Perfection

Perfection  

 

"Brian," Justin began.

 

"What now?" the man answered with annoyance in his voice.

 

"Well, excuuuuse me."

 

"For what?"



"Interrupting your important life by talking to you."



"Is that what you were doing?" Brian asked deliberately being obtuse.

 

"You are the most exasperating person!"

 

"Really?  I always knew I was superlative."



"You're superlative at a lot of things!" Justin said in his most sarcastic voice.

 

"Such as?"

 

"Let's see – most annoying, most egotistical, most difficult to live with.  Shall I continue?"

 

"Please," said Brian sliding closer to Justin and beginning to nibble on his ear.

 

"Snarkiest, most impatient, most severely honest," Justin continued.  "Most … um…talented, sexiest, best lover," Justin moaned.

 

"Now you're getting to the really important stuff," Brian stated moving down to nibble Justin's neck.

 

"Am I?" Justin whispered losing his train of thought.

 

"Yes," Brian said capturing Justin's lips in a gentle but insistent kiss.

 

"Ummm," Justin moaned.

 

"You taste good," Brian whispered.  His lips rubbed over Justin's and his tongue flicked the roof of the boy's mouth.

 

Brian's hand had wandered to the crotch of Justin's jeans.  He squeezed, feeling the already stiffening organ expand in his fist.  "Somebody's horny!" Brian said in a singsong voice.

 

"Somebody makes me that way!" Justin managed to retort.  He was quickly losing all thought of what he had wanted to talk to Brian about.

 

Brian unzipped Justin's jeans and slid his hand inside.  He could feel the moistness of the boy's precum as his hand snaked into the underpants.  "Somebody's always ready," he singsonged.



"Lucky for somebody that I am," Justin gasped as Brian's fist engulfed his cock and used the precum to lubricate his dick.  Brian's fist moved up and down the shaft.  "Shit!"

 

Brian's hands quickly divested Justin of his remaining clothes.  He pushed the boy down to lie on the couch and spread his own weight over him.  He could feel his own cock straining against Justin's.  Justin pushed his hips up into Brian and grabbed his neck forcing him into a deep and penetrating kiss.  Brian felt Justin unbutton his jeans and free his cock from its confinement.

 

"Fuck me!" Justin gasped.

 

"But of course," Brian replied trying to shove his jeans down while still atop Justin.

 

"Leave them on.  They feel great against my cock."

 

"Okay," Brian said looking into Justin's eyes.  He pushed himself up onto his knees and did up the top button on the jeans.  That left his erect cock sticking out and ready for action.  Justin grasped it firmly and leaned in to kiss the tip.  His tongue slid through the slit licking the precum.

 

"Um," he moaned.

 

Brian grinned at him.  He loved it when Justin was so uninhibited.  He was the sexiest creature alive as far as Brian was concerned.  His combination of youthful innocence and wanton sexuality pushed all of Brian's buttons.  He was the perfect sexual object.  But he was so much more than just sex.  It was his other qualities that made him so special.

 

Brian reached for the lube and squirted it in Justin's hole.  The boy gasped as the cold gel penetrated him.  Brian's fingers weren't far behind.  They scissored in and out opening the pucker to take the girth of Brian's cock.  Justin rolled his head back and forth, shutting his eyes and giving himself over to the pleasure of Brian's experienced digits. They found his prostate and he arched off the couch crying out his enjoyment.

 

Brian looked at the delicious creature beneath him.  He truly was beautiful, the golden hair, the flawless skin, the pink lips.  His cock strained toward the spot it wanted to be.  Brian gave up listing Justin's attributes in his head.  His body was taking over, demanding that he find release. 

 

Brian's hand quickly lubed his cock.  Hands grasped Justin's hips holding him in place.  Hands pulled Justin toward him and the boy was impaled on his throbbing dick.

 

"God!" Brian gasped.  He never got enough of his boy.  Every time he entered him was better than the last, every time was new and wonderful, every time was exquisite.

 

Brian pumped forward.  He was fully inside and he loved the tightness around his cock.  He could stay there forever.  Justin's eyes were still closed.  Brian drew back and thrust hard and fast.  The boy's eyes fluttered open in surprise.  He looked at Brian.

 

For a fraction of a second Justin saw what Brian was seeing.  He saw that Brian looked at him with want, with need, with adoration, and even with unbridled love.  His heart felt like it was going to explode.  He knew Brian loved him.  The man even told him that, occasionally.  But it wasn't often that Brian let his true emotions play out on his face.  He was usually so guarded.  Justin cherished this moment and he beamed his sunshine smile in response.

 

"What?" Brian asked, smiling back at him.

 

"I love you so much," Justin whispered.  He knew he better not mention what he had just seen or it would be harder to get it to happen again.

 

"That goes without saying," Brian grinned.

 

"And you love me just as much."



"Yes … I do."



"Then fuck the shit out of me!" Justin commanded.

 

Brian smiled again and drawing back, he thrust into his lover, rotating his hips.

 

Justin shrieked, "Oh, oh, ohhhhhhh!"  The combination of well-worn denim and cool metal buttons against his cock and Brian's throbbing dick rotating in his ass was almost more than he could stand.

 

"Feel good?" Brian asked enjoying the reactions he could produce in Justin.

 

"Unbelievable!"

 

"Then let's continue."



Brian drove deep and hard with each thrust making sure he rotated his hips to get the denim to rub across Justin's dick.  The boy moaned and keened his pleasure pushing Brian to continue his actions.  Brian loved to give Justin pleasure and the boy was really getting off on this.

 

Justin clutched at Brian's arms.  He wanted this to continue forever, but he knew he was reaching his limit.  His balls drew up and he felt those little jolts of anticipation.  He would be lost in a moment or two.

 

"Brian!" he gasped and the man knew he was ready. 

 

Brian thrust rapidly into his lover feeling his own orgasm building.  He looked down at Justin knowing this would be over in a few seconds.  He wondered how many times they had reached this point in the course of their checkered history, but it never got old or predictable.  He felt his own orgasm approaching and he slammed frantically into Justin all other thoughts being pushed aside.  A few more thrusts and they both were coming, hard and earth-shattering and long.

 

They lay locked together on the couch neither able to speak or move for a few moments.  Finally Brian raised his head from Justin's chest.  He grinned at the boy whose mouth hung open still sucking in much needed air.

 

"You wanted to talk to me?" Brian said smugly.

 

"I did?"

 

"That's what you said."

 

"Oh?"

 

"So what is it?"

 

"Give me a minute," Justin said, frantically trying to make his memory cells function.  He was sure there was something he had wanted to say.

 

Brian chuckled.  He loved to do this to Justin.  The boy was so smart and could even out-argue him, sometimes.  This was the best way to confuse him and keep him off balance.  He knew he could bamboozle Justin now, if he didn't want to do whatever was going to be requested of him.

 

Justin tried to focus.  There were still little ripples of pleasure coursing through him.  He called them aftershocks and he loved when they happened.  However, that made it very hard for him to concentrate and he was sure that he had something important to ask Brian.

 

"I'm waiting," Brian said beginning to nuzzle Justin's neck.

 

"Shit!" Justin gasped.  "Stop, please!  I do have something to tell you, but I need to concentrate."



"So concentrate.  Who's stopping you?" Brian teased chewing softly on a dutifully responding nipple.

 

"You are," Justin said as harshly as he could muster.  "You know exactly what you're doing."

 

"And what might that be?"

 

"Distracting me.  Making me forget.  Oh God!  Turning me on!"  Justin rambled on.  He pushed Brian back trying to make him stop.  "Please, let me think," Justin pleaded.

 

"I like you better when you don't think."

 

"No, you don't."

 

"How do you know?"

 

"I know everything about you.  I'm on to you."

 

"So what am I doing right now?" Brian challenged.

 

"You're distracting me so I can't ask you something that you might not want to do."



"Fuck!" Brian spat out.  The kid really did have his number.

 

"I remember!" Justin said triumphantly.

 

"What?" Brian gave in, stopping his attack on Justin's pleasure zones.

 

"Saturday is my mother's birthday.  I want us to take her and maybe Molly out to dinner, some place special."



"Are you nuts?"

 

"No, why do you ask that?"  Justin looked the picture of innocence as he stared up at Brian.

 

"You know that your mother is not one of my biggest fans and never will be."

 

"She's come a long way, Brian.  She knows you love me."

 

"She tolerates me at best."

 

"You're being too harsh.  She loved the bowl we brought her from Ireland.  She hugged you."

 

"And what a heartwarming experience that was!" Brian said sarcastically.

 

"Don't be mean!  You seemed to enjoy it at the time."

 

"I didn't say she doesn't try.  She certainly has made progress since we've been together, but I'm not sure we'll ever be comfortable with each other."

 

"Brian, please, just say you'll be there.  I know she'll appreciate it."



"I guess I didn't do a good enough job of distracting you," Brian said shaking his head.  He gave in.  "All right, I'll go."



"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Justin gushed kissing all over Brian's face.

 

"You better stop that or we're going to be into another session of Distraction 101."



"Sounds good to me."



The kisses escalated in intensity until all thought of the birthday dinner was erased from both their minds.

 

                                                                  -----

 

Saturday evening Brian and Justin sat in Pappagano's.  They were waiting for Jennifer to arrive.  She had had a late showing of a house and was meeting them afterwards for dinner.  Molly had decided to go to a friend's house for a sleepover.

 

"I'm hungry," Justin said.  "I wish mom would hurry up."



"I wish this was over," Brian replied.

 

Justin made a face at him.

 

"Justin, you know better than to act like that in public," Jennifer warned her son as she approached the table.

 

"Sorry, mom," Justin said standing to give her a kiss on the cheek.

 

"Brian," she acknowledged the other man as he stood and held her chair for her.  "Thank you."



"Would you like a drink?" Brian asked. 

 

"Red wine, please."



Brian signaled the waiter who took the order and disappeared.

 

"Did you sell the house?" Justin asked.

 

"Probably not.  They're thinking about it which usually means that they can't afford it or aren't ready to make the commitment."

 

Justin and Brian looked at each other upon hearing Jennifer's interesting choice of words.  Justin could feel the blush rising up his cheeks.

 

"Shall we order?" Brian asked picking up his menu and deflecting attention from his partner's reddening face. 



Justin gave him a mouthed, "Thank you."

 

The waiter brought Jennifer's wine and took their orders.  Brian raised his glass and proposed a toast to the birthday girl.  He thought he caught a hint of a blush on Jennifer's face when he used that term to describe her.

 

"Please don't ask which birthday this is," Jennifer said with a little laugh.

 

"A gentleman never asks a lady about her age," Brian said gallantly.

 

Jennifer smiled at him and he swore there was a little more of a blush.

 

"I already know your age, mom, and I won't tell," Justin said.

 

"Thanks, sweetheart."



Their salads arrived and they began eating in relative silence.  Jennifer asked her son if school had started all right, and if he was keeping up with his assignments.  Justin nodded and Brian gave him a smile.

 

"Are you still making sure he does his homework?" Jennifer asked Brian teasingly.

 

"No, I'm not," Brian stated in a serious manner.  "Your little boy is all grown up.  He does his own work, makes his own schedules and is quite successful at whatever he puts his mind and talent to."

 

"Really!  That sounds like a very adult arrangement.  I'm impressed."



"We are adults, mom," Justin felt compelled to say.

 

"Of course, darling."



"I'm going to the restroom," Justin said having finished his salad.

 

"Hurry back," Brian ordered amiably, only half joking.  He didn't particularly want to be alone with Jennifer.

 

"So, how's work?"

"Peachy."

 

Jennifer giggled.  "I'm just trying to make small talk."

 

"I know."



"You know, Brian, I'm not looking for trouble.  I would really like for all of us to get along."



"So would I."

 

"Then what's the problem."

 

"Um … nothing, nothing at all."



"Brian, I know that's not true.  Please, be honest with me."

 

"Are you sure you want me to?"

 

"Yes, or I wouldn't ask you."



"Whenever we're together I have the distinct feeling that you're waiting for me to make some huge faux pas so that you can tell Justin to go find someone more suitable.  I know you don't think I'm the right one for your son.  You thought Ethan was much more what you were looking for in a son-in-law."

 

"You're not my son-in-law," Jennifer stated firmly.  "And whatever I thought of Ethan, he's no longer part of the equation."

 

Brian sighed.  He had known it would be useless to tell her how she made him feel.  She thought she was being the perfect mother, never a wrong word or incorrect step.  She was perfect, so whatever she did had to be right.

 

Justin returned as the waiter cleared their salad plates.  Brian immediately stood and headed for the restroom without a word of explanation. 

 

"What happened?" Justin asked his mother as he looked at Brian's retreating back.

 

"Nothing, nothing happened."



"I know better."

 

It was Jennifer's turn to sigh.  "He seems to think that I'm waiting for him to make a mistake so that I can tell you to get rid of him.  Like you'd listen to me anyway!"

 

"And aren't you, mom?"



"What?  What do you mean?"



"I get the same feeling.  You always look at Brian like you can barely tolerate him.  You're wary and cautious around him like you're afraid of him.  No wonder he doesn't feel comfortable with you."

 

"Is that how I come across?  Because it's not true."

 

Brian returned and slid into his seat.  They all smiled uncomfortably at one another.  Most of the meal was eaten in silence with a few mostly failed attempts at conversation.  Brian caught Jennifer giving him some strange looks.  She would immediately glance away as soon as she realized that Brian knew she was watching him.  He had the distinct impression that she wanted to say something, but was holding back.

 

"She probably wants to list my faults and tell me all the reasons I'm not good enough for her baby boy," Brian thought to himself.

 

Finally the main course was over.  The waiter brought coffee and the little cake with a candle that Brian had arranged for ahead of time.  Jennifer was pleasantly surprised and a little embarrassed that they had gone to all this trouble for her.  She thanked Justin for being so thoughtful.

 

"Mom, I didn't do this.  I didn't know anything about the cake until it arrived at the table.  Brian must have done it."



Brian looked sheepish.  "Guilty as charged," Brian said.  "I just thought you might like it."



"Well, thank you, Brian.  That was very … considerate." 

 

Brian noted the hesitation before her last word.  "She has to think of a polite, non-committal word to describe what I've done.  She can't just fucking say thank you with any amount of sincerity," Brian thought.  He shook his head as he looked at this woman who was so important to Justin and whose standards he could never live up to.  He could never be what she wanted for Justin.  He was not good enough in her eyes and he was sure he never would be.

 

Finally dinner was over and Brian picked up the check.  He left a healthy tip and they got up to leave.

 

"Well, thank you … both … for making this a very special evening for me," Jennifer stated.

 

"You're welcome, mom," Justin replied.  "I hope you enjoyed your dinner."



"Oh, I did, honey.  Thank you too, Brian," she said rather formally.

 

"Any time!" Brian replied trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

 

They headed outside and Brian and Justin walked Jennifer to her car.  As she drove off, Justin heard his lover let out a long breath.

 

"That went pretty well," Justin said.

 

"It was a barrel of fucking laughs!  I can hardly wait for the next time!"

 

"Brian, don't be so negative."

 

"Me!  What about your mother?  She doesn't appreciate a fucking thing I do.  It's never good enough."

 

"She thanked you and she said she enjoyed her dinner."

 

"Well, she fucking gave me indigestion!" Brian snarled as they arrived at the Jeep.

 

"Let's go home and I'll make it up to you in the very best way that I can."



"Your ass is going to be so sore you won't be able to sit down for a week."



"Promises!  Promises!" Justin said with a grin.  That earned him a long, deep kiss before they got into the car.

 

                                                                -----

 

Sunday morning Brian sat at his computer.  Justin had gone to the diner for a morning shift.  He would be back about 2 pm.  Brian grinned as he thought about their activities last night.  The boy had done his best to obliterate the memory of dinner with Jennifer.  They had fucked again and again until Brian was sure his dick was going to fall off.  He wasn't sure how Justin had been able to walk this morning.  His gait had been a little tentative as he left for work.  Brian smiled at the memory.

 

Suddenly the buzzer sounded indicating that someone was at his front door.  Most people knew not to bother him on a Sunday morning.  He was usually fucking Justin and had made it clear to their friends that this was a bad time to call.

 

He pressed the intercom and snarled, "What?"

 

"Brian?" a female voice said.

 

"Jennifer?  Is that you?"



"Yes, may I come up?"



"Um … sure, but Justin isn't here."



"I know.  I want to talk to you."



Brian buzzed her up.  He couldn't think of anything he less wanted to do than spend Sunday morning chatting with Jennifer Taylor.  He wondered for a moment if he had time to call Justin and tell him to get his butt home.  Jennifer knocked on the loft door as the end of that thought skittered across Brian's brain.

 

"Shit!" he muttered as he pulled back the door and plastered on his best smile.

 

"Good morning, Brian.  May I come in?" Jennifer asked.

 

"Sure."



Jennifer entered the loft looking around rather tentatively.

 

"No one's here," Brian said somewhat harshly.  "I told you Justin's at work and I don't have a trick stashed in the bathroom."

 

"I…I didn't think that you did."

 

Brian knew that was exactly what she had been thinking.  He promised himself that he would never tell her that he and Justin were in a committed relationship.  Her opinion of him was about as low as it could get and she deserved to never feel secure about her son's relationship with him, if that was how she felt.

 

"Would you like some coffee?" Brian asked.

 

"Do you have something stronger?"

 

Brian snorted.  That was the last thing he had expected Jennifer to ask.  "Name your poison.  I have just about anything you could want."  It was barely noon.

 

"Red wine, please," she said quickly.  She knew she needed to keep her wits about her, but she also knew how hard this conversation was going to be.

 

Brian poured her a glass of wine and got a shot of Beam for himself.  He wasn't looking forward to this conversation any more than she seemed to be.

 

"So what can I do for you?" Brian asked when they were seated in the living room, she on the couch and he in a chair.

 

"I felt very uncomfortable at dinner last night," she said.  "I think you have the wrong impression of me."

"I doubt that," Brian replied rather harshly.

 

"I really don't like all this tension between us.  I know that you and Justin seem to have made some sort of life together and that's the way things are.  I'd like to be on better terms with you," she said taking a big drink of her wine as she finished that statement.

 

Brian snorted.  "I doubt that's going to happen."



"Why?"



Brian sighed.  "Did you hear what you just said?  Justin and I don't have 'some sort of life together'.  We live together.  We love and support each other."

 

"But he's still a boy.  I don't see how you can have an adult relationship with someone who is a teenager.  He has his whole life ahead of him.  He's going to grow and change and then will you still want him?"



"Justin is more of a man than just about any person I've ever met.  I respect him.  I want him to grow and change.  He helps me to do that too, and I try to return the favor."



Jennifer was floored.  She didn't know what to say in response to that.  She had never thought that Justin helped Brian in any way other than sexual.  She heard the truth in Brian's words about how he wanted Justin to grow and change.  Justin never would have gone to New York for the art course if Brian hadn't pressed him to.  But how could Justin possibly help Brian to change?  He was a grown man with everything going for him and an arrogant attitude to go along with it.  "How can Justin possibly help you to change?" she had to ask.

 

"Shouldn't we all change and grow through the course of our lifetime?"

 

"Well, aren't you the philosopher all of a sudden?"

 

Brian grimaced.  "You see, there's the reason we don't get along.  You take everything I say with skepticism.  You don't for a moment think that I'm being sincere and that maybe, just maybe, Justin is the one who helped me realize these things."

 

Now Jennifer was really taken aback.  "But you had a seemingly perfect life before Justin came along, and I know you didn't want to give it up.  You have a great job, a perfect home, all the … tricks you could want.  Why would you want to change?"

 

"At first I didn't want to, but Justin showed me how lonely I really was.  He taught me how to love him," Brian said with such honesty that Jennifer felt some of her resentment of the man fall away.

 

"He did?"

 

"He did."



"And you don't want that former life anymore?"



"Not without Justin," Brian said, "although I would like to keep my job and my home."

 

Jennifer noted that he didn't say anything about wanting the tricks.  Maybe there was more to this relationship than she was aware.  "Brian, I've thought that you were stringing Justin along, using him, and at some point you would discard him or he would outgrow you.  Either way there would be lots of pain.  That's why I've always been so wary of you.  I thought you were going to hurt my son, that he could never fit into your perfect lifestyle for any length of time."



"I don't know where you got this perfect lifestyle idea.  It was what it was."

 

"But you are always totally self-assured, so focused and so in control.  When Justin left home you took over everything.  You became like his parent and I felt threatened.  You pay for his schooling.  I can't even carry out that parental function.  He lives with you and I really don't understand your relationship."



"Well, neither do I, so join the club."



Jennifer chuckled and took another drink of her wine.  That emptied the glass.

 

"Another?" Brian asked and she nodded.  He went to the kitchen to refill the glass.

 

This wasn't going at all the way Jennifer had thought it would.  She had been prepared to confront Brian, call him on how he was using her son and get everything out in the open.  They were getting things out in the open, but nothing like she had expected.

With another glass of wine in her hand, she proceeded.  "So you're telling me that you get as much out of this relationship as Justin does?"



"More!"



"Maybe I've been misjudging you," she said somewhat hesitantly.

 

"You think?"

 

"Well, I'm sorry if that's what I've done.  I'll try to be less judgmental in the future.  I'll look at this from a new perspective.  But I'd like you to do the same."



"Me?  What have I done?" 

 

"You judge me too.  You think I try to run Justin's life and tell him what to do."

"Nobody tells that boy what to do.  He has a mind of his own."

 

"I know, but sometimes I have to tell him when I think he's making a mistake."



"A mistake like me?"



"Yes," she had to admit, "but I'm beginning to rethink that."



"Good."



"I'm not perfect, Brian.  I make mistakes too."

 

He looked at her rather skeptically.  "No shit!"

 

"No shit!"

 

"Well you sure as fuck let everyone think you're perfect – the perfect mother, the perfect realtor, the perfect wife until that all fell apart."

 

Jennifer looked hurt by his words and he was sorry he had brought up her failed marriage.  "I don't think I'm the perfect wife, mother or realtor.  I just try to do the best I can.  Have you always felt that I thought I was perfect?"



"Only since I've known you!"

 

"Let me be the first to tell you that I'm far from perfect and I regret that that was how you perceived me."



"So neither one of us is perfect!  Where does that leave us?" Brian asked.

 

"With a better understanding of each other, I hope," Jennifer said finishing off her wine.

 

Brian nodded to the glass and Jennifer shook her head.  She had had more than enough and she had a lot to think about after this conversation.

 

"I should be going," she said standing up.  "Thanks for talking to me so honestly.  I have a much different picture of you with my son now."

 

"A more positive one?"



"Definitely."



"And I have a different view of you.  Maybe we can start to get along a little better, for Justin's sake."

 

"For all our sakes, I hope so."

 

Brian pulled back the loft door and Jennifer left.  He wasn't exactly sure what had just happened over the last hour, but somehow he felt better.

 

                                                                   -----

 

When Justin arrived home awhile later he found Brian sitting on the couch staring out the window at the sky.

 

"Hey.  What did you do while I was gone?" Justin asked.

 

"I had a visitor."



"Oh, who?"



"Your mother."



"Mom, what did she want?"

 

"She wanted to clarify her definition of perfection and so did I."



"What the fuck does that mean?"

 

"That we reached a mutually agreeable understanding."

 

"Sounds good.  So what is this definition of perfection?"

"You!"

Return to Committed