The Candidate

Part 8

Brian stared at Justin.  They were eating dinner in the loft, one of the few nights lately that they had been able to do that.  Brian was usually at some function or other, having the standard rubber chicken or speaking and having refreshments afterwards.

 

Things had been a little strained between them since the article about the bashing and Brian's revelations about their bad timing.  Neither of them was sure where they stood now.  Brian had indicated that he wanted Justin to be part of his life, even if and when he got elected mayor.  They couldn't quite decide how that would work, so there were long, rather uncomfortable silences between them. 

 

"Fuck it!" Brian said, noisily dropping his fork onto the mostly full plate in front of him.

 

"Fuck what?" Justin asked.

 

"I'm sick of this … I don't even know what to call it … between us."

"I think that's the problem," Justin responded.  "If we knew what to call it, we might know what to do about it."



"What do you think we should call it?" Brian asked staring into Justin's eyes, daring him to commit to something.

"Brian, that's for you to say.  You know … you've always known … what I want."



"But can we do that now?"

 

Justin was stunned.  Was Brian saying that he wanted them to be an official couple?  If so, it was in the usual Brian doublespeak.  He wished Brian could be straightforward about their relationship … for once.

 

Justin sighed.  He wasn't willing to back himself into a corner.  If he said the words and Brian rejected him, or made some smartass comment, or wouldn't admit the same, he wasn't sure he could stand it again.

 

The silence was deafening.

 

Finally Justin gave a bit.  "Brian, I'm not going to say that I expect anything from you.  I don't.  I have to admit that you blew me away when you revealed some of those things the other night.  Our relationship could have been so different if I had known that before.  However, it doesn't really change anything now, because you're still unwilling to say them to my face."



There he had done it.  Now Brian knew that he wasn't going to leave all the unspoken things unspoken … not this time.

 

"What if I did say them to you … now?"



Justin blinked.  "I … I don't know.  Why don't you say them, and find out?" Justin demanded boldly.

 

Brian cringed.  He didn't know if he had the nerve.  Justin wasn't indicating that his pronouncements would be well received.  Maybe it would be better to leave things the way they were.  Except that things had been dicey the last couple of days.  They danced around each other, still fucking and sharing a bed, but not really talking or enjoying their time together as they had before.

 

If he was truthful with himself, Brian had to admit that he liked talking to Justin and laughing with him and sharing their common views on the absurdity of the world, almost as much as he liked fucking the boy.  He knew that if he didn't say something soon, he might lose everything, or at the very least, the best parts.

 

Justin waited.  He had laid down his version of an ultimatum and he could see Brian considering his options.  He wondered what Brian would do.  Some wisecrack was the likely response.

 

The silence continued and Justin began to worry.  Maybe Brian was going to tell him to fuck off.  He didn't do ultimatums.

 

Justin shoved back his chair and stood up.  If this was so fucking hard, then he was leaving.  He didn't need to be put through the wringer like this.

 

He started toward the door not saying a word.  Suddenly a hand grasped his wrist and stopped him.

 

"Don't go," Brian said softly.

 

"Would it matter if I did?"



Brian was about to say that it was Justin's choice whether he stayed or went, but he remembered where that statement had gotten him before.  "Yes, it would matter," he whispered.

 

Justin turned around and looked into sad hazel eyes.

 

"Brian, I know this is hard for you, but I'm not prepared to have you take me to the brink of some kind of declaration and then leave me hanging.  My heart can't stand it, and I won't stand for it.  Not this time.  Not ever again.  Either tell me that I'm just a fuck to you or grow some balls and tell me what you really feel."

 

"I've never had complaints about my balls before," Brian said with a smirk.

 

Justin sighed loudly.  He turned to leave.  Brian would never change.

 

"I want you to appear with me at the fundraiser that Emmett is catering for me tomorrow night," Brian stated.

 

"What?"  Justin turned around.  "Are you asking me to go public about our relationship?"



"It's not exactly a secret that we spend time together."

 

"But this would mean something more.  You'd be stating publicly that we are together."



"That's right," Brian agreed with his funny little smile.

 

Christ, Justin loved that face!  "Are you sure?" he asked.



"Yes.  You know I always mean what I say."

"But what exactly are you saying?"



It was Brian's turn to sigh.  Justin was going to make him say it out loud.  "It means that I want the public to meet my partner tomorrow night, if that's what you're willing to be."



"Fuck!" Justin reacted, his mouth hanging open in amazement.  Brian's face fell.  "Holy fuck!!!" Justin screeched and threw himself at Brian.

 

He kissed all over Brian's face and held him tightly around the neck, afraid that it was all a mirage, afraid that if he let go he'd wake up and find it was all a dream.

 

"Justin."  He heard his name being called.  "Justin!"

 

Brian gasped, trying to breathe with Justin hanging on his neck.  He pushed Justin away so that he could look at his face.

 

"Does that mean that you accept?" Brian asked.

 

"Oh Brian," Justin breathed.  He could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks.

 

"Sunshine, please," Brian begged.  "Don't cry.  It's supposed to be a good thing.  I thought it would make you happy."



"It does, you idiot.  I just can't believe that you actually said it.  You want me to be your partner?"

 

"That's right.  You have been my partner for a long time now, but I never had the nerve … no, I never had the balls to say it … until now."

 

"I love you," Justin said kissing him some more.

"You better stop that or things are going to get out of hand," Brian said trying to be nonchalant.

 

"Things are just fine," Justin gulped.  "I love you so much."



Brian pulled him impossibly closer.  They pressed against one another as kiss followed kiss until they could barely breathe.  Somehow clothes magically disappeared and they found themselves naked on the bed.  As Brian was about to enter him, Justin looked into the lovely hazel eyes that hovered above him.

 

"This will be the first time as true and acknowledged partners," Justin breathed.

 

Brian smiled that funny little smile.  "Partners," he said and pressed the tip of his cock against Justin's hole.

 

"Partners," Justin gasped as he was filled and spread wide open by Brian's cock.  It did feel different somehow, warmer and safer and better.

 

Brian pressed further in and Justin took it all, moaning his approval.  Nobody could fill him like Brian did, nobody made him feel the things Brian did, nobody else was Brian.  This was what he needed, all he had ever wanted.  Justin thought his heart would surely burst.

 

Brian began his thrusts, slow and deep, rotating his hips, making sure he hit Justin's prostate.  He wanted this to be different.  He wanted it to be better than it had ever been between them, because he had made a commitment that he would never back away from.  He hoped Justin understood that.  Things would never be easy.  He was sure of that.  But once he made the promise, it was forever.  That was why it was so hard to say.  There was no turning back now.

 

Brian's heart was so full.  He could feel the tears trying to escape his eyes.  He shut them, hoping to trap the tears behind his lids.  He could hear Justin gasping and moaning beneath him.  There was another sound, air being pulled in and out in what seemed like sobs.  He realized that was him.  He was sobbing with each stroke as he neared his orgasm, but he was helpless to stop, helpless to do anything but pound into this man he loved and needed so much.  He could feel the tears escape as his balls pulled up and he screamed Justin's name.  His release left him spent and exhausted.

 

He lay on top of the younger man trying to collect himself, his face buried in Justin's neck.  He was afraid to shift and reveal to Justin the telltale signs of the powerful emotions that had coursed through him.  He felt Justin's arms come up around him and cradle him against his slim body.

 

Brian wiped at his eyes.  Justin released him and one of his fingers sloughed a tear from Brian's cheek.

 

"He knows," Brian thought ashamed of revealing this weakness.

 

"Brian," Justin whispered, "it's all right."



Brian rolled over and turned away from the young man.  He wiped the remaining tears away.

 

"Look at me, Brian," Justin ordered.

 

Brian kept his back to the young man, sure that this deluge of unwanted emotions would still be visible on his face, tears or no tears.  How could he have let this happen?

 

Justin grabbed his shoulder and forced Brian to turn toward him.  Brian gasped.  Tears covered Justin's cheeks and he wore such raw emotion on his beautiful face that Brian felt more tears well up in his own eyes and begin to fall.  Involuntarily his hand touched Justin's face and thumbed away his tears.

 

"What happened?" Brian asked in a whisper.

 

"I think it's called love … pure, uncensored, total love," Justin said softly.

 

Brian leaned toward him and their arms wrapped around each other.  They held on tightly as they kissed and caressed each other.  Some time later they both fell asleep.

 

******************************************

 

Brian and Justin stood outside the door to the hall where the fundraiser was being held.  Each person in attendance had paid fifty dollars to meet the candidate, listen to him speak and have some lovely finger foods prepared by the ultimate party planner, Emmett Honeycutt.  Brian could hardly believe that he was the one they had paid to come and see.

 

Charles had already gone in and he would be introducing Brian in a minute or two.  He and Justin were going to go in together and Justin had a seat reserved in the front row.  At some point in the speech Brian would introduce him.  Justin's heart was pounding and he felt like he was in the twilight zone.  Everything seemed strange and unreal.

 

He and Brian had discussed how they would do this, and this was what they had decided on.  Now he wasn't at all sure it was a good idea.  Some of their friends would be there, and a lot of strangers.  Justin wasn't sure what the reaction to their announcement would be.

 

Brian straightened Justin's tie and brushed off the shoulders of his jacket.

 

"You look good enough to eat," Brian said giving Justin's lips a brush with his own.

 

"Are you sure about this?" Justin asked fear written all over his face.

 

"I'm sure.  And I thought you were too?"



"What if people hate me and hate that you're with me?  I could ruin the campaign for you."



"If it wasn't too undignified for the front running candidate, I'd start making clucking noises."

 

Justin swatted him and had to giggle.  "I'm not a chicken," he protested.

 

"If it walks like one and talks like one …"

 

"Stop it!" Justin ordered.

 

"You'll be fine.  They will all love you just as much as I do."



Justin gulped.  Had he heard that right?

 

Just then Brian opened the door and they started into the hall.  Charles had finished the introduction and there was loud applause and whistles and cheers.  Justin followed Brian trying to look like he knew what the hell he was doing there.  He saw Vic and Deb and Emmett in the front row as they neared the stage.  He saw an empty seat beside them and headed for it.  Brian went up the steps to the stage where Charles was waiting for him.

 

Debbie gave Justin a squeeze and they sat as the applause died down.  Justin looked up and saw Brian standing at the microphone.  He looked magnificent.  He wore a navy blue suit with a tiny pinstripe and a pale blue shirt.  His tie was navy and the same blue as the shirt.  He looked like a million dollars.

 

Brian always looked great, even in his blue jeans and T-shirt or in nothing at all, especially in nothing at all.  But he looked extra special tonight.  He seemed to glow from within, and he was staring right into Justin's eyes.  Justin could feel himself blush and grin from ear to ear.

 

"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen," Brian began.  "I'm so pleased you are able to be here tonight, and especially pleased that you were willing to pay to be here tonight."

 

That earned him laughs and applause.  Brian was getting really good at charming an audience.  What the audience didn't know was that he really meant that he was glad they were paying.  The Kinney honesty had become famous since the beginning of the campaign, but people really had no idea how honest Brian actually was.  They often thought he was kidding.  Justin knew better.

 

Justin let his mind wander to this morning.  He had woken up in Brian's arms, the man kissing up and down his throat.  He still couldn't get his mind around what Brian had finally said last night, and what he was about to say to the people here tonight.  They had discussed their plans for this evening and agreed how to handle it.  Justin still didn't know exactly what Brian was going to say.  Nobody else knew what was going to happen, except Charles. 

 

Brian had felt he needed to run this by his backer before he did it.  Charles had said that it was Brian's call.  There would probably be some fallout when people were forced to face the fact that Brian had a male lover.  Some people would have supported him, knowing that he was gay, but not making an issue of it.  This would be in their face.  It would probably cost them some votes, but it might win them others. 

 

Brian had decided he was going to be honest about his relationship with Justin, come what may.  If it cost him the election, that was too bad.  If he won, he wanted Justin there with him, and everyone was going to know that from now on.  They would have to deal with it one way or the other.

 

Justin felt Debbie nudge him in the ribs.  He blinked and looked at Brian.  He had missed a whole section of the speech.  He had no idea where Brian was or if he would be introduced soon.  Debbie smiled at him and beamed proudly up at Brian.

 

"The fact that I'm gay has been an issue since I entered this race," Justin heard Brian say.  "I have to admit that I have kind of skirted the issue from time to time.  I like to keep my private life private."

 

There were some chuckles and Brian looked at Justin.  Justin felt his stomach flip over.  He knew what was coming.

 

"For the last two years I've had an on again off again relationship with a young man.  Until recently it was off, but we have finally got together, and I hope it's for good this time.  I'd like to introduce him to you tonight, because he's going to be with me from now on.  I'd like you to meet my life partner, Justin Taylor."



Justin heard Debbie gasp beside him and push him to his feet.  He prayed his legs would support him as he climbed the steps to the stage.  He saw Brian walk toward him and hold out his hand.  He placed his hand in it and Brian led them to the microphone. 

 

"This is Justin," he said simply.

 

Suddenly people were on their feet and clapping.  Justin could see Emmett jumping up and down, tears in his eyes.  Deb and Vic were hugging and screaming.  There were many other people in the audience applauding and yelling their approval.

 

Justin looked at Brian who smiled back at him.  They looked out at the audience and smiled.  Justin felt much better.

 

"They seem to like me," Justin whispered to Brian.

 

"Of course they do!  What's not to like, Sunshine?"

Brian gave the audience a moment to settle down and absorb the news he had just given them.  "Refreshments will be served at the back and I'll be happy to talk to you individually there," Brian said.

 

He was still holding Justin's hand and he led him down the steps, never letting go.

 

******************************************

 

The next day there was a picture of Brian and Justin holding hands on the front page of one of the papers.  Justin brought the paper up first thing in the morning to show Brian.

 

"I didn't notice anybody taking this picture," Justin said.  "Did you?"

"They're always there," Brian said with a grimace.

 

"I hope it doesn't cost you."



"I should have kissed you.  That would have been on the front page of all the papers."



"Brian!  I think we need to be careful."



"Careful isn't part of my vocabulary."



"I know, but I want you to win."



"You do?  It would be much easier if I lost.  Then I could go back to unemployment and anonymity."

 

"Don't say that.  I'm proud of what you're doing."



Brian smiled.  He liked it when Justin was proud of him.

 

"I think we should take it slow.  I don't want people to think that we're flaunting our relationship."



"I'm in front in the polls.  Everything will be fine."

 

"Let's hold that pronouncement until the next poll comes out."



"You really think me introducing you and having you attend events with me is going to hurt my campaign?"



"I do, sadly enough."

 

"But other candidates have their wife there, hanging on their fucking arm all the time."



"You're not other candidates.  We're breaking new ground here."



"I suppose you're right, but I've said from the outset that I would tell the electorate what they were getting and they could take it or leave it.  Now that includes me and you together."



Justin beamed at his partner.

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