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+ Seven +

Brian awoke with a start. He had a terrible taste in his mouth. He reached for the bottle of water that Justin had placed there for him before the blond went to sleep on the couch. He had finally given up trying to get Brian to talk to him.

The bottle of water disappeared down his throat. It helped the taste in his mouth, but now he had to pee. He sat up. His head swam in a most disconcerting manner. He wondered if this was leftover prescription pills in his system. Maybe it was his punishment for making such a cock-up of trying to kill himself. He groaned.

He pulled his legs over the side of the bed so he was sitting up. His wheelchair was against the closet. Fuck! Cynthia must have pushed it out of the way when she was sitting on the side of his bed. He tried to figure out how he could pull it to him. He looked around trying to find something long enough to grab it. There was nothing. He debated calling out to Justin, but he didn't want to wake him. He also didn't want to appear anymore helpless than he already had. Maybe if he slid off the bed he could crawl over and haul himself into the chair. It was worth a try.

He pushed himself off the bed and sat down hard on the floor. He let out an audible groan as he did so. The next thing he knew Justin was standing over him wearing only his underwear.

"What happened?" Justin asked staring down at him. At least he didn't try to haul Brian up which was what he would have expected.

"Give me my fucking chair," Brian commanded, again embarrassed by being so helpless and by his body's reaction to the package contained in Justin's briefs.

Justin brought it over and set the brake. Brian struggled to get into it. It wasn't easy to get from the floor up into the wheelchair, much easier from the bed using the grab bar.

"Can I help?" Justin asked as Brian struggled.

"Hold it still."

Justin stood behind the chair bracing it against his hip. Brian then could use the seat to raise himself. Finally he was seated in it breathing hard and very annoyed.

"I'm sorry that I didn't move it back by the bed. I'll remember next time."

"Who says there'll be a next time? I have to piss if you don't mind," Brian said wheeling past the blond and secretly hoping he ran over his toes. He disappeared into the bathroom. He pulled the urinal out and started to pee. He turned his head sensing that Justin was watching him. "Want to hold it for me?" he asked sarcastically.

"Um … no, but I wondered how you did that," Justin admitted.

"I point and piss like any other man."

Justin snorted. "I meant how you got it in the toilet, but you don't."

"So now you know all my secrets."

"Not by half."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that I don't know you very well."

"You just fucking met me. Why are you here anyway?" Brian asked with a scowl.

"Are you always so rude?"

"It's one of my most endearing traits," Brian said as he flushed.

Justin snorted. Brian cocked an eyebrow. It was a standoff.

"Ready to go back to bed?" Justin asked.

"I'm not tired," Brian said belligerently.

"So … do you want to talk?" Brian glared at him. "How about playing cards?" Brian glared some more. "Strip poker?" Justin asked with a smirk. Brian hoped the glimmer of interest didn't show in his eyes.

"Why don't you go back to your own fucking apartment?" Brian asked trying to drive the handsome young man away.

"I told Cynthia I'd stay."

"When did you and Cynthia get to be best buds?"

"I guess you could say we have a vested interest in the same thing."

Brian studied the young man. He wasn't sure what he thought that statement meant. He knew what he hoped it meant. Brian caught himself. He couldn't hope. That's what had got him into this mess in the first place. He would not hope.

"Go back to sleep." Brian said.

"Sure," Justin agreed moving out of the bathroom. "Your couch is really comfortable," Justin said with an edge of sarcasm.

"Don't call it a couch. It's a sofa, a very expensive sofa. And if you don't like it you can always go home."

"No such luck, big guy," Justin said laying down on the sofa and pulling a sheet over himself.

Brian went to his computer switching it on. While it booted up he stared across at the sofa. Being at the computer meant that he only had to look up to see the delicious shape of the blond under the thin sheet. He stifled a groan.

He logged onto his favorite chat site. Maybe BB would be there. He could use someone anonymous to talk to. He wasn't about to "share" with Justin. "Fuck!" he muttered. BB wasn't on tonight. This was the first time he hadn't been there when he'd wanted him. And this time he almost needed him.

"Is something wrong?" Justin asked turning over.

"No."

"I thought you said something."

"I said 'fuck'."

Justin's eyes lasered in on Brian's. "Is that an invitation?"

Brian felt his cock jump at the words. Why did Justin do these things? He couldn't be serious. "Go to sleep," he ordered choosing to ignore Justin's words.

"I'm wide awake now."

"So you'll be bugging me incessantly?"

"I can keep quiet if that's what you want," Justin said knowing there was no point in arguing.

"Why are you involved in this? You should be at home in your own bed … with someone else."

Justin frowned. "Thanks for the advice, but there's no one else."

"How come?"

"There … just isn't."

"You're reasonably attractive," Brian smirked.

"Thanks, I think."

"So go get laid."

"I don't want to," Justin said not really knowing how to reply.

"Everybody wants to."

"Only with the right person."

"Picky, are you?"

"Very."

Why did this sound vaguely familiar? Brian couldn't quite answer that thought, but it was slightly unsettling. "How are you going to find Mr. Right when you're stuck here with me?"

Justin looked like he was about to say something but then changed his mind. "Where's your Mr. Right?" Justin asked finally turning the tables on Brian.

Brian sneered. "The Mr. Right's have been beating down my door since … the accident," his said, his voice full of sarcasm and anger.

"And you've been beating them off with a stick?" Justin asked with a little grin.

"Mostly just beating off," Brian said ruefully.

Justin laughed. "You have a wicked sense of humor."

Brian raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, wicked."

"Why did you do that?" Justin asked softly.

Brian knew immediately that he was asking about the pills. He didn't know how much he was prepared to reveal. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"I … I feel kind of responsible. You came out with me and that freaked you. I didn't know. I wouldn't have asked you if I had."

"It's not your fault. I should have known better."

"Then why did you do it?"

"Because you asked me," Brian whispered, something he could only say in the wee small hours of the morning with his face mostly in shadow.

"I'd still like to have coffee with you," Justin whispered in return.

"After what happened?"

"We don't have to go out. I'll buy fresh muffins," Justin promised sincerely.

Brian snorted. "Why do you want to be near me? I'm disgusting. I'm a cripple. I'm a coward." The words seemed to be ripped from Brian's chest. Justin could feel the pain.

"You're none of those things," Justin said vehemently. "Do you know what I see when I look at you?" Brian said nothing, just shook his head. "I see a strong, beautiful man who has overcome unbelievable hardships. I see someone that I want to get to know. I see someone I'm attracted to."

The phone chose that precise moment to ring. Brian scarcely heard it. His head was reeling from Justin's words. He hoped he had heard correctly, but it couldn't be.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Justin asked.

Brian couldn't trust his voice. He shook his head as the machine kicked in.

"Brian! Brian! Pick up the fucking phone!" a woman's voice demanded. Brian's head was still swimming. He heard the words but they didn't really register. "I know you're fucking there. Answer me." Still Brian did nothing. "Lindsay went into labor a while ago. Things are moving fast. She wants you here, asshole." The line went dead.

Brian sat immobile his eyes on his hands which were clasped in front of him on the desk.

"Who was that, Brian? Who's having a baby?" Justin asked.

"I am."

"What?" Justin's eyes were very large.

"My child is in the process of being born … or rather Lindsay's baby is being born. It's not really mine."

"I don't understand," Justin said. He was sure Brian was gay, but he was having a baby?

"Lindsay's a friend. She needed a sperm donor."

"You."

Brian nodded. "That would be me."

"Then you need to go. You should be there."

Brian shook his head. "It's her baby, not mine."

"But she wants you there. The baby will be your son or daughter."

Brian stared at him. "I told her I didn't want anything to do with it."

"But…" Justin began. He bit off the rest of his remark. He had learned one thing very quickly. There was less than no point in arguing with Brian.

"Besides, who wants to see lesbian snatch," Brian tried to joke. Justin merely stared at him not responding. "You think I should go?"

"Of course, but what do I know?" Justin glared at him.

"I'm not sure I should drive," Brian said lamely. Some part of him wanted to be there.

"I could drive you," Justin volunteered brightening up.

"You have a car?"

"No, but don't you?"

"Yes, but you won't be able to drive it."

"Why?" Justin frowned.

"It has hand controls."

"Oh! I could go with you," Justin said hopefully.

"I don't think it's a good idea," Brian said backing away from the possibility of going and all that implied.

"Then don't," Justin said giving up or appearing to.

Brian was quiet for a bit, perhaps waiting for Justin to offer more encouragement. None was forthcoming.

"It's late," Brian finally said. Justin thought he was going to go back to bed. He sighed and lay down on the couch. "There won't be too many people around. Let's go."

Justin was on his feet immediately. He grabbed his clothes and started putting them on. What could be better for Brian's frame of mind than the birth of his child? Brian had disappeared up to the bedroom to get ready. In a few minutes they were down at the van. Justin was fascinated by all the unusual features in the vehicle and asked continuous questions all the way to the hospital. They parked the van and headed for the front door.

As they approached the main door of the hospital Brian stopped. Justin turned to look at him. He was afraid Brian had changed his mind and was going to run away again.

"I hate hospitals," Brian said. "I swore I'd never set foot in one again unless I was dead."

"But this is for a happy reason."

"Yeah."

Brian finally sucked it up and they entered the hospital. They checked at the front desk and were directed to delivery. The nurse at delivery told them Ms. Peterson had already had her baby and gave them the room number. They arrived at the room to find it filled with lesbians.

Lindsay looked up at Brian's entrance and said, "You came. Say hello to your son." She looked down at the little bundle she held in her arms. "Want to hold him?"

Brian wheeled over by the bed and took the baby in his arms. Justin thought he had never seen anything more beautiful than Brian and his son. Someone snapped a picture. He'd have to get a copy of it. He wanted to sketch this moment.

"Careful. Don't drop him," the woman on the bed with Lindsay said.

"That's just what I was going to do," Brian replied giving her a withering look.

He held the little bundle tenderly in front of him. He couldn't believe how tiny his son was. A little hand came out and touched Brian's nose. He thought he would cry at the simple gesture. It was like his son knew him and he was reaching out to his father. Brian wanted to crush his son to his breast, but he held him away afraid that he would break down if he did anything more. His heart was so full.

"Mel wants to call him Abraham after her grandfather, but I like Gus. What do you think, Brian?" Lindsay asked.

"I don't know. What do you think, Justin?"

"You'd never survive on the playground with a name like Abraham, but I guess Gus would be all right," Justin replied.

"And who the hell are you?" Melanie asked.

"He's been sleeping at my place," Brian stated.

"Sleeping?" Lindsay and Melanie said simultaneously. Justin blushed.

"Bet you don't get much actual sleep," Melanie retorted.

"Not tonight anyway," Justin said letting them take that any way they wanted to. Brian smiled his approval.

"Could I have a few minutes alone with Lindsay?" Brian asked.

The room started to clear. Justin glanced at Brian who nodded for him to go too. Even Melanie stood up.

"Can I get you anything, sweetie?" she asked Lindsay.

"Something fizzy," Lindsay requested.

Melanie left and they were alone with their son.

"He's beautiful, Lindz."

"Can you believe we're parents?"

"Scary, huh?"

"Maybe we can send him back," Lindsay said only half joking.

"I think I'll keep him," Brian said still holding his son and studying the tiny face.

"He's a keeper all right."

"You know if you ever need anything…"

"I know, but we'll be fine." Brian handed Gus to his mother. "I want you to know your son, Brian. I'm glad you came tonight."

"Yeah," Brian said. He reached up and touched Gus' little chin. "Night, Sonny Boy. Sweet dreams for your first night on earth."

He wheeled himself out the door looking for Justin. Lindsay watched with a little smile. She was glad he had given in and come to see his son.

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