A Perfect Sin

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Justin stood out in the rain, drenched, pounding on the door. He saw Debbie open the curtain and peek out then she flung open the door and yanked him inside.

"What the hell are you doing out in the rain at this time of night?"

"Is Brian here?"

"Justin, look, I know what you're thinking, but you can't just go out looking for him."

"Is he here or not?"

With reservations Debbie nodded her head. "Upstairs, in Michael's room." Catching his arm she warned, "he doesn't look so hot, kiddo. Take it easy on him."

Justin rapped lightly on Michael's door. Looking past Michael he spotted Brian on the bed and pushed his way in.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Sunshine?" Brian was shocked to see the kid, but his heart was pounding and his only thoughts were of taking him in his arms and kissing him.

"I had to make sure you were okay."

"How'd you know where to find me?"

"I remembered what you said about Debbie protecting you before and I just figured you'd run here. Besides Michael's your best friend."

Michael looked from Brian to Justin and back again before speaking. "Look Justin, Brian's had a rough night, maybe you should just go home."

"I'm not going anywhere, Michael, I love him. Besides I can't go home right now."

"And why the fuck not?" Michael asked getting annoyed.

"Because they don't know I'm gone yet. I snuck out and came here."

"You snuck out? Are you fucking crazy, Sunshine? Go home."

"I'm not leaving, Brian." Justin sat down on the bed next to his lover to prove his point. For the first time he saw the bruise marring Brian's perfect face. Reaching out a hand he lightly brushed a lock of hair out of Brian's eyes. "Oh my God, what happened?"

"Jack happened, again."

"Your dad?"

"That's right, Sunshine, being a preacher never stopped dear old dad from hating his fag son. And if there's one thing he loves more than his Irish whiskey, it's beating the shit out of me."

"Then we'll go to the cops, we'll tell them everything."

"What good will that do Brian? It'll just make it worse, Justin. What he needs right now is for you to leave him alone."

Justin looked from Michael to Brian, "Is that what you want Brian?"

"Yes."

Justin left the room and stumbled down the stairs, stopping at the bottom for one last look back. Opening the door he ran out into the dark, cold, wet night.

"As much as I hate to say it Brian, I think you should've let him help. It's obvious he loves you."

"He's better off, Mikey. Jack's right, I'm no good."

"Yes you are. You have a good heart, and I know that you love him. Despite all that you say about not believing in love, I can see it when you look at him. Just admit it, you love him."

"It doesn't matter now, Mikey. It's over. I'd only hurt him."

Justin ran through the rain, not feeling the bone chilling cold. All he could think about was Brian lying in Michael's bed telling him to leave him alone. Justin's mind played the scenario over and over. Michael protecting Brian. Brian in Michael's bed.

Justin sank down onto the park bench and buried his head in his hands and cried. He cried for the man he loved, for Brian's pain, for the loss of love he was experiencing but most of all he cried because he knew that Brian meant it. Brian didn't want anything to with him ever again.

Three days later Jack showed up at Debbie's looking for his son. Letting him in, she could smell the whiskey on his breath and prayed that Brian would stay upstairs and keep his mouth shut.

"Where the fuck is that worthless son of mine? And don't fucking lie, I know he's here. He always runs to you."

"He wouldn't need to run to me if he felt safe at home, Pastor Kinney. I wonder what your precious congregation would think of you now?"

"Fuck you. Go get my son, or I'll have the fucking cops here so fast your fucking faggot loving head will explode."

"Call them. Let's see you explain the bruises on your son's face or the scars on his back. You disgust me, Jack Kinney. You stand there behind that pulpit week after week preaching about God's love, thinking you're holier than the rest of us poor souls when you're nothing but a child abuser and a homophobic asshole. You use the word of God to teach hate to your flock. God doesn't hate, God loves all. And God made your son, just the way he was meant to be. Brian is perfect in God's eyes."

Debbie stormed over to the door and flung it open. "Now get the fuck out of my house."

"I'm not leaving without my son."

"And you sure the fuck aren't leaving with him."

"You can't stop me from taking him home, he's still a minor."

"Actually Reverend, he turns eighteen in two days. But I bet you didn't even know that did you? Now either you get out of my house, or I will have you removed."

Jack stumbled his way out of the door and fell down the steps. Debbie slammed the door behind him and ran upstairs to make sure that Brian hadn't crawled down the drain pipe.

"Brian?" she asked lightly tapping on the door.

"I'm still here, quit worrying."

Pushing the door open she joined him on the bed. "So wanna talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about Deb. I'm not going back there and I can't stay here."

"You know you're welcome here as long as you need to stay, Brian. You're family."

"Thanks, but I think it's time I got the hell out of town and started a whole new life."

"Where are you going to go?"

"I got accepted at Brown and Columbia, so maybe I'll head there."

"What about Penn State, Brian? You could stay here and be close to family."

"No, I can't and you know it."

"And what about Justin?"

"What about him?"

"Don't give me the bullshit, Bri. I know you love him, you know you love him and honey he knows you love him. Are you just going to walk away from that?"

"Yes."

"I don't buy the cold hearted asshole routine and neither does Justin. He's a smart boy Brian and if you leave him, he's just going to find you and make you deal with your feelings."

"I have to let him go. For him."

"Honey, it's up to him to decide what's right for him. You can't do it for him any more than your father can do it for you."

Brian sighed deeply and Debbie knew that her words had hit a nerve.

"Listen, I can't make you stay and I can't make you tell him how much you love him, but if you don't you'll regret it forever. That I promise you. You just remember that no matter how far you run, you have family here and we love you. We love *you*, not who you are, but you."

Michael banged on the Taylor's front door anxiously. When he came face to face with Craig Taylor he almost lost his nerve and ran away. Taking a deep breath, he just let the words fall out of his mouth.

"Is Justin home?"

"Who are you?"

"Can you tell him that Michael's here? It's really important."

"What do you want with Justin? He's grounded so he can't have friends over."

"He's my lab partner in Biology and I need to get today's notes for our test on Friday."

"Stay here, I'll let him know you're here."

Several minutes later, Justin came outside carrying a notebook, surprised to find Michael there.

"What do you want?"

"Brian's leaving."

"What are you talking about, Michael?"

"Brian's leaving. He's running away."

"So why are you telling me? He made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want me around."

"He loves you, more than he can even believe himself. Look, Brian's had a hard life and very little love in it, but he loves you. And I know that you love him. If he leaves, we'll lose him forever. He'll never come back."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to make him stay. I want you to tell him that you love him too. Make him see that he can't run away from you."

"But you hate me."

"But he loves you and I love him enough to let him go, even if it is to you."

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