Close To Home IV

Chapter 1

“So, what do ya think, Brian?” Jasper asked.

The big man had spent two weeks, mostly every night renovating Brian and Justin’s new house.  In the meantime Jennifer had found a buyer for Justin’s loft.  Everything was moving so fast.

“Looks good,” Brian replied with a deep sigh.

“Give it a try,” Jasper urged.

Brian wheeled up the slight incline into the kitchen.  He reached for the tap at the sink which was always one of the problems for him.  He found he could reach it quite easily.

“Not bad,” he observed.

“Thanks,” Jasper said with a smile.  “I thought raising the floor instead of cutting down the cabinets made more sense.  If you ever want to sell this place, it won’t be hard to take all this out.”

“Yeah, because there probably won’t be another cripple who wants to buy the place.”

Jasper frowned.  “Is something wrong?” he asked, not liking the tone of Brian’s comment.  “I can change it if you don’t like it.”

“I … I like it,” Brian said trying to sound more upbeat.

“Then what is it?”

“It’s nothing, Jasper.  You’ve done a great job with the bathroom and the kitchen.  We’re moving in on Saturday.”

Jasper studied the man he had known for many years.  “You can’t fool an old dog,” he said.  “You better tell me what’s going on before it eats you up from the inside out.”

Brian sighed.  He had never liked confiding his worries and troubles to anyone.  Even Michael only heard little bits of what was going on, when Brian felt the need to unburden himself.  And Michael usually knew what was wrong without Brian having to explain it.  That was the way Brian liked it.

And then, along came Justin.  Now Brian had to confide everything or it seemed that way.  Justin was relentless.  When he wanted to know something, he would find out one way or another.  There was little point in trying to avoid telling him, because eventually it would all come out.  It was an inevitability.  Not that it was all bad.  Justin was a good listener and rarely judged.  He would merely listen to whatever Brian was stewing about, and he would wait as long as necessary to find out what was going on.  He often had constructive and inventive ways of dealing with whatever was wrong.  Brian had to admit that he now told Justin most things without having to be convinced to do so.  He knew he could trust Justin with whatever the issue was.

“Brian, Mr. Kinney, are you still there?” Jasper asked, a look of concern on his face.

“Yeah, just thinking.”

“Are you going to tell me what you’re thinking about?”

“I … this moving in together is kind of final … irrevocable,” Brian admitted slowly.

“Do you want to revoke it?” Jasper asked.  “Justin seems like an awful nice fella.”

Brian chuckled in spite of himself.  “Justin is an awful nice fella,” Brian declared using Jasper’s own words.  “And I don’t want to revoke it.”

“Then what are you on about?”

“I feel kind of unsettled.  I had everything working for me at the loft.  Now I have to re-establish my life here.”

“Change can be good,” Jasper said philosophically.

“So they say.”

“But you don’t believe that?”

“I believe it, but I’m just not sure I can do it.”

“From the little bits you’ve told me since I’ve been working here, I think you’ve already made major changes, Brian.”

“What do you mean?” Brian asked uncertain as to what Jasper was getting at.

“I mean that you never went out, worked a bit from home, never saw your friends or family … until a certain young man came along.”

Brian smiled.  Had he really told Jasper all that?  “Seems you’ve been listening to me babble on.”

 

“I’m a good listener.”

“So I’m finding out.”

 

“Sounds to me like you’ve changed a lot over the last few months, and you don’t need me to list the ways.  You know them if you think about it.”

Brian thought about Jasper’s words.  “I guess I have,” he admitted.

“And I’d say you’re on the right track with what you bin doin’.”

“You would, would you?” Brian asked with a chuckle.

“I would.  So what’s a little more change to add to what you’ve already accomplished?”

“I guess I’m just a coward.”

“That’s the last thing you are, Brian.  I can only imagine how hard things have been for you.  And you’ve come through it all with flying colors,” Jasper declared.

Brian Looked at Jasper trying to ascertain the truth of his words.  “You know, you might just be right.”  His face brightened when he thought about all he had accomplished, especially over the last few months since Justin had arrived.

“Now that’s what I like to hear.  This house is like a new start for you and your … young man.”

Brian chuckled.  “He is my young man, isn’t he?”

“I’d say so.”

“Thanks, Jasper.  You’ve made me feel a lot better.”

“Where is Justin today?” Jasper asked.

“He’s packing up his apartment.  Mine’s all done,” Brian stated proudly.

Jasper laughed.  “You always was, what’s them words, anal retentive?”

Brian just about swallowed himself.  “Jasper, I never thought…”

“Never thought I’d use such big words, didja, Brian?” Jasper chuckled.  “I watch what goes on at Ryder and the other offices.  I know who does what.”

 

“I just bet you do,” Brian laughed.

“You’d win that bet.”

”You’re quite the man, Jasper.  It’s good to know you.”

“You too, Brian.”

*****

Jennifer dropped her son off at the new house and headed home.  She was tired after a long day in real estate, a meeting with clients at seven and then an hour or two helping Justin pack his apartment, so she declined to come in.  Justin went up to the front door and inserted the new key.  They had had all the locks changed.  With a smile of satisfaction the key turned and the door opened.

“Honey, I’m home,” Justin called.  There was no answer.  Justin went into the kitchen and set the pizza box he had brought with him on the counter.  He and his mother had eaten part of it, and he thought maybe Brian would enjoy a slice.  Once in a while a piece of pizza wouldn’t hurt and he’d help Brian finish it.  Justin grinned to himself as he thought about feeding the slice of pizza to his lover.

There was no sign of Brian, but several lights were on throughout the house.  Justin noted the newly installed ramp up to the kitchen.  It was a shallow incline, but it would provide easier access for Brian to all the counters in the kitchen.  It sported new tile that matched the rest of the new floor that Jasper had laid.  Justin smiled with approval.  Jasper had done a wonderful job of renovating the place.  Everything they had asked for, he had been able to do. 

Justin wondered where Brian and Jasper could be.  Jasper’s truck wasn’t in the driveway so maybe he had already left.  This was the day Jasper was finishing up the last bits that he was working on.  He was a day ahead of schedule.  Brian had sure made the right choice in selecting Jasper to do the job.  He was great.

Justin headed towards the bedroom deciding that had to be where Brian was.  He checked the other rooms, glancing into each, before arriving at the master bedroom.  He pushed open the partially closed door about to chide Brian for hiding from him.  The room was in darkness and it took him a minute to realize that Brian was there.  What he saw made him stop in his tracks.

Reflected in the dim light that shone into the backyard from the kitchen window, Brian sat alone and in the dark. He faced the patio doors that led out to the back of the house from the master bedroom.  The doors were open and the autumn wind was blowing in through the screen.  Brian was staring out into the night.  It felt very cold in the room, and Justin could swear Brian was shivering.

“Brian?” Justin said gently.  He didn’t want to frighten his lover.  He had seen some of these moods before.  When there was no answer, Justin repeated a little louder, “Brian.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s going on?”

 

“Nothing.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t you fucking ‘nothing’ me!  What happened?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Asshole,” Justin said as he crossed the room and dragged the patio door closed.  He turned to face Brian.  “You’re freezing.  You’re going to make yourself sick.  What is wrong with you?”

Brian screwed up his face and bit his bottom lip.  He wasn’t sure he could articulate what was going on inside him.

“Did something happen?” Justin asked leaning over Brian’s chair to look into his face.

“I … I don’t think I can do this,” Brian said turning his face away.

“Do what?” Justin demanded, not believing those words had come out of Brian’s mouth, and having a sudden sense of dread about what Brian might mean by them.  He felt panic rise in his throat.  Brian continued to look out into the night, his eyes refusing to meet Justin’s.  “Look at me, you son of a bitch!  Look at me!”  Justin grabbed Brian’s chin and pulled the man’s head around.

Anger flared in Brian’s eyes, and Justin felt the barely contained fury as Brian grabbed his wrist and yanked it away from his chin … hard.  Brian’s upper body was very strong.  Justin grimaced at the force of Brian’s action.

“Asshole!  What the fuck happened?” Justin demanded to know, pulling his wrist from Brian’s grasp and rubbing the spot where Brian had grabbed hold.

“I … I don’t know,” Brian admitted.  “It … it all became real today.  The house is finished and the loft is sold.  I’m leaving everything that was familiar … and safe.”

 

“Coward!” Justin stated vehemently.  He could barely contain his own anger.  Why was this happening now?  “I thought I was dealing with a man, not a fucking wimp in a…”

“Say it, Justin.  A wimp in a wheelchair,” Brian supplied shaking his head.  “I know what you’re thinking.”

“You think you know, but you don’t know shit, Kinney!  I was going to say that I thought I was dealing with a man, not a wimp in a man’s clothing.”

“You were?” Brian asked looking up into Justin’s angry eyes.

“In spite of all your thoughts to the contrary, not every fucking thing has to do with your fucking wheelchair.  I was sure you wanted to move in here with me or I never would have agreed to any of this.  And now, at the end of everything, you tell me that you can’t do this.  Well, fuck you, Kinney.  Fuck you!”

Justin stomped out of the bedroom.  He didn’t know where he could go.  He had no car.  He had planned to go back to the loft in Brian’s car.  He headed for the kitchen, stopping at the counter and drawing in a deep breath.  He suddenly felt like he had made a huge mistake.  Everything was one colossal mistake.  His loft was sold and they had bought this house and now Brian didn’t want to live with him and what the fuck was he going to do?  Justin felt his breath come in short, rasping gasps.  He was hyperventilating and he seemed unable to stop it.  Maybe he’d die and that would put him out of his misery.

“Justin,” a voice said from behind him.

Justin jumped and wheeled around still gasping for air.  “Fuck off!” he managed to get out before he had to lean against the counter for support.

“Justin, breathe deep, calm down,” Brian pleaded seeing what was happening.

“Shut up … and I can’t,” Justin wheezed.

Brian propelled his wheelchair over to the laundry room and grabbed the paper bag that Jasper had brought from the hardware store earlier in the day.  “Here,” he said to Justin.  “Breathe into the bag.  Please,” he begged getting really worried as he saw the pallor of Justin’s face.  He couldn’t seem to catch a breath at all.

Justin grabbed the bag and put it over his mouth.  He breathed into it trying to slow down the gasps for air.  After a few minutes under Brian’s watchful eye, his breathing became more regular and his breaths longer.  Justin gradually stopped feeling like his lungs were going to explode.  Carefully he removed the paper bag and tested if he could breathe regularly.

“You okay?” Brian asked gently.

“No, I’m not fucking okay, you son of a bitch.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Shut up.  You don’t believe in sorry.”

“I didn’t want to upset you.”

“What did you think that little revelation would do to me?” Justin demanded.

“I … I just felt so … unsettled all day.”

“You mean you’re scared.”

“Well, maybe a little.”

“A lot.”

“Okay, a lot.”

“Don’t you fucking understand that I’m scared too?  This is as big a step for me as it is for you.”

“It is?” Brian asked truly not having realized that before.

“Yes, it is.”

“But you always seem so confident.”

“That’s me, Mr. Confident,” Justin said sarcastically.

“Justin.”

“Oh, fuck it!  I’m leaving,” Justin said heading for the door.

“Don’t go,” Brian begged.

 

“Why not?  You obviously don’t want me here.”

“I always want you,” Brian whispered.

“Then what the fuck was that all about in the bedroom?”

 

“I don’t know.  I just got so … melancholy.  I’ve felt that way all day.  I … I don’t know how to stop feeling like shit.”

“Make love to me,” Justin replied without a single thought as to any other way to deal with this dilemma.

“What?”

“You heard me.  If you want to stop feeling like shit, make love to me.  I’ll remind you why we’re here together and what you will lose if you fucking don’t smarten up.”

Brian laughed in spite of himself and in spite of his melancholy mood.  “Is sex your answer to everything?” he chuckled.

“Most things,” Justin declared.

“Okay, brash and sassy, I’m game.”

“Fuck!  That was the name of the cosmetic company on the Young and the Restless.  You’re a closet soap opera fan.”

“Am not,” Brian protested.

“Oh yes you are!  Your secret’s out,” Justin laughed.

“Well, I’ve had a lot of afternoons all by myself in the loft.  The TV was background noise.”

“Likely story,” Justin retorted.

“And how do you know that it’s the name of said cosmetic company unless you watch the fucking show too?”

“I had a lot of afternoons all by myself in the loft while I was painting.  The TV was background noise,” Justin said smugly.

“You are so full of shit.”

“Just like you.”

“Come here.”

“What ya gonna do, big guy?” Justin crooned as he planted himself on Brian’s lap.

“I know what I’d like to do,” Brian replied, his voice husky with passion.

“Then what are you waiting for?”

“How do you do it?” Brian asked as he nuzzled Justin’s neck.

“Do what?”

“Take my foul mood and depression and anxiety and turn it into passion and laughter and … love.”

“That’s just one of my many talents,” Justin grinned.

“Yeah,” Brian whispered as his lips found Justin’s.  The kiss was a toe-curler and left them both panting.  “I want you so much right now.”

“You can have me.”

“We don’t have any … drapes.”

“Huh?”

“Dougie.”

Justin laughed.  “Brian, it’s almost ten-thirty.  He’ll be in bed.”

“How can we be sure?” Brian asked glancing out the window.

“If you’re that worried, wheel us into the hallway.  There are no windows there.”

“Good idea,” Brian said turning his chair and heading for the hall with Justin on his lap.

“Another of my many talents.”

“Definitely.”

“This is good,” Justin said as they were in the middle of the hall.

“Yeah, very good,” Brian agreed as Justin stood up and started removing his clothing.  Brian couldn’t take his eyes off his lover.  He popped the buttons on his jeans pulling his dick out and stroking himself, as Justin continued to reveal more and more of that pale, creamy flesh. Brian was hard almost instantly, disabilities be damned.

“I see you’re ready,” Justin grinned as he kicked off his sneakers and stepped out of his jeans.

“More than ready,” Brian whispered, staring into those blue eyes that could see deep into his soul. 

Justin slid his underwear down his legs turning so Brian got the full benefit of his little pink pucker in the midst of his tantalizing bubble butt.  Justin gave his ass a shake as his underwear hit the floor.  Brian’s groan was exactly what he wanted to hear.

Justin stalked toward Brian spreading his legs around Brian’s wheelchair.  Brian positioned his cock so that Justin could lower himself onto it.

“Yesss,” Justin hissed as he was filled with Brian’s dick.

“Easy, kiddo,” Brian grinned as Justin settled himself and looked deep into Brian’s eyes. 

“It’ll-be-all-right,” Justin said punctuating each word with a kiss.  “I love you.”

“We can do this?”  It came out more as a question than a statement.

“We can do anything!”

“We can do anything,” Brian repeated.

“Make me believe it,” Justin commanded.

“We can do anything!” Brian shouted as Justin began to ride his cock.  The wheelchair bounced along the hallway as Justin bounced on Brian’s dick.  Sweat poured from each of them as the ride continued. 

“Fuck!” Justin gasped as he approached his orgasm.  His body felt like it was on fire and might melt with each downward movement.  “You make me feel like I can fly.”

“And you make me forget that I can’t walk,” Brian gasped as they both came … hard.

Justin draped himself around Brian’s neck and hung on as the aftermath of the orgasm continued to rip through him.  Brian’s dick was still up Justin’s ass and he wanted it to stay there … forever.

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