Image Is Everything
Chapter Six
Brian heard nothing from Justin the next day. He waited. He knew they had both been shaken by their encounter in his apartment. He wondered what Justin would do about it. The young man might decide not to sign Mark Phillips contract. He might want to stay away from Brian altogether. Brian hoped that wouldn't be the case. He knew Mark wanted Justin to represent his clothing line. Brian didn't want Justin to lose out on a golden opportunity. He even admitted grudgingly to himself that he couldn't bear the thought of never seeing Justin Taylor again.
He wondered what Justin would have told Ian about what had happened. He didn't for a moment think that Justin would tell his boyfriend the truth. Justin clung to the ridiculous delusion that he was in love with this guy. Brian figured it was only a matter of time before the two broke up. All so-called romances ended that way. He intended to be there to pick up the pieces when theirs did.
The following day Brian was still waiting to hear from Justin Taylor. Mark Phillips had been on the phone wanting to know if everything was signed, sealed and delivered. He had not been happy to hear that Justin had not signed the contract. Brian decided he needed to take things into his own hands. He placed a call to Justin's number.
A strange voice answered. "Hello?"
"May I speak to Justin Taylor, please," Brian said politely.
"Who is this?"
"Brian Kinney."
"Justin's not available to you, now or ever!"
The receiver slammed down and Brian jerked the phone away from his aching ear. That must have been the fucking boyfriend. Obviously he didn't want Justin to sign the contract or have anything more to do with modeling or with Brian. Brian decided he would have to do something about that.
He knew that PIFA was a small campus. He figured most of the students would know each other. He decided if he went to the campus, found the art department and asked around, he'd find Justin Taylor quick as a wink. He hopped in his Corvette and headed out to the campus.
He quickly found the art department, but finding Justin proved to be a lot more difficult. The professors refused to give out any information about their students. When he asked students in the art building, none of them knew where Justin was. He was just about ready to give up and go home when he rounded the corner of a building on the way back to his car. In a little garden area he saw a familiar blond head.
He stood still and watched. He realized that Justin was sketching something hidden behind some bushes. The bushes blocked Justin's subject from Brian's view. He stepped forward and looked around the bushes. Two guys were making out on the grass behind the bushes. Justin was sketching their activities.
Brian moved to the side so that he could come up to Justin without the boy seeing him. When he was close, he said, "A little of the voyeur in you, I see."
Justin jumped and made a long pencil mark across his sketch. "Fuck!" he reacted.
"I'm sorry," Brian said. He hadn't meant for that to happen.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Justin demanded.
"Looking for you."
"Why are you looking for me?"
"The contract?" Brian said like he was talking to an idiot.
"Oh, that."
"Yes, that. Did you sign it?"
"I forgot all about it."
"Don't lie. You don't forget about a contract for five figures unless your name is Rockefeller instead of Taylor."
Justin snorted. "I could use the money, but I can't sign the contract."
"Why?"
"It's complicated."
"Complicated, as in Ian won't let you."
Justin frowned and then blushed. "Why did you say that?"
"I saw the way he was with you so possessive. I tried to call you today and Ian told me I'd never see you again."
"So you came here."
"I don't like being ordered around. It pisses me off."
Justin chuckled. He wished he could see Ethan's face right now if he knew Brian was here. He'd blow a blood vessel. Justin's face sobered. "I think you better tell Mr. Phillips to find somebody else."
"He wants you."
"He wants you too, but that doesn't mean he's going to get what he wants."
"Are you sure about that?"
"I I'm sure," Justin said mustering all of his resolve.
"Then you're a bigger fucking idiot than I could ever have imagined."
"Fuck off!" Justin retorted having had about all he could take.
"It's Ian that you should be telling to fuck off. I guess the two of you deserve each other."
Brian turned on his heel and marched away. He had thought Justin Taylor was smarter than that, but when you were that young, love was everything. Brian had meant it. Ian and Justin deserved each other. He washed his hands of the two of them. Fuck them both!
As he inserted his key into the door of the Corvette he felt a hand on his arm. "Can we talk for a minute," Justin said. Brian could see he was close to tears.
"What's the point? I tell you something, and then you go home and let Ian sell you a bill of goods that contradicts what I've said. I'm sick of it."
"You you have every right to be. I I feel like I'm being torn apart," Justin said in a voice filled with anguish. The first tear trickled down Justin's cheek.
Brian wanted to get in the car and drive away, but there was something about this young man, something about his spirit being crushed that spoke to Brian. He couldn't just leave him in such obvious distress.
"Get in the car," Brian ordered.
Justin gulped back the rest of his tears, hesitated for a moment, then opened the car door and got in. Brian slid into the driver's seat. He started the car and peeled out of the parking lot. He wasn't sure where he was going. They drove in silence for awhile.
"Do you want me to take you home?"
Justin shook his head. "You're right. He'll just talk me into not signing the contract."
"Is that what you want?"
Justin shook his head again.
Brian drove for a bit until he realized he was near the river. He pulled the car into a lot and they got out. Brian walked down the steps to the bank of the river. He walked a little way until he saw a bench. He sat down and waited for Justin to catch up to him. Justin sat at the other end of the bench away from Brian. Brian studied the blond for a few minutes while Justin seemed to struggle with what he wanted to do.
"Are you going to talk?" Brian asked bluntly when he got tired of waiting.
"There are some things you don't know," Justin said.
"Like what? That Ian's an asshole and is holding you back."
"That's not true. He's not an asshole. He saved me."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Brian asked with a frown.
"When I told my father that I thought I was gay, he slapped my face and told me never to say anything like that again. I ran away. I went to Liberty Avenue to find people like me. Only I didn't find people like me."
"What did you find?"
"This guy started following me. I told him to leave me alone, but he became more and more persistent. I I was totally inexperienced. I freaked and started to run. I wasn't watching where I was going and I almost ran out into the path of a truck. Ethan was playing his violin on the street corner and he grabbed me just in time. I I owe him my life."
"How sweet," Brian said with as much sarcasm as he could muster. He now understood a little better what he was up against. "So does that mean you do whatever he wants for the rest of your life?"
"There's more."
"What?"
"I was really shaken up. I couldn't go home and I had nowhere else to go. Ethan took me home with him and gave me a place to stay. He looks after me."
"And he asked you to share his bed?"
"Eventually."
"How touching!"
"We love each other. I owe him so much."
Brian sighed. "I see where your sense of obligation comes from, but it doesn't mean that you have to turn down this opportunity because he doesn't like it. Isn't it time you started taking care of yourself? This contract will give you that ability."
Justin stared at Brian like a veil had just been lifted from his eyes. It seemed that he had never thought about a life without Ethan, or at the very least a life where he was not dependent on the violin player.
"I could, couldn't I?" Justin asked after a minute or two.
"Of course, you can. You're smart and talented. You have the chance of a great job with a sizeable income. You can do whatever you want."
"But I don't want to hurt Ethan. I do love him."
"That may be the price of your independence. You need to tell him exactly what you feel and what you want to do. If he can't accept that, then he doesn't really love you." Brian couldn't believe he was counseling this young man about love and relationships. He didn't believe in either one. His friends would die laughing if they heard him. But Brian didn't care. He really wanted to help Justin. He liked the boy and wanted him to have a chance at a good life. Being under the thumb of the fucking fiddler didn't seem like much of a life to Brian.
Justin had been sitting staring out at the river and trying to decide what he was going to do. He knew Brian was right. He could hear the truth of what he said. He did love Ethan, although he wasn't sure he knew what love really was. He had never been with anyone else. He had never had a boyfriend other than Ethan. He liked it when they were together, when they slept in each other's arms, when they sucked each other off. They had never gone any further than that. Justin wasn't exactly sure what further entailed. He did know one thing though. He had never felt anything with Ethan like his stolen kisses with Brian. He wondered what it would be like to have Brian suck him off and maybe go further. He could feel his cock starting to swell. He didn't have time for that right now. He had to sort out this mess.
Justin shifted on the bench. "I'm going to sign the contract," he said staring into Brian's eyes.
"Until you go home and Ian changes your mind," Brian warned.
"Not this time. I'm going to do it."
"Are you sure?"
"Drive me to the apartment and I'll sign it right now."
"What about Ian?"
"He probably won't be there, but if he is, I'm still doing it."
"Okay, let's go."
They walked back to the car. Brian drove in silence following the directions that Justin gave him. When they finally pulled up to an old building, Brian wondered if Justin's resolve would hold. They got out.
"The contract's upstairs," Justin said. "Come up with me."
Brian didn't know if that was such a good idea. If the boyfriend was there he might end up in the middle of a lover's quarrel. He didn't do lover's quarrels.
"Please, come," Justin said holding out his hand to Brian.
Brian took it, feeling that little jolt when they touched. He followed Justin into the building. They climbed the four flights to the battered door of the apartment.
"This is it," Justin said unlocking the door. He pushed it open and they stepped inside.
Ethan sat on the old sofa they had reclaimed from the garbage. He glared at both of them. "You brought that asshole to our home?" Ethan said.
"I'm signing the contract," Justin said going over to some crates that contained CD's and some papers. He pulled out what looked like the contract and went to the little table near the kitchen. "Have you got a pen?" Justin asked Brian.
"There's one on the counter," Ethan said in a defeated voice.
Justin picked it up and looked over the contract one last time as he prepared to sign it. Brian looked around the squalid apartment, noting the mattress on top of the wooden flats, the battered furniture and the depressing atmosphere. The only good thing in the whole place, besides Justin, was the artwork on the walls. That must be Justin's stuff. Ethan sat glowering on the sofa.
Justin signed the contract and handed it to Brian. "Here. It's a done deal."
"Good," Brian said. "I guess I'll be going." Justin walked with him to the door. "Call me tomorrow after I've talked to Mark and we'll start working out the details."
Justin nodded. "Thanks, Brian," he said and closed the door as Brian went out.
Brian hesitated. He wanted to be sure that Justin was all right. Ian seemed to be in a foul mood, but he didn't seem violent. Brian wondered what he would say now that Brian was gone.
"I can't believe you did that," Ethan's voice began. "You know I didn't want you to."
"I know," Justin replied, "but the important thing is that I wanted to."
"So it doesn't matter what I think anymore?"
"It does, but I have to make some decisions for myself. I want to do this."
"Are you leaving me?" Ethan asked in a pathetic voice.
"Not unless you make me."
"I would never do that."
"Then I'm not going anywhere. I love you."
"I love you too."
"Come here and I'll show you how much," Justin's soft voice said.
Brian turned and started down the stairs. All was well with the young lovers. They would consummate their mutual adoration and all would be right with the world. Brian wanted to throw up. He knew he had hoped Ian would throw a fit and kick Justin out. Brian would have taken him home and shown him what real passion was. That hadn't happened however. It looked like he would be searching for a blond trick in the backrooms of Liberty Avenue again tonight.
As Brian climbed into the Corvette, he told himself that what had happened was for the best. If Ian had thrown Justin out and Brian had taken the boy home, he knew he would have one hell of a time kicking him out after he fucked him.
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