brian said to Zach, indicating his work.

 

The young man looked surprised that Brian would speak to him.  "Thanks," he said.

 

"Hello, Brian," a voice said from behind him.

 

Brian knew it was Noel.  He steeled himself to face the man and not rip his head off.  "Noel," he said in a level voice, turning around.  "Fancy meeting you here.  Your cousin is very talented."

"I know.  That's why I didn't want to get him into any trouble while he was on this course."

 

"I'm glad you stuck to our bargain," Brian said.

 

Noel merely nodded. 

 

Brian headed back towards Justin.  His surprise visitors had dispersed to go look at the other artwork.  Jennifer and Molly were still talking to Justin.

 

Brian hesitated to interrupt their conversation.

 

"Dada, Dada!" Brian heard, and the little boy came running up to him.  He grabbed Brian's leg and hung on.

 

"What's wrong, Sonny Boy?" Brian asked, picking him up.

 

"Carry me, Dada."

"Why?"

"Too many big people.  I can't see nothing."

Brian chuckled.  "Did you see Dale and Joanne?"

 

Gus shook his head.

 

"Shall we go see them?"  Gus nodded.  "They're over here."

Brian carried Gus over to their area.

"Hey, little Gus!" Dale exclaimed.

 

The little boy smiled at him.  "Hey," he responded.

 

"I didn't know Gus was coming with you," Joanne said.

 

"Justin didn't know about it either," Brian explained.

 

"Surprise!" Gus said throwing up his arms.

 

They laughed.  "You are such a cutie-pie!" Joanne said.

 

"How did you like Justin's display?" Dale asked Brian.

 

Brian snorted.  "I didn't know what to say.  I never expected anything like that."

 

"Dale and Joanne both laughed.

"We tried to talk him out of it," Dale said, "but I think the poor sap really loves you." 

 

Joanne chuckled.

 

"Looks like I'm stuck with him," Brian said with a smile.

 

"Stuck!" said Gus.

 

"That's right, Sonny Boy."  Brian asked the two students, "Are you ready to head back to Phoenix and the Pitts?"

 

They both nodded.  "The course has been great, but it's a long time to be away from home, even if home is the Pitts," Joanne said.

 

"It's been a long time all right," Brian said ruefully.

 

Just then Melanie and Lindsay came along.  Gus yelled, "Mama!  Mommy!"  He squirmed down and ran over to them.  Gus grabbed their hands and pulled them over to Dale and Joanne.

 

Brian made the rather complicated introductions, and left Gus and the two women talking to Dale and Joanne.  He wandered around the gallery for a while longer before he went to find Justin who was now alone in his space.

 

"Hey, stud!" he said, coming up behind him.

 

"You are in big trouble, mister!" Justin said.

 

"Me?  What did I do?"

"You didn't warn me that everybody was coming.  I nearly had a heart attack when they all started arriving."

Brian put his hand on Justin's heart.  "Your heart feels just fine," he said.  "I'm the one who nearly keeled over when I saw this."  Brian gestured to the display.

"You're all right with it, aren't you?" Justin asked, concerned.

Brian remembered how important his approval was to Justin.  "I'm very flattered, but you could have warned me."

"And you could have warned me!" Justin retorted.

 

"Surprise!" Brian said, imitating Gus.  "Let's go to the hotel."

 

"I can't go till nine-thirty."

 

Brian groaned.  "I need you."

 

"Half an hour," Justin promised.

 

Brian put his arm around Justin's waist and nuzzled his neck.  Just as he was doing that, Ted and Emmett reappeared.

 

"Christ, you never stop, do you?" Ted asked.

 

"Why should I?" Brian said, releasing Justin.

 

"And I thought Justin had finally got you under control," Emmett said with a grin.

 

"Not last weekend!" Ted stated.

 

Justin looked at Brian.  "What happened last weekend?" he asked, not at all sure he wanted to hear the answer.

 

"He was dancing up a storm at Babylon with the most amazing looking guy," Ted continued.

 

Emmett gave him an elbow in the ribs to shut him up.  "He was a business associate, didn't you say, Brian?" Emmett tried to smooth things over.

 

"Yeah," Brian replied.

 

Justin was staring at Brian.  "And what business associate would that be?" Justin asked, trying to keep his voice level.

 

Brian sighed.  "Future Furniture."

"I thought Mr. Bedford was old enough to be your father," Justin said.

 

"He is," Brian replied.  He hadn't wanted to get into this with Justin, certainly not here.  "He had a mild heart attack a few weeks ago.  His son, Trip, came to the meeting in his place last Friday."

 

"Trip's quite a hunk!" Ted added, not knowing when enough was enough.  Emmett grabbed his arm and dragged him away before he could do any more damage.

 

"So how come you never mentioned … Trip, when we talked on the phone every night?" Justin asked.

 

"It wasn't important," Brian said, looking at the floor.

 

"Or it was too important," Justin thought.  "Will you and Trip be getting together again soon?" Justin asked Brian.

 

"We weren't together, Justin.  It was a dance at Babylon, that's all."

"Really?"

"Well, we did have lunch."

"And…?"

 

"We didn't fuck.  I swear."

"But you wanted to," Justin said, a little shard of fear cutting into his heart.

 

"Yes…" Brian said honestly.  "No … maybe.  I don't know!  I really like Trip.  He seems like a great guy.  We really enjoyed each other's company.  I like him as a friend."

"And a fuck?"

 

"I thought about it," Brian admitted.  "But we didn't go there, and we won't go there!" Brian said emphatically.

"Okay," Justin replied.  "Let's drop the topic of … Trip!  What kind of name is that anyway?"

"Short for triple.  He's Jerome Bedford III," Brian said with just a bit too much enthusiasm.

Justin sucked in a breath.  Who was this Trip, that Brian remembered everything about his name and talked about him in such an enthusiastic manner?  Justin didn't like this one little bit.  "Is Gus staying with you at the hotel?" he asked, deciding he better change the subject.

 

"No, he's with his mommies."

"So we have the room all to ourselves?"

"Yes, and I can hardly wait to use it."

"Has everybody left?  Mom and Molly went a little while ago."

"I think Ted and Emmett just beat a hasty retreat.  I saw the munchers leave a while ago to put Gus to bed, and I think Deb and Vic went with them.  Ben and Michael may still be here somewhere, although they were going to check out Whiplash.  I hope they've gone because I don't want to go with them.  I want to take you back to the hotel and fuck your brains out."

 

"Like you wanted to do with Trip?" Justin had almost said that aloud, catching himself just in time.  "You really know how to sweet talk a guy," he said instead.

 

Soon the gallery had pretty well emptied out.  Justin said he thought they could leave.  Brian saw Zach and Noel going out the door.  He wondered how many more times their paths would cross.  Not many, he hoped.

 

Everyone was going to go sightseeing in the morning.  Brian had told them to go in pairs, not as one group.  That would mean that they could see and do what they wanted without waiting for everyone else.  Brian hoped he and Justin could spend the morning in bed without anyone bothering them.

 

As they rode to the hotel in the taxi, Justin linked his fingers through Brian's.  "Did you like the show?" he asked.

 

"Yes, but I like you more," Brian said, nuzzling his neck.

 

"Wait till we get to the hotel," Justin giggled.

 

"Can't!" Brian groaned, squeezing Justin's crotch.

 

"Behave," Justin moaned, trying to keep him at bay.  "We better get to the hotel soon."

The taxi pulled up in front of the hotel.  Brian shoved a generous amount of money through the window and hauled Justin out of the vehicle.  They ran across the lobby and hit the elevator button.

 

"Mr. Kinney!  Mr. Kinney!" a male clerk behind the front desk called.

 

Brian looked daggers at him, but he seemed oblivious.

 

"There's a message for you, Mr. Kinney," he called to Brian.

 

"Shit!" Brian said, torn between the elevator and the desk.

 

"You should get it, Brian," Justin told him.  "It might be important."

Brian went over to the desk and the man handed him an envelope.  He ripped it open.  "Shit!" he said again.

 

"What?" Justin asked.

 

"Lindsay wants to know if we'll take Gus tomorrow afternoon.  They're all going to the Statue of Liberty in the morning, but she and Mel want some time alone in the afternoon."

 

"Let's do it.  I like spending time with Gus."

"Paper!" Brian ordered.

 

The desk clerk handed him paper, pen and envelope.  He quickly scribbled a note.  "See that Ms. Peterson gets that before she leaves in the morning," Brian said to the clerk who nodded and took the envelope.

 

Brian grabbed Justin's hand and they raced over to the elevator in time to catch one going up.  As soon as the door of their room closed behind them, they were all over each other.  They tore their clothes off, kissing and groping the whole time.  They edged toward the bed and by the time they reached it, they were both hard and ready.  They tumbled onto the bed, pressing into each other and holding tight.

 

Justin whispered Brian's name again and again between kisses and caresses.  Their rock hard cocks were trapped between their straining bodies."

 

"Now, Brian!" Justin whispered.  "Hurry!"

 

Brian had a condom on and was positioned at Justin's hole in a flash.  He pressed through the first ring of muscle and heard Justin's sharp intake of breath.  He waited till he felt Justin relax and then plowed the rest of the way in.  He bent his lover in half as he leaned in for a kiss.

 

"Jesus, I've missed you!" Brian groaned.

 

"I love you," Justin gasped.

 

And then there was only flesh against flesh, lips against lips, hearts beating in pounding rhythm and bodies plunging toward ultimate release.  All too soon it was over and they lay against each other, panting but fulfilled.

 

"Two weeks is too long to be apart," Brian said.

 

"We don't have to be apart anymore," Justin told him.

 

"That's right!  You're coming home with me on Sunday."

 

"You bet I am!"

 

"It's about time too," Brian stated.

 

"You were the one who made me come here in the first place," Justin teased.

 

"I was such an idiot to send you away."

 

"No, you weren't.  I think it was for the best.  I needed to grow up and be on my own a bit.  Besides, we survived it, and now we can be together forever."

Brian groaned inwardly.  He didn't know how to do forever.  Christ, sometimes he wasn't sure he could do tomorrow.

 

Justin looked at him, wondering about Brian's silence.  "You are ready for me to move back in, aren't you?"

 

"You never left, Justin.  Not in any real way."

 

"That is the loveliest thing to say," Justin said, caressing Brian's cheek.  "I love you so much."

"I'd like us to go home right now," Brian said.

 

"That is so sweet, and cute!" Justin chuckled.

 

Brian snorted.  "Are you calling me cute and sweet?  Because I'm not!"

 

"Oh, I forgot.  You're big and bad and mean and an asshole and…"

 

"Shut up or I'll have to fuck you senseless."

 

"Promises, promises!"

 

"You think I can't do that?"

 

"Show me!" Justin dared him.

 

"You better be careful what you wish for, you might just get it."

Brian grabbed Justin's cock and began to work his magic on the boy's body.  Justin was whimpering and begging Brian to fuck him, before he really knew what hit him.  By the time Brian actually fucked him he was incoherent with need and primal lust.

 

When they were finished, Brian cradled his well fucked boy in his arms.  "Are you fucked senseless?" he smirked.

 

"You could have left me one or two brain cells," Justin said, sighing.

 

"Sorry about that!" Brian chuckled.

 

"Now you'll have to look after me and take care of me.  I'll be totally incapable of doing anything for myself," Justin pouted.

 

"You can always be my rent boy, my sex toy!"

 

"Okay," Justin said cheerily.  Then his mood sobered and he looked at Brian with a serious expression on his face.  "I really think I'm ready to make a living.  I want to contribute to our life together."

 

"You do in so many ways."

"I know, but I want it to be concrete.  I hope I sell some of my work this weekend."

 

"I'm sure you will."  Brian kissed him.

 

"Don't you dare buy any!" Justin warned him.  "I want to do this on my own.  If nothing sells, then …"

 

"Then what?"

 

"I'll be disappointed, but I'll live."

"Of course you will."

"Brian, are we going to be all right when I come home?"

 

"Yes!" Brian replied, hoping that was true.

 

They snuggled down into the bed and were soon fast asleep.

 

Brian awoke with a start.  He looked at the clock and saw he had been asleep for a couple of hours.  His arm was wrapped around Justin, but he had been dreaming of another man.

 

"Shit!" he thought.  "I hoped once I was with Justin that dreams of Trip would stop."

He slid out of bed and went to look out the window.  He wondered how life could be so fucked up.  They had managed to get through almost five months of separation.  Justin was about to come home, and everything should be perfect.  Instead, he was dreaming of another man, a beautiful man.  Why couldn't life just let him be happy for once?  Justin was the one he wanted, the one who had changed his life.  Justin deserved better than the screwed up mess that he was.  Yet somehow it was Brian that Justin wanted and loved, and he was going to do his best not to fuck it up.

 

He crawled back into bed, looking at Justin's sleeping face.  He was so beautiful and so pure.  Brian loved him, even though he still felt that he didn't deserve him.  He vowed to stop thinking of Trip and concentrate on what he had.  He snuggled against the boy's back, feeling Justin's steady breaths.  It was a long time before he slept.

 

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

 

Saturday and Sunday whizzed by.  They fucked away Saturday morning, but they got out of bed in time to meet Lindsay and Melanie and collect Gus for the afternoon.

 

Gus demanded to see Daisy and Tyrone, so they spent the afternoon in Central Park.  It was a beautiful spring day.  Flowers were blooming and the park was full of people walking, rollerblading and just sitting.  Gus rode the carousel and fed carrots to Daisy.  They walked all over the park, much of the time Brian carrying Gus on his shoulders.  They had dinner at a little restaurant where Gus talked a blue streak and had them laughing all through the meal.

 

After dinner Justin had to go back to the art show for the evening, so Brian took Gus back to the hotel.  Mel and Lindsay were still out, so he took Gus up to his room and they watched TV together.

 

"Dada, Justin comes home with us?" Gus asked.

 

"Yes."

"Good.  He lives with you?"

 

"Yes."

"Me too!"

 

"No, Sonny Boy.  You live with your mommies."

Gus looked puzzled.  "Why?"

 

"That's your home, like the loft is my home.  You can come and stay with Justin and me on weekends.  Okay?"

 

"Okay."  Gus didn't seem too sure about that.  "I love you, Dada.  Love Justin too!" Gus said with a smile.

 

"I love him too," Brian said, kissing the little boy.

 

By the time Lindsay and Mel came to pick up their son, Gus was sound asleep on the bed.  Brian carried him over to their room and kissed him goodnight.  Brian glanced at the clock.  Justin would be done at the gallery soon and they were meeting the gang at Whiplash for drinks and a few dances.

 

When Justin arrived at the club they were all stationed around the bar.  Justin ran up to Brian and threw his arms around his neck.  "I sold three pieces!" he gushed.

 

"That's great!" Brian said.  "Which ones?"

"Somebody bought the one of you in your leather pants this afternoon.  They insisted on taking it with them, so I had to rearrange my whole display when I got back to the gallery."

 

"What else?"

 

"A middle aged couple bought 'My Passion' tonight.  They said it reminded them of how they both felt when they first met.  And later a man bought the little one of your dick."  Justin grinned at him.

 

"That wasn't really my dick, was it?"

 

Justin nodded.  "Your best feature!"

 

"Shit!" Brian grimaced.  "So are you rich now?"

 

"Hardly, but every little bit helps."

Everybody congratulated Justin on his sales and made sure he got a beer.  He and Brian danced with Michael and Ben, and had another beer with Ted and Emmett.  Brian caught a fleeting glimpse of Noel and Zach, but he wasn't really worried about them anymore.  Justin would be safe with him in Pittsburgh.

 

Emmett sidled up to Brian at the bar.  The others were all dancing.  "I hope Teddy didn't cause any trouble by bringing up Trip's name last night," he explained to Brian.

 

"It didn't help!" Brian said, rather ungraciously.

 

"There isn't really anything between you and Trip, is there?"

 

"It's none of your business, but…no!"

 

"Good," Emmett said, and went back to dance with the others.

 

Brian downed his shot of bourbon and ordered a double.  Where were the good old days when people like Emmett were afraid to ask him about his personal life?  Truth be told he didn't have a personal life back then.  He had a series of tricks that were common knowledge to everyone.  He downed the bourbon.  He felt its impact hit his system and he relaxed a bit.  Maybe he should get wasted.  Then he could push all those thoughts and doubts and dreams out of his head.

 

"Wanna dance?"  Justin wrapped his arms around Brian's waist.

 

"I'm ready to go," Brian said sharply.

 

"Sure … sure," Justin agreed, surprised at Brian's change of mood.

 

"Stay if you want.  I'm leaving."

Brian began to walk away.  Justin followed and slid his hand into Brian's.  They spent most of the night fucking.  Justin felt a kind of desperation in Brian that he couldn't understand.  He did his best to match Brian's needs and fulfill whatever Brian asked of him.  Brian felt Justin's compliance with his every whim, and almost resented it.  The boy had talked about asserting himself, but here he was subjugating himself to Brian.  Brian drove into that willing body again and again during the night.  But he never felt any better when he was done.  In fact he felt worse.  In some fucked up way, he knew he was punishing Justin, punishing him for his own guilt and doubts.

 

It was late when they woke.  They hadn't even tried to sleep until almost four.  Justin smiled wanly at Brian.

 

"You okay?" Brian asked.

 

"I doubt I can walk," Justin tried to joke, "but I'm all right otherwise."

Brian stretched and groaned.

 

"What's wrong?" Justin asked.  "Last night was … strange."

"Nothing," Brian replied.

 

"Brian, I think we need to talk about it."

 

"No, not now!"

 

"All right, but we will when we get back to Pittsburgh," Justin stated.

 

"Sure," Brian replied, and Justin wanted to strangle him.

 

They hardly spoke to each other after that, each fearing that they would start a fight.  They called room service for something to eat.  Jennifer and Molly were meeting them at Justin's dorm to make sure everything was ready to go back to Pittsburgh.  Justin had packed most of his stuff during the week, but they'd do a last check together.  Jennifer was going to see that all his things got to the airport.  Justin was supposed to be at the gallery from two to four, and then he and Brian would go directly to the airport.  They would meet Jennifer and his luggage there.

 

Brian knew Justin wanted him at the gallery that afternoon, but he would have preferred to escape to somewhere that he could drink.  He agreed with Justin that last night had been strange.  He must have fucked Justin at least five times.  The more the boy gave in to him, the more he wanted to punish him. He knew he had come very close to hurting him, and what really scared him was how much he had wanted to hurt him.  In some screwed up way he had believed that if he could fuck Justin hard enough and long enough, he could cleanse himself of his doubts and his unwanted thoughts.  All he had succeeded in doing was scaring them both.

 

He wandered around the gallery, not really seeing anything.  He had looked at it all before.  His thoughts kept wandering to Pittsburgh, to Justin, to their 'relationship' and to Trip.

 

All of a sudden he was aware of someone's eyes on him.  He turned to see Noel staring at him.  The expression on his face was hard to read.  Was it loathing or lust?  Brian wasn't sure what he saw there, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from Noel's.

 

"Why are you staring at me?" Brian asked.

 

"I could ask you the same thing," Noel said.

 

Brian was tempted to walk away, but he wanted to know something.  "Do you hate me?" he asked Noel.

 

"I could ask you the same thing," Noel said again.

 

Brian wanted to punch him in the face.  "I did," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm, "but I don't care enough to hate you now."

"Brutally honest, as always!" Noel responded.  "I do hate you, but my feelings are also very … ambivalent."

 

"Meaning?"

 

"I'm still attracted to you."  Noel sighed.  "You must know the effect you have on men, probably women too for that matter."

 

Brian grimaced.  "It's not something I think about.  Sometimes it comes in very handy, but a lot of the time it causes me trouble big time."

"I hope you don't expect me to feel sorry for you!" Noel said sarcastically.

 

"Hell, no!"

 

"Good, because I don't.  You're really a lucky son of a bitch.  You have your pretty boy, your impressive job, lots of money and your pick of any man you want.  If this causes you trouble, then tough shit!  Nobody's killed you yet, so consider yourself lucky!"

 

Brian laughed out loud.  "Thanks, Noel," he said.  "I needed that reality check.  Now I can get over myself and the little pity party I was having.  I have such a fucking fantastic life that I shouldn't have a care in the world.  Thanks a million!"

 

Noel's mouth had dropped open at Brian's tirade.  He shook his head and walked away.

 

Brian continued to laugh. He couldn't believe that he had just had that conversation with Noel.  Sometimes life was a fucking trip!  "Oops!"  There was that name again, and he laughed even more hysterically.

 

He took a deep breath and tried to regain control.  He was glad Justin hadn't witnessed this little episode.  He glanced up at the clock.  It was almost four, so he began to make his way back to Justin's space.  He found the boy talking to some man in an animated fashion.  Brian hung back, not wanting to interrupt, and watching the interaction.  They kept pointing to one of the small paintings, the one that looked a bit like a spine.  Justin kept shaking his head and looked none too pleased.  When he noticed Brian watching, he smiled and waved him over.

 

"You can decide and let them know at the front desk," Brian heard Justin say as he came up next to him.  "Take it or leave it.  I have to go."  Justin linked his arm through Brian's and pulled him towards the front door.  He waved to Dale and Joanne, and shouted, "I'll e-mail you!"  He turned to Brian and said, "Let's blow this place."

"You've got it!" Brian responded.  He hailed a cab as they stepped outside.  "What did that guy want?" Brian asked, as they settled into the taxi.

 

"He wanted that painting, but he was trying to beat down the price."

 

"Is that what you were arguing about?"

 

"We weren't arguing.  I just refused to bargain."

"It's good to know your worth and never take anything less."

Justin gave Brian a look.  "Where did that come from?"

"I'm sorry about last night.  I didn't treat you very … nicely."

"You don't do nice, Brian.  We both know that."

Brian snorted.  "I was in a weird mood last night."

"I know.  But now you're better?"

 

"Infinitely!"

 

"Good.  I can hardly wait to get home."

"And I can hardly wait to have you there."

Justin laughed, and then smiled that glorious smile.  Brian felt his heart catch in his throat, but then he smiled back.  They were going home, together, and that was all that mattered.

Return to Whispers of Doubt