"Yes, Gus."  Brian held his son's hand as they walked down Liberty Avenue towards the diner.


"Why is the sky blue?"


Brian groaned inwardly.  How did he explain something like that to a three year old?  He wasn't even sure how it worked himself.  "It just is," Brian said hoping that would satisfy the little boy who was fully into his "why" stage.




"Would you rather it was pink or yellow or black?" Brian said rather testily not liking the feeling of incompetence that Gus could sometimes inspire in him.


"Pink is pretty," Gus said thoughtfully.


"A queer in the making," Brian thought.


"Yellow is good."


"Little mister sunshine!" Brian thought and smiled when it made him also think of Justin.


"Black is bad," Gus said seriously.


"Why?" Brian parroted his son.


"Funder and lightning," Gus replied, still having some trouble with the "th" sound occasionally.


"Black makes you think of storms?"  Gus nodded.  "Are you afraid of thunder and lightning, Gus?"

"Sometimes," the little boy admitted.


"Don't be, Sonny Boy.  It's just the thunder man playing a game with a big ball.  He rolls it into the clouds and when it hits something you get that loud noise and then there are sparks which we see as lightning."


"Are you sure?" Gus asked.


That was what Brian's grandmother had told him a long time ago when he had been frightened during a thunderstorm.  "I think so.  And when he's through playing we get a rainbow," Brian added.


"I like rainbows," Gus said with a smile.


"Me too."

Gus smiled at him.  "But why is the sky blue?"


Thankfully they had been walking as they were talking and they had arrived at the diner.  Maybe Justin could answer Gus' question.  Brian pushed open the door and they went in.


"Hey, partner," Justin greeted Gus as soon as he saw him.  He picked up the little boy and gave him a kiss.  "And how is my other partner?" Justin asked giving Brian a sweet little kiss too.


"Your partner is tired of answering 'why'."


"Oh," said Justin with a chuckle.  "Which 'why' question is it today?"

"Why is the sky blue?" Brian replied.


"That's an easy one," Justin said.  Brian gave him a look.  "It's God's favorite color, so he spread it all over us.  It's so beautiful."

Gus grinned from ear to ear.  He loved that explanation.  "I love you, Justin," he said kissing the young man again.


Brian scowled.  "What a stupid answer to a stupid question," he thought.


"Little Gus, come give me a hug," Debbie called and Gus squiggled down and ran over to her for a kiss and a hug.


"Since when do you believe in God?" Brian demanded of Justin.


"I don't … in the traditional sense, but Gus does, and it makes him happy to think that God makes all these decisions."


"I suppose," Brian said wondering why things always seemed to be so much easier for other people, especially if they were willing to spread bullshit.


Justin took his break and sat with Brian and Gus in a back booth.  They shared a plate of fries with Justin eating most of them, Gus a few and Brian only one or two.


"Dada," Gus began.


"Yes, Gus."  Brian knew he was going to hate this.


"Why is ketchup red?"


"Aha," Brian thought, "finally one I can answer."  He smiled at his son.  "Because tomatoes are red."  It was so obvious.


"So?" Gus asked giving him a quizzical look.


"Ketchup is made from tomatoes."


"Oh," Gus said.  "Then why does mommy have purple ketchup at home?"

"Fuck," Brian thought.  He wracked his brain for a plausible explanation.  He decided to take a leaf out of Justin's book.  "Because God wanted the world to be colorful so he made some purple tomatoes too."  That was the best he could do on short notice.


"Brian," Justin said in a warning tone.


"What?  You told him almost the same thing about the sky."

Justin gave him a little smirk.  "Just wait."

"Dada, can I have a purple tomato?"

Brian groaned.  Fuck!  Nothing ever went easily for him.  "I don't think so, Gus," he said.




"Shit," Brian grumbled.  "You just can't.  Eat your fries."

Gus looked like he was ready to cry.  Justin decided to rescue Brian from the trauma of a crying little boy.


"Gus," Justin said getting the boy to focus on him.  "You know how many times you see red ketchup?"  Gus nodded, tears glistening in his eyes.  "But you don't very often get purple ketchup, right?"  Again Gus nodded.  "That's because purple tomatoes are quite rare and they all go to make purple ketchup.  You can't buy them in the store."

"Oh," Gus said, the tears receding.  "Can I have ice cream?"

"Deb, one sundae with sprinkles over here," Justin called.


Gus finished his last fry and sat waiting for his sundae, a contented smile on his face.  Justin looked at Brian who glowered back at him. 


"Remind me to kill you when we get home," Brian said.


Justin giggled.  He loved to be able to do stuff that Brian couldn't.  It didn't happen very often because Brian was so good at everything he did.  However, he did enjoy moments like this.  Brian would probably make his ass pay later on, but that wasn't a bad thing.


When Gus had finished gobbling down his ice cream, Brian stood up to leave.  "We need to go, Gus," Brian said.




Justin giggled, and then stopped abruptly when Brian gave him a murderous look.


"Because, Sonny Boy, your mothers will have my nuts in a vise if I don't get you home by four."

"Okay," Gus said understanding that what his mothers said was to be obeyed.


Brian walked out of the diner, Gus' little hand firmly in his.  They would walk back to the loft, get Gus' stuff and he would drive them back to the Munchers'.  They walked along in silence, Gus taking many steps to one of Brian's, his little legs working overtime.


"Dada," Gus said.


"What?" Brian asked expecting another 'why' question.


"Tired.  Carry me."

Brian realized he had been moving along at a good clip, lost in his own thoughts.  "Okay, Sonny Boy.  Have I been walking you too fast?"

Gus nodded.  Brian scooped him up and the little boy wrapped his arms around his father's neck.  He rested his head against Brian's shoulder and throat.  Brian felt a rush of emotion.  He thought there could be no better feeling in the world than the love and trust of this little boy.  Except maybe for the love and trust of Justin, but that was very different, and yet the same in some weird way.  He smiled to himself.  He glanced down at Gus to find a pair of eyes that matched his own staring back at him.  Then Gus looked down at the sidewalk, and then back at his father.



"Yes, Gus."

"Why does the sidewalk have wrinkles?"

"Wrinkles?"  Gus nodded.  "What do you mean it has wrinkles?"

"See. There," Gus said pointing to a big crack as they passed over it.


"Those are cracks in the pavement, Gus," Brian explained.


"Why do you have cracks in your face?"


"When you smile."


"I do not have cracks in my face!"

"Right there," Gus continued pointing to the corner of Brian's eyes.


Brian wanted to scream, throw something, put Gus down and walk away, kill himself.  How could his three year old son be telling him that he had 'cracks', that he was old?  He gritted his teeth and his mouth became a narrow slit across his face.  Brian stomped on down the street, perhaps grasping his son a little tighter than he should.  He felt Gus pushing away from him trying to get some breathing room.  He strode on in silence, his anger boiling inside.


"Dada," Gus said.


"What?" Brian barked at him.




"Please," Gus begged.


"No, I'll just get more cracks."

"I like your cracks."

"You do?"

Gus nodded.  "Make your face pretty.  I can kiss it."

Brian stopped walking.  He could feel his face relaxing.  "You like cracks?  Why?"


"Then you are happy and I can kiss you."


"Is that right?" Brian mused, more to himself than to Gus.  He felt Gus nodding in agreement.  "So you like to see my cracks because you know I'm happy when they're there?"  Gus nodded again, wondering why his father found this so hard to comprehend.  "Then you can kiss me, like this!"


Brian kissed Gus' cheek and then blew a big raspberry in the same spot.  Gus giggled and grabbed onto Brian's neck burying his face in his father's shoulder.  When Gus looked up he got another raspberry as his reward.  Gus giggled with pure joy.  Brian's face broke out in the biggest smile of the day.  Gus looked up wondering if he was going to get another raspberry.


"Cracks," he said pointing to Brian's eyes.  "I like cracks," he repeated.


Brian gave him another raspberry eliciting another round of giggling.  Maybe cracks weren't so bad after all.  He might be able to get used to them if this was what they meant.  Brian walked on, Gus staring at his face and putting his finger on the cracks around Brian's eyes as the man continued to smile.


"Love you, Dada.


"Love you too, Sonny Boy," Brian replied, and he truly did.




Hours later Justin came home from his shift at the diner.  He was pooped.  It had been a very hectic day, nearly double the amount of regular customers.  He didn't know how Debbie did it.  She was eons older than him, yet she was still at the diner, working for two more hours before she was finished for the day.


"Hey," Justin said as he came through the door. 


Brian sat on the sofa watching TV, the sound so low it was barely audible.  "Hey," Brian replied and smiled at his partner.


"What are you smiling at?" Justin asked loving that look on Brian's handsome face.


"You," Brian replied.


"What brought this on?"


"Just felt like it."

"Why?" Justin pursued.


"Jesus, you sound like Gus.  Enough questions!"


"Sorry," Justin said losing his own smile.  "I'm going to take a shower.  I smell like French fries and I ache all over."

"Getting old?" Brian teased.


"Never as old as you," Justin retorted and then was immediately sorry for saying that.  He knew references to aging really ticked Brian off.


Brian laughed.  Justin stared at him.  Brian was laughing about his age.  What had happened to cause this weird turn of events?


"Go get your shower," Brian said.  "I have a surprise for you when you come out."

"You do?"

"That's what I said."

"What surprise?  What's going on?"

"Get your fucking shower and then I'll show you!" Brian ordered, sick to death of questions.


Justin knew better than to argue with that tone of voice.  Besides he didn't want to make Brian angry when he said he had a surprise for him.  It sounded like something good.


It only took Justin about five minutes to shower and towel off.  He hurried as much as he could because he wanted his surprise.  He also wanted to eliminate the smells of the diner, because Brian's surprises usually involved sex and he wanted to smell good for his man.  When he stepped out of the bathroom, Brian was seated naked on the bed.


"Yum, I like my surprise already."


"This isn't the surprise," Brian chuckled.




"Lose the towel and lie down on your stomach."

Justin grinned.  Rimming!  He loved Brian to rim him.  Happily he dropped the towel and slid onto the bed.  He knew his ass would look particularly tempting, all hot and pink from the shower.  He heard a pop like the top of the lube.  Fuck!  He wanted at least a good rimming before they fucked.  He sighed, disappointed, and buried his face in the pillow.


He heard Brian rubbing his hands together warming the lube.  "At least he's heating it up a bit before he rams into me," Justin thought.  He waited for the onslaught.


Suddenly he felt Brian's long fingers kneading the muscles in his shoulders.  A huge sigh escaped from his lips.  A massage!  This was almost as good as rimming.  In fact, at the moment, it was better than rimming.


Justin sighed again as Brian's hands moved down his spine, his thumbs pressing against each vertebra and releasing the tension there.  Brian's hands swept to the sides of Justin's body.  They rubbed up and down, pulling and pushing just hard enough.  Another sigh of contentment escaped the boy.  Brian kneaded his ass, squeezing and pressing.  Justin could feel his cock stiffen in anticipation.  He just knew where Brian's fingers were going to go next.


He heard the pop of the tube again and assumed that Brian was now getting the lube to work on his pucker.  That was fine with him.  He had enjoyed the massage.


Suddenly Brian's hands were all over his left leg, squeezing and rubbing and easing away all the hours that he had stood at the diner.  It felt so good.  Another huge sigh escaped.  He knew Brian would be smiling and that made him smile.  Brian then turned his attention to the other leg working his magic there as well.  Justin felt like a king.  There couldn't possibly be anything better than what was happening to him right now, and he knew a good fucking would follow.


Justin heard the pop of the tube again and waited for Brian's fingers at his hole.  He felt his left foot being raised off the bed and he wondered what Brian was doing.  Brian's knuckles slid along the sole of Justin's foot putting pressure all the way along its length.  Then Brian kneaded the ball of his foot working each movement out to the side of the foot and taking with it all the aches that Justin had felt there.  When Brian pulled each toe, Justin thought his cock was going to explode.  There was something so erotic about having Brian do this to him.  He moaned in satisfaction.


Brian began the same work on the other foot giving it all the attention he had provided to the first one.  The more Brian worked on his foot the harder his cock got.  It was trapped beneath him and he so wanted to start stroking himself, but he knew Brian wouldn't want him to.


When Brian began pulling the toes on this foot, Justin couldn't help himself.  "Oh … oh … oh, God!  Ooooh, Brian," he moaned.  It was all he could do to stop himself from coming there and then.


"Roll over," Brian ordered.


Justin languidly turned over knowing his cock was red and throbbing and fully engorged.


"I see I got the desired effect," Brian said with a grin.  His hand closed around Justin's leaking cock and he stroked it gently using the precum for lubrication.


"That was the best surprise I've ever had," Justin said with a silly grin on his face.  "Who knew that the feet could be so erotic?"


"Every part of you can be erotic, if it's done right."

"How do you know?"

"Years of experience."

"You mean you've done this to other men?" Justin asked hoping against hope that the answer would be no.  He didn't like to think of Brian doing this to someone else, but he was sure he had.


"No, I never did this to anyone else, but I've had lots done to me."

"Oh."  That earned him a smile from the sunshine boy.  Justin looked down at Brian's hand still stroking his cock.  "Are you just going to play with that or are you going to use it for something?"


"I thought you might like to use it on me," Brian said with a little grin.


Justin beamed at him.  Brian still didn't let him fuck him too often, and to have him ask for it was so great.  "After that massage I'm ready, willing and able," Justin stated,


Brian turned onto his stomach and Justin knew he wanted to be rimmed.  He got to work immediately.  His talented tongue worked down Brian's back and then started in on his ass.  Brian groaned and the sound went straight to Justin's dick, making it impossibly harder than it already was.  When Justin's tongue began to dart in and out of Brian's hole the man moaned Justin's name over and over again.  Brian began to push his ass up wanting Justin's tongue to go deeper.  Justin grabbed the lube and started to use his fingers, knowing he couldn't wait much longer.


His fingers spread Brian open eliciting moans and groans of satisfaction.  Justin squirted some more lube onto his palm and stroked his cock with it.  He positioned it at the spasming hole and pressed through the first ring of muscle.  He felt Brian tense up and try to push him out.  He waited until the man relaxed and pushed in about half way.


"I love surprises," he whispered in Brian's ear.


Brian looked over his shoulder at this man who had changed his life so dramatically.  He almost wanted to cry when he felt this close to him.  Instead he said, "Considering that I was going to kill you, and you forgot to remind me of that, you should consider yourself lucky."


"I am lucky," Justin said as he pressed the rest of the way in.  "I think I'm the luckiest man alive, because . I . have . you."  He punctuated each of the last words with a thrust into Brian's delicious ass.  He pounded into the man, finding a rhythm they both liked.  He pulled Brian's hips up off the bed so he could get a better angle and his hand could reach the man's cock.


Since they had been fucking raw, everything was so much more heightened.  The feeling of Brian's tight channel around his bare cock was so different than with a condom.  It felt like heaven.


That was the last rational thought that Justin managed as his orgasm began to build.  His hand jerked off Brian in time with his thrusts into the man's ass and soon they were both coming, explosively and fully.  The cum ran out of Brian's hole as Justin withdrew and he watched it in fascination until Brian turned over.


"Good?" Justin asked.




Justin grinned.  "I don't know why you decided on this surprise tonight, but please feel free to do it anytime."

"So you liked your surprise?"


"Um, hmm."

"Anything for my baby."

Justin giggled.  He liked Brian to call him baby.

Brian pulled Justin against him and kissed the full, red mouth.  He thought about what they had just done and a smile spread across his face.  This was so different from fucking some nameless, transient trick.  This was his life, his and Justin's, and it was good.


"What are you smiling at now?" Justin asked looking into Brian's eyes.



"What's going on, Brian?  You seem different somehow."

"Maybe I am," Brian said mysteriously.


"How?  Why?  What's happened?"

Brian smiled broadly and Justin ran his hand down the side of his face.  He didn't think he would ever see a lovelier sight than this smile on the man he loved.  They had come a long way from what Brian was like at the outset of their 'relationship'.


"Notice anything there?" Brian asked.



"On my face."

"No, why?"

"Look closely."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Around my eyes."

"What about around your eyes?"  Justin looked at Brian's beautiful eyes.  He saw the lines that were becoming a little more prominent when he smiled, but he couldn't figure out why Brian would want him to notice that.  "I don't see anything," he said.


"I have cracks," Brian said proudly.




"Yes, cracks."

"Brian, what are you talking about, or have you cracked?"

"Gus told me that I have cracks."

"What are cracks?"



"You're smiling because you have wrinkles?" Justin asked in amazement.  "You, the man who was never going to grow old, the man who uses hundred dollar a tube eye cream!

"That's right."

"But why?"

"Gus likes it when I smile and have cracks.  Then he can kiss me," Brian said like he was explaining a fact of life to an eight year old.


"He told you that?" Justin asked.  Brian nodded proudly.  "And you liked it, that you have cracks?"


"What the fuck have you done with the real Brian Kinney?"

"He's here."


"And he has cracks?"


"That's right."  Brian smiled, open and genuine and happy.


"Well, if you have cracks and that makes it good to kiss you, then I better get to work."  His lips captured Brian's and they kissed deeply for a few minutes.  Suddenly Justin could feel Brian shaking.  He broke the kiss and looked at his partner.  "Are you laughing?"


Brian nodded.


"I think you've gone nuts."


Justin kissed him again.  "I love you with cracks," he felt compelled to say, really enjoying this new version of Brian Kinney.


"Why?" Brian asked and they both broke into gales of laughter as they thought of Gus and all of his 'why' questions.


Return to Committed