A Present

**************************************

 

For a few days Brian lived by Justin’s terms.  He would pick Justin up every day after work.  They would eat dinner, talk and fuck, or fuck, eat dinner and talk, or cook, eat dinner, talk and fuck.  There were a lot of variations they came up with.

 

However, it always ended the same way with Brian driving Justin back to Debbie’s before 2 am.  He would drop Justin off around the corner from Deb’s, because they still hadn’t told anyone they were back together.

 

Brian had started to get calls from Michael, wanting to know where he was and why he never came to Woody’s or Babylon.  He hadn’t answered the calls, but he knew he was going to have to.

 

He decided he had to tell Justin that this had to stop.  He was just about talked out.  It had never come easy to him to talk, and he found it wearing to be constantly discussing personal things.  Besides, he was glad that he had Justin back, and he wanted everyone to know.  He also wanted Justin in his bed all night every night, and there when he woke up in the morning.

 

When he picked Justin up after work, he decided to broach the subject.  "Justin, I want you to stay all night tonight,” Brian said.

 

“Okay.”

 

“What?  You’re not going to say no and lecture me about taking it slow?”

 

“No.”

 

“What’s going on?” Brian asked, puzzled.

 

“I think it’s time we told everybody and I moved back into the loft.”

 

“I was going to tell you the same thing.”

 

“See, we’re back in sync.”

 

“I guess so!”

 

Justin never failed to amaze him.

 

**************************************

 

Justin cooked pasta with shrimp, and they tried to figure out the best way to handle the announcement that they were back together.  They decided a brunch on Sunday morning would be the best idea.  Casual, but they could probably get everyone there, and they would have tomorrow to get ready for it.

 

Brian would tell everyone he had been very busy at work.  He wanted to celebrate being made partner, and was sorry he had seen so little of them lately.  Justin wouldn’t be there when they all arrived.  He would pick up his mother and Molly and bring them a bit later.  Then everyone would know.

 

Brian said, "You're almost as clever at staging these extravaganzas as I am.”

 

Justin glowered at him.  “No more ‘Rage’ parties, please.  One of those in a lifetime is enough.”

 

“I shouldn’t have brought that up.”

 

“It’s okay to talk about it.  I just don’t ever want to do it again.”

 

“Are we all set for the brunch?  You can help me get everything ready, then take the Jeep to get Molly and your mother.  We better start making some phone calls.  Call Deb and tell her you won’t be there tonight.”

 

“Already done.”

 

“You little shit!”  Brian pretended he was going to strangle him.  “You’re such a smartass.”

 

“I thought my ass had other attributes than smart.”

 

“It does, and I intend to explore them all, right after I get these phone calls made.”

 

**************************************

 

They spent several hours making out and having fantastic sex.  They were both happy not to have to stop and go to Deb’s.  Brian was true to his word, and tried out all aspects of Justin’s ass.  He even let Justin top him, needing to have Justin be part of him in every possible way.

 

When they were finally exhausted, Justin curled up against Brian.  If he had been a cat, he would have purred.  Everything was so perfect.

 

After a few minutes he said, “Brian, I’m scared.”

 

“What?  Why?”

 

“Everything’s so great.  It must mean something bad is going to happen.”

 

“Don’t think like that.”

 

“I can’t help it.”

 

“Nothing bad’s going to happen.  We deserve some happiness, after all that we’ve been through.”

 

“Do you think so?”

 

“I know so.”

 

“I hope you’re right.”

 

He hugged Brian and snuggled down to sleep.

 

**************************************

 

Saturday was spent getting ready for the brunch, shopping, cleaning, rearranging furniture.  While Justin was working in the kitchen, he looked up to note that Brian had disappeared.

 

“Brian?” Justin called.

 

“In here,” said Brian from the bedroom.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Come in here for a minute, please.”

 

Justin heard something strange in Brian’s voice.  He stopped what he was doing, and went up the steps to the bedroom.  That little voice of fear echoed in his head.

 

Brian was sitting on the side of the bed, holding something in his hand.  He didn’t look at Justin as he came up beside him.

 

“What’s wrong?” Justin asked.

 

“Sit down for a minute.”

 

“Brian, you’re scaring me.  You’re not changing your mind about us?  You’re not going to send me away, are you?  I knew something bad was going to happen.”

 

“Shut up,” and Brian smothered his mouth with a kiss.

 

Justin looked at Brian.

 

“What’s going on?” he asked again.

 

“Just be quiet, and let me talk for once.”

 

“Okaaaay.”

 

“I’m going to give you something.  I'm not exactly sure what it means, but I want you to have it.  Don’t read more into it than there is.  Take it, think about it, and we’ll talk about it.  Don’t say anything right away.  Can you do that?”

 

“I guess so.”

 

Brian handed Justin a little, black jewelry box, the one he had kept in the drawer by the bed for several weeks.  Justin opened it slowly.  Inside was a small golden sun hanging on a gold chain.  Justin tried not to gasp.  He carefully lifted it out of the box.  As he held it up and it dangled on the chain, he saw some words on the back.  He turned the little sun over.  Inscribed on the back was “My Only Sunshine”.

 

Justin fought back tears.  Brian was staring intently at him.  Justin didn’t know what to do.  He clasped the pendant tightly in his hand.

 

He just sat there for a couple of minutes.  He didn’t seem to be able to look at Brian.

 

Finally Brian couldn’t stand it any longer, and he asked, “Aren’t you going to say something?”

 

“You told me not to.”

 

“Since when have you started listening to me?”

 

“Since you seem so serious.”

 

“Tell me what you think.”

 

“I love it,” he said.

 

Brian smiled.

 

“Can I put it on?”

 

Brian nodded.  As Justin struggled with the clasp, Brian took it from him, and put it around his neck.

 

“I’m shaking,” said Justin.

 

“I can feel that.”

 

“Hold me.”

 

Brian wrapped his arms around Justin and held on tight.

 

“Why?" he heard Justin whisper.

 

“When I first heard ‘You Are My Sunshine’, I had a jeweler make it for me.  I vowed that someday, when I had you back, I’d give it to you.  I almost gave up on us a couple of times, but now I can carry out my vow.  I always keep my promises, even to myself.”

 

“Am I really your only sunshine?”

 

Brian nodded.

 

“I was scared when you called me up here, but this is the best.  You’ve made me so happy.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“I’ll always be your only sunshine.”

 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

 

“I’ll keep it, or die trying.”

 

“Don’t do that.  I was afraid you’d make promises beyond what is possible, and you’d expect impossible promises from me in return.  It’s just a pendant.”

 

“No, it’s not.  I’ll stop with the promises, but I’m not going to let you claim it means nothing.  If it really meant nothing, you wouldn’t care what I said.  You’re afraid I’m going to expect commitments you can’t make.”

 

Brian tilted his head in agreement.

 

“I won’t.  I’m so happy you did this.  Everything you can’t say aloud is captured on the pendant.  I understand and I love you.”

 

**************************************

 

The rest of the preparations for the brunch were completed by dinnertime.  There was some pasta left from the day before, so they sat on the stools at the counter and ate in silence.  Things had been a little awkward between them since the pendant.  Brian noticed that Justin couldn’t keep his hands off the little sun, touching it and spinning it on its chain.  They were tired from their preparations and ate listlessly.  Brian kept feeling Justin staring at him, but whenever he would look up, Justin would look away.

 

'I think I made a mistake giving him the pendant,' Brian thought.  'It feels like it has changed something.  I promised I would give it to him, but I was afraid he’d read too much into it.  Shit!  Why does everything have to be so complicated?  It’s just a fucking pendant!'

 

“Brian.”

 

“What?”

 

“You’re shutting me out.”

 

“And you’re pestering me.”

 

“What?  I’ve hardly spoken to you all afternoon.”

 

“I know, and it’s very annoying.”

 

“Christ, I can’t win!  If I talk, it bothers you.  If I’m quiet, it’s annoying.  What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

 

“I don’t know, but I hate this.”

 

Brian got up from his stool and grabbed his jacket.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Out.”

 

“Brian, don’t do this.  Don’t walk out.  We’ve made so much progress.  Don’t ruin it.”

 

“Fucking ‘work in progress’!” Brian yelled.  “I can’t deal with this right now.”

 

Brian slammed the loft door as hard as he could.  He was glad Justin was on the other side of that door, because he wanted to wring his neck.

 

“He’s ruined everything,” Brian mumbled, and ran down the stairs to the Jeep.

 

**************************************

 

An hour later Brian walked into the baths.  He had driven around for a while until his anger lessened a bit, but he knew he wasn’t ready to face Justin.

 

As he walked through the hallway, he looked in each cubicle.

 

'Maybe a good, hard, anonymous fuck will put me in a better frame of mind,' Brian thought.

 

He stopped outside a cubicle.  Inside he saw a slender young man, ass sticking up in the air, just screaming, ‘Fuck me!  Fuck me!’ as Emmett would say.

 

Brian decided he would be happy to oblige.  He stepped inside and closed the door.

 

“I’m going to fuck you until your teeth rattle in your head.”

 

“Good!” was the only reply.

 

Brian quickly slipped on a condom and some lube.

 

“Do I need to get you ready?” Brian asked.

 

“Don’t bother.  I want it hard and dirty,” the man replied.

 

“Okay, you asked for it.”

 

Brian positioned his cock at the man’s hole, and pushed forward.  The man grunted.

 

“All right?” Brian asked.  He didn’t want to rip the man open.  He didn’t know how well-endowed Brian was.

 

“Bring it on!” the man commanded.

 

Brian grinned, his primal predator smile.  This was going to be one interesting fuck.

 

He plunged the rest of the way in.

 

“Aaahhh!” the man yelled, but bucked back to meet Brian at the same time.

 

“Fuck.  This guy’s crazy,” Brian thought.

 

He pulled back till only the tip of his cock was imbedded in the man.  Then he gave a strong thrust, burying his cock up to the hilt.

 

“So good,” the man gasped.

 

“Want some more?” Brian asked.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Brian rammed in again and again.  The man responded to each thrust, his ass begging for more.  Brian had worked up quite a sweat by this time, but the man showed no signs of tiring.

 

Brian reached under the man and pulled on his cock.  At the same time he raised the man’s ass a little and repositioned it so he could hit his prostate with each thrust.

 

“Shit,” he heard the man say.  “More!”

 

Brian was happy to oblige.  He slammed into the man over and over.

 

“Harder,” the man demanded.

 

Brian pounded harder and faster, wondering how much longer he could keep this up.

 

“I’m almost there,” the man finally gasped.

 

“Good,” said Brian, and continued his frantic pace.

 

“Ohhh.  Fuck!  Fuck!” the man yelled, blowing his load.  His hole constricted around Brian’s penis, and Brian started to shoot, in a seemingly endless orgasm.

 

The next thing he knew, he was laying on top of the man, stars sparkling behind his eyelids.  He opened his eyes and saw a blond head beneath him.

 

“That was one fuck of a wild ride!” Brian said.

 

“Christ, yes!” the man replied.  “I think I blacked out for a minute.”

 

“Me too,” Brian said.  “Don’t move.  I’m still inside you.”  He carefully pulled his penis out and took off the condom, throwing it into a can against the wall.  He looked carefully at the man’s ass in the dim light.  “I don’t think I tore anything down there,” he said.

 

“That’s good,” and the man rolled over.

 

“Dick!” Brian said, shocked to recognize Dick Dingly, his trick from a couple of weeks ago.

 

“Brian,” Dick replied.  “I should have known.  I haven’t had a decent fuck since I was at your place.”

 

Brian laughed.  “You just got one now.”

 

“And how!  It’s a wonder I didn’t realize it was you.  Most guys are far too timid.  They don’t believe I really mean faster and harder, when I say so.”

 

“I had trouble believing it myself, although, if I had known it was you ...”

 

Dick chuckled.  “Don’t tell me you could have done better than that, or I’ll make you prove it.”

 

“I don’t think I could right now.  My dick needs some rest and TLC after that workout.”

 

“So does my ass,” Dick said, exploring it gently with his fingers.  “Why didn’t you call me?  I’m a much more reliable fuck than prowling the baths.”

 

“You’re a great fuck!  I just didn’t want any complications from seeing you again.  I only fuck guys once.”

 

“Oh,” said Dick, “but you just did me again.”

 

“By accident,” Brian stated.

 

“That was no accident!  You were very purposeful, and I might say, masterful.”

 

“You know what I mean, but thanks for the compliment.”

 

“You earned it.  It’s not easy being a demanding bottom.  I have a lot of trouble finding someone to satisfy me.”

 

“You don’t have to tell me that.  I was barely hanging on at the end.”

 

“But that’s what’s great about you.  You made sure to wait till I came.  Most tops are only interested in getting their own rocks off.  They don’t care about the bottom.”

 

Brian looked at him quizzically.  “Most people call me a selfish bastard,” he said.

 

“Well, you’re not a selfish lover, if I may call you that.  Plus, you’re easy on the eyes, have great stamina and a kick-ass cock.”

 

Brian laughed out loud.  “Dick, you are full of shit, but I could listen to you all day.  Want to get out of here, and get a drink somewhere.”

 

“Sure! Let’s blow this pop stand,” said Dick good-humoredly.

 

**************************************

 

They walked a couple of blocks and found a likely looking bar.  Over beers, Brian asked Dick about himself.

 

“Not much to tell,” Dick said.  “I’m a teacher, middle school, no family, one or two bad relationships over the years.”

 

“Teacher?” Brian asked.  “I would have never guessed.”

 

“Funny, huh?  I teach history.  Love it, and I seem to be able to make kids love it too.”

 

“Aren’t you worried about getting caught in the baths?” Brian asked.  “That would cost you your job.”

 

“Nope.  I’m a fatalist.  If that’s what’s meant to happen, then it will, one way or another.  I refuse to live my life in fear.  I do what I want to do.”

 

“I’ll drink to that,” Brian said, clinking beer bottles with Dick.

 

“What about you?” Dick asked.

 

“Ad exec.  Unfortunately I have a mother and sister.  And I’m sort of in a ... relationship,” Brian added.

 

“And you don’t want to talk about any of it, do you?” Dick asked.

 

“No.  I mean ... no,” Brian said, looking rather forlorn.

 

“Meaning you do,” Dick pressed.

 

“I don’t know.  I guess so. Shit!  Life’s a crock sometimes!”

 

“Explain.”

 

“This guy I’m with.  He’s moving in with me.  I gave him something today that ...”

 

“He thinks means a lot more than you intended it to?”

 

“I’m not sure what I intended, but things got really awkward.  I had to get out of there, and I ended up at the baths.”

 

“With me.  Fated to happen, Brian.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I’ve been there, done that in a relationship.  I’m going to give you some advice, which I don’t usually do.  Go home and talk to him.”

 

“Fuck!  That’s what he wants all the time.  Talk, talk, talk.  I’m not a talker.”

 

“I am, and I know the value of talking things out.”

 

“Smart bastard, aren’t you?”

 

“Smart enough.  Go home. Talk to him.  And Brian, if you ever want to bend my ear, or fuck my ass, I’m available.”

 

“Thanks, Dick.  I have enjoyed talking to you, and I really enjoyed fucking you.”  They both smiled.  “I guess I have to go home sometime, so it might as well be now.”

 

“Good luck,” Dick said, as Brian walked away.

 

**************************************

 

When Brian slid back the door to the loft, he didn’t know what to expect.  It was almost midnight.  Most of the lights were off, but he could see the blue neons in the bedroom.

 

“Justin?” he said tentatively.

 

“Did you finally decide to come back?” a voice said from the bedroom.

 

“Yeah. I’m here.”

 

“Whoopee,” Justin said with as much disdain as he could muster.

 

“Cut the sarcasm,” Brian said.  “We need to talk.”

 

“It only took you four hours to figure that out.”

 

“I had to get away from you, and do some thinking.”

 

“And some booze and some drugs and some tricks?”

 

“Are you trying to piss me off even more?” Brian yelled.

 

“I don’t have to try.  It just happens.”

 

Brian could hear the exasperation in Justin’s voice.

 

“Fuck!  Is it going to be like this all the time?  Cause I can’t fucking stand it!”

 

“I told you I wasn’t going to take your shit and say nothing, and I meant it.  You walked out on me without an explanation, just like you used to.  I thought we had got past that, but I guess I was fooling myself.”

 

“I said ‘Work in Progress’,” Brian conceded, backing down a little.  “I couldn’t stand you staring at me and waiting for me to say something I’m not prepared to say.  It was just a pendant.”

 

“Oh, fuck off, Brian!  You know that’s not true, so stop lying to me and yourself.”

 

The silence echoed off the walls of the loft.  Brian had made it about halfway across to the bedroom.  He didn’t really want to see Justin’s face.  He turned, went over to the couch and slumped down on it.  His head pounded and he felt sick to his stomach.

 

He waited.

 

He expected Justin to come out of the bedroom, but he didn’t.

 

He waited some more, feeling even sicker.

 

Justin stayed put in the bedroom.

 

Brian knew he had to do something.  He had wanted Justin back so badly, and now that he had him, he was destroying it all.

 

He pushed himself up from the couch.  It took almost all the energy he had left to go up the steps to the bedroom.  Justin sat under the neons, wearing his sweats, and looking so pale.  His face seemed to be in torment.  Brian couldn’t stand that look on his face.  He thought his heart would break.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said wearily, breaking another one of his rules.

 

“So am I,” Justin managed to choke out.

 

Brian grabbed him, and pulled him into a tight embrace.  Justin didn’t struggle, as Brian had expected and feared.  He fell against Brian’s chest, and Brian could feel the sobs, even though no sound came out.

 

“Justin.  Stop.  Please.  You’re breaking my heart.”

 

“I ... I ... I can’t,” Justin stuttered between sobs.

 

“It’ll be all right.  We’ll work something out.”

 

Brian held him gently, rubbing his back until the sobs lessened.

 

“We’ve ruined everything,” Justin managed to say.  “I knew something bad was going to happen.”

 

“So it did.  But I’m still here, and so are you.  We can work this out.”

 

“Do you want the pendant back?”

 

“No.  Of course not.  I want you to have it.”

 

“But I don’t want it, if it causes us pain like this.”

 

“I never meant for it to do that.”

 

“I know, but I don’t think we’re ready to deal with this yet.  I’m going to give it back to you to keep until you’re ready to define what it means.”  Justin held out his hand, the pendant nestled in his palm.

 

“I don’t want it back.  It’s for you.”  Brian pushed Justin’s hand back, and folded his fingers over the pendant.  “What if we put it back in the box, and you keep it safe for a while.  When I know what it means and I can tell you, I’ll put it back around your neck.”

 

Justin looked deep into Brian’s eyes, and nodded.

 

Brian took the box from the bedside table.  Justin carefully laid the pendant inside and closed the lid.  He put the box in the drawer on his side of the bed.

 

“How did something so beautiful cause so much pain?” Justin asked, wiping away tears.

 

“You’ve been right all along.  We need to go slow.  I tried to rush the pendant thing, and I wasn’t ready for the consequences.”

 

“I didn’t think you were going to come back.  Where did you go?”

 

Brian groaned.  He had to tell the truth.  “The baths.”

 

“Fuck anyone interesting?” Justin asked.

 

“As a matter of fact ...”

 

“Christ, Brian!”

 

“Dick made me come home and talk to you.”

 

“A therapist trick!  When did you start remembering tricks’ names?” Justin looked disturbed.

 

“I’ve met Dick before.  We went for a drink after we fucked.”

 

“Brian, are you trying to drive me insane?”

 

“No, I’m just telling you what happened.”

 

“Let me get this straight.  You go to the baths, you fuck a guy named Dick who you’ve met before, you have drinks with him, and he talks you into coming home to me.”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“And this doesn’t seem the least bit strange to you?”

 

“Well, it’s never happened before, I have to admit.  I think we should invite Dick to brunch tomorrow.”

 

“You’re certifiable!”

 

“Probably, but I think you’ll like Dick.  He’s a teacher.”

 

Justin’s mouth hung open in amazement at Brian’s statements.

 

Brian took Justin’s chin gently in his hand and closed his mouth.  He leaned over and kissed Justin tenderly.  To his great relief Justin kissed him back.

 

“Are we all right?” Brian asked.

 

“I’m not sure,” Justin said.  “But I think we should leave it for now.  Can we talk more about it later?”

 

“I think we need to, although I can hardly believe I’m saying that.”

 

Justin put his arms around Brian’s neck and leaned in for another kiss.  “This was almost the shortest reconciliation on record.  Broken up before we even announced we were back together,” Justin said.

 

“But it’s going to work out,” Brian stated.

 

“Right.  It will,” Justin said positively.

 

“Can I fuck you now?”

 

“Wasn’t Dick enough for you?” Justin teased.

 

“You know what I think about enough.”

 

“I’m yours,” Justin said, flopping back on the bed, arms and legs spread wide.

 

“And a tasty morsel you are,” Brian said, and he started to devour Justin’s face, soon to be followed by ...  Oh, you know.