Standing in the Light

Chapter 2

Emmett watched the children in their playroom. He had finished his filing and tidying up. He had been manning the desk in the foyer at Safe Haven but since there wasn't much action there, he had decided to check out the playroom. He could stand in the doorway and still keep an eye on the front entrance.

It was Emmett's third time volunteering and he was there unexpectedly on a Saturday morning. Some other volunteer had cancelled and Emmett had agreed to fill in. He had a Sunday party this week, instead of a Saturday one so he could do his preparations later in the day.

"Mister," a voice said. He felt a tug on his jeans.

"Yes," he said looking down. "You can call me Emmett. It's Joey, isn't it?" When he first arrived Emmett had met the little boy who sported the remnants of a black eye and a cast on his left arm

The boy nodded. "Do you want to come draw with me and Cheryl?"

"I'm not much of an artist," Emmett said with a smile. "But my friend Justin is a real artist."

"He is?" Joey's eyes had gotten really big.

"Yep, he goes to PIFA."

"What's that?

"It's Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Art."

"Wow," Joey reacted. He wasn't sure what the name meant but it sounded very impressive to his ears.

"Maybe I could bring Justin to visit some day and you two could talk about art."

"Really?"

"Really," Emmett said hoping Justin would be agreeable to coming to Safe Haven with him.

"When?"

"I don't know," Emmett admitted. "I'd have to talk to Justin."

Joey stared up at this man. He wondered if he could trust him, or if he was like so many other adults who said things they didn't mean.

"What?" Emmett asked slightly unnerved by the boy's look.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise to try."

"Okay," Joey said slowly. He'd wait and see. He went back to the table where he and Cheryl had been drawing. He glanced back at Emmett who was watching him. Emmett smiled one of his goofy smiles and Joey couldn't help but smile back.

Emmett heard someone in the foyer and he turned around.

"Jason," he called, "where are you going?" Emmett had also met Jason his first day at Safe Haven and everyday after. Blanche had explained that Jason would be leaving soon due to his age. It seemed that Jason wasn't very happy about going, and he had taken to sneaking out and getting into trouble to show his resentment.

"Out," Jason said not halting his movement towards the front door.

"You know you've been grounded since you got caught shoplifting."

"Fuck off!"

"Jason," Emmett said in his best stern voice.

"You can't tell me what to do," Jason spat out turning to face Emmett.

"You're right, I can't, but I can tell Blanche that you're sneaking out and maybe they can arrange for you to go to your new place a little earlier … like today," Emmett threatened. He didn't know if that was even a possibility but he had to say something to stop the kid from leaving.

"You can't do that," Jason said defiantly.

"Try me." Jason hesitated and Emmett noted the flicker of doubt. "Why don't you come over here and talk to me about what's bothering you?" Emmett asked hoping to distract the kid from getting into greater difficulty. Maybe he could find out what was making him so troubled.

"What the fuck for? You can't do anything about it. You're just a volunteer."

Emmett could hear all of the disdain that Jason heaped on the word volunteer. "How do you know I can't do anything if you don't tell me what the problem is?"

Jason looked at Emmett and then at the door. For a fleeting second Emmett was afraid Jason was going to run. If he did, Emmett wasn't sure what he should do. He didn't know if he should chase the kid. He might be able to catch him. His legs were longer. He could call for Blanche who was upstairs somewhere.

Suddenly Jason took a step towards Emmett. "I guess I could talk to you," he said looking Emmett up and down. "Are you gay?" he asked bluntly.

"Why yes, I am," Emmett said with a laugh. "What gave me away?"

"Your laugh and your clothes and the way you talk."

"I've never tried to hide who or what I am," Emmett said in his usual straightforward manner.

Jason looked at him assessing if he could believe Emmett and how much he might want to tell him. "I think … I think … I might be gay too," Jason whispered.

"What?" Emmett said blown away. That was about the last thing he had expected to hear. "What makes you think so?"

"I don't like girls," Jason said.

"I'm gay and I love girls. They can be really sweet and kind."

"They can?" Jason asked. "I bet you love everybody."

"Well, pretty much. I mean, why not? Where does hating people and not giving them a chance get you?"

"It can stop you from getting hurt."

Emmett thought about that. All these kids had been abused by the adults in their lives. "It can also stop anybody from loving you and helping you to have a better, happier life."

"Like that's going to happen for me," Jason snorted.

"Hasn't your life here been pretty good?"

"Yeah," Jason admitted slowly, "but now they're kicking me out."

"I heard you would be leaving in about a month."

"Some birthday present!" Emmett could hear the pain in the boy's voice.

"What do you mean - birthday present?"

"I turn fourteen and they kick me out."

"Is that a rule here?" Jason nodded. "I see. But couldn't you look at it as moving on to the next phase of your life?"

"I don't want to leave Andrew."

"Who's Andrew?" Emmett asked.

"He's the one who started this place. He brought me here when I was only six. I love him."

Emmett took a breath. He wasn't sure what he was dealing with. Was Jason saying he had a gay crush on this Andrew or was he bemoaning the loss of a significant adult in his life? "You … you love him?" Emmett stammered.

"You should know about that. You're gay?"

"How old is this Andrew?"

"I don't know. Old."

"Too old for you?"

"Who says?"

"It was just a question."

"Blanche says he's coming to talk to me this week. I know he's going to tell me that I'm too young for him and that I'll be fine at the Red Wheel group home and that I'm just a kid and I don't know what love is." Emmett could see the tears Jason was fighting to hold back.

"Does Andrew know you love him?"

"I told him."

"You did? When?"

"A few months ago. Andrew's gay too."

"How do you know?"

"Everybody knows."

"I didn't," Emmett protested. He hadn't even met this Andrew.

"He told me that I was too young and that he already had someone else. I've hardly talked to him since, and now I have to go away. I'll never see him again."

Emmett pulled the teen to his chest and hugged him tight. Surprisingly the boy let him do it. Emmett could feel him gulp for air as the tears were allowed to flow. He thought back to his first crush on a guy. He remembered how hard it could be and held Jason a little tighter. "It'll be all right," he whispered against the boy's hair. "It will work out." He had no idea whether it would work out or not, but it seemed like the right thing to say. Emmett vowed to speak to this Andrew before Jason had to leave Safe Haven.

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The next time Emmett went to volunteer at Safe Haven he had Justin in tow. Emmett had switched his morning volunteer time to an afternoon when he had no work to do for his business and when Justin got out of class just after one o'clock. They had met for lunch at the diner and had then made their way over to Safe Haven. Justin was planning a little art lesson for Joey and Cheryl. He thought he might show them some of his less explicit Rage pictures and talk to them about cartooning. He knew he would play it by ear and see what they wanted to do, but that was his backup plan if they weren't interested in doing anything else.

Emmett showed Justin the playroom and the table where Joey and Cheryl usually drew. He told Justin that they should be coming in from school pretty soon.

Emmett excused himself and went to look for Blanche. He had told her that he wanted to speak to Andrew, but Blanche had refused to give Emmett his telephone number. She said she would talk to Andrew the next time he came to Safe Haven and let Emmett know what he said about a meeting. Apparently it was not Mr. High and Mighty Andrew Patrick's policy to talk to the volunteers. Emmett was ready to give this arrogant bastard a piece of his mind.

After Emmett disappeared Justin looked around a bit. As he was returning to the table where he had laid out some of his things, he heard the door open and the sound of young voices.

"Hey, who are you?" a young boy asked. "That's our table." He looked up at Justin defiantly.

"Then you must be Joey. Hi, I'm Justin," Justin said holding out his hand.

Joey frowned for a moment and then shook the offered hand vigorously. "You're Emmett's friend - a real artist?" Joey said with something akin to awe in his voice.

Justin smiled. "I hear you're an artist too."

Joey beamed at him. "I draw," he said simply.

"And you must be Cheryl," Justin said looking at the little girl who seemed to be quite shy. "Emmett asked me to bring some of my artwork to show you guys. I'd like to see some of yours too."

They all sat down at the table. Justin showed them one of his sketchbooks carefully skipping over nude pictures of Brian. He showed them some of Gus and Lindsay and Daphne. He looked for one of Brian, but he always seemed to be nude in every sketch. He'd have to find a headshot of Brian to bring if he came there again.

He pulled out the Rage sketches that he thought were appropriate for the youngsters and they looked them over, very impressed that Justin had made an actual comic book.

"Rage kind of looks like Andrew," Joey observed.

"He does? Who's Andrew?"

"My friend."

"I guess Rage looks like a lot of people, especially the ones who help and protect us."

Joey nodded. "Want to see one of my drawings of Andrew?" he asked.

"Sure."

Joey went to a plastic container on a shelf and carried it back to the table. Justin could see that it contained crayons and paper. He vowed to get a real sketchbook and some proper pencils for the little boy.

"That's Andrew," Joey stated holding a sheet of binder paper out to Justin.

Justin looked at the crayon drawing. He could see that Andrew seemed to be tall and slim and wore a suit. He had dark hair and very strange eyes. He couldn't really see the resemblance to Rage, but he could see the potential in the drawing. Joey just might have some real talent.

"That's very good, Joey," Justin said. "You have talent."

"I have lots more pictures of Andrew," Joey said hauling out a stack of binder paper.

Each sheet contained a drawing of the same man. Justin could see the progression as the pictures near the bottom were cruder and obviously earlier. Joey seemed to be honing his skills.

"Your work is improving all the time," Justin said. "Do you want me to show you some tricks when you are drawing bodies?"

Both children nodded and Justin started his impromptu lesson on how the head of a figure was one seventh the size of the body. He had them rip up paper in the right proportions starting with the head which determined the size of everything else. They then assembled a paper doll type body. They made action figures with the ripped pieces having the figure skate or dance or crawl. The children laughed and enjoyed themselves. Soon other children were watching and Justin got some of them to join in too.

Suddenly a bell rang.

"What's that?" Justin asked.

"Fifteen minutes till dinner time," Joey said. "We have to go get washed up."

"Then don't let me keep you. Artists need their sustenance."

Joey looked at Justin and smiled. "Thanks for coming today, Justin. We had fun." Cheryl nodded her head in agreement and so did several other of the children.

"I had fun too," Justin said with a laugh. "Make sure you put all your stuff away," he said gathering up his own belongings. He noted that each child had a plastic tub to keep their playroom things in.

"Thanks," Joey said as he put his tub on the shelf. He turned and gave Justin a big hug.

"Would you like me to come again some time?" Justin asked.

"Would you?" Joey asked his eyes getting big.

"I'll see what I can do."

Joey and Cheryl waved goodbye and followed the other children out to get ready for dinner.

Once they were gone Emmett appeared in the doorway. "Ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah, that was fun, but it's tiring dealing with a roomful of youngsters."

"Can you imagine what teachers have to put up with every day?"

"I can't even begin to know," Justin said as they headed out.

"Did you find out anything from Blanche?"

"She hasn't told Andrew that I want to speak to him. Apparently they don't contact him unless there's an emergency. So I have to wait until he deigns to show up here."

"That seems like a strange arrangement," Justin said frowning. "Joey has a whole stack of drawings of Andrew. Apparently he makes quite an impression on his young charges."

"Yeah," Emmett agreed thinking of Jason. He had not told Justin why he needed to speak to Andrew.

"Joey's a sweet little boy, and his friend Cheryl didn't say a word. I told Joey that I would try to come again. I'd like to get him a real sketchbook and some pencils. He has some talent."

"That's great, Justin," Emmett said hugging his friend in appreciation for giving his time and talent to Safe Haven.

"Maybe I should officially volunteer," Justin said thoughtfully.

"That would be great," Emmett gushed giving Justin a huge smile. "Maybe you could talk Brian into volunteering too."

"When pigs fly," Justin said with a wry smile.

"Yeah, right. What was I thinking?" Emmett agreed as they caught their bus.

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Justin ran up the steps to the loft. "Are you home, Brian?" Justin called as he pulled the loft door back.

"I'm right here," Brian said from the computer desk. Justin nearly jumped out of his skin. "What's got you all hot and bothered?"

"I went with Emm today to Safe Haven," Justin said happily. "There are some great kids there. I showed them how to make paper figures."

"Did you now?" Brian said slowly. "Want me to order some take-out?"

"Um, sure."

"What would you like?"

"Surprise me. Did you hear what I said about Safe Haven?"

Brian nodded and picked up the phone. He hit the speed dial for his favorite Thai restaurant. Having placed the order he said, "Want a beer while we wait?"

Justin nodded. Brian brought over two beers and they sat on the sofa.

"I really enjoyed working with the kids at Safe Haven," Justin said taking a long drink from his beer, "but it's exhausting with a whole bunch of them asking questions and wanting your attention."

"How many were you working with?" Brian asked.

"I went to help a little boy named Joey who Emmett had told me about. The kid hasn't had any training in art, but he draws all the time and seems to have some real talent."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, and he's a sweet little boy. His friend Cheryl is very nice too, but awfully quiet. I don't think she said one word the whole time I was there. Joey does all the talking for both of them."

Brian snorted. "Um, isn't it usually the women who do all the talking?"

"Not in this case. Anyway after a while several more kids started watching us and wanted to join in. It was fun," Justin said happily.

"I'm glad you had a good day," Brian said giving Justin a kiss on the cheek. He liked to see his partner happy.

"Emmett says I could probably volunteer on a regular basis."

"You don't really have time, do you? You're still catching up at PIFA."

"I know, but I thought I could make some time and do some sort of art program with the kids there."

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Brian said bluntly.

"Why not?" Justin said testily. "Just because you don't believe in helping out in the community, doesn't mean I can't."

Brian felt a little jolt of hurt. How quickly the Concerned Citizens for the Truth had been forgotten! "I didn't say you couldn't volunteer," Brian said carefully. "I just said it didn't sound like a good idea with your schedule."

"Well, I'm going to do it," Justin said positively.

Brian shrugged. "Suit yourself."

"I will. You know … Emmett suggested that maybe you could volunteer too."

"Did he now?"

"Yep, and I think that would be a great idea," Justin said in a coaxing voice and flashing one of his best smiles.

"I think I need to have a chat with one Emmett Honeycutt," Brian said with a frown.

Just then the buzzer rang indicating that their food had arrived. Brian went to answer it glad that the train of their conversation had been momentarily derailed.

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