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+ Ten +

Justin hesitated in the doorway. He wasn't sure what he had interrupted. He wondered who the handsome black man disappearing down the stairs was.

"What do you want?" Brian's voice asked from somewhere over by the windows.

"May I come in?" Justin asked stepping tentatively over the threshold. He could see Brian over by the sofa. The man shrugged, so he proceeded a little farther into the loft. "Who was that?" Justin asked wondering how the man had known his name.

"That's really none of your business," Brian said cruelly.

"Of course not," Justin admitted. "But he used my name."

"Maybe you've done business with him sometime," Brian sneered.

"I don't think so," Justin said trying to place who the man might be. "Does he live in the building?"

"He's a fucking hustler," Brian growled trying to make Justin feel uncomfortable and unwelcome. He wasn't going to make small talk with this man who had hurt him. He wanted to know why he had suddenly appeared once again.

Justin almost gasped. "You think I use hustlers?" he asked.

"No, it's only cripples like me who need hustlers," Brian replied sarcastically.

"Why are you saying this stuff?"

"What do you want?"

"I … I meant to call earlier but I've been really busy."

"No kidding," Brian said skeptically. "So you finally found some time to come up here. I repeat, what do you want?"

"I thought maybe you would come to my place for coffee tomorrow. I have something to show you."

"I think I've done just about all the coffee dates that I can stand."

"I know the other one didn't … work out, but please come."

"I don't think so."

"Please, we can start over."

"We've already started over too many fucking times already."

"But maybe we could get it right this time," Justin said batting his baby blues.

Brian stared at him. He thought, "What the fuck kind of game is the blond playing? One minute he wants me, wants to be with me, the next he can't get away fast enough."

"Is something wrong?" Justin asked.

Brian debated how to answer that. Justin didn't seem to think that anything bad had happened. Brian wondered if he had misread the situation. Some part of him still wanted to believe that Justin liked him, maybe even something more than like.

"Why did you rush out of here the other morning?" Brian asked needing to know.

"I told you that I had a meeting and a full schedule."

Brian frowned. Justin had said that he was going to be busy. Could that really be the reason he hadn't called?

"So what have you been doing that's kept you so busy?" Brian asked warily. He wondered if maybe that was all there was to it.

"I'm having a show of my work," Justin said with a smile.

"Your work?"

"Yeah, didn't I tell you that I'm an artist?"

"I don't think so."

"I told you I went to PIFA."

"Yeah?"

"Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Art."

"Oh," Brian said. Then he added, "I thought that was Penis Implants for Fuller Arousal."

Justin giggled knowing Brian was teasing him. "I hope after the other night you don't think I need them." Brian shook his head and Justin could see that crooked little grin. "Are we okay?" Justin asked.

Brian looked into the blue eyes. He wished, he hoped, they were all right, but he wasn't sure. "Okay about what?" he asked deciding to leave it up to Justin to put into words what he was too afraid to say.

"About what happened between us the other night."

"And what was that?"

"Why are you being like this?" Justin asked with a frown.

Brian wanted to be honest. He was always honest. But he couldn't admit it. Justin had to say it first. In fact he wasn't sure he could ever trust someone enough to admit that he might have some sort of feelings for them … maybe. "I need to know where you stand," Brian said staring at the floor.

"I didn't think I could make it any plainer. I practically threw myself at you."

"And then you ran out and I didn't hear from you for days."

Justin heard the catch in Brian's voice and the hurt in his words. He finally understood. "Did you think I wasn't coming back?" he asked softly.

"What else would I think?" was Brian's strangled reply.

"You are so fucking wrong!" Justin stated emphatically. "And I'm sorry if I made you think that. I've just had so much to do."

"Come here," Brian whispered.

Justin walked towards Brian. When he stood beside him, he hesitated waiting for an invitation. Brian hesitated for a moment and then his hand reached up to touch Justin's. His fingers wrapped around Justin's wrist and pulled him down. Justin half tumbled into Brian's lap and found himself engulfed in a long, sweet, sexy kiss.

When the kiss finally ended Justin looked into Brian's eyes. "I really am sorry for worrying you."

Brian was about to tell him that sorry was bullshit. Instead he said, "Don't ever do it again."

"I promise," Justin whispered, his warm breath washing over Brian's face.

Brian felt his cock stir. He still wanted this man … so much. He captured those delicious lips in another prolonged kiss. He could feel his stiffening cock trapped beneath Justin's soft bottom. He groaned.

"Let me help you with that," Justin whispered standing up. He unbuttoned Brian's jeans and dropped to his knees in front of the wheelchair. He freed Brian's cock tugging gently but forcefully as he did so. Brian groaned again. Justin pushed Brian's legs apart and positioned himself between them. He leaned in and licked the tip of the swollen member. His tongue probed the slit and Brian gasped.

"Oh fuck!" Brian moaned feeling his eyes roll back into his head at the sensation. He had missed Justin so much over the last two days. He hardly knew the man but his need for him was so elemental, so unexplainable, so all consuming.

Justin's lips surrounded the head of the cock and sucked it into his mouth. He felt Brian shiver throughout his body. He pulled on the head of the cock with his lips. Brian groaned. His lips slid down the shaft and he did his best to take the full length down his throat. He felt Brian's fingers bury themselves in his hair. The man pressed Justin's head urging him to go faster, harder, deeper. Justin was happy to oblige.

Soon Justin's mouth was moving up and down the shaft in swift, hard movements. Brian moaned above him. Justin had to stop for a moment. He wanted to witness the look on Brian's face that he knew he was causing. The glance was worth it. Brian's eyes were shut, his head thrown back, his lips parted as if it was too much effort to close them. Every aspect of Brian's face said that he had given himself over totally to the pleasure Justin was producing. Justin smiled for a split second. That was exactly what he had wanted to see. He renewed his ministrations. With a cry somewhere between a groan and a howl, Brian came forcefully into Justin's mouth. Justin milked him dry relishing every drop of the man's essence.

When he had sucked Brian dry, Justin slid up the man's body and deposited himself in Brian's lap. He wrapped his arms around Brian's neck and nuzzled his cheek against the man's. Brian sighed and opened his eyes. Justin's eyes looked deep into Brian's.

"Satisfied?" Justin asked with a little smirk.

"Umm…" Brian said. "Super-satisfied!"

"Do I get extra for super-satisfying you?"

"You get anything you want after that blowjob," Brian replied before he realized what he had said.

"Anything?" Justin asked with an evil grin.

Brian groaned. He knew he wasn't going to like this. "What do you want?"

"I want you to come to my art show."

"Justin … I … you know … I can't do that." Brian looked hurt and mortified that Justin had asked him, and that he couldn't meet the blond's expectations.

"Yes, you can."

"You saw what happened when I went out in the street," Brian said with a grimace at the memory.

"I saw what happened that night you gave me a ride too."

"And your point would be?" Brian asked testily.

"That you want to get back into the world and I can help you do that."

"And how would you do that?" Brian asked annoyed at being put in this position.

"We can start small. Maybe we could go visit Gus. That would be a start."

"That's not the same as going to some place … unknown."

"Oh, I see. It's the unknown that you're afraid of. How strangers will react to you."

"Something like that, but I'm not afraid. I don't want to deal with riff raff. That's all."

Justin did his best not to laugh. He really wanted Brian to come to his show. He also wanted the man to have a life beyond this loft, maybe a life that could include him.

"Maybe that's the key," Justin said. "If you think of people as riff raff, that their opinion isn't important, then you could go out among them."

"Like I would want to!" Brian snorted.

"I think that's exactly what you want, if you would only admit it."

Brian stared at this young man who seemed to understand him on some elemental level. He knew that everything Justin had said was true, even if he refused to admit it.

"How do you propose to produce this miracle?" Brian asked sarcastically.

"Why don't we go visit Gus this morning? We can see how that goes and maybe try something more this afternoon. My show opens tomorrow night."

"I … I don't know. I don't think that would work."

"Call … Lindsay. Was that her name?" Justin handed Brian the phone.

Brian stared at the cordless phone like it was a snake that might rear up and bite him at any second.

"Go on," Justin ordered walking over to the windows to give Brian a chance to make the call in privacy.

A few minutes later Brian said, "Justin, she says we can come right now."

"Good, let's go."

"I thought you were so busy."

"I was, but everything's basically ready for tomorrow night. Can we walk to Lindsay's or should we take the van?"

"We could walk but I don't think I'm ready for that. It's quite a ways."

"Van it is," Justin replied. "Need anything else to take with you?"

Brian shook his head. He knew this was a bad idea, but he didn't know how to turn Justin down. He wheeled over to the counter, grabbed the keys to the van and began to set the alarm. Justin smiled slightly as he watched.

When they reached Lindsay's and got out of the van, Justin groaned. The door to the house was up a set of stairs. There was no way Brian could get into the house. That ruined everything he had planned.

Brian watched the play of emotions across Justin's face. He couldn't help but smile. The young man got it. He understood what steps meant to someone in a wheelchair. They were a barrier that cut the handicapped off from the rest of the world. That's why he had made his own barriers in the loft. He could control those. The outside world was a different story.

"I…" Justin began not knowing what to say and afraid to look at Brian.

Brian decided to put him out of his misery. "Lindsay has lemonade for us in the back yard," he said.

"Oh! That's great," Justin replied brightening up. He began to follow Brian along the path leading around the house.

Lindsay was sitting at the picnic table, lemonade and cookies at the ready. She held a wiggling Gus in her arms. "Look who's here, sweetie," she said to the tiny baby when she spotted Brian and Justin. "It's daddy and a friend."

"Justin," Brian said abruptly making sure Lindsay knew she was to treat Justin kindly, not that she didn't treat everybody kindly.

Brian wheeled over to the table finding it harder going on the grass. His new chair handled it pretty well though. He accepted Gus from his mother cradling the little bundle against his chest. He couldn't believe the wave of emotion that struck him once again. Who knew that a baby inspired such feeling? He wondered if his own father, or his mother for that matter, had ever felt anything like this when they held him. He seriously doubted it.

Lindsay was pouring lemonade for them all. Justin was already munching on a cookie.

Brian stared into Gus' face. He took one of the little hands into his own and examined each finger. The baby burbled and cooed. Brian smiled down at his son. He couldn't believe that he had helped create something so small and wonderful. His son. This was his son. Despite being stuck in a fucking wheelchair he had helped produce this tiny, perfect creature. He wondered what lay in store for his son. Despite what he had told Lindsay before, he didn't think he could walk away and never see Gus. Gus might need him, and he was beginning to think he needed Gus.

"Brian," Lindsay said holding a glass of lemonade towards him. Brian shook his head. He was thirsty, but not for lemonade. He wanted to study his son, memorize every feature, in case he didn't get to see him anymore. That's what he had promised Lindsay. They would probably hold him to it. If only he had known.

After a few minutes Gus settled into the crook of his arm and fell asleep.

"I think he likes you," Justin said with a smile.

"He's my son," Brian said proudly accepting the lemonade now that Gus was asleep.

"Brian, I've been thinking," Lindsay began. "We could have a ramp made here at the back. You could come visit Gus anytime you want."

Brian was touched at the suggestion. He would like to come visit his son. Then something else occurred to him. "And what does Melanie think about that?" Brian asked sarcastically. Lindsay hesitated. "She doesn't know anything about it, does she?" Brian asked suspecting that Lindsay had just decided to suggest that he visit the baby.

"She'll be fine with it," Lindsay said.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I could call her," Lindsay suggested.

"Why don't we take Gus for a ride down the street while Lindsay talks to Melanie," Justin suggested. Brian looked spooked and glanced at the baby. "You said you'd try. It will be a small first step, and it's a quiet neighborhood. We probably won't even meet anybody," Justin tried to convince him.

Brian nodded taking a deep breath and holding the sleeping Gus a little closer. He noticed the look that passed between Justin and Lindsay. They must have been talking about him while he was studying Gus. They probably had some scheme all worked out.

They made their way out to the street. Brian looked anxiously up and down the sidewalk. Nobody was in sight. Slowly they began moving towards the park that Brian knew was not far down the way. Justin stayed close to the wheelchair watching Brian closely. He was glad their little expedition had started off quietly.

They followed the walkway into the park and found a bench where Justin sat down. He slid up against the end staying beside Brian who pulled his chair up as close as he could. Gus slept blissfully on.

"Think you're pretty smart, don't you?" Brian said to Justin.

Justin batted those blue eyes at him. "Whatever do you mean?" he asked as innocently as he could muster.

"You think your little plan is working perfectly, don't you?"

"Well, isn't it?"

Brian snorted. "So far," he had to admit.

Suddenly a shadow fell across Brian. He glanced up to see a middle aged woman looking at Gus. Brian clutched Gus a little closer and looked ready to run.

"He's a beautiful baby," the woman said. "What's his name?"

Brian looked up and saw the smile on the woman's face. "Gus," he said softly. Justin beamed at him.

"Hello, Gus," the woman continued. "You look like you're enjoying your ride with your father." She took Gus' little hand into hers.

Brian flinched but stayed still. He took a couple of deep breaths. "How do you know he's my son?" Brian asked.

"He looks just like you," she said. "You're very lucky to have such a wonderful little boy."

"I know," Brian said almost in a whisper. The lady smiled at Brian and Gus, and moved away.

"Nice lady," Justin said.

"Very perceptive," Brian said with that crooked grin.

"Want to go back?" Justin asked.

"Think that's all I can handle for one day?"

"Baby steps," Justin replied.

"Gus and me together."

They walked back to Lindsay's, meeting one person along the way. He paid no attention to them. Brian didn't seem too upset as he passed by. They returned Gus to his mother and learned that Brian could come visit Gus whenever he wanted.

"Did you have to twist her arm or did you promise, God forbid, wild, uncensored lesbian sex?" Brian asked.

"Briiiiaaaannn!" Lindsay objected.

"We better go," Justin said starting to leave and hoping Brian would follow him. When they got to the van Justin turned to Brian. "Want to go to lunch somewhere?" Justin asked.

Brian stared up at him. "You think you're pretty smart. Sure, I'll go to lunch with you. And when I freak out you can be there to pick up the fucking pieces. Is that what you want? Then you can feel all saintly and righteous looking after the poor, pathetic cripple."

Justin glared back. "You know, if you weren't in that fucking chair, I'd break your goddam legs for you, you sanctimonious son of a bitch."

"Okay, then," Brian said sheepishly. "Let's go to lunch."

Justin's mouth dropped open. This maddening, enigmatic, arrogant asshole would be the death of him, but he couldn't think of a better way to go, except maybe dying in bed with this maddening, enigmatic, arrogant asshole. "Sure," was all he said.

When they returned to the loft a while later Brian was riding a high. He had managed to get through lunch at a little outdoor café Justin had recommended. He had had a couple of tense moments, but he had weathered them. He was proud to say that he had done lunch.

As they waited for the elevator Justin said, "Um, I hope you don't mind but I need to run an errand."

Brian blanched. He couldn't stop himself. This sounded all too familiar. "What do you have to do?" Brian asked before he could stop himself.

"I can't tell you. It has to do with what I have for you tomorrow."

Brian looked at him quizzically. He didn't know whether to pursue it further.

"I have to go to the gallery tonight, so can we make a date for coffee tomorrow morning?" Justin asked.

"A date!" Brian snorted. "I used to say that I didn't do dates, and I've never had one."

"Then this will be a whole new experience for you," Justin grinned.

"God, the things you make me do!"

"Does that mean you'll be there?"

Brian nodded. Justin headed for the front door turning once to give Brian one of his megawatt smiles.

"I am so fucked," Brian said to himself as he wheeled into the elevator.

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