Heartache and
Afternoon Delight
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Brian opened the loft
door. It was 8:30 and he had
a pounding headache. Work had
been a bugger. His idiot underlings
had fucked up the presentation for tomorrow, and he had spent the last four
hours fixing it. Usually he
could rely on Kevin, but even he had screwed up this
time. Brian wanted something
to eat, and then some sleep. Maybe
that would help to stop the thumping drum inside his
head.
He glanced around and didnt see
Justin.
Shit! he
thought. I was hoping
hed have some dinner ready.
He walked up to the bedroom and got rid of
his suit. He pulled on some
jeans and a T-shirt, and went to the
kitchen. He opened the fridge
to find the parlor bare.
Fuck! he said aloud, and slammed
the refrigerator door.
Brian, a voice
said.
Brian
jumped. What the
fuck?
He walked over to the couch and saw Justin
sitting on the floor, his back against the couch and his feet under the coffee
table.
You scared the shit out of
me. I didnt think you
were here. What the fuck are
you doing?
Justin merely stared up at him, a strange
look on his face.
Justin, answer
me.
Im not sure how to answer
you.
What?
You asked what I was
doing. I was
thinking.
Why didnt you say something when
I came in?
I dont
know. I sort of heard you, but
my mind was somewhere else.
Justin looked kind of scared.
Whats going
on? What were you thinking
about?
All of the people weve hurt,
and who have hurt us.
What the fuck
for? Brian was
shocked.
Its quite a list, when you put
them all together.
I dont give a fuck about any
of them.
I know, but dont you wonder why
its such a long list?
I never think about
it.
Maybe you
should.
What the fuck
for? So I can be sad like
you?
Justin winced, and said
nothing.
Get
up. I want something to
eat. Im going to order
Chinese, Brian said, pulling Justins arm.
Justin made no move to get
up. He didnt resist, but
he didnt help either. Brian
dropped his arm and left him sitting there, while he went to the desk to
order dinner. That done, he
came back to the couch and sat down next to Justin.
Justin, stop
this! Come up here and sit beside
me.
Justin looked up, and slowly with seemingly
enormous effort, he got off the floor and sat next to
Brian.
I have the mother of all headaches,
and Ive had a fucking lousy day at
work. I dont need this shit,
Justin.
Im sorry, but its something
I got thinking about this afternoon.
Are we bad people, Brian?
Fuck!
No! Stop
this!
I wish I could, but once I got started,
I couldnt stop. We must
be horrible people to have all this happen to us.
Thats
crazy. Were no saints,
but were not fucking monsters either.
But
listen. Theres Chris Hobbs,
my dad, the Sap, Kip Thomas, Ethan, Noel, even Gardner
Vance.
Shut up,
Justin! Youll drive us
both crazy rehashing this.
But they all hate us, Justin
said. Why do so many people
hate us?
Theyre jealous of us, of what
we have.
Maybe so, but look at what theyve
done to us.
I dont want to look at what
theyve done. I want you
to fucking stop this. Right
now! Do you hear
me?
Yes.
Good.
The food will be here soon.
Do you want a beer?
No.
Im getting one, and some
aspirins, Brian said, getting up.
Justin sat, saying
nothing.
Brian got his beer and a couple of
aspirins. The buzzer sounded,
announcing that dinner had arrived.
He paid the man and set the food out on the coffee
table. He got some plates and
cutlery and brought them over.
Justin sat, saying nothing.
After opening the containers, Brian dished
up a plateful of food. He extended it toward Justin, but the boy shook his
head.
Brian shrugged and started eating
it. It tasted fine, but he
wasnt enjoying it with Justin sitting silent and rigid beside
him. Finally, with half his
food eaten, Brian couldnt stand it
anymore. He dropped the plate
onto the coffee table, causing a loud crash.
Justin jumped.
Do I have your attention? Brian
asked.
Justin looked at him.
I want this shit to stop! Brian
said, enunciating each word carefully.
We dont always get what we
want, Justin replied.
Fuck!
Im going to bed, Brian said, getting
up.
Dont,
please! I think we should talk
about this. Justin grabbed
his arm, preventing Brian from moving away.
This is getting us nowhere, Brian
stated, but he made no further attempt to leave.
Sit down, please, and Ill try
to explain.
Brian looked at him, deciding what to
do. With a sigh he sat back
down. He really didnt
want to talk about this, but he knew that Justin needed
to.
So, Brian said, what do
you want to talk about?
Why.
Why? Brian
asked.
Why all those people did what they
did.
Their reasons werent all the
same.
I know, but I cant come to terms
with why so many people seem to hate us. Ive always tried to be nice to people, but I
wasnt going to let them push me around.
And Im rarely nice to people,
and I sure as shit wasnt going to let them push me
around.
Yeah, he
agreed. Justin stared at him
for a moment. Do you think
its because were gay?
Brian
snorted. Of course,
he sneered. They either
hate us like Hobbs and your dad, or lust after us till they learn to hate
us.
Justin looked
shocked. Brian was
right. Hobbs and his dad were
in a special category, but the others had started out as lovers, or tricks,
and then come to hate them.
Youre right, Justin
agreed. I wonder why it
always went bad?
They wanted more than we were willing
to give them.
I suppose, and when we refused them, they did terrible things.
Yeah, lawsuits, blackmail, Brian said, shaking his
head.
Craziness!
Pretty fucking loony! Brian
agreed.
Theyre crazy, but what about
us?
Are you calling me
nuts?
Justin smiled, for the first time all evening,
seeming to relax. No,
totally unreasonable and impossible most of the time, but not
nuts.
Well, thanks a
heap! Thats a ringing
endorsement.
Justin kissed
him. Hows your
head?
Better, since I took the
aspirin.
Want me to help relieve your
tension?
That would be great, since youve
been adding to it for the last couple of
hours. Brian wasnt
ready to be kind.
Im sorry, Justin said
softly. Do you think we
should try to talk to all those people?
What the fuck
for? So they can hurt us some
more?
Justin was
surprised. It wasnt often
that Brian admitted to being hurt.
I thought we might be able to fix things, a
bit.
Justin, you do what you want, but Im
not into mending fences with that bunch of
assholes. I say, stay away from
them, the farther the better.
I dont
know. Id like better
relationships with my dad and your boss.
I dont like it when people hate me.
I say fuck em!
All
right. Ill leave it for
now.
Good.
Did you say something about tension relief?
Yes, Brian, Justin said, running
his thumb over Brians luscious bottom lip.
Brian kissed Justin, sticking his tongue
down the boys throat. Justin
moaned that lovely throaty sound Brian loved to
hear. He tugged Justins
T-shirt up and over his head. He
tugged on Justins nipple ring with his
teeth. Justin
groaned.
Maybe I can get rid of this headache,
and make him forget about those assholes hes worrying about,
Brian thought. He gave his attention
to the other nipple.
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Justin made no further reference to the people
who hated them. Brian was grateful
for that. He didnt want
to think about that pack of shits, and he sure didnt want Justin dwelling
on all the bad things that had happened to them.
For the next week things seemed to be
normal. Brian and Justin went
to work and to school, ate dinner together most nights, went to Babylon a
couple of times and had the usual quota of
sex. Justin never brought up the subject of their enemies,
and that caused Brian a nagging worry.
It wasnt like Justin to give up so easily.
One night as Brian arrived home in the Jeep,
he saw Justin racing down the street.
Before Brian could call to him, Justin flew into the apartment
building. Brian parked the Jeep,
wondering what was going on. He
made his way up to the loft and found Justin frantically making
dinner.
Youre early, Justin said,
looking worried. I thought
Id have this ready when you got home.
Im not starving, Brian
said. I saw you running
down the street. Why the
hurry?
I wanted to have dinner ready for
you.
You dont have to do
that. Why were you
late?
I ... had a project to
finish. Brian noted the
hesitation, and wondered why Justin was lying to him.
Oh, Brian
said. Ill get changed
and give you a hand.
Thanks, Justin
replied.
That was the first
lie. There were more to
come.
The next day Justin wasnt there when
Brian arrived from work. Brian
changed and ordered take-out, expecting Justin to come home at any
minute. By 9:30 Brian had picked
at the take-out, downed several beers, and was beginning to worry about
Justins continued absence.
A little after ten the loft door opened and
a tired looking Justin walked in.
Hey, Brian
said. Where have you
been?
Umm ... working on my
project.
Another lie, Brian
thought. You look
tired. Theres some take-out
in the fridge, he said to Justin.
Im not
hungry. That made
Brians radar blink.
Is something
wrong?
No ... Im just
tired.
Lie number two, Brian counted
to himself. Whats
going on, Justin? Brian asked.
Nothing.
Ive just been busy.
Im going to take a shower and go to
bed.
Ill join you, Brian said,
turning off the computer.
Justin hesitated for a fraction of a second,
then his sunshine smile sort of appeared, and he said,
Sure.
Brian heard the little voice in his head
whisper a warning, but he didnt want to listen to
it.
He followed Justin into the shower and began
soaping the boys back. He
felt Justin lean back against him, and he wrapped his arms around Justins
chest. The warm water poured
over them, but he felt Justin shiver.
Whats going on? he whispered
in Justins ear.
He felt Justin
stiffen. The boy turned around
and kissed Brian, hard. He reached
down and grabbed Brians growing erection.
Lets go to bed, he said,
stepping out of the shower. Brian
looked at him, and followed. They
quickly dried each other off, rubbing and kissing strategic
areas. By the time they were
dry, they were both ready. Once
on the bed, Brian quickly entered Justin from behind, as they spooned
together. He sensed that Justin didnt want to look at him
right now. He made slow, delicious
love to Justin, hoping to make his lover feel
better. He knew something was
wrong, and if this couldnt solve it, it might help on some
level.
When they both came, Brian held Justin tight
against his chest, his back still to
Brian. Brian could feel
Justins heart pounding from their exertions, but then the boy
sighed.
Brian had to ask again, Justin, tell
me whats wrong.
Justin squirmed around to face
him. He plastered his best sunshine
smile on his face, and said, That was nice,
Brian. Nothings
wrong. Brian saw no smile in Justins
eyes.
A huge yawn came
next. Nothings
wrong.
Really.
Brian wasnt sure if he should pursue
it further, but Justin decided that for him by turning over, closing his
eyes and giving every appearance of falling
asleep. Brian looked at him
intently, tempted to call him on his fake sleep, but decided against
it. He snuggled closer to Justin making sure one arm draped
protectively over the boy. Before
long they both actually were asleep.
In the morning Brian tried once more to get
Justin to talk, while they shaved. Justin brushed off Brians questions, saying he had
this big project due soon, and had been working long hours on
it. Thats why he was so
tired. Brian thought his lover
still looked tired, although they had both slept pretty
well.
Not getting anywhere with his inquiries,
Brian determined to use other methods to find out what was going
on. He dropped Justin at the
IFA, called Cynthia to tell her hed be late, and headed for the comic
book store.
Michael was happy to see
him. Brian got right to the
point. Have you and Justin
been working on Rage lately?
Not too
much.
Why?
Theres something going on and
he wont talk to me about it.
Not another Ethan
thing?
I dont think
so.
Good, Michael said, looking
relieved. One of those
incidents was more than enough.
Have you noticed anything out of the
ordinary with him?
Michael thought for a
moment. A couple of days
ago, when I went by the apartment after I closed the store, Justin was there
with Emmett. He looked upset,
but he said he was delivering some Rage drawings.
He sort of threw them at me
and took off. I thought it was
strange that hed take the drawings to the apartment, instead of the
store. Im hardly ever
there.
He seemed upset? Brian asked,
picking up on that one remark of Michaels.
Yeah.
Edgy, kind of agitated.
Did he say
anything?
Not about
that. Maybe Emmett would know
more. They were talking seriously
when I got there.
Thanks,
Mikey. If you see Justin, try
to find out whatever you can.
Sure.
Do you think its something serious?
I wish I
knew. I fucking hate it when
he gets quiet like this. Im
going to get to the bottom of whatevers going
on.
Good luck, Michael said, as Brian
closed the door behind him.
Brian went to work, but had a lot of trouble
concentrating. His mind kept
creating various scenarios of what might be wrong with
Justin. They ran the gamut from
trivial problems like trouble at work to life shattering events like a fatal
illness. His brain gave him
no peace.
He called Emmett and asked him to meet him
at Woodys after work. Emmett
tried to get out of it, but Brian persisted, and finally Emmett
agreed. He knows
something, Brian thought when he hung up.
Brian arrived at Woodys before
Emmett. He better show
up, Brian thought, as he ordered a beer and found a quiet
table. About ten minutes later
Emmett arrived, not looking thrilled to see Brian.
Hoping Id leave, if you were
late? Brian asked.
Of course not, Emmett replied,
but the look on his face said that that was exactly what he had
hoped.
Brian wasnt sure about how to approach
the subject of Justin, so he decided head-on would be
best. Michael tells me
you and Justin have been having clandestine
meetings.
Emmett visibly
cringed. Nothings
going on, Brian, he said, hoping his voice didnt sound too
scared.
And I say something is going on, and youre going to tell me.
I cant, Emmett said, looking
pathetic.
Oh, yes you
can. Spill! Brian
ordered. He saw Emmetts
back straighten. Oh,
oh, he thought.
Hes not going to tell me.
I promised Justin to keep his confidence,
and youre not going to bully it out of
me! Emmett started to
get up.
Brian grabbed his
arm.
Wait! Please.
He decided to take a different
tack. Im worried
about him. Hes not sick,
is he, or in some kind of trouble?
Emmett softened a little at Brians
genuine concern. No,
hes not sick or in trouble.
Can you give me a
hint? I want to help
him.
Emmett seemed to be weighing his
options. After a minute of
dithering, he said, You could talk to his
father.
His
father?
Emmett nodded.
Talk to his father about
what?
I cant say any more, Emmett
said, standing up.
His father wont talk to me,
Brian pleaded.
Emmett merely shrugged and
left.
Brian remained at Woodys for another
hour. He ordered several double
Beams, trying to decide what to do.
He was sure this had something to do with Justins worry about
people hating him. Why did it
matter? Brians philosophy
consisted of fuck em and forget em, but he had learned with
Franks help that Justins psyche didnt work that
way. He wanted to connect with
people. He wanted to be
liked. He wanted to be
loved.
Brian came to the conclusion that Justin
must have made contact with his father
again. It would stand to reason
that he would go first to the most important person to him on that
list. He wondered how Craig
Taylor had reacted. By
Justins recent mood, he didnt think Craig had responded well
to Justins overtures. He
wondered what Craig had said or done to Justin.
It couldnt be
good. When would Justin learn
to forget about bigoted assholes like his
father? The answer was never,
because Justin lived in hope that he could make things
better. All that that hope would
get him would be heartache.
Justin would be willing to take far too much
shit to get back in his fathers good
graces. Brian decided he would
have to talk to Craig Taylor. He
didnt like the way Justin had been acting, lying to him, and growing
small and closed in front of his eyes.
He knew his father must be the source of these
changes. He also didnt
like Justins occasional sunshine facade that he knew hid something
much darker. That really scared
him.
Brian dialed information and got Craigs
number and address.
Now what do I do? he mumbled
to himself. He didnt think
Craig would talk to him on the phone.
Hed just hang up. He
probably wouldnt let him into his
home. Maybe he should go to
Craigs office, tomorrow.
Brian finally headed
home. He hoped to find the old
Justin there, and make a meeting with shithead Craig Taylor
unnecessary. Justin had dinner
ready, but said very little. He used his sunshine facade when Brian asked
him a direct question, but otherwise he was closed and
silent. His eyes told the story,
empty and weary. Brian had to
try once more.
So what have you been up to lately?
Brian asked.
Justin gave a weak, fake
smile. Nothing
much. Working on my
project.
Hows it
going?
All right.
Whats it
about?
Umm ... oh, just a
painting.
A lie, Brian
thought. Doesnt
it have a theme?
Oh ... yeah ... well,
no. Its anything we want
to do.
Lie number
two. Shall we try for three?
Brian thought. So whats
yours about?
Umm ...
abstract. Nothing
special.
Dont you have an underlying idea,
even if its abstract?
Whats with the fucking
inquisition? Since when do you
care what my works about?
Justins eyes flared.
At least thats honest.
Brian thought. Im
interested in what you do. My
investment, you know, Brian said, trying to get Justin to
smile.
Instead, Justin
grimaced. Yeah ... your
investment. Not worth much these
days.
What?
Nothing.
Forget it. Justin
stood up and started clearing the table.
Will you fucking tell me whats
going on? Brian couldnt
stand it any longer.
Brian saw the sunshine facade go up
again. Nothings
wrong, Justin said in a flat
voice. Lets go to
Babylon.
You want to go to Babylon? Brian
asked, startled by this abrupt change in direction.
Sure, or we could fuck, Justin
replied, blank eyes staring out at him.
Whatever, Brian said, turning
away from the look of those eyes.
So which do you want to do?
You decide.
Babylon, Justin
chose.
So they went to Babylon, and Justin danced
himself to exhaustion. When
they finally returned to the loft, Justin took off his clothes and immediately
got into bed. Brian wanted to
fuck, but not this shell of the Justin he loved.
Arent you going to take a
shower? Brian asked.
Too tired, Justin mumbled, half
asleep.
Brian crawled into bed beside
him. He could smell the sweat
of other men Justin had danced with.
He put his hand on the boys shoulder and felt it shift
away. Brian closed his eyes
and tried to swallow the feeling of dread rising from the pit of his
stomach.
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Brian got off the
elevator. He saw Craig
Taylors firm straight ahead.
He took a deep breath, thinking of the sad, tired boy he had dropped
off at school. He could do this,
for Justin.
The secretary buzzed Craig and announced
Brian. He heard Craig say that
he wasnt in to Mr. Kinney.
Brian glanced around and saw a door with Craigs name on
it. He walked over and opened
it to stare into the face of Craig Taylor.
The secretary was behind Brian, trying to
tell him that he couldnt go in
there. He heard her ask Craig
if she should call security. He
said no and motioned her away. She
shut the door, leaving them alone.
Brian stared at
Craig. He looked ten years older
than the last time Brian had seen him.
He seemed tired out and worn.
What the fuck do you want, Kinney?
Craig asked, acid dripping from his tongue,
Now that he was face to face with Justins
father, Brian wasnt sure what to say to this man that he
detested. Its about
Justin, he finally managed to say.
I dont want to discuss anything
about Justin, especially with you.
Well, youre going
to! I want some
answers.
To what? Craig
asked.
I know hes been to see
you. What did you say to
him?
Thats none of your damn
business!
Brian noted that he didnt deny that
hed seen Justin. He must
be on the right track.
Justin is my business, Brian stated.
Since you corrupted
him! Craig glared at
Brian.
Brian felt his hand become a fist, and willed
himself to stay calm. He needed
information. Did you hurt
him? Brian asked.
Why dont you talk to your fuck
buddy? Is that the right
term? Ask Justin, Craig
sneered.
Hes not talking these days, and
for Justin thats not good. I
think youre the cause.
Just because hes smart enough
to shut you out, doesnt mean that I had anything to do with
it.
I dont want to spar with
you. I want to know whats
wrong with Justin.
Theres nothing wrong with him,
except for his perverted lifestyle with you.
Is that what youve been telling
him?
Ive just told him a few truths,
thats all.
Now were getting somewhere,
Brian thought. He said to Craig,
What truths?
That hes ruined his life, that
his family wants nothing to do with him and his perversion, that youre
the root of this evil, that hes going to die alone and sad when
youre finished with him.
Craig looked exhausted from his tirade, but he had barely uttered
the last word when Brian had him by the collar of his
shirt.
I ought to beat the shit out of you,
but its clear you dont know what the fuck youre talking
about! Youre not worth
going to jail for! Brian
pushed him back into his chair, and turned to leave.
Craigs words stopped
him. I know what Im
talking about and so does Justin.
He believes me. Hell
grow to detest you, if he doesnt already.
What are you talking
about?
How long did you think he would stay
infatuated with an arrogant son of a bitch like
you?
Infatuated?
I think Justin has begun to realize
how youve used him. Stolen
his youth and his innocence.
You bastard!
Truth hurts, doesnt
it? Theres nothing wrong
with Justin. Hes just
looking at you through clearer eyes, and hes turning away from your
corrupting influence. Hes
turning back to his true family.
Brian stared at
Craig. Had this man been able
to convince his son that he didnt love Brian, and that Brian was merely
using him?
Youre a sick son of a bitch!
Brian said, his hand on the doorknob.
That makes two of us then, Craig
shot back, as Brian slammed the door and headed for the
elevator.
Brian felt eyes staring at him, as he waited
for the elevator. Thankfully
it arrived quickly and was empty. Brian leaned against the wall, feeling like Craig had
kicked him in the ribs all over again.
If this man who he hated intensely could upset him this much, what
must he have done to the son who loved
him? Brian needed to talk to
Justin right away.
He called Cynthia and told her he wasnt
coming in. He tried Justins
cell, but it was switched off. He
must be in class. He headed
for the IFA anyway, hoping he could find Justin
somehow. As he walked toward
the administration building, he saw a group of people leaving what he assumed
was a lecture hall. There was
a familiar blond head among them.
Justin, he
called.
The blond head turned in his direction, and
a weary and sad looking face registered
shock. Then, almost instantly,
the sunshine facade went up, and Justin left the group, heading in his
direction.
What are you doing here? Justin
asked. Nothings
happened, has it? He looked
worried.
We need to
talk.
Cant this wait till
tonight? I have
classes.
No, it
cant. Ive just been
to see your father.
What?
Why? Is he all
right? Brian saw the facade
slip away, to be replaced by fear.
I wanted some answers that you wouldnt give me.
What did he tell you?
Not
much.
Enough. Lets go,
Brian said, taking Justin by the arm.
Where are we
going?
To the
loft. Its freezing out
here.
Dont you have to go to
work?
Not
today. Come
on.
Justin looked like hed rather be eating
rat poison than going with Brian, but he followed him to the
Jeep.
Neither said anything more on the ride to
the loft. Justin glanced furtively
at Brian, knowing the man was hurt and
angry. He wondered how much
his father had told him. Brian
could feel Justin gauging his temper.
He looked at him a couple of times and noted the same worn out look
on Justins face that he had seen on
Craigs. What were they
doing to each other?
Brian slammed the loft
door. Justin went over to the
couch and sat down. Brian took
off his coat and joined him.
I know youve been seeing your
father, Brian said.
Is that because of the list of people who hate
us?
It started with
that.
Started?
I went to see my dad to try and ...
make things better.
So what
happened?
Justin looked sad, but didnt
answer.
Brian decided to take the bull by the
horns. He told me that
he had shown you some truths, that you now know Im using you, and that
youll die alone after I leave you.
Hes the one who is
dying.
What?
Brian wasnt sure hed heard correctly.
He has colon cancer, Justin said,
staring at the floor.
He does?
Yeah.
He found out a couple of weeks ago, just before I went to see
him. Hes been having chemo
and is scheduled for surgery in two weeks.
Do they think hell be all
right?
Maybe, but theres no
guarantee. He could
die.
Im sorry, but why didnt
you tell me?
You didnt want me to see him,
and he didnt want anybody to know.
So I kept it to myself.
I was really
worried. You seemed so
withdrawn. I couldnt stand
it.
I didnt mean to upset
anyone.
But youre
upset. Thats been obvious
for days.
Im all
right.
No.
Youre not.
Youve lied to me, pretended to be okay, and day by day youve
moved farther and farther away from me.
What has your father done to you?
He needs me right
now. Hes scared and Im
scared for him.
But what about this bullshit of me using you and leaving you to die alone?
Hes just lashing
out. He asked me to leave you
and stay with him until he gets through this
surgery. I told him I
couldnt, but Ive been trying to spend as much time with him as
I can.
That doesnt answer my
question.
He hates that Im gay, so when
Im with him he tries to convince me that youve perverted and
corrupted me. He thinks if I
get away from you, Ill return to the Justin he knew ... and
loved.
Thats fucking
crazy! How can you listen to
that?
He needs me right now, even though
its tearing me apart, Justin said
sadly. Its a small
price to pay if it helps him get through this.
Its not such a small price,
Justin. Youre not eating
properly and you look worn out.
This needs to stop.
I
cant. I can bear it until
he gets through the surgery.
Its only a couple of weeks.
Thats two weeks too
long. Hes not really
convincing you to leave me, is he?
Justin touched Brians cheek
tenderly. Of course
not, he said.
Ill be all right.
Well be all right. I
have to do this.
Brian shook his
head. He didnt think Justin
really understood what was happening.
His father had already pulled a part of Justin away from him, the
happy sunshine part. He was
afraid that Craig would continue to force a wedge between them, despite
Justins best intentions.
Brian had just felt the force of Craigs
words. How long could Justin
listen to that without being destroyed?
I really think you should stay away
from him, Brian said softly.
I
cant.
I know, Brian conceded, and took
Justin into his arms.
He ran his hands over Justins body
and face, trying to find and recapture the Justin he loved, trying to erase
the sham Justin he had lived with for the last many
days. They kissed long and
deeply. Brian wanted to show
Justin that he loved him and would be there for
him. Justin wanted to show Brian
that he loved him, and no words from his father would change
that.
Brian took his hand and led him to the
bedroom. They slowly undressed
each other, kissing deeply and exploring
lovingly. After much tenderness
and caressing, Brian slipped on a condom and claimed Justin as his
own. As they rocked together, heading toward that blissful
moment of total union and ultimate oblivion, they held on tight, not knowing
what might lay ahead. They both
knew deep down that Craig had already separated them, and they hoped this
would put them together again.
When they each came, within seconds of each other, they had tears
in their eyes and love in their hearts.
They held each other, not speaking for a
few minutes.
You should take more days off work,
Mr. Kinney, Justin whispered.
Afternoon delight, Brian replied,
smiling.
What?
Theres an old song called
Afternoon Delight. I
always forget how young you are.
Justin smiled back and it was the real Justin
this time. Am I your afternoon
delight?
For today, Brian said, hugging
him.
Just today?
And every day for the rest of our
lives.
Oh, Brian.
Brian saw the tears welling
up. Sunshine, I know you
want your fathers love, and you want to help him, but do you think
this is the best way to go about it?
I have to do this,
Brian. He could be gone soon,
and Id always regret it, if I didnt help
him.
Okay, Brian said gently, but
dont let him tear us apart.
I wont, and now that you know
whats going on, you can help me.
Help
you?
How? Bring him candy
and flowers in the hospital?
I dont mean that, Justin
said, giving Brian a gentle swat.
I want to have you here when I come home, to know that I can
talk to you, that you love me.
I
do. I always
will.
See, thats helped
already. Well get through
this, and hopefully my father will too.
At that moment Brian wished he could be as
forgiving as Justin, but life had taught him that leopards didnt change
their spots. He still detested
Craig Taylor, and he didnt think that would ever change, neither would
Craigs feelings about Brian and
homosexuality. He hoped for
Justins sake that his father pulled through, but personally he thought
the asshole deserved whatever happened to him.
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
The two weeks leading up to Craigs
surgery were difficult for both of them. Brian did his best to be supportive, but he saw how
Justins visits with his father ate away at the
boy. Justin did his best to
remain positive that he was helping his
father. He found it wearing
to listen to one diatribe after another, mostly against Brian, but also against
the whole gay lifestyle. Justin
kept his mouth shut, but he felt his anger building against his father and
his bigoted views. Some days
he felt like he was being ripped apart.
Craig finally told Jennifer about his illness
a few days before his surgery. He
didnt want her pity, and had sworn Justin to
secrecy. As a result Justin
had stayed away from his mother, afraid that he might inadvertently reveal
his fathers secret. Once
Jennifer knew, she came to the support of her son and
ex-husband. She offered to visit him and look after him as he got
ready for surgery. She even
insisted that he come to her place following the surgery to
recuperate. Brian knew that it was from Jennifer that Justin got his
forgiving and gentle nature. He
was very impressed with mother and son.
On the day of the surgery Brian agreed to
go to the hospital with Justin. He felt the boys fear, and knew that Justin needed
him there. He stayed in the
waiting room with Molly while Justin and Jennifer went up to see Craig before
they took him into surgery.
Molly was wary of
Brian. She sat across the room
from him, and he would catch her continually glancing at him.
It was beginning to get on
Brians nerves.
Would you like a soda, Molly?
Brian asked, heading in the direction of the coffee
machine. He didnt want
the shit that came out of these machines, but he had to do
something.
Molly shook her head.
Brian got his coffee and sat down beside
the little girl.
She looked at Brian and asked, Why
are you here? My dad doesnt
like you.
It was on the tip of Brians tongue
to say that he didnt like her father either, but he bit that back and
said, Justin needs me.
Oh, she said, processing
that.
Are you scared? Brian
asked.
Kind
of. I dont know whats
going to happen.
Thats the hard
part. Not
knowing.
Yeah, Molly
agreed. She was surprised that
Brian was treating her in such a grown-up manner, not telling her everything
would be fine, when he couldnt possibly know
that. She hadnt had a
lot of contact with Brian, and she knew her father didnt want her
to. When there was a party and
Gus was there, she sometimes got invited with her
mother. Gus was a cute baby, and Brian had always been nice to
her, although he never said very much.
Do you think hell be all
right? she asked.
I dont know,
Molly. Well have to wait
and see.
Do you pray?
No.
Ive been praying for my father
to be all right.
Im sure that will help,
Brian said, understanding that she wanted to be able to do something for
her father.
Would you say a prayer for him?
she asked.
Brian didnt know what to
say. He didnt believe
in God and he hated Craigs guts, but how could he refuse this
child. I dont know
how to pray, he said lamely.
Molly took his
hand. Close your eyes,
she said, and Brian did.
God, please help my daddy get through this operation, and make
him be all right. Amen, she ended.
Amen, said
Brian.
That was how Justin and Jennifer found them,
holding hands. Justin leaned
in and kissed Brians cheek. Im glad youre here, he
said. Theyve taken
him to surgery.
And now we wait, Jennifer
said.
The surgery took three
hours. Finally the doctor appeared
and called Justin and Jennifer over.
They listened intently, and when they turned around, Brian knew from
their smiles that it had gone well.
So did Molly who flung her arms around Brians
neck. Brian hugged her back,
and she whispered in his ear, I bet your prayer
helped.
Sure, said
Brian. He got up once she released
him. She was immediately replaced
by Justin.
They think they got it all, he
said. He came through
the surgery just fine.
Thats good, Brian said.
What happens
now?
Hell be in the hospital for a
few days, and then hell go to moms for a couple of weeks till
hes back on his feet.
I cant believe Jennifer is going
to nurse him, Brian said, shaking his head.
Hell need
help. He cant be on his
own.
You Taylors never cease to amaze
me.
Justin smiled his true
smile. Hell be in
recovery for a while and back in his room later
tonight. We cant do anything
till then. Want to go home for
a bit?
Sure, said Brian, noting the
look in Justins eyes.
Mom, were
going. Ill see you here
tonight.
Okay,
honey. Thanks for being here
for your father despite everything, Jennifer said, giving him a
hug. Thanks for coming,
Brian. It meant a lot to
Justin. She gave Brian
a hug too.
Bye, Brian, Molly
said.
What about me? Justin asked,
hugging her. Brian saw Molly
whisper something in Justins ear.
Justin turned with a smile, took Brians
hand and they left.
In the Jeep Justin asked, You dont
have to go back to work this afternoon, do you?
No.
I took the day off. Why?
We could have some ... Afternoon
Delight, Justin said, giving Brian a wicked smile.
I like the sound of
that.
I thought you
might.
At the loft they quickly got rid of their
clothes and dove into the bed. They kissed and groped and rubbed, finding it hard to
get enough of each other. Brian
gave Justin the longest and most intense blowjob hed ever
had.
Afterwards, still panting, Justin said,
That was fucking unbelievable!
How do you keep topping yourself?
Brian
snorted. Im very
talented and speaking of topping ...
You mean it? You want me to?
Brian sucked in his bottom lip and
grinned.
Justin started with Brians mouth and
worked his way down. When he
finally entered Brian, they were both so
ready. The intensity of the
feelings was almost too much.
After the torment of the last few weeks, this was what they both
needed. Justin was in control,
and he needed that. Brian felt like he had his boy back, the real Justin,
not the fragile shell he had been living with lately.
Their orgasms were intense, but the feelings
between them were even stronger.
They clung to each other.
Thank you, Justin
said.
What
for? I should be thanking
you.
Justin
giggled. It was good,
wasnt it? Youve
taught me well.
You learn quickly, Brian replied,
giving him a kiss.
Im glad my dad will be
okay.
I know.
Molly told me what you did.
What? Brian asked, afraid that
Molly had given him up.
She said you prayed for dad with her.
Brian sucked in his lips and looked
away.
Its okay to pray, Justin
said.
I dont believe in
that.
But Molly does and you helped
her. Who knows, maybe it did
do some good. Dads going
to be okay. A prayer from the
notorious non-believer might have carried some
weight.
Brian
snorted. I did it for
Molly, not your father.
I know.
Can we talk about something
else? Brian
asked.
Im ready for some more afternoon
delight. How about
you?
You bet! Brian said, rolling
over on top of him. It was good
to have his Justin back.