Domestic Bliss

I Love You

"Mama," Gus said, "how do you write 'I love you'?"

"Why do you want to know that, sweetie?" Lindsay asked looking at what her son was doing on the coffee table.

"I need it," was Gus' answer.

"What are you making?" Lindsay asked squatting down beside her son.

"Something for Dada and Justin," the four year old replied.

"What is it?" Lindsay asked studying the piece of stiff paper that held various chunks of plasticine.

"A card," Gus replied matter of factly.

"Tell me what you've made," Lindsay requested wondering what it was supposed to mean.

"That's the lake where Dada and Justin took me a looooong time ago." Gus pointed to the blue blob on the paper.

"It wasn't that long, sweetheart," Lindsay said with a chuckle. For Gus it must seem like forever but it was only last summer. "What else do you have there?"

"That's the cabin," Gus said pointing to a brown blob. "And there's the dock. We watched the sunset and Dada and Justin stuck their feet in the water. I want to see if my feet will reach. I'm taller now," Gus stated emphatically.

"Yes you are. Where do you want to put the 'I love you'?"

"Here and here," Gus said pointing to two spots not completely covered with plasticine.

"What do you think about putting the 'I love you's' inside a heart?"

"Oh yes," Gus gushed and clapped his hands.

Lindsay cut out two little hearts and inside each she printed 'I love you'. She helped Gus with the glue stick and they placed them on the card with the plasticine. "That looks good, sweetie. Daddy and Justin will love it."

Gus smiled. He picked up a marker and on the only remaining space on the paper, he carefully wrote a squiggle. Lindsay watched as Gus' face scrunched up in concentration. His little tongue came out the corner of his mouth and he frowned as he diligently made his mark, just like they had practised so many times before. "All done!" Gus said with a big smile.

"What is that?" Lindsay asked although she was pretty sure she knew.

"I signed the card. See," Gus said shoving the card towards her.

"G for Gus," Lindsay said. Gus nodded proud of his efforts. "But it's upside down," Lindsay said looking at the way they had placed the 'I love you' hearts."

"That's okay. Dada and Justin will know it's from me."

"Yes," Lindsay said with a laugh. "I'm sure they will. When do you want to give this to your daddy?"

"Now!" Gus said emphatically.

"Daddy's at work."

"Now!" Gus repeated frowning and getting that look of impending tantrum.

"What if we call daddy and ask him if we can bring the card over tonight?" Lindsay suggested.

Gus nodded pleased that he would be able to talk to his Dada right away. He waited patiently while Lindsay dialed. He also tried to remember the pattern of buttons that she pushed. He might want to call his Dada all by himself.

"Hi Cynthia," Lindsay said into the phone. "It's Lindsay, and I have someone here who wants to talk to his Dada right now." Lindsay laughed and waited smiling at her son.

"Brian? I'm sorry to disturb you, but Gus is an impatient little cuss today. I'll let you talk to him." She handed the phone to Gus.

"Dada?" Gus asked holding the phone and doing his best to look grown-up.

"Hey, Sonny Boy, what's up?" Brian asked with a smile.

"I made you something. Can you come get it?"

"I … I'm at work, Gus. I have a meeting in a few minutes."

Gus frowned. "But it's very important," Gus said his bottom lip trembling.

Brian sighed. "Put mommy back on for a minute," Brian said softly.

Gus handed the phone to his mother and laid his head down on the coffee table. He wasn't going to see his Dada. His Dada was going to let him down … once again.

"Brian," Lindsay began, "I suggested that I bring Gus and his gift over after dinner tonight. Would that be all right?"

"That works for me. In fact," Brian said thoughtfully, "why don't you bring his stuff and he can stay all night. I'll take him to preschool in the morning."

"Just a minute," Lindsay said. "Gus, Daddy wants to know if you would like to spend the night with him and Justin."

Gus sat up, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He nodded vehemently.

"I think that's a yes," Lindsay laughed. "I'll bring him over after dinner."

"See you both then," Brian said. "Oh, and put Gus back on for a moment."

"Dada," Gus said.

"I can't come over now, Sonny Boy, but we'll have fun tonight. Okay?"

"Okay, Dada."

"See you tonight," Brian said and hung up the phone. He had to get to his next fucking meeting with the art department, but he needed to remember what was important to a four year old. Sometimes that took precedence over business.

-----

Lindsay and Gus arrived as Brian and Justin were finishing dinner.

"You're just in time for some ice cream," Justin said to Gus.

"This is for you and Dada," Gus said as he extended his arms. He held his somewhat fragile card on the palms of his hands like a tray.

"What's this?" Justin asked.

"Bring it here, Sonny Boy," Brian said sitting at the table and beckoning to his son.

"He worked very hard at getting this just right," Lindsay said with a smile.

Brian took the card and set it gently on the table. He studied the blobs of plasticine trying to make sense of what Gus had made. He lifted the little boy onto his lap and thought about what he could say. Suddenly he remembered Justin's rule about asking the artist what his work meant. "So, Sonny Boy, tell me all about your card."

Gus smiled up at his father. He liked explaining everything. Sometimes adults just didn't understand. "This is the lake where we went with Justin a loooong time ago." His little finger pointed to the blue blob and then moved to a brown blob. "And this is the cabin. Do you remember, Dada?" Brian nodded and smiled. That had been a great trip despite his initial misgivings. "And there's the dock."

"Gus wants to see if his feet will touch the water now," Lindsay said smiling at her two favorite boys.

"He does, does he?" Brian smirked beginning to understand the method to Gus' madness.

Gus nodded his head and continued. "Those are the trees and that's the barbecue where we cooked the fish, and there's the sun," Gus added pointing to a yellow blob.

"The sun?" Brian asked.

"Remember, Dada, the lake went pink, but I didn't have that color," Gus explained with a frown.

"Sunset," Justin said with a wistful look. "It was beautiful."

"Yeah, it was," Brian admitted noting the look on Justin's face. "And what's this?" Brian asked pointing to the hearts.

"The 'I love you's'," Gus said emphatically.

"The 'I love you's'?" Brian repeated.

"I love you, Dada," Gus said, "and I love you, Justin."

"That's sweet, Gus," Justin said leaning over to give Gus a kiss.

Brian watched and wondered why he had never written "I love you's" to anyone in his life. At least his son wasn't deprived of that. "Thank you, Sonny Boy," Brian said kissing Gus on the cheek.

Gus scrunched around and wrapped his little arms around his father's neck. "Can we go there this summer?" Gus whispered into his father's ear.

Brian chuckled out loud. Here he was getting all sentimental and verklempt and his son was playing him. Brian looked up at Lindsay and saw the knowing look on her face.

"Gus has his methods for getting what he wants," Lindsay observed with a smile. She was waiting to see what Brian would do.

"You know, Gus," Brian began, "that cabin belongs to Justin's uncle. We'll have to ask him if we can come for another visit this summer. He might not have any space for us."

"Yes he will!" Gus stated emphatically. "I know he will."

Brian sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. "Justin, do you think you could ask your uncle about us using the cottage for a weekend?"

"I'll try. It's the least I can do for someone who tells me they love me," Justin said with a wink at Gus and a knowing look at Brian.

Brian saw the look and realized that he didn't say, "I love you," very often to his partner. Maybe there was a lesson here that he needed to learn.

"I need to go," Lindsay said. "Mel's getting a chick flick at the rental store. We're having popcorn and a movie and undoubtedly a make out session to follow."

"Way too much information!" Brian said as Lindsay headed for the door.

"Gus' bag is by the front door. Make sure he gets to school on time," Lindsay called.

"Mama," Gus yelled slithering down from Brian's lap. "I love you!" He flung himself at Lindsay's legs and she hauled him up kissing his cheek and his forehead and his lips.

"Love you back, baby," Lindsay said.

"I'm not a baby," Gus objected.

"I know, sweetie," she admitted. "Just don't grow up too fast."

Gus gave her a quizzical look and then squiggled his way down running back to the table where Justin had set out a bowl of ice cream for him. "Bye, Mama," he called and then dug into the ice cream.

Lindsay waved and headed out the door.

"So," Brian said, "what made you think about the cabin?" He really wanted to know. He could hardly believe that Gus even remembered that trip. He didn't notice the look that Justin gave him. Justin knew that if Gus had been distracted by the ice cream, it was better not to bring up the cabin again. Let sleeping topics lie.

Gus had his mouth full of ice cream. After he swallowed enough to breathe he said, "I'm a big boy now. I want to fish and walk in the woods and put my feet in the lake."

"But you already did all those things," Brian replied obviously not getting the point.

"No, Dada, my feet wouldn't touch the water."

"What?" Brian asked.

"When we sat on the dock to watch the sunset, my feet wouldn't touch the water. Now they will."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just … know," Gus said as he finished up his ice cream. He lifted the bowl and held it out towards Justin. "All done."

"Thanks, partner," Justin said taking the empty bowl. "Why don't you go play in the family room? I need to talk to your Dada."

"What?" Brian asked as soon as Gus disappeared.

"I'll try to get the cottage," Justin said, "but my uncle and his family may not have a time available. What do we do then?"

"We could rent some place else on the lake," Brian suggested.

"You'd do that?" Justin asked with a frown.

"Sure, why not?"

Justin stared at his partner. Sometimes Brian surprised him even after all this time. The fact that he would take the time and spend the money to fulfill Gus' wish didn't surprise him, as much as the fact that Brian was willing to take the initiative in the whole thing. Usually it was Justin who had to take the lead, make the plans, and then somehow cajole Brian into doing whatever it was. This was a new wrinkle.

After a minute Justin shrugged and went to load the dishwasher. Brian went to see what Gus was doing in the family room. As Brian entered the room he could see immediately that Gus was nowhere to be found. "Gus!" Brian called. There was no answer. "Gus!" Brian said even louder feeling panic rise. The first thing he thought of was the pool. He ran to the patio doors finding them closed and locked. There was no little boy lying face down on the water. Brian felt his heart rate slow down a little bit as he realized Gus had to be somewhere in the house. "Gus!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. He stood still and listened. He could hear giggling from the dining room. He quickly made his way towards the sound of laughter. "Where are you?" Brian demanded standing in the doorway and not seeing Gus anywhere. He heard more giggling from under the table. "What are you doing down there?"

"I'm in my fort," Gus said peeking out at Brian from between two chairs.

"Your fort?" Brian asked.

"Come on in, Dada. You can help me talk to the dragon."

"You have a dragon to talk to?" Brian asked. "Aren't you scared?"

"He's really a nice dragon and sometimes he does scare little boys. He won't scare me though."

"Then you don't need your Daddy's help," Brian said.

"He's very big, Dada. Come help me."

"Should we get Justin too?" Brian asked. He saw Gus nod. "Justin," Brian called turning to find his partner standing behind him watching what was going on. "Gus needs our help."

"So I see," Justin said getting down on his knees and crawling under the table. Brian followed suit drawing a strange look from Justin.

Once they were all firmly ensconced under the table Gus told them to be very quiet so they could hear the dragon when he decided to come get them. They waited in silence with Gus saying, "Sh," every few seconds. He held his finger to his lips. Brian and Justin looked at each other and smiled. Finally Gus sat up straight and said, "Here he comes."

"Which way?" Justin asked. Gus pointed to the side of the table.

"Mr. Dragon, don't be mad," Gus said. "We love you."

"You love the dragon?" Brian asked his son.

"If we don't love him, who will, Dada?" Gus asked

"You've got me, Sonny Boy," Brian replied sarcastically. That earned him a poke in the ribs from Justin. "Ow!" he protested.

"Sh, or you'll scare the dragon," Justin told him. Brian glared at his partner.

"The dragon says his name is Hector," Gus contributed.

"Hector?" Brian snarked. "What kind of name is that?" He got another poke from Justin.

"It's a very nice name, Dada. You shouldn't make fun of dragons."

"Sorry, Sonny Boy," Brian replied watching the wheels in Gus' head turn.

"Hector says his throat is very dry from the fire. He wants some ice cream to cool it down."

"He does, does he?" Brian asked.

"I'll get him some, Gus," Justin volunteered. "Should I bring four spoons and then we can help Hector eat it." Gus nodded enthusiastically. Justin crawled out from under the table and went to the kitchen for ice cream.

"Hector says he will give us a ride on his back after he has his ice cream," Gus told his father.

"I can hardly wait," Brian replied.

Justin crawled back under the table with a bowl of ice cream. He and Gus and presumably Hector dug into the ice cream.

"Eat, Dada," Gus ordered. "There's too much for Hector. We have to help him."

Brian ate a couple of mouthfuls and then watched his two boys polish off the rest of it. "Does Hector feel better now?" he asked.

"Much," Gus replied. "Let's go for a ride."

"This I've got to see," Brian said waiting to see how Gus could pull off flying around the room on an imaginary dragon.

"Lift me up, Dada," Gus commanded as he slid out from under the table. Brian crawled after him. "Hector's very big. You have to lift me up."

Brian picked up his son and held him above his head. The little boy slid onto Brian's shoulders. "Go, Dada," Gus cried kicking Brian with his feet to get him started.

Then Brian understood Gus' methods. Brian was the dragon and Gus was going to get his ride around the house. Brian ran from room to room ducking in the doorways so Gus didn't hit his head. He bent and swooped like he imagined a dragon in flight would. Gus squealed and cried out in excitement and a little bit of fear at racing around so high up from the ground. Brian made three circuits through the house. As he headed into the family room the last time he lifted Gus from his shoulders and tossed the little boy onto the soft cushions of the sofa. Gus landed with a startled cry that turned into wails of delight as he bounced a couple of times.

"Thanks, Hector," Gus called. "I'll see you tomorrow." He waved at the imaginary dragon.

"Where's Hector going?" Brian asked still panting from his exertions of flying Gus around the house.

"Hector's tired. He has to go home and take care of his babies."

"He has babies?"

Gus nodded, "Five."

"Wow, busy dragon," Brian reacted, "and prolific."

Justin chuckled. "It's always sex to you, isn't it?"

"That's life," Brian observed finally getting his breathing to slow down. "I need to cut down on those damn cigarettes if I'm going to play with Hector."

Justin laughed and gave his silly partner a kiss. "That would suit me just fine."

"So, what's next on the agenda?" Brian asked.

"Ice cream," Gus yelled.

"I think you've had enough ice cream for one night, Sonny Boy. Besides, Hector isn't here to help us eat it."

Gus looked slightly upset.

"How would you like to watch 'Mary Poppins', Gus?" Justin asked. He knew it was one of Gus' favorite movies.

"Yay," Gus cried clapping his hands. Ice cream was all but forgotten.

Justin put the movie in and they all sat on the sofa watching the classic tale. After a bit Gus snuggled down putting his head on Justin's lap and Brian got up and went to the kitchen. By the time the movie was just about over Gus was almost asleep but fighting to stay awake till the end. Brian had not returned. Justin frowned wondering what Brian was doing. He would have liked to go find the man but he had a little bundle curled up against his leg and he didn't want to disturb him.

When the movie was finally over Justin picked up a sleepy Gus and went looking for his father. Brian was nowhere to be found on the main floor. Justin carried Gus up the stairs and called for Brian. The man came out of their bedroom and took his sleepy son.

"Run the bath, will you, Justin," Brian asked. "I'll get his clothes off and bring him in."

Gus whimpered a bit preferring to crawl into bed without a bath. Brian knew they would have a hard time in the morning if he didn't have his bath now. He carried the naked boy into the bathroom where Justin had the water all warm and ready. Brian sat his son down in the tub and started washing gently with the soap.

"Where's Ducky?" Gus asked waking up now that he was in the water and had something to occupy him.

"I haven't seen Ducky lately," Brian replied. "Justin, do you know where Ducky is?"

"Right here," Justin said coming back into the bathroom. "He was visiting our tub. His usual playmate wasn't here, so Daddy had to keep him company."

Brian glowered at his partner and mouthed, "You'll pay later."

Justin laughed and helped Ducky swim circles around Gus. Gus giggled and splashed and enjoyed his bath. Then they had trouble getting him out of the tub. Finally Gus gave Ducky a kiss, told him that he loved him and let his father lift him out of the tub into the big fluffy towel that Justin held out to him.

They managed to get Gus into his pajamas and tucked under his covers. The boy was quite wide awake by this time. "Story, Dada," Gus said looking up at the two adults with wide eyes.

Brian groaned. He was no good at making up stories. He looked to Justin for help, but his ever helpful partner just shrugged.

"Dada," Gus said. "Once upon a time…"

Brian wracked his brain trying to think of a story he could use. "Once … upon … a … time," he said slowly buying some time. Then it came to him. "Once upon a time there was a friendly dragon named Hector."

Gus smiled and snuggled down into his bed. He obviously liked how this was starting. Justin grinned and settled on the end of the bed to hear what Brian was going to say.

"Hector was a very big dragon with five little baby dragons that he had to look after. Hector loved the babies very much," Brian said as he brushed Gus' hair back from his forehead.

"Like you love me, Dada?" Gus asked.

"Just like that. One day Hector was out getting ice cream for the babies. He flew over the lake and … and saw Ducky swimming in the lake all by himself. Hector flew down to get a drink of water because being a fire-breathing dragon made his throat very dry."

Gus giggled and closed his eyes.

"Ducky was surprised to see a big dragon so close and tried to swim away. Hector called to Ducky and told him not to be afraid. He was looking for ice cream, not ducks, to take back to his babies. Ducky told Hector that his friend Gus always had ice cream and would share with him. Hector thanked Ducky and flew off to find Gus."

"He's asleep, Brian," Justin whispered.

Brian leaned in and kissed the cheek of his son. "I love you, Sonny Boy," he said before he stepped away.

"I love you too, Gus," Justin said giving the sleeping boy a kiss before he turned out the light and went to join Brian downstairs.

"I think I'd like an early night," Brian said as he put the "Mary Poppins" DVD back in its case. "How about you?"

"I could be talked into it," Justin said with a smile.

"If you get the lights, I'll check the front door and meet you in the bedroom."

"Deal," Justin said.

They each did their jobs and quickly made their way upstairs.

"I'm going to take a quick shower," Justin said. "Care to join me?"

"No, no thanks. You go ahead. I'll be waiting for you when you come out," Brian said.

Justin frowned. It wasn't like Brian to turn down a dual shower. He went into the bathroom and Brian went to his desk where he had been working on something while his two boys had watched "Mary Poppins". He pulled out his special creation and added one more thing. He smiled to himself as he carried it over to the bed.

He grabbed three flat sheets out of the linen closet and tossed them over the metal frame that connected the tops of the four posts of their bed. He adjusted them until he had made a cozy and completely private area inside. He undressed quickly as he heard the shower go off. He crawled inside and closed the opening by pulling the sheet back over it. He picked up his special surprise and sat cross-legged on the bed holding his surprise.

"Brian?" he heard Justin say. "What's going on? Where are you?"

"I'm in here?" Brian said with a grin. He adjusted his surprise. "Come join me."

Justin slowly pulled back enough of one of the sheets that he could see Brian. He giggled when he saw the man sitting in the middle of the bed holding out a paper flat on the palms of his hands. He looked so much like Gus from earlier in the evening.

"What are you doing?" Justin asked dropping his towel and crawling in naked to join his lover.

"This is for you," Brian said seriously.

"It is?" Justin asked taking the piece of paper.

He studied the blotches of color and the three words inside a hand drawn heart. He wondered what Brian was trying to tell him.

"Tell me about your drawing," Justin said softly.

"This is the lake where we went with Gus a loooong time ago." Justin chuckled. "This is the cabin and the dock where we dipped our feet in the water."

"Ahh, I remember it well."

"And what's this?" Justin asked pointing to the "I love you".

"That's what I don't say to you nearly often enough," Brian admitted. "It took my son to remind me of that tonight."

"It's lovely," Justin said touched.

"I've never made an 'I love you' card for anyone before," Brian admitted.

"Really?"

Brian nodded. "I was … happy that Gus can do it so easily. He loves you and me and Lindsay and Mel and the whole gang and even Hector."

"He loves everybody," Justin agreed.

"In his world even dragons are kind and friendly because we love them. I thought it was time I told you that too. I wouldn't want you to forget that I love you."

"I'll never forget," Justin promised leaning in for a kiss that lasted for quite a while.

"There's a couple of other things on there that you didn't notice," Brian said pointing to the paper.

"Oh," Justin reacted. He studied the paper. "What's this inside the cottage?"

"It's our rings," Brian said softly.

"But why…? Oh my God! You had them with you at the cabin?"

"I wanted to give them to you that weekend but the time just didn't seem right."

"Those rings sure have a checkered history," Justin said shaking his head.

"Yeah."

"Are you suggesting that we start wearing them now?"

"Not unless you feel a great need to do so. I like them in the sculpture."

"Then why are you telling me this now?" Justin asked puzzled.

"I guess I want to be more like my son. He teaches me stuff every day that I'm with him." Justin nodded. "Smart little fucker, isn't he?"

"And a loving one, just like his Daddy," Justin said with tears in his eyes.

"I hope I can live up to his example," Brian said placing his hand over his heart.

Justin was still looking at his card. "What's this down at the bottom?"

"That little yellow thing?"

"Yeah."

"That's Ducky. If you didn't like the card or the sentiment, I was going to say that Ducky made me do it," Brian stated his tongue pushing out his cheek.

Justin burst out laughing. "Trust you to cover all your bases."

Brian smirked at him. "But I'll take all the credit since you seem to like it."

"Like it! I love it. And I love you," Justin said throwing himself at Brian and tumbling them both back onto the bed. "Are you going to fuck me in your lovely little fort, big guy," Justin said with a sexy grin.

"My plan exactly, as long as you agree," Brian replied as his lips captured Justin's.

"It's the least I can do for someone who tells me they love me," Justin giggled as Brian kissed him again.

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