The Nature of Things

Chapter 1

Author's Note: Thanks to my sweet Gayle for all her hard work trying to make this damn thing readable.....Oh and I don't own a damn thing, I just use and abuse them to my liking....

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"Fuck you, Brian."

Brian watched as Justin slammed the door shut behind him and turned to survey the loft. Justin's clothes were everywhere and the living room was destroyed. Lighting a cigarette and shaking his head, Brian hopped up onto the counter to smoke.

As he watched the smoke waft slowly through the air, he tried his best to figure out what had brought this one on. For the last few months Justin had been exploding at the drop of a hat. Most of the time he just left, spent the night at Daphne's and came home the next morning. After a few hours of fucking, everything would be back to normal.

This was the first time he'd actually packed his things and stormed out. Brian knew it was serious this time. The kid had even taken his laptop. His whole life was on that computer. A life Brian knew little about these days.

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Things had been hectic at Kinnetik and Brian had been spending almost every evening courting clients. Justin was left to his own devices.

Most nights Justin spent working on some project before heading off to Babylon. He spent all night dancing and getting drunk before stumbling home at two in the morning to find Brian asleep in front of the computer, with some client's file in his lap.

Justin awoke to an empty house every morning and it was getting old.

Justin left the loft, threw his backpack over his shoulder and ran as fast as he could. He just had to get away from Brian Kinney and everything that came along with being his partner. He was tired of being taken for granted and tired of Brian never being home. It was time to move on and he knew exactly how to do that.

A few minutes later he knocked on the door and waited impatiently for it to be opened. He broke into a smile when he saw the handsome face standing in the doorway. Pulling the other man close, Justin kissed him hard, just like Brian used to kiss him.

"What took you so long?"

Pushing his way into the apartment, he dropped his bag and sank into the couch. He looked around the room and unconsciously compared it to Brian's loft.

"Justin, are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Does it really matter, Casey? I'm here, that's what counts."

"No, what counts is if you're here to stay? I don't want you to wake up tomorrow and realize that you made a mistake. I know you still love him."

"I'm not even sure if I believe I still love him, Case. I just know that I needed to get away from that fucked up life."

"Well I suggest you figure that out before you even think about starting a relationship with me."

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Brian threw on a pair of 501s and a black wife beater. Zipping up his Prada boots he let his eyes roam around the bedroom looking for any sign that Justin was still there. Not finding any he headed for the door.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Mikey?"

"Ma called and said that Justin left. I was worried about you."

"Well thanks for caring, Mom, but I'm fine. I've always known he wouldn't stay forever."

"Brian, you've been partners for six years. I know you're hurting."

"Yeah, well if you'd get out of my way I could go practice a little pain management. It feels like centuries since I've had a good blow job in the backroom of Babylon."

"I thought you were past all of that, Bri."

"And look where it got me, Mikey. No tricking for years, fuck I might as well be a hetero."

"Brian, are you sure you didn't slip just once and Justin found out?"

"Of course you'd think that Mikey. Justin left so it must be that Brian is tricking again. Fuck you Mikey."

"I was just saying, Bri."

"You were just leaving, Michael." Brian stormed out of the loft without waiting for his best friend to follow.

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"You can't just act like nothing happened, Justin. You have to deal with this."

"Deal with what? I left him. There's nothing to deal with."

"You can't believe that, Justin. Why don't you tell me about when you first met."

"Again? Do you like to torture me?"

"No, but maybe it'll help you to understand what went wrong enough to send you running here."

"If I tell you, will you shut the fuck up about Brian for the rest of the day?"

"Maybe."

"God, you're worse than Mikey."

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Brian found himself surrounded by men, his back against the wall, and wishing he was at home with Justin. Pushing the blonde kneeling in front of him away, he staggered for the door. As soon as he stepped out into the light of the dance floor again, he ran a hand over his face, looked around and headed for the bar.

"Double Beam, and keep 'em coming."

After his fifth drink, Brian stumbled onto the dance floor and cut in on a beautiful blond and his dark haired lover. "Wanna fuck?"

As he was led back to the darkness, Brian felt a strange sense of emptiness. Shaking it off he allowed the dark haired man to take his hard cock deep into his mouth and begin the slow torture that would bring him the ultimate release.

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"I met Brian when I was seventeen. It was my first time out on Liberty Ave and it wasn't going so well. I was discouraged and ready to just go back into my neat little suburban closet and forget all about being a fag when he just appeared out of nowhere. He was and is still the most beautiful living creature I have ever laid eyes on.

"I knew in that instant that I was in love with him. He took me back to his loft and jerked me off and it was the greatest orgasm of my life to that point. Then he got a phone call that his son had been born and off we went.

"Mikey was there, of course. Michael is always there for any major event in Brian's life. It's like he just can't let go."

Justin sighed, got up, poured himself a double Beam and sat back down on the couch before continuing.

"I'd only known Michael a few hours before he decided I was the son of Satan and must be destroyed. He wanted Brian and made sure that I knew that HE was Brian's best friend and I was just some little trick that would be gone in the morning.

"Isn't it funny how he finally got his wish and now he's not available to cash in. But I'm sure it won't take him long to throw the handsome professor aside to be at Brian's side."

"Justin, I get the feeling that you aren't very fond of this Michael."

"That's the understatement of the year. I mean we did get along okay there for awhile. Or we were until he told Brian about Ethan."

"Who's Ethan?"

"Ethan is my ex-boyfriend that I left Brian for a few years back. Even back then, when I thought that Ethan was everything I ever wanted I knew that he'd never live up to the fantasy that was Brian Kinney. I mean, Ethan gave me everything that Brian wouldn't. He told me he loved me, gave me roses, played the most amazing songs he said I inspired. But no matter what he did I kept wishing that it was Brian who was doing those things.

"And when it came to sex, he just didn't compare. Hell no one is as good as Brian, partly because no one else in this whole fucked up world has had half the experience Brian has. I mean he would have at least three tricks a night. Or he did up until four years ago when he finally realized he loves me. Or so I thought.

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