"Brian," Cynthia's voice said as he picked up his phone. "Charles Langdon is here to see you."

"Send him in."

Brian clicked off the program he was using on the computer and turned to look at the door to his office. It opened and Charles walked in.

"Mister Mayor," Charles said deferentially.

"You're very formal today," Brian snorted.

Charles had been the one who had convinced Brian to run for mayor in the first place. Through the turbulent first weeks of Brian's term as mayor, Charles had been a rock. He had advised and mentored and fought for Brian. Brian owed him a lot.

"I think it's time we have a serious talk about your future," Charles said.

"Getting right to the point I see. I thought I told you that I'm not running again."

"You did, but I want you to consider a few things before you make that decision."

"I've already made the decision and there are no considerations that are going to change it."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Charles averred as he took a seat across the desk from Brian.

-----

Brian sat at the table at Pappagano's. He was waiting not so patiently for Justin to arrive. He had asked Justin to meet him there for one of their date nights. Justin had been so happy when Brian had asked. It took so little to make the boy happy, and Brian had to admit he enjoyed date night almost as much as Justin did. It was a chance for them to talk to each other and be alone without the need to be all over each other, which is what always seemed to happen when they were in the loft or almost anywhere else.

Brian's mind couldn't help playing over what Charles had told him earlier that day at his office. He had trouble comprehending what Charles had said. Apparently he and his group who had first sponsored Brian's run for mayor had commissioned a survey about Brian's performance as mayor. The results were somewhat astounding, at least to Brian.

The survey results showed that almost seventy percent of those polled thought Brian had done a good job over his two year term. Over sixty percent said they would support him if he ran again. Those weren't enormous numbers, but it gave Brian a warm feeling that all things considered people seemed to like what he had done as mayor.

The disturbing part of the survey was Charles' reaction to the numbers. He and his group wanted Brian to run again. They didn't think they had a viable candidate to replace him, and were afraid that if Brian didn't run there might be a swing back to the intolerant attitude when Stockwell was running. Brian had made it abundantly clear to the man that he would not run. He had promised Justin that he would go back to advertising and they would lead a normal life. Yet here he was about to broach the subject of another term with his partner, and see what Justin said about the possibility of two more years in public life. He had promised Charles he would consider it and discuss it with Justin, but he had a feeling it just might ruin their date night.

Brian looked up to find Justin standing at his table. He couldn't help but smile. Justin was wearing a gold colored soft wool sweater and black slacks. His smile and hair added to the overall effect that made him appear to be enveloped in a golden glow. Brian felt his breath catch in his throat.

"Hey," he managed to get out as Justin sat down across from him.

"Hey," Justin grinned. He was looking forward to a great dinner and then putting out for the man who had treated him. He loved date night.

"You look … not bad," Brian sputtered. He wanted to say beautiful, but it seemed so lesbianic he couldn't make himself say it, even if that was how he felt.

"Thanks," Justin chuckled knowing Brian was complimenting him and understanding that particular channel of Kinney-speak.

"Want a drink?" Brian asked.

"Some wine," Justin said and Brian proceeded to order a bottle of red.

While they were waiting for the wine to arrive, Brian asked how Justin was making out with his latest project. He knew Justin had been having trouble deciding how to approach the topic of "ambivalence" that was to be the basis of the current project.

"I don't know how you're supposed to fucking depict 'ambivalence'," Justin griped. "It's an idiotic topic for an art assignment. The whole point of art is to make you feel something, grab you in the gut or make you weep or soothe your battered life, not leave you feeling indifferent."

"Hmm," Brian responded. The waiter poured them each some wine. They saluted each other with their glasses and took a drink.

"That 'hmm' sounded like you didn't agree with me," Justin said.

"Art is many things."

"That's so fucking profound, Brian! Do you have any other words of wisdom for me?"

"It's just that art is … many things," Brian repeated. He saw the exasperated look on Justin's face and wished he had kept his mouth shut. Their date hadn't even begun and Justin was already getting mad at him.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Justin demanded.

Brian took a deep breath. In for a penny, in for a pound. He might as well come clean. "I'll explain what I mean if you promise to hear me out and not get mad."

Justin frowned. He should have known there was an ulterior motive to this date. "I don't think I want to hear anything you have to say. In fact I think I've been set up and I'm ready to go home right now."

"Justin…" Brian began and then didn't know how to argue against what Justin had said. He couldn't argue because Justin was right.

"You can't even deny it, can you?" Justin accused him.

"No, I won't lie," Brian almost groaned.

"So I'm right."

"Sort of."

"And what kind of an equivocation is that?"

"I didn't … invite you here to hear this now. I just wanted to have our date."

"So?" Justin prodded when Brian hesitated.

"So you brought up ambivalence and that is exactly what I need to talk to you about. I wasn't going to do it now though."

"Then fucking tell me. You've ruined our evening anyway."

"You'll just get mad and storm out of here or make a public scene."

"I'm fine," Justin said with a steely glare. "Just tell me."

Brian sighed. This was going to be ugly, but there didn't seem to be much he could do about it.

"I had a visit from Charles today," Brian began.

"Shit!" Justin reacted. "And you're going to run again. I should have known how little faith I could put in your promise." Justin pulled his napkin from his lap and tossed it on his plate. He started to get up when Brian grabbed his hand across the table.

"Sit down and fucking listen," Brian said through gritted teeth. "You wanted to hear this, and now you're going to."

Justin sat down slowly. Now it was his turn to listen. He had asked for this and it was up to Brian to say it. "Go ahead," Justin said glaring at Brian.

"Charles told me they don't have a feasible candidate other than me." Brian watched Justin grimace. He might as well tell the boy all the bad stuff right up front. "He does want me to run again. He and his group that backed me had a survey commissioned. More than a majority of those polled would support me if I ran again."

"That's good news … for you," Justin said rather ungraciously. Then he felt compelled to add, "I know you've done a good job as mayor, Brian. That's not the issue."

"Thank you," Brian said staring into Justin's eyes. "I'm glad you think I've done a good job. There were plenty of times when I sure as shit didn't think so."

Justin snorted. "You always do a great job at anything you undertake." Brian raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You know that's true," Justin continued. "You drive yourself to be the best … at everything."

"Including fucking?" Brian grinned.

"That goes without saying," Justin said with a little smile. He couldn't help it even if he was mad at Brian. Thinking about fucking always made him feel good.

"You know, there was a time when I thought that fucking was the only thing I was any good at. Then I got into advertising and I found another area I didn't suck at."

Justin recoiled slightly. He knew that Brian for all his bravado really didn't have the greatest self-esteem. He hadn't meant to take them down this road. "You don't suck at anything," he said firmly, "except my dick most every night."

Brian had to grin at that. "We seem to have gotten off topic. Not that I really mind." He looked at Justin who nodded for him to continue. He took another breath and plowed ahead. "Charles wants me to run again, and gave me lots of reasons that I should."

"And you have decided to do it?" Justin asked as a question even though he was pretty sure that Brian had already made that decision.

"No, I haven't decided," Brian said staring at Justin. "I'll admit he made it sound attractive. There are things I have started as mayor that I would like to see through to fruition." Brian watched the disappointment that swirled across Justin's face as he spoke those words. "But … I told him that I had promised you I wouldn't run again. He still thinks I should, and that's where the ambivalence comes in."

"How so?" Justin asked wanting to see what Brian would say.

"I have to admit that I've enjoyed being mayor for a lot of my term. But, I promised you that we were done with politics. So, I won't run, unless you want me to. But that doesn't mean the idea of winning again doesn't appeal to me."

"So you're saying that you're ambivalent about running."

"Yes."

"Well, at least you're honest about your feelings," Justin said.

"Did you think you would ever be saying that statement about me?" Brian teased.

Justin snorted. "Brian," he said with a serious look on his face. "I don't want to stand in your way if you want to run."

"Does that mean that you would continue to stand beside me?"

"Don't you mean behind you?"

"No, I do not, and you didn't answer my question."

"I don't know, Brian. I'm not sure that I could stand another two years of being the dutiful little political wife."

Brian grimaced. "Christ, that's not what I ever thought."

"Lots of other people did though," Justin said sadly.

"That settles it. I'm not running."

"You mean it?" Justin asked with the beginnings of one his smiles.

"Yes."

"Then I think you're going to really enjoy the end of our date night."

"I am?" Brian asked raising one eyebrow and giving Justin a crooked grin.

"Oh yeah!"

"Can we leave now?"

"Hey, I'm a cheap date, but not that cheap. You have to feed me first."

"And here I thought you were cheap and easy," Brian joked.

"I am, but it's nice to keep you on your toes."

Brian smiled, warm and genuine. He knew that Justin's happiness was far more important than any election. The only validation he needed anymore came from the person sitting across the table from him.

-----

Back in the loft after a dinner that had turned out much better than either of them could have imagined, Brian finished sucking off Justin and plopped down on the bed next to his partner.

"Good?" he asked although he knew his blowjobs were the best on the planet, just slightly better than Justin's and the boy was gaining ground on him quickly.

Justin nodded and mumbled, "Mmmm."

Brian leaned in and kissed Justin on the mouth swirling his tongue around inside as Justin's lips parted at the pressure.

"I love you," Justin whispered, "and I want to fuck you."

Brian snorted. "I don't think so."

"Brian," Justin said with a voice that conveyed disappointment and a tinge of resentment.

"Okay, okay, okay," Brian relented. "You're getting to be very demanding lately."

"I am?"

"Well, I should know," Brian chuckled.

"Roll over."

Brian obediently turned onto his stomach. He was always reluctant to allow this to happen. He was the consummate top, and allowing Justin to assume that role always gave him pause. Somehow though, when it was over, he had enjoyed it and Justin was always so happy. Brian grinned in spite of himself.

He felt Justin's talented tongue licking and probing around his hole. He gasped as it darted in and out. The little shit had learned a lot since their first night together. The tongue delved deeper and Brian felt himself shiver at the sensation. His gut clenched and his cock filled and his heart soared. There was nothing more intimate than this, nothing that required more trust and understanding. He knew he would do anything to make Justin happy and that included abandoning politics.

Brian felt Justin's fingers being added to the mix and he groaned. It wouldn't be long now until Justin claimed him and he knew he would give in when asked and take the pleasure Justin would give in return. They were beyond good together.

Justin's condom clad dick rammed in and Brian clenched the sheets as the pain gradually gave way to a feeling of fullness and completion. Slowly at first Justin began his rhythm bending in to kiss Brian's neck and shoulder. As his speed increased Justin could feel Brian respond and shove back to meet each thrust. A smile played at the corners of his mouth. He knew Brian didn't like to give up control, but he always seemed to enjoy it when he did.

Ambivalent, Justin thought as he thrust home and reached for Brian's cock beneath them. He understood that word so much better now. It was about conflict, about opposing thoughts on the same issue, not about indifference. He should have looked the fucking word up in the dictionary instead of stewing about the wrong interpretation for all this time.

"I love you … so much," Justin gasped as he felt his climax building.

"Now," Brian moaned as Justin stroked him and pounded his ass. Brian came with a shudder that threatened to rip him apart and he felt Justin's cock throb and shoot in his ass.

"That was awesome!" Justin gasped as he rolled off his lover.

"Awesome," Brian agreed as he turned over and looked at Justin's flushed face. "You're quite the brutal little top." His hand brushed the sweaty hair back from Justin's eyes. The blue he saw in those eyes was still dark and rich like it always was when sex was involved.

"Thanks," Justin grinned. He leaned over and kissed Brian. They had come so far since Brian had first decided to run for mayor. He had wondered back then if they would ever be able to be so trusting and caring, but somehow they had managed it. "I like date night a lot," Justin said with a smile.

Brian snorted and then leaned in for another kiss. So did he.

-----

"Come on," Justin said leading Brian along the corridor of PIFA. His hand was firmly holding Brian's and he linked his fingers through those of the older man.

"I'm coming," Brian replied. "What the fuck is the rush?"

"I want you to see this … now!"

"All right, but didn't you say it was going to be in the next show? I could have seen it then."

"Yeah, if important city business doesn't get in the way," Justin griped.

"It's only another few weeks and then I'm finished," Brian defended himself.

"I know, but I want you to see this piece before anybody else. I'm really proud of it, and that's partially due to you."

"Me? What did I do?"

"You know you always inspire me."

"Shit! Is this another portrait of my dick? I do have a public image to uphold."

"Sort of," Justin admitted sheepishly as he unlocked the door of his space in the Fine Arts building.

"Fuck, Justin, you can't show that. Not until I'm done being mayor anyway."

"Just shut up and look at it," Justin ordered flipping the lights on and pulling a cover off his canvas.

Brian stared at the collage in front of him. He could see that the canvas was basically divided into two sections. One seemed peaceful and the other violent. Two opposing views of the world. That came across very strongly. He could see Iraq and the war and death there on the canvas. There were newspaper headlines of death and bombing embedded into the thick paint. Opposite it was a depiction of a military funeral with a flag draped coffin. Those two images were meant to catch your attention first. Then Brian began to look more closely at all the turmoil surrounding those images, and turmoil was the only word to describe it.

He could see lips locked in a kiss and then a mugging on the street, a knife slicing someone open and a hospital with a baby in an incubator. There was a little boy, Gus, with his mother, Lindsay, holding his hand and looking lovingly at him, and opposite a careening car crashing into a bus shelter full of children and adults. Brian wanted to look away, but the images were so powerful that he had to keep looking, had to see what other horrors Justin had included.

As he continued to stare, Brian began to realize that the outer edges of the painting included much gentler opposing views. Winter snowboarding and summer fun on the beach, a snow covered Christmas tree and an uprooted oak wasting away. There was a burning home and a warm bedroom with two figures under the covers all safe and warm.

Finally Brian looked over at Justin who had been intently watching Brian's reaction to his work.

"Do you like it?" Justin whispered.

"No," Brian stated.

"What?"

"I hate it, but I can barely take my eyes off it. It's the most powerful thing you have ever done. It's genius."

"You mean it?" Justin asked, suddenly shy in the face of all that praise … from Brian of all people.

"I fucking do. It's wonderful."

"Thanks," Justin said coming over and kissing Brian's cheek. "I thought it turned out well."

"And here I thought it was another picture of my dick."

"It is."

"What? Where?"

"It must be good if you don't recognize your own dick, and are more interested in other parts of the painting."

"Are you calling me self-centered?" Brian demanded but his eyes were scanning the canvas looking for his cock. "Shit!" he said as he spotted it in the lower right hand corner.

"Sorry I couldn't make it larger, but there were other things I wanted to concentrate on," Justin explained.

Brian looked at the tiny drawing of his cock and beside it what could only be Justin's bubble butt spread so his hole winked out at the studious observer. Subtle and not subtle at all.

"Why?" Brian asked.

"You made this all possible when you let me fuck you the other night."

"I did? How?"

"You're always reluctant about letting me top, but then you do … occasionally, and I know you enjoy it. You're ambivalent about doing it. That was when the true meaning of the word came to me and I just went from there."

"I'm happy to have been your inspiration, but should that be in there?" Brian asked as he pointed at the cock and ass.

"I can paint it out if you want me to, but nobody will recognize it. Hell, you never even noticed it."

"True," Brian agreed studying the overall effect of Justin's work. "It's really good."

Justin smiled and melted into Brian's arms. Brian's approval still meant a lot to him. They kissed for a long time.

"Let's go home," Brian whispered.

"Yeah."

Justin threw the cover back over his painting and shut off the lights.

"I understand how hard it is for you to give up being mayor," Justin said as he locked the door. He couldn't look at Brian as he said it.

"You do?"

"I see how good you are at it and how people respect you. But I want you to know that I also appreciate how much it has taken for you to turn away from all that … for me."

"My ambivalence," Brian chuckled as he nuzzled Justin's neck and they began walking out of the building arm in arm.

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