Resist

Part 4

Justin awoke with a start. Something heavy was draped all over him. Shit! Brian Kinney. He groaned. He had let the Irishman stay all night, broken the cardinal rule of tricking.

He looked down at the sleeping face beside him. The man was beautiful and the sex had been great. Maybe letting Brian stay wasn't such a bad thing. His hand reached out involuntarily and he found himself caressing the cheek of this man. He wanted to hug Brian close and never let him go. Fuck! He was turning into a lezzy, or worse yet a fucking breeder. Had he learned nothing from past mistakes?

He shoved Brian rudely away and the man groaned as he began to come out of a deep sleep. Those fabulous eyes fluttered once or twice and then looked up at him.

"Morning," Brian said sleepily.

"Time for you to go," Justin said abruptly throwing back the sheet and getting out of bed.

"Hunh?"

"You heard me. Get up. Get out."

"Why? What's wrong? I thought maybe we could … you know." Brian smiled his goofy grin.

Justin felt his cock start to stiffen. Christ! This guy had an immediate effect on him. A smile, a look, a stupid proposition and he was jello. He better get this Irishman out of here right now before it was too late, if it wasn't too late already. "I said for you to get out! Right now!" Justin spit out between gritted teeth. "Or are you too much of a big, fucking, dumb Irishman to understand what that means?"

"But…" Brian began, bewildered by the change in Justin. Where was the kind, sweet, compassionate man from last night?

"I said to get up and get the fuck out!" Justin punctuated each word.

Brian stared at Justin, grabbed his jeans from the floor and started pulling them on, wincing a bit at the pain in his ass. He didn't believe this was happening. Last night had been the best night of his life. He thought it had been for Justin too. He had certainly acted like that. He pulled his t-shirt over his head and looked at Justin who stared out the window of his room. He had wanted this man more than anything last night, more than all his fears, more than all his bad memories, more than he could resist. Could he have been so wrong? He had to try once more.

"Justin," he said softly. He saw Justin's shoulders stiffen as he refused to turn away from the window to look at him. "Can I see you again?"

"You're looking at me right now, aren't you?" Justin demanded with as much sarcasm as he could muster.

"I mean again … like tonight and the night after and…"

"No," Justin cut him off.

"Next weekend?" Brian said hopefully. He knew he was begging but he couldn't stop himself.

"No."

"I…"

"Go … now."

Brian had a sinking feeling that this was hopeless. Something had changed, changed drastically, since last night. He took a deep breath and turned the doorknob. He allowed himself one more glance at Justin's rigid back framed in the window.

"Justin," he whispered and heard the plea in his voice.

"Leave," Justin spat out incapable of more than a one syllable word.

Brian felt the implied slap ricochet through his body. He turned and slipped out quietly shutting the door behind him. In the hallway he leaned back against the door, now on the outside, away from the man who had broken through his resistance, who had made him feel such passion and joy, who had claimed him. Tears began their slide down his cheeks. He swiped at them with the back of his hand and finally made his way to the stairs.

Justin heard the click of the door as it closed behind Brian. He let his shoulders drop and all the strength went out of him. He swayed a little bit and clutched at the window sill for support. That was just about the hardest thing he had ever done. He wanted Brian Kinney like nothing he had ever wanted before, and the funny thing was that he had already had him. That should have been enough. But it wasn't. He knew, though, that this was for the best. Better the hurt now than the lingering hurt and betrayal that would develop later. He couldn't stand that again. A tear worked its way down his cheek and he wiped it away with the back of his hand.

-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----

"Hi, Lindsay. Glad you could meet me," Daphne said as Lindsay slid into the chair next to hers in Starbucks.

"I was thinking about calling you, when out of the blue, you called me."

Daphne's eyebrows went up in surprise. "Why were you going to call me?" She and Lindsay were friends, sort of. She was Justin's friend and Lindsay was Justin's friend, so they knew each other, but not really well. They had never had coffee before, like this, without Justin.

"I'm worried about Justin … and about Brian," Lindsay said.

"Do you think they did it?" Daphne whispered leaning in closer to Lindsay.

Lindsay nodded. "I'm almost positive they did, but neither will talk about it and they're both miserable."

Daphne frowned. "I wonder what happened."

"I don't know but I intend to find out. They belong together. I can just feel it."

"I think you're right, but maybe it didn't go so well when they fucked," Daphne said looking a little embarrassed.

"Or it went too well."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm wondering if they were so great together that it scared the shit out of both of them," Lindsay explained.

"Ooh, I never thought of that," Daphne said with a grin. "But if that was true, I bet it was Justin who cut it off, who pushed Brian away. You know how hard-hearted he can be. I tried to warn Brian that first night."

"They're both so pig-headed."

"I know. There are times I'd like to ring golden boy's neck."

"And Irish there has a stubborn streak a mile wide. He won't talk to me."

"Then how are we going to fix this if we can't get them to talk?" Daphne asked.

"I've always found liquor helps to loosen lips."

"You mean get them drunk?"

"Yeah, and then pry the information out of them."

"Together or separately?"

"I doubt if we could get both of them in the same room the way they've been behaving. So, you'll have to work on Justin and I'll tackle Brian."

"Do you think we can do this?"

"We have to," Lindsay declared. "I'm sick of their sad faces and lack of communication. It takes all the fun out of university seeing them mope around. Hell, I feel like they're sucking all the fun out of the fucking universe. They're driving me nuts."

"So how are we going to do this?" Daphne asked.

"I'm taking Brian out to dinner. He won't want to go but I'm telling him that this is the anniversary of when I broke up with my last boyfriend and I don't want to be alone. I'll say I've already made reservations at a nice restaurant and I can't go alone. Besides, he's always up for a free meal."

"I could tell Justin something similar. I bet he'd feel sorry for me and come with me," Daphne said with a smile. The plan was already forming in her head. "So, we ply them with liquor at dinner and then take them back to our rooms and feed them some more to drink. When they're sloshed we force the information out of them."

"Exactly."

"I can do that."

"Good, and then we get together once we know what's going on and figure out what to do about it."

"Deal," Daphne said extending her hand for Lindsay to shake. They smiled at each other having found something concrete to do about the plight of their friends.

-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----

"Here, have another one," Daphne said filling Justin's glass with scotch.

"Thanks," Justin said taking a sip. He knew he was drunk but he didn't care. If he got fucking shitface drunk, he could blot out the image of those eyes, those fucking golden eyes. He took another drink.

"So what have you been up to these days?"

"Same old, same old," Justin responded slurring his words a little.

"We're making progress," Daphne thought as she pretended to sip on her own drink while she refilled Justin's glass. "A different guy every night?"

"Yeah."

"You don't seem very happy about it."

"I'm just great, fabulous even," Justin replied downing his glass of liquor.

"So why do I see so little of you. We never seem to talk anymore."

"Talking now, aren't we? Too busy fucking," Justin mumbled.

Daphne decided she better slow down feeding him drinks or he might pass out on her and then she wouldn't be able to get the information she needed.

"Seen anything of Lindsay and Brian lately?" she asked innocently and watched him cringe. Something had definitely happened. "Justin?"

"Hmm."

"I asked you a question … Brian?"

"Had him. Over."

"Over? Didn't you like him?"

"No."

"I find that hard to believe. He's gorgeous."

"Gorgeous. Just like all the rest."

"How do you know that?"

"Experience."

"But maybe he could be different, could be the one."

"No." Justin reached for the bottle of scotch. With shaking hands he poured himself another drink and downed it. "Tired," he said rubbing his face.

"Lie down and talk to me. Tell me all about Brian."

Justin slid down on the bed and Daphne angled his head onto her lap.

"Nothing to tell about Brian. Gone."

"Why?"

"Made him go. Couldn't take the chance."

"Chance of what?" Daphne felt Justin's shoulders start to shake. Was he crying? Jesus, she hadn't bargained on this. "Justin. Tell me what's wrong?"

"He'd be just like Chad and Tad. I can't love him, won't love him. Can't be hurt like that again."

"How do you know Brian would hurt you?"

"They all do."

"But, this could be different."

"No."

"Do you want it to be different?"

A whispered "yes" escaped Justin's lips just before he fell asleep in her lap.

-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----

Lindsay got the new bottle of vodka out of the cupboard. She had no idea how much liquor Brian could hold. It must be that Irish heritage. They had had two bottles of wine at dinner. Brian drank most of it. He had polished off half a bottle of scotch since they got back to her room, and now the vodka. Brian seemed a little shakier than early on, slurred his words a bit, so the liquor must be having some effect. But mostly he just seemed unhappy.

She poured him a glass of the vodka and handed it to him. He made a face.

"I'm not much of a one for vodka (he pronounced it wodka with his silly grin)," he stated and then downed most of it. "But … any port in a storm as they say," he added as an afterthought.

"Is there a storm?" she asked seemingly innocently.

"You could say that."

"Could I?"

"Fishing expedition, Miss Lindsay?" he asked giving her a knowing look.

"You could say that," she replied using his own words back at him.

"No fish around here."

"I think there are."

"What are you getting at?" he asked knowing that she was trying to pry information out of him, and knowing that he really wanted someone's shoulder to cry on. Well, maybe to lean on. Well, maybe to have a sympathetic ear. Shit, shoulders didn't have ears. He giggled slightly at his unspoken joke and then fell silent. He was pathetic. He took another shot of the vodka.

"You have been miserable all this week. I want to know what's wrong."

"And what good will it do for me to tell you?"

"I could help."

"Doubt it."

"You'll never know unless you tell me."

Brian sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose. He knew this was opening a whole can of worms and he also knew that he was going to tell her. Right after this next drink. He downed it slowly.

"Justin's miserable too," she said softly hoping that would push Brian to spill his guts.

"He is?" Brian asked looking up at her with puppy dog eyes. Then they clouded over and he stared defiantly. "What's he got to be miserable about?"

"I was hoping you could tell me that," Lindsay said.

"We fooked."

"You fucked and then what?"

"Then nothing. He told me to get out."

"He did? Why?"

"That's what I don't understand. I thought he liked me. We…" Brian couldn't finish that statement. There was no 'we'.

"I think he does like you."

Brian shook his head. "He was … cruel. He wanted me gone." Brian downed another drink.

"Do you like him?"

"I did. I wanted to, but he doesn't want me."

Brian sounded like someone who had had his heart stomped into the ground. He took another drink. Lindsay had learned most of what she wanted to know. It was time to cut off the liquor. They had been sitting on the edge of her bed in her dorm room. Lindsay scooted up and leaned against the pillows.

"Come here," she said softly patting her lap.

"You're not going to have your way with me again, are you?" Brian asked.

"No, sweetie. Don't worry."

Brian leaned back onto the bed pulling his long legs up and laying his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair and he let out a long sigh.

"Hurts," he whispered, and she knew he wasn't talking about her fingers in his hair. He was talking about Justin.

"I know."

She continued to comb her fingers through his hair hoping to soothe him. Soon his even breathing indicated that he was asleep.

-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----

Lindsay and Daphne met for coffee the next morning. They had arranged this time to discuss what each had found out. They had left their hung-over charges to sleep it off in their beds.

"I don't know what the fuck they did to each other, but Brian is hurt … really bad," Lindsay said as she sipped her latte.

"Justin isn't much better off, although he's the one who pushed Brian away," Daphne said taking a drink of her coffee.

"They're both so miserable."

"Justin's afraid Brian will turn out to be another Chad or Tad."

"He has picked some real losers, hasn't he?" Lindsay said knowing Justin's history of getting hurt.

"Yeah, those two bastards couldn't just tell him it was over. Both of them dumped him and then rubbed his face in it. No wonder he's afraid to trust Brian."

"I don't think Brian would ever do anything like that to Justin."

"I don't either, but unfortunately what we think doesn't matter. It's Justin's opinion that counts."

"So how do we change that opinion?"

"Do you think Brian really wants Justin?" Daphne asked.

"Oh yeah. I think he was totally bewildered as to why Justin kicked him out."

"I think Justin has real feelings for Brian too, but he's afraid to let them take over."

"Is there any point of tricking them into a meeting?" Lindsay asked trying to come up with an idea to get her friends together.

"I doubt it. The state Justin's in he would just tell Brian to fuck off."

"And Brian doesn't need to be hurt again. There's something kind of fragile about him. Maybe something bad happened to him back in Ireland, like what happened to Justin."

"Whatever it is, they won't talk to each other. They're too scared and too bull headed."

"So what can we do?" Lindsay asked.

"Well," Daphne began. She had given this a lot of thought. "When Justin and I were at St. James there was this boy that I really liked. He wouldn't give me the time of day. So, I joined every club he belonged to, got him as a partner for every project that I could wangle, and was in his face all the time. Finally he asked me out."

"And what happened?" Lindsay wanted to know.

"We dated like three times until I realized he was a big jerk and dumped him."

"And the point of this story would be…?"

"That Brian should get in Justin's face, make sure that he's always around when Justin's there. If he wants Brian as badly as I think he does, he won't be able to fight it."

"Why does Brian have to do that? What about Justin?"

"Justin will never admit that he wants Brian. He's trying to forget him. We just can't let him do that."

"But Brian doesn't want to get hurt again," Lindsay said shaking her head. "How are we going to get him to be everywhere Justin is?"

"We could trick him."

Lindsay chuckled. "I may call Brian a big, dumb Irishman, but he's not really stupid."

"I didn't say he was, but think about it. What if we could get them to be in the same place at the same time? I was wondering about taking Justin to the bookstore with me, but I need to know Brian's schedule, so I can be sure he's there."

"I can get that for you."

"And what if you invite Brian for a drink or something and I'll arrive with Justin."

"That would work." Lindsay looked thoughtful. "Oh, oh, oh, I just had the perfect idea," she said.

"What?"

"Brian's been looking for another job. The life drawing class that Justin and I are in needs models. A naked Brian would be hard to resist."

"Shit! Is it too late for me to sign up for that class?" Daphne giggled.

"I think so, but can you imagine Justin's reaction having to stand there and draw naked Brian for an hour?"

"He'll be jerking off for hours afterwards," Daphne giggled. "Do you think Brian would do it though? Being naked in front of people isn't everybody's cup of tea."

"I think I can talk him into it, even if I have to sweeten his paycheck with a little money of my own."

"You are a devious one, Miss Thing."

"You got that right."

"I do want them both to be happy," Daphne said seriously. "Do you think we're doing the right thing?"

"Better than letting them wallow in their own misery."

"Okay, I'm in."

"Then let the games begin!" Lindsay said as they got up to set their plans in motion.

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