The Nature of Things

Chapter 41

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Brian hadn't been home in two days and all he wanted was to hold his daughter, kiss Justin and go to sleep. Unfortunately he was about to find out that peace and quiet was not on the menu.

He found Justin pacing the living room with Maya. She was screaming loudly and seemed inconsolable.

"What is she doing up at two a.m.?"

"She won't go to sleep."

"How long has this been going on?"

"For about three hours now. She's not wet or hungry. I've tried rocking her and singing to her. Molly even came down and walked with her but she just keeps on crying. I'm losing my fucking mind."

"Is she sick?"

"She doesn't have a fever and she ate a bottle about half an hour ago."

"Give her to me, I'll take a shift."

"Brian you look like you could collapse at any moment. Go on up to bed, I can handle it a few more hours."

"No, you've been here with her for days while I've been at work. Give her here and go ask your mom if she'll relieve me in an hour."

"I would but she's on a date."

"Jenn's on a date?"

"Yeah and he's about my age."

"Really? Well isn't that interesting."

"I don't know if I like the idea of my mother dating someone young enough to be her son."

"Sunshine, you're young enough to be my son."

"If you had me at thirteen."

"I was still in the closet back then."

"Shut up and take your daughter. I'll be back down in forty-five minutes so you can get some sleep."

"Thanks." Brian lightly bounced Maya as he walked the length of the living room over and over. He was starting to think he was insane for having a baby when she let out a loud burp and went peacefully to sleep. He was just starting up the stairs when Jennifer and her date came in the front door.

He could hear her explaining that she lived with her son and his partner and that they had a new baby in the house. She sounded just like a proud grandmother should and Brian smiled to himself as he continued up the stairs.

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Molly listened for the sounds of silence in the house. She knew that Brian had put Maya down a little over an hour ago and that she had at least two hours before she woke again to eat. Tiptoeing to the stairs she listened for any sounds in the kitchen. Not hearing any she quietly hurried down the stairs and out the door.

Sliding behind the wheel of the Mazda that Brian had insisted on buying her she sped off towards Liberty Avenue. She parked in front of the church and prayed that Father Adam would still be there after the late mass.

He was just locking the door when Molly got to the top of the steps. Adam was shocked to see her.

"Molly, how nice to see you again."

"Do you have a moment, Father?"

"Of course. Shall we talk here or would you rather get a cup of coffee from the diner?"

"Coffee sounds good, thanks."

They walked the two blocks in silence and Adam could sense something troubling Molly. Once they'd ordered he asked why she was there.

"I needed someone to talk to and I remembered how nice you were to me."

"Well, it is my job."

"I sort of hoped it went beyond the job."

"Why don't you tell me what's bothering you, Molly. Maybe I can help."

"I don't know where to begin."

"The beginning is always good. Maybe we should start with you telling me what you decided about the baby."

"Oh, I had a little girl. Her name is Maya."

"So you kept her after all?"

"No, my brother and his partner adopted her. It's an open adoption and I get to choose how much involvement I have in her life. Right now I'm living with them, just down the hall from her."

"That must be difficult for you. Are you sure it's a wise thing?"

"Don't get me wrong, Father, I love Maya. A lot. But I don't feel like she ever belonged to me. I feel like I was meant to give Brian and Justin a gift they wouldn't have otherwise. I truly believe that she was meant to be their daughter."

"Well that's very selfless of you, Molly. However, you are the one who carried her and gave birth to her. You have to feel some loss."

"I do. I look at her sweet face and I imagine what it would've been like to be her mommy. But I know she's better off with them. They can give her so much that I can't."

"I caution you to be very careful. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I'm still in therapy and that helps a lot. I'm not worried about Maya. I'm worried about me."

"Has something else happened?"

"I found out that my father paid for my rapist's lawyer."

"That's horrible."

"That isn't the horrible part, Adam. I keep dreaming of him dying. I see him, my father, lying on the floor. My hands are covered in his blood and I'm not sad. I want him dead. I want him to hurt as much as I have."

"That's normal. It's just a dream, Molly."

"It's more than dream, Adam. It's so much more. I have to protect Maya. I have to protect us all."

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