The Nature of Things

Chapter 4

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Justin plopped down loudly on the couch and reached for the remote. Casey handed him a drink and sat next to him. Taking Justin's hand in his, Casey gently stroked the back of it before speaking.

"So what happened?"

"He acted like a fucking dick. As usual."

"Did you try to talk to him at least?'

"Yeah. And he pushed me away in typical Brian Kinney fashion."

"So go back and try again. Only this time don't let him push you away."

"I'm not going back. I'm not going to beg him to listen to me. I'm done begging Brian for anything."

"Justin, you can't just walk away from this. He's your partner and no matter how much you protest I know that you love him."

"How can I love somebody who won't even take the time to fucking talk to me? He never loved me. I was just deluding myself to think that he was capable of love."

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Brian sat on the edge of the bed and wondered where he'd messed up. He'd given Justin everything he'd ever wanted and he'd still left.

He thought back over the last two years and how happy he had thought they'd been. Justin was always laughing and Brian had found himself smiling more often. They'd shared dinners and family nights.

Justin was helping Brian with Gus on the weekends and they'd even talked about buying a house together. Now it was all just talk. Justin was gone and he was once again all alone.

Lying back he hugged Justin's pillow close and closed his eyes, allowing himself just a moment to feel the despair.

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Casey poured Justin another drink and with a sly smile sank back into his cushy spot on the couch and watched the beautiful man next to him down the drink in one swig.

Two hours and four drinks later Justin leaned back and allowed himself to be kissed by Casey. He felt his hands on his chest and tried to clear his head. Justin was struggling to keep his eyes open and wasn't sure what was really happening and what was a dream.

He felt the hands tugging at his belt and fumbled to push them away.

"Shhh, Justin, I'm just helping you to bed. Come on, sweetie, you look dead on your feet."

Justin allowed Casey to undress him and put him in the bed. His eyes were heavy and he was grateful that his friend was there to help him out.

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Brian woke the next morning with a hangover and a better perspective. He'd dreamt of Justin all night. Grabbing the phone he dialed Justin's cell and waited impatiently for him to answer.

At the sound of the click he just started talking.

"Justin, I'm sorry. I know I've said that sorry is bullshit, but I really am sorry. Can we talk? Just the two of us?"

"I'm sorry, Justin is sleeping right now. Can I take a message?"

"Who the fuck are you?"

"A friend of Justin's. And you are?"

"His partner."

"Oh, I was under the impression that he was single. Hmm, he did say something about this jerk he lived with, but nothing about a partner. I'm sorry, what was your name?'

"Never mind. Just tell him...on second thought fuck it, don't tell him anything."

Brian hung up and headed for the kitchen. Without bothering with a glass he took a long swig from the bottle of Beam and then threw it against the wall. With one swipe he cleared the counter and stood amidst the broken glass and laughed uncontrollably.

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Justin woke to a dull pounding in his head and tried to clear his mind enough to remember what happened. Dragging himself out of bed, he tried his best to remember how he'd even gotten there. After dressing he hurried downstairs to find Casey.

Entering the kitchen he saw breakfast on the table and Casey pouring coffee. After handing Justin a cup he slipped into the chair across from him.

"Are you feeling better this morning?"

"What happened last night, Case?"

"We talked. You got a little drunk, so I helped you to bed. You were pretty restless last night, Jus. I kept checking on you and I was starting to get worried but finally you settled down."

"Did I keep you up?"

"A little, but that's what friends are for. Now eat, I have to get to work, so I will see you later tonight."

"Yeah, I'm going to head out and try to find an apartment today. So I'll see you at dinner. Hey, how about the diner, my treat."

"Sounds good, but you know you can crash here as long as you need. No rush." Pressing a light kiss to his forehead, Casey headed out the door.

Justin spotted his cell on the counter and checked the id to see if Brian had called. He was disappointed to find that he hadn't. He pressed the speed dial and waited for an answer.

"Hey Em, wanna have lunch today?"

"Sure, honey. Are you okay? I heard about you and Bri."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Noon okay?"

"That's fine. The diner?"

"No, I don't want to risk running into him."

"I understand. How about I make us something decadent?"

"That sounds great. I'll see you then."

"I love you baby."

"Thanks, I love you too, Em."

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Emmett answered the knock at the door and hugged Justin close. "Hey baby. Come on in, I made us the most delicious lunch."

"Well it sure smells fucking awesome."

"I started us with an Endive and orange salad, followed by ravioli with a creamy tomato sauce and herbed goat cheese. And there is raspberry tiramisu for dessert. Now open the wine and I'll serve."

They ate silently for awhile before Emmett asked what Justin wanted to talk about.

"I don't know, Em, maybe I'm imagining things. But last night was really weird."

"Weird, as in you miss Brian weird or weird as in you are in OZ wierd?"

"Let's just say that there was no hot prison sex."

"Tell me what happened."

"I'm staying with my friend Casey until I can find a place and we were talking last night. I had a few drinks and I remember not feeling so well. Everything past that is a blur. I woke up in bed this morning, not knowing how I got there."

"Did you ask him about it?"

"Yeah, he said that I got drunk and he put me to bed. But something was off. The sheets were all tangled and I was sore."

"Do you think that something happened?"

"I don't know. I can't remember."

"How well do you know Casey?"

"I've known him for a few months now. We met at the gallery. He came in while I was setting up for that show I did in May. We just started talking and he seemed really nice so we started having lunch once a week or so."

"Are you in love with him?"

"No. He's just a friend, someone I can talk to about my art and Brian. He listened and I talked."

"Do you trust him?"

"I thought I did. I mean, he's really nice Em. He listens and he even told me to try to talk to Brian. There's just something a little off. It's like I feel like I should lock my door at night or something."

"Be careful, Justin and get out of there soon. I'm sure Debbie wouldn't mind if you crashed on the couch a few nights."

"No, I'm not scared or anything. But I'm definitely going to look for a place today. Want to tag along?"

"Can't, I have a meeting about a party I'm planning. Some big time model is coming to town and they want to make sure he is taken care of properly. If the party goes good I may get the chance to be his personal chef for a few weeks while he's in town. It pays well and since Vic died, I've been helping Deb with the mortgage so the extra money will be nice."

"Maybe tomorrow?"

"It's a date. See you then. And Justin, if you don't feel safe with him, get out of there."

"Thanks, Em. I think I'll be okay."

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