An
Odyssey
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Craig Taylor recovered well from his
operation. Jennifer nursed him,
and Justin continued to spend as much time with him as he
could. After his checkup, Craig
was told that everything looked good, and he could move back to his apartment,
and resume his old life.
Justin had found it increasingly difficult
to stand his fathers prejudice against Brian specifically and homosexuality
in general. He bore Craigs
tirades, feeling that his fathers health somehow depended on
him. However, as his father
improved, Justin started to withdraw.
He had endured as much as he
could. When he tried to reason
with his father, he was rebuffed and chastised like a
child. On the day his father
left his mothers house, Justin once again left his fathers
life.
He had gone to Jennifers to help his
father move back to his apartment.
Craig started in on Justin while they packed his
belongings.
Have you left that fucking pervert
yet? Craig demanded.
No, dad.
Well, you better wake up soon, before
its too late.
Im not leaving
Brian.
What?
I thought you were thinking about it.
I never said
that.
But you let me think that you agreed
with me.
I never agreed with you; I just
didnt disagree. I didnt
want to fight with you while you were recovering.
And now that Im recovered,
youre going to fight with me?
Not unless you make
me.
Are you going to get away from that
asshole Kinney?
No, and I want you to stop calling
him names.
I have no intention of letting up on
that pervert until you leave him.
Im not leaving him, but youre
going to force me to leave you.
So be it
then. Get
out! Go away and leave me
alone. I dont want anything
more to do with you. From this
point on I have no son.
Justin stared at his
father. Over a month of listening
to this shit, taking all the crap his father dished out, all for
nothing.
Im going,
dad. Im sorry you still
hate me. I
tried.
Not hard
enough! Youre as perverted
as your boyfriend.
Those were the last words Justin heard as
he ran down the stairs. His
mother met him at the bottom.
Im sorry, honey, she
said. I heard it
all.
He still hates
me. I thought I could make him
forget about me being gay. Go
back to the way things used to be.
I dont think hes going
to let that happen, Jennifer said sadly.
Youre
right. I should have known
better. I was fooling myself
this whole time.
But you did help him,
Justin. He got through this
whole cancer business a lot easier, because you were there, Jennifer
said softly, trying to comfort her son.
Im sorry I did
it. He almost tore Brian and
me apart, and then he tells me to get
out. He doesnt care about
me at all. I bet he wouldnt
even come to see me, if I was the one who had
cancer.
Oh, Justin, dont say
that.
Why
not? Its
true. I hope I never see him
again.
Justin left, not shedding a
tear. His father wasnt
worth tears. He caught a bus
and was at the loft in half an hour.
He hoped Brian would be there.
When Justin arrived at the loft, there was
no Brian. His heart
sank. He really needed to see
him. He tried Brians cell,
but it was shut off. He
groaned. Where could Brian
be? It was Saturday morning,
so he might be at the diner or at the comic book store with
Michael.
At the diner there were no familiar faces
and Debbie wasnt working that
shift. He decided to check with Michael
next. There were a few people in the comic store, but no
Brian.
Hey, Boy Wonder, Michael greeted
him.
Hi,
Michael. Im looking for
Brian.
Havent seen him
today.
You dont know where he might
be, do you?
Ordinarily, on a Saturday morning,
Id say with you. Why
isnt he with you?
I went to my moms to help my
dad move back to his apartment.
And Brian would want no part of
that, Michael offered.
You got that right, Justin
agreed.
So Brian didnt say what he was
going to do while you were helping your father?
No.
I thought Id be gone most of the day.
What
happened?
I ... I dont want to talk about
it.
I think you do, Michael said,
seeing tears welling up.
Come in the office.
Ill leave the door open, but we can have some
privacy.
Justin followed Michael into the
office. Michael pulled a chair
around so that Justins back was to the store, but Michael could keep
an eye on his customers. He
handed Justin a Kleenex. Justin
gave his eyes a quick swipe and took a deep breath.
Im fine, he
said.
No, youre
not. What happened? Michael
asked.
My father told me to get out, go
away. He said he no longer has
a son. Justin was trying
to hold it together. It
was pretty ugly.
I thought you were spending a lot of
time with your father, that things were better between
you.
I did my best to help him through his
surgery. I tried to get him
to love me again.
But he
didnt.
It was awful,
Michael. The whole time we were
together he kept at me about Brian corrupting me and how I needed to get
out of my perverted lifestyle. I
thought I was going to go crazy.
What a bastard! Michael
said. He just doesnt
get it.
Thats for
sure. Now that hes better,
I couldnt stand it anymore.
When I told him to stop, he kicked me out.
That must have
hurt.
It
did. Thats why I need
Brian.
Youll find
him. I hope Brian doesnt
go ballistic when you tell him about this.
Oh,
shit! Justin looked
frightened. I dont
want him going after my father.
Yeah.
A murder charge wouldnt look good on his resume, Michael
joked. He was immediately sorry
that he had said that when he saw the fear on Justins face grow even
greater. I was kidding,
Justin. Hell blow a gasket
when you tell him, but he wont actually hurt
anyone.
You dont know that,
Michael. Hes already been
to see my father and that was not pleasant.
Oh, said
Michael. I know Brian
will be angry, but really, hes not into
violence.
Yeah, I guess so, Justin said,
looking somewhat relieved.
Thanks for talking to me,
Michael. I should
go.
Anytime, Boy
Wonder. Im sorry your
dads such a bigot.
So am I.
Where are you going to look
next?
Lindsays?
Thats a good idea, Justin
said, getting up. Thanks
again.
Michael smiled, as Justin turned to
leave. Poor kid,
Michael thought. He really
wants his fathers love. It
must be harder to lose your father than never have one at
all.
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Justin rang the bell at Mel and
Lindsays. A moment later
the door opened and Gus barreled out into Justins
arms.
Jus'in, Jusin, he cried,
giving Justin slobbery kiss after slobbery kiss.
Hey,
Gus. Im glad to see you
too, Justin cooed at the boy.
Play, Gus
demanded.
Okay, in a minute, Justin said,
hugging the baby and looking at Lindsay who stood in the
doorway.
When I said it was Justin at the door,
he bolted right past me to get to you, Lindsay
explained.
Hes a
handful. Is Brian here?
Justin asked hopefully.
No, I havent seen him
today.
Oh, Justin said, looking
crestfallen. I really
need to talk to him. Do you
know where he might be?
Lindsay shook her
head. Did you try his
cell?
Yeah, but its shut
off.
Come in, and stay for a
while. Gus wants to
play.
Im sorry, Gus, but I need to go.
No! Gus said, tears starting to fill his
eyes.
All right, Justin gave
in. For a few
minutes. Gus kissed him
again and squirmed down.
Thanks, Justin, Lindsay
said. We would have been
in for a major crying session, if you left without
playing.
Justin followed Gus into the house and sat
down on the sofa where Gus began bringing him
toys. Justin wound up the wind-up
ones and Gus clapped. He gave
the stuffed animals voices and Gus
giggled. Finally he started
building a pyramid with blocks and Gus took over.
Once Gus was busy, Lindsay said, You
could talk to me.
Justin shook his head.
Im a good listener, she
persisted.
I know, but its hard to talk
about.
Is it your
dad? I heard he was
ill.
Hes doing
better. He went back to his
apartment today.
Thats
good. You must be
relieved.
Yeah, right, Justin said
sarcastically.
What does that
mean?
He told me to get out, that he no longer
has a son.
Oh, Justin, Lindsay looked
shocked.
He hates
me. I tried so hard to please
him and help him and then he throws me out because I wont leave
Brian.
Sweetie, Im sure you did your
best, but you cant control how your father
feels. You have to do whats
right for you.
I know, but I miss
him. Correction, I missed him,
but not anymore.
Sometimes you have to cut your
losses. Let him
go.
Im beginning to see
that.
I had to do that with my
parents. I wanted them to help
with the wedding and attend the
ceremony. They wouldnt
do either, and pretending to be something we werent didnt help
either.
That must have really hurt
you.
It
did. I dont know if I
can ever forgive them.
I guess we both have shitty
parents.
Yeah, but you have your
mother. Both my parents refuse
to acknowledge who I am and my relationship with
Mel.
Are you trying to tell me I dont
really have it so bad?
No, Lindsay
chuckled. Its bad,
but just know that youre not alone in
this. It isnt easy being
queer.
Justin
laughed. Sounds like a
Muppet song.
Maybe it should be, Lindsay said
somewhat seriously.
My dad really hurt me today, but Im
beginning to see that Im not alone in having this
happen. It doesnt make
it hurt less, but it is kind of comforting.
Sounds like youre feeling a little
better.
I am, but I still want
Brian.
What about Deb or Vic? Lindsay
asked.
Havent tried them yet, but
thats a good idea. I better
get going. Bye, Gus, Justin
said, giving the baby a kiss.
Bye, Jusin, Gus said, still
busy with his blocks.
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Justin arrived at Deb and Vics soon
after leaving Lindsays.
Brian wasnt there either.
Debbie made Justin come in for milk and
cookies. They sat at the kitchen
table.
Why arent you and Brian out together
today? Vic asked.
I went to help my father move back
to his apartment.
What happened? Vic pursued, sensing
that there was some reason for Justin being there.
He kicked me
out. Told me he has no son,
Justin said rather sadly, but with no tears.
What brought that on? asked
Vic.
He thinks Im a
pervert. He wanted me to leave
Brian.
Fucking asshole! Debbie
contributed.
Yeah, but it doesnt make me feel
any better.
What he is shouldnt really
matter, Vic said.
But it does matter,
Vic. He hurt
me.
I understand that, and it isnt
the first time hes hurt you, is it?
No.
So you can let him keep hurting you,
or you can refuse to be hurt.
How can I do
that?
By concentrating on the good things
in your life, and not dwelling on the fact that your father is a fag
hater, Vic stated.
That sounds too
simple.
It is
simple. Why were you trying
to find Brian? Vic asked.
Because I wanted to tell him what my
father did.
So Brian could beat the shit out of
your father?
Of course
not.
So Brian could hold you and tell you
itll be all right?
Yes, I need
him.
So youre concentrating on the
good things in your life.
Oh, Justin said, realization
dawning. I guess thats
why I need Brian right now.
So why are you still here? Vic
grinned.
Im
going. Thanks, Vic, Justin
said, giving the man a hug.
What about me? Debbie asked,
wanting a hug too.
Justin hugged
her. Thanks, Deb,
he said.
For
what? Keeping my big mouth shut
while Vic talked some sense into you?
I know when to shut up ... sometimes.
Justin hugged her again and
left. He stood on the porch
trying to figure out what to do next.
He decided to call Emmett, although he didnt really think Brian
would be there. Emmett confirmed
that Brian wasnt there, but suggested Brian might be at
work. That was a possibility,
but if his cell was off, there would be no way to reach him
there. Justin decided to go
back to the loft and wait.
When Justin opened the loft door, his heart
skipped a beat. Brian was sitting
on the couch watching TV.
Brian looked up and said,
Hey.
The next thing he knew he had a delicious
blond body in his lap. Justin
squeezed the breath out of him and gave him a hard kiss.
Whoa, whats got into you?
Brian asked, hugging him.
Where have you
been? Ive been looking
all over for you, Justin said, kissing him again.
Why were you looking for
me? Werent you with your
dad?
We had a ... disagreement, Justin
said.
What the fuck does that
mean?
He kicked me out, Justin
said.
Fuck! Brian
responded.
Its all right.
No, its not! What
happened?
The usual, Justin said
ruefully.
Get away from that pervert,
Kinney. Hes ruining your
life, Brian repeated Craigs all too familiar
words.
Pretty close, said
Justin.
What did you
do?
I finally told him to
stop.
Good, but he
didnt.
No.
I told him I had tried really hard to get him to accept
me. He said I hadnt tried
hard enough. Brian
grimaced. Then he told
me to get out. He no longer
has a son.
Fuck!
Brian shoved Justin off his lap, needing to get up and pace and
rant. I should go over
there right now and beat the shit out of that fucking
asshole! Who does he think he
is? You took all of his crap
for weeks and then he kicks you out.
Fuck!
Its all
right. Justin tried to
calm him.
Its not all
right. Hes hurt you
again.
True, but Ill be all
right.
How can you say
that? I know how hard you tried
to make things good between you.
He just doesnt fucking get it.
Youre
right. Youre the second
person to tell me that today.
Brian looked at him, eyebrows
raised. Who
else?
Michael.
Michael?
What does he have to do with this?
I was
upset. I was looking for you
and went to the comic book store.
Michael was really nice to me.
He talked to me and made me feel
better. I just wanted to be
told it wasnt all my fault, and Michael did
that.
Good for Mikey, Brian said, strangely
pleased.
Justin
smiled. It was nice to see Brian
happy that they were getting along.
Things were sometimes tense between Justin and
Michael. Michael suggested
I go hunt for you at Lindsays, so I did.
You were making the rounds, were
you?
Yep.
I played with Gus a bit and that cheered me
up.
Gus is good for that, Brian
observed. How can you
be upset when hes got you around the neck and is planting slobbery
kisses up and down your face.
Justin
laughed. Hes the
best, and Lindsays pretty good too.
Oh?
She knows how to cut through the
crap.
Youre telling me! Brian
reacted.
I was feeling sorry for myself, and
she let me. Then she reminded
me about her wedding and what her parents did to
her.
She was very
hurt.
Yeah.
I never realized how much.
They dont even see their
grandchild. How can they do
that?
I dont
know. Theyre worse assholes
than your father.
I stopped feeling sorry for myself
after that. Lindsays amazing
how she doesnt let it get her down.
Most of the time, Brian agreed,
remembering a few times when a devastated Lindsay had come to him, and they
had comforted each other.
So where did you go next?
Vic and
Debs.
What happened
there?
Im not exactly
sure. Debbie barely said
anything.
Are you kidding? Brian couldnt
conceive of that.
She said she knows when to keep her
big mouth shut.
Brian
snorted. So Vic did all
the talking.
Hes
incredible. He told me I could
continue to let my father hurt me, or I could refuse to be
hurt. I didnt understand
how I could do that.
How does someone do
that? Brian asked, knowing
that he did it by shutting everyone out.
He hoped that wasnt Vics advice to
Justin. He didnt really
think Vic would suggest that. He
wouldnt want Justin turning into a cold, heartless shit like
Brian.
Justin looked intently at Brian, wondering
if Brian was thinking about himself. He wanted to see Brians reaction to Vics
advice. He told me to
concentrate on the good things in my life and forget about the
bad. Thats why I needed
to see you, Justin said, and waited for Brian to
respond.
Brian processed Justins
words. After a minute he said,
Im a good thing in your life?
Of course you
are.
Brian smiled at him, but shook his
head.
Justin continued, At first I was looking
for you so you could be angry at my father like I was, and blame it all on
him. I wanted to hear you say
youd beat him up for me, even though I didnt really want you
to do that. Michael got me past
that. Then I was feeling sorry
for myself, and Lindsay showed me that that was a useless
emotion. Finally Vic made me see the positive side of
things.
Quite an
odyssey. You didnt need
me at all.
I sure did, and I do, Justin
stated emphatically.
Youre my good
thing. Justin looked at
him, his eyes darkening with lust.
Want to show me how good?
Brian
laughed. Always,
he responded.
Justin grabbed Brians hand and pulled
him down onto the couch, where he kissed him
deeply. Justins hand caressed
the back of Brians neck and pressed his lips into his own, not wanting
them to separate. After a few
minutes of delicious sucking, Justin let them both come up for
air.
Hoover, Brian
gasped.
What? Justin
chuckled.
Are you really all right about your
father? I can still go kick
the shit out of him, Brian offered.
Not
necessary. Im through
with him, Justin stated.
Brian pushed Justin back to look at his
face. I know you better
than that. Your father can kick
you out, but you can never do the same to him.
Justin
frowned. I guess youre
right. If he was willing to
accept me for who I am, Id want him back in my
life. But ... thats not
likely to happen, so Im not going to worry about
him. I want to concentrate on
us, on you, Justin added, his hand dropping to Brians
crotch.
Brian groaned, feeling his cock swell and
stiffen. Its extremely
difficult to have a serious conversation with you when you do things like
that, Brian said, trying to look stern.
Look whos talking about serious
conversations, Justin retorted, rubbing Brians crotch a little
harder. I dont want
to talk right now.
I wont argue with
you.
Brian felt Justin unzip his
jeans. Pretty bold,
arent you? Brian
asked, liking this assertive Justin.
Bold enough, Justin
bragged.
You better be ready for the consequences
of your actions.
More than
ready! What do you have in
mind?
Lay down, Brian
commanded.
Justin now had Brians dick
free. He ran his thumb over
the slit and clasped it securely in his
hand. Brians head went
back as he savored the feeling. He
loved when Justin touched him, especially like
this. He started to push his
jeans down, but he needed to get up to do
that. Justin still had him by
the cock.
Let go, he
ordered.
No, Justin said, continuing to
hold on.
Justin! Brian said
ominously.
No, Justin insisted, pulling
Brian farther up his body.
What are you
doing?
Fuck my
face.
What?
You heard
me. Justin continued his
maneuverings. Brian inched forward,
his legs straddling Justins chest.
Justin raised his head and kissed the tip of Brians
cock. Brian pushed him back
down and inched up farther, allowing Justin to take his cock into his
mouth. Justins tongue
swept around the cap and through the
slit. Brian gritted his teeth and
groaned. Justin released his cock and smiled up at
him. He started licking up and
down Brians shaft, sucking here and there, and squeezing Brians
balls with his other hand.
Brians mouth dropped open.
He slid up a little farther, placing his hands above and on either
side of Justins head. Justin took Brians cock into his warm, waiting mouth
and held it there. Brian shifted
up a bit farther and began to rock back and forth, his cock plowing in and
out of Justins willing mouth.
Justin did his best not to choke, as Brian took it slow at
first. When Brian would pull
back, Justin would suck the tip, making sure it didnt
escape. The reaction to that
suction was exquisite for both of them.
Brians head would lean back, his eyes would roll back, his lips
would curl back, and from the back of his throat would come the most primal
growl that Justin had ever heard.
It made him shiver, knowing that he could elicit that sound from his
lover.
Brian had never felt anything like
this. He was totally in control,
but Justin was adding the most unbelievable sensations with his soft, warm
mouth, lips and tongue. Brian
began moving faster, unable to stop
himself. He wanted to savors
every moment, but he knew he wouldnt last
long. He felt his orgasm building
and looked deeply into Justins
eyes. He saw such love and trust
there, and he was lost. With a sound bordering on complete insanity he came and
came and came into Justins mouth.
The next thing Brian knew he was cradled
on Justins chest, the boys arms wrapped tight around
him. He felt Justin kiss the
top of his head.
You okay? Justin asked
tenderly.
More than okay, Brian
gasped.
Was that
good?
Un-fucking-believable!
Sounds as though you liked it,
Justin chuckled.
Ummm, Brian
groaned. That was
fabulous! Now its your
turn, and he took hold of Justins straining
hard-on. Lets see
what I can do for you.
An hour or two later they lay in bed, tired
and sated. Each had done his
best to pleasure the other, to make the other go beyond anything they had
experienced before. In a way
it was like starting over, putting all of the Craig Taylor bullshit behind
them, and finding their way back to each other.
Justin lay against Brians chest, and
whispered, Ive never felt closer to
you.
We have actually been closer several
times today, Brian reminded him.
Justin smiled up at
him. I didnt mean
physically.
I know, Brian said, kissing
Justins fingers that were intertwined with his
own. I feel like weve
found each other again. Maybe
we had to get rid of your father to do that.
Maybe.
Today was so horrible, but now it couldnt be
better.
Like a phoenix we rise out of the
ashes.
Is it rising again? Justin giggled,
looking at Brians cock.
You wish.
I dont have to
wish. I can make it happen so
easily.
Smart little fucker, arent
you?
You bet, Justin said, leaning
over and kissing the tip of Brians
cock. He got the desired
reaction. See, he
said, flashing his most angelic smile.
How can you look so sweet and be such
a bad, bad boy?
Practice.
Brian
snorted. He reached down and
ran one finger up the inside of Justins
thigh. He saw the boys
cock twitch in response.
Seems like youre not the only one who can cause something
to rise.
Want to go again? Justin
asked.
Always.
God, you are
insatiable.
No more than
you.
True.
Thats why were so well suited, Justin
said.
Yeah.
Id kinda like to stay like this
a bit longer.
Thats fine with me, Brian
agreed.
We dont talk all that much, even
yet, so I like it when we are quiet and together and can
talk.
Sure, Brian
said. What do you want
to talk about? He hoped
it wasnt the list.
I was wondering where you were when
I was looking for you.
Oh, Brian answered, not wanting
to say more.
You had your cell shut
off. What were you
doing?
Brian debated lying, but had long since learned
that that only created more problems.
He either had to refuse to answer or fess up as Debbie
was wont to say.
I went to see my mother, Brian
admitted.
Your
mother? What
for?
Brian knew he was going to have to
explain. That was the price
of having Justin with him. He
sighed and said, I thought Id make it a family
day. Since you were getting
blasted by your father, Id go and be flagellated by my
mother.
Since when are you into
flagellation? Justin grinned
at him.
The right kind, maybe, but this,
never.
So why did you
go?
God, you never give up, do
you?
Of course
not.
Brian
groaned. I havent
seen my mother for months, so I thought she might have softened a
bit. I guess I started thinking
about her after the list.
Brian stopped, regretting that he had brought up the list
again. Justin didnt say
anything, so he continued.
I thought maybe we could at least be
civil. Brian stopped again.
How did it go? Justin
prompted.
Just
heavenly. She had a long discourse
about Hell and how quickly Id find myself
there. She asked about you
too.
Me?
Really?
Yeah.
Is that blond boy still with
you? Hell be losing his
immortal soul too.
At least well be
together.
Trust you to find the silver lining
in a condemnation to Hell.
Brian kissed him.
Youre such an optimist.
One of us needs to
be.
Are you calling me a
pessimist?
If the thong fits ...
What kind of thong are you referring
to?
Dont change the subject,
Justin said, giggling. Did
you get anywhere with your mother?
Not
exactly. Shes going to
pray for us. At least we
didnt come to blows.
Shes still deathly opposed to my
homosexuality. Like that has
a bearing on anything! Maybe
she thinks if shes horrified enough, shell scare me
straight.
Justin
laughed. Not likely to
happen.
You should
know.
How did you leave
things?
She didnt piss me off so much
that Ill never see her again, but I think well keep our
distance.
Thats too
bad. At least I have my
mother.
Youre
lucky. How did she react to
what your father did?
She tried to make it
better. She said Id helped
him overcome the cancer. I think
she feels caught in the middle.
Ill bet shell be glad to
have Craig back in his own apartment, and out of her
life.
I think
so. There were some tense
moments. I can imagine she tore
a strip off him after I left.
Yeah.
I know what its like to be on the wrong side of your
mother. She wears a velvet glove
to hold the meat cleaver she beats you over the head
with.
Im going to tell her that,
Justin threatened.
Dont you dare!
Weve just started to get
along.
If she knew you thought of her as wielding
a meat cleaver, she would take one to
you. Justin chuckled at
the image that conjured up for him.
Justin, dont be cruel to your
mother, or me.
Im kidding, Justin gave
in, but it would have been fun to see her take you on if I told
her.
Dont you even think about it,
bad boy!
Hmm, how
bad?
Very bad!
I can be even badder.
Is that a
word? Although, I like the
concept.
Want me to show
you?
I can hardly wait, the badder the
better!
Justin groaned and snaked his hand down to
Brians cock.
Lets see just how bad I can be, he said
speculatively.
I can only imagine! Brian replied,
his cock already responding.
Imaginations everything,
and Justin gave him his most wickedly angelic smile.