"You look a hell of a lot better than the last time I saw you," Daphne said as Justin slid into the booth across from her.

They were meeting for lunch about a week after Justin had had his little talk with Brian.

"I feel a lot better," Justin admitted. Things had been going … well.

"So tell me all about it?" Daphne demanded. She knew that it had gone all right to use Justin's words. They had talked on the phone the next day and Justin had been pleased with what had happened. He said that Brian had agreed to try to stop the teasing whenever it occurred, especially with his friends. He said that Brian seemed to understand about Justin's feelings of being lost in Brian's life. They had left it at that until they met face to face and this was the day.

"There isn't a lot to tell," Justin said.

"Come on!"

"Well, it's true. There isn't a whole lot that can be done about some of it. It comes with the territory of Brian's job."

"That's not really an excuse. Brian can fix some things."

"We talked about that. He's coming to my art show the end of next week."

"That's good, I guess. But won't you get teased again if he appears there."

"Maybe some, but he promised to come as himself and not the mayor. He won't have the limo. He'll come with me in the Corvette. He's not going to wear a suit."

"Big fucking compromise!" Daphne stated not at all impressed with Brian's concessions.

"It's a start. He was sorry he didn't realize how his life was affecting mine."

Daphne snorted. "If he wasn't so self-centered he would notice without you telling him."

Justin looked at her, surprised by her attack on Brian. She usually defended him, took his side. "I can't believe you said that. Brian's doing his best."

"Then how come you haven't said anything about him slamming the door in your face. Did you at least get an apology this time?"

Justin looked down at the menu unable to meet Daphne's gaze. The silence was deafening. "He did apologize … before."

"I know he did, but I don't think he fully realized how his actions hurt you. That was the prime example."

Justin sighed. He knew she was right. How many times had Brian sent him away, refused to listen, shut him out both literally and figuratively. The door slamming in his face was a classic example of what he wanted to fix in their relationship. "I don't know how to explain it to him," Justin admitted.

"Oh my God, you never told him!" Daphne almost shrieked. "After everything I told you, you didn't say anything about how that hurt you."

"I will. It was just… The time … wasn't right."

"So nothing really got settled! And here I've been thinking how brave you were and that Brian had come through for you. How fucking stupid I am! Topped only by how fucking stupid you are!"

"Daph…"

"Don't try to convince me you did the right thing. You had Brian in an understanding and compromising mood and you passed up that chance. You're fucking nuts!"

"It went so well. I just felt it would set him off if I started in about how he treats me."

"You talk about how others treat you, something that neither of you can fix. And…and then you don't get to the real point of the exercise. That's just fucked!"

Maybe it was fucked. He felt fucked by the whole thing. "I just couldn't do it," Justin said trying not to whine.

"I am really disappointed by you, Justin. You tell me all this shit and make me feel sorry for you, and then you cop out. If you're not going to take a stand on this, then I don't want to hear any more about it."

"Okay … fine … I won't say another word about it."

Daphne ground her teeth together. She so wanted to smack him. Sometimes he was so dense. And Brian too. They were so beautiful together. She knew how much Justin loved Brian and she was pretty sure Brian loved Justin even more, but they were hopeless in relationships. If only they would be honest with each other, they could have such a great life together. She shook her head wondering if there was any hope for the two idiots as far as love was concerned.

"I'll have a club sandwich," she said testily, "and you're paying for it."

Justin nodded knowing that he had pissed her off, but still believing that what he had done was for the best.

-----

The day of the art show rolled around. It had been a hectic couple of weeks for Justin getting his pieces ready, mounting and framing and hanging. He thought they looked really good. The show was to be juried and he hoped to make the top three.

He and Brian had seen very little of each other. Brian was involved in a series of committee meetings. Justin couldn't remember what the committees were for, that is if Brian had ever told him. Brian didn't get home until ten or later every night. There were some public hearings that were scheduled from seven to nine but always ran longer.

They would fall into bed, maybe fuck and then fall asleep immediately after. Many nights one or the other of them would already be asleep before the other arrived. Things between them were okay on the surface but underneath were rather strained.

The morning of the show Brian told Justin that he had a committee meeting that was supposed to be over at six. That would give him time to race home, change and they could go to the show together. Justin was worried that the time was cut so fine but Brian promised to be there. What else could Justin do but accept his promises?

Six o'clock came and went. Justin was all dressed and ready to go. He paced the loft and worried. It looked like Brian was going to let him down again. At twenty to seven he picked up the keys to the Corvette and made his way downstairs. All the contributors to the show and their families were supposed to be at PIFA by seven for a brief reception before the show began. He could just about make it … alone.

The show seemed to be going well. Justin stood by his pieces and made small talk with people who came by and told him how much they liked his work. The judges had already interviewed him. The decision of the jury would be announced at eight-thirty.

Justin had attended the reception alone. He had talked to the judges alone and now he stood stoically alone by his artwork. He could feel his resentment rising. He should have asked his mother to come to the show tonight. At least then he would have had someone to support him and tell him his work was good. He would have had a sympathetic shoulder if he didn't make the top three and a warm hug if he did. All he had was an empty space beside him and a hole in his heart. He couldn't believe Brian had let him down again, especially after their talk.

As eight o'clock passed and still there was no sign of Brian, Justin resigned himself to the likelihood that he would be alone all evening. Maybe that was a good thing. If Brian showed up now he would take a dull palette knife and run it through his cold, lying heart. Shit! He couldn't believe that he was so angry. He had done everything to make the man see how he felt. Well, everything except tell him the complete truth. Maybe Daphne was right and he should have hit Brian with the whole package of misery when he had the chance. What was it they said, "Hindsight is twenty-twenty"?

Justin turned and straightened one of his paintings. It was already perfectly straight but he needed a moment to fight back the tears and regain some composure. It hurt a lot that Brian had let him down again.

Suddenly he heard a change in the room behind him. A kind of hush had fallen, not real silence but a quiet that hadn't been there a moment ago. Justin turned in time to see Brian striding toward him dressed in his Armani suit and looking every bit the mayor. He knew peripherally that people had stopped talking and were staring at the entrance of their mayor.

For a split second Justin felt his heart soar. Brian had come. He had kept his promise. Then reality hit him. Brian had kept half his promise. He had made it to the show but he had come as the mayor not as Justin's partner. Once again Justin would play second fiddle to the older man … and at his own show. Fuck!

Justin continued to straighten the painting so he didn't have to turn around and face Brian just yet. He struggled to control his emotions which ran the gamut of sadness, anger and hope. He still hoped Brian would make things right. He felt a hand on his shoulder and knew he had to turn around.

"Hey," Brian said with that goofy grin that usually melted Justin's heart. "Sorry I'm late. The fucking meeting ran long … again."

"Really?" Justin said sarcastically. He saw Brian's eyebrows rise.

"I said I was sorry," Brian stated again giving Justin the leave-it-alone-for-now look.

"And I'm sure you are."

"What crawled up your ass?"

"Trust me, it won't be you."

Brian glared at him, but their tender moment was interrupted by someone tapping on a microphone and asking for their attention. They turned to listen to the results of the jury, putting aside their differences for now.

The third place winner was announced first. It wasn't Justin. Then second place was announced. That wasn't Justin either. He sighed thinking that probably he was going to be ignored. He felt Brian's fingers lace through his and he almost smiled. Sometimes Brian knew what to do. Justin squeezed the hand and saw support and understanding on Brian's face.

"In recognition of a unique and sometimes disturbing style, the Young Artist of the 2004 PIFA Student Art Show is … Justin Taylor."

Justin felt the smile spread across his face. He was the best. He felt Brian's arms come around him and pull him into a warm hug. He hugged back so happy in the moment.

"Justin, would you come forward, please?"

Justin released Brian and began moving towards the microphone. The professor introduced him to the audience and commented on Justin's hard work. Justin thanked the professor for his kind words and the judges for selecting his work. There was a large round of applause as Justin stepped down from the elevated platform. He looked around for Brian.

Over at the back of the room Brian was surrounded by the only television crew that was in attendance. They were interviewing Brian.

"Shit!" Justin said as he glared in that direction.

"Seems like the star of the moment is your partner, not you," Rod said coming up beside him.

"Yeah," Justin said brusquely.

"Come get a cup of coffee," Rod ordered hoping to distract Justin.

"Justin, over here," the interviewer who had been talking to Brian called. Justin hesitated not sure that he wanted to talk to either of them.

"You better go," Rod said giving Justin a little shove.

Justin walked reluctantly towards the lights and the videographer. As Justin approached, the woman stuck a microphone in his face and asked, "How does it feel to be judged best in the show?"

Justin relaxed a little. At least the question was about the show and his work. "It feels… um… great."

She turned immediately to Brian. "So Mr. Mayor, I guess you're proud of your partner?"

"Of course I am," Brian said testily.

"Justin, are you pleased the mayor was able to make your show tonight?"

"Yes."

"You make a lovely couple," she gushed.

"Excuse me," Brian said, "but this show is about Justin's talent as an artist, not about what a lovely couple we make."

Justin glanced up at Brian and smiled gratefully. The man was trying.

"Mr. Mayor, do you find it difficult with your schedule to attend functions like this with your partner?"

"This interview is over," Brian stated pushing the microphone away. The videographer switched off the light and moved away, giving Brian a funny look. "I'm sorry about that," Brian said looking at Justin and wondering what sort of repercussions would result from the insensitive reporter's actions.

"I'll bet," Justin said uncharitably.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"We need to talk when we get home," Justin said bluntly.

"Sure."

"I have to speak to a few people and then we can leave … or you could go without me and I'll meet you at the loft."

"You want me to go," Brian asked in disbelief. He had busted his balls to get there in the first place.

"I think it might be best."

"But I sent Chuck home," Brian protested. He didn't like the way this was going.

"There are cabs," Justin said speaking to Brian like he was a dimwitted child.

"Fine," Brian replied turning on his heel and pulling out his cell phone to call a cab.

"Bri…" Justin tried to relent, but his partner was already heading for the door.

He sighed and went to talk to the judges to get some feedback about what they liked in his work.

-----

Brian paced the loft. What the hell had happened at the art show? He ran his hand through his hair. He had raced to the show after the committee meeting ran long. He had to stay for the vote to allocate more money for public transit because he knew it was going to be close. He would have been the deciding vote. As it turned out, his vote wasn't needed, but he hadn't wanted to take the chance that it would be.

Chuck had driven like a madman to get him to the show and Justin hadn't even seemed glad to see him … at first. Then he had held Justin's hand while the results were announced and Justin had smiled at him. That was the best part of the evening. The little shit had been named the best … and he was the best.

Then that fucking reporter had cornered him and everything had gone to shit. She wouldn't talk to Justin, always asking Brian how he thought Justin had done or how he felt about his talented partner. Brian had sent her away but Justin didn't seem to appreciate that. He had sent Brian away immediately after.

Now Brian had nothing to do but wait and pace. He hoped Justin came home soon. They needed to get some things settled.

What seemed like hours later the loft door slid back and Justin stepped in. Brian was on the sofa watching the TV with the sound off. He turned it off completely and stood up hoping Justin's mood had improved. The boy didn't look happy.

"What happened tonight?" Brian said as Justin hung up his coat.

"Why were you late?" Justin asked ignoring Brian's question.

"There was a vote at the committee meeting. It was going to be close and I would be the deciding vote. It was for more public transit money," Brian added knowing that was a topic Justin felt strongly about.

"Oh."

"Is that it?" Brian asked when Justin added nothing more.

"Yeah."

"Justin, what the fuck is going on?"

Justin took a deep breath. "I hated the way that reporter treated me. It was like I was invisible at my own show."

"I know. That's why I told her the interview was over."

"Yeah, you did."

Brian waited hoping Justin would say something else. "What more could I have done?"

"Nothing, I guess."

"Tell me what's wrong," Brian pleaded.

"I'm not sure I can do this anymore."

"Do what?" Brian asked fearfully. Justin shook his head. "Tell me what you mean," Brian insisted. "Are you talking about doing art shows, about doing interviews, about doing me?"

Justin giggled in spite of himself. Brian could always make him laugh. That was one of the things he loved about the man. But was it, and everything else, enough anymore? He didn't know.

Brian stared at Justin hopefully. He took it as a good sign that Justin had laughed at his little bon mot.

Justin took a deep breath and steeled himself. "I want to tell you some things. I'd really appreciate if you wouldn't interrupt or judge until I'm finished. Do you think you can do that?"

Brian nodded. "I'll try," he said softly. He thought maybe he was going to get the whole story this time and he wasn't at all sure that he was going to like it.

Justin took Brian's hand and pulled him down beside him on the couch. He turned to face him and blue eyes looked unfalteringly into hazel ones.

"I love you, Brian. I've told you that many times, and I think you love me although you never say it." Brian made a face and seemed about to speak. Justin put his finger on Brian's lips to stop him. "No talking, remember." Brian nodded. "I hated what happened with that reporter tonight, and I know that it wasn't your fault. I've told you that I feel like my life is being swallowed up in yours. Tonight was a prime example. It was supposed to be my night, especially after the judges picked my work as the best."

"It was the best," Brian said when Justin paused.

"How do you even know that?" Justin questioned. "You arrived late, every inch the mayor. You had no time to look at my work let alone anyone else's. But that isn't even the real problem. I think I could handle all of that. I have been doing that for over a year now. When you got drunk after Angela died, you pushed me away and slammed that fucking hotel room door in my face." Justin looked at the floor unable to face Brian at that moment.

"I apologized," Brian whispered.

"I know you did. I appreciated that, but does it ever occur to you how much you hurt me when you do something like that?" Justin looked at Brian who seemed unable to answer. "When you promised to come to the show tonight as my partner and not the mayor, I was so happy. Then you arrive late and make that grand entrance. I know I should be grateful that you found the time to be there, but all it did was set the stage for what happened with that reporter. I would rather that you had said you couldn't come at all and I could have asked my mother."

"You don't want me there?"

"Of course I want you there, but not like what happened. I guess what I'm trying to say is … I can handle being pushed away by you sometimes and I can handle living in your shadow. But I can't handle both. I don't want to do this anymore."

"Does that mean that you're leaving … that we're through?"

"I don't see what else I can do."

Brian swallowed hard. "It's your call," he said. "It always has been." The hurt on Justin's face as he heard those words once again grabbed at Brian's gut and he knew he couldn't leave it like that. "But know that I want you to stay. Don't go."

Justin stared into Brian's eyes. He never thought he would hear Brian say that. "I don't think I can," he whispered.

Brian blinked understanding how close he was to losing the most important person in his life. "What … what if we … compromise?"

"How can we compromise?" Justin asked not knowing what Brian was thinking.

"What if I promise to do my very best not to push you away, and I mean my very best. Now that I know how it makes you feel, I'll really try not to … hurt you." Justin nodded. "And I'll stop being mayor at the end of my term. That's about ten months from now. I know that's a long time, but do you think you could stick it out that long?"

Justin stared back at Brian hearing the sincerity in his words. "You'd do that … for me? Give up being mayor?"

Brian nodded. "I'd quit right now, but you know I'm not a quitter. I took this on and I'm going to finish it." Justin nodded. "I swear I'll do my best to make it right."

"If you could just trust me like you trust Michael," Justin said.

"But you're not like Michael." Justin looked hurt by those words. "You're much more important. I don't want to put you through all my shit."

"That's your first mistake. I want to be part of your shit. I want to be part of everything where you're concerned."

"Even if it's really gross shit?" Brian asked with a grin.

Justin giggled. "Especially the really stinky stuff. Just trust me, Brian."

"I do, even if I don't always show it."

"I love you."

"I know, Sunshine. Come here."

Justin slid across the sofa and into Brian's arms. The kiss was soft and gentle and held all the promises that Brian had made. They melted into each other. Gradually the passion grew and they both knew how they would seal their bargain. They could do this for ten months. They intended to do this forever.

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