Broken Memories
Chapter 3
Lindsay answered the call telling them about Debbie’s death and immediately woke Melanie and started packing. They were on the first flight out of Toronto and headed towards home. She worried about how Brian would handle Debbie’s death. Debbie was the closest thing to a real mother he’d ever had. Of course there was Joan, but she didn’t really count. Michael had Ben and Hunter to help him through this, but Brian seemed to be drowning lately.
When Justin left, Brian reverted to his old ways of covering the pain. Yet, Lindsay knew that he was hurting. She’d seen his face for that split second when Justin called off the wedding. He’d tried everything to make everyone believe he was happy for Justin, but she knew him far too well. She knew his heart was broken. Somehow he’d let himself love Justin and open up and expose his soul, and it was torn out and stomped on when Justin left. Since then he’d just gone back to being Brian Kinney, professional stud.
The boys just went about life as if nothing had changed. They all treated him as though he were the same man he’d been the night he’d met Justin outside of Babylon. She knew better. She knew that he’d grown and changed and it had all been because he loved Justin without restraint.
The bombing was a turning point for Brian. He’d changed since then and it appeared that only Lindsay was aware of it. Brian had finally realized that Justin was what he wanted and needed. Only it came at a time when Justin wanted to find out where his art could take him. They said nothing would change, except for Brian the whole world changed the second Justin got on that plane.
***
“Ted, do want some soup?” Blake asked his partner of three years. He was worried about Ted. Debbie had been a big part of his life for years and now she was gone.
“No, I’m fine, thanks.” Ted sat staring at a blank computer screen wondering how he was supposed to focus on work when all he could think about was Michael. After all these years he still loved him.
“Honey, you have to eat,” Blake pushed. “I’ll just go ahead and make you some chicken noodle. You can just eat it when you get hungry.
“Thanks, I guess I should eat something.” Ted smiled at Blake. They’d been together for a little over three years now and things had been good, if not a tad boring. Blake had started working at Babylon, handling the day to day operations once Kinnetic got so busy that Brian couldn’t do both. Ted was still shocked that Brian had agreed when he’d broached the subject of Blake running the club. But Brian had quickly taken to that idea. Ted could assume it was because he just didn’t want to have to deal with things after Justin left.
His thoughts drifted back to Michael and Debbie. How was Michael going to handle losing his mother? They were closer than any family he’d ever known. The world was sure going to be quieter without Debbie in it.
“Do you think they’ll have the funeral soon?”
Ted looked up as if Blake were speaking Russian. “Funeral? I’m not sure. I guess they have to wait for the police to release the body. I hadn’t really thought about it.”
“It must be so hard for Carl. Is anyone making sure he’s taken care of?”
“Emmett was going to stay in his old room and see to it that Carl ate and things were taken care of around the house. I guess that’s all anyone can really do.”
“Where are Lindsay and Melanie staying?”
“Well Brian picked them up from the airport this morning and took them out to Britin.”
“Really? I thought he’d closed that place up like a fortress since the wedding that didn’t happen?”
“Well Brian’s full of surprises lately. Did you know that he was talking about selling Kinnetic and moving to Italy?”
“Are you kidding? Why would he do that?”
Ted thought awhile before answering. “I guess things just aren’t the same for him here anymore.”
“But what about Justin?”
“I honestly think he’s running away from Justin.”
***
Justin sat in the loft by himself, trying to not cry. Debbie was a second mom to him for so long. And she was the only one who gave him hell for leaving Brian behind. Funny, but he’d always thought she’d be the one to support him, but she’d called him selfish. It took him a long time to see that she was right. He was selfish. Brian had offered him everything he’d ever asked for and he’d thrown it back in his face.
How the hell did he get Brian to believe that he was sorry about everything? And how was he supposed to just sit back while Brian continued to fuck everything that moved?
He thought back to a week ago when he’d sat in the diner during Debbie’s late shift and just talked to her about everything he couldn’t say to Brian.
***
Debbie was sitting in the back booth, sipping a chocolate milkshake and just enjoying the quiet. She loved to work the late shift. The tips were shit, but she actually got a chance to park her ass and enjoy a minute of peace.
Since Carl’s heart attack and subsequent retirement, she’d cut back on her shifts, but still picked up a late one once in awhile. He complained loudly that she needed to retire as well. He kept trying to convince her that they would have fun being home watching tv or going to the museums. But she knew she’d go insane sitting around the house doing nothing all day. She’d been through that after her collapse years ago. Vic was ready to kill her by the end of that.
She loved Carl, but being home was not for her. The bell over the door brought her crashing back to the here and now. She looked up to see Justin sauntering toward her, looking like he’d lost his best friend.
“Hey, Sunshine, to what do I owe this pleasure?”
“Hey Deb,” he smiled, kissing her cheek. “Don’t get up.” He looked around at the empty diner and chuckled. “Kinda dead in here tonight, huh?”
“Yeah, the clubs haven’t closed yet and everyone’s already had dinner, so this is a nice change of pace.”
“How’s Carl?” Justin asked out of concern, not just politeness. He’d always liked Carl Horvath. He made Debbie smile and anyone who did that was alright in his book.
“He’s good. Of course
he hates being home all the time and calls the station so much they’ve
threatened to come handcuff him to the bed.”
“Well that could be fun,” Justin teased.
“Yeah, I thought that too, then remembered his weak heart. I sure wouldn’t want to have to go through what Emmett did with George. If he’s gonna die, it’s certainly not going to be while he’s thrusting away on top of me.”
“Thanks for that mental picture,” Justin shuddered as Debbie laughed. “I’ll never be the same. How are you holding up?”
“Happy to have the diner to keep me busy and get me out of the house. Of course Carl wants me to retire as well, but you know me, I can’t sit still for long. What are you doing here instead of at home with Brian, Sunshine?”
“He’s not there.” Justin looked away as he tried to hold back the tears.
“Babylon?” she asked, not surprised.
“I guess. He doesn’t really tell me a whole hell of a lot anymore.”
“Well, what did you expect? Did you think you could break his heart again and it would all stay the same? He forgave you for Ethan, because he knew he wasn’t giving you what you needed. Then he gave you everything you asked him for and you didn’t want it. That wasn’t easy for him, Sunshine. He went against everything he’d ever been and believed in to be with you.”
“I know and I regret ever walking away but I had to go, Debbie. It was my chance to prove to myself that I could make it on my own.”
“And you did.”
“But I lost Brian.”
“You haven’t lost him, Sunshine. He’s still there, he’s just lost his way.”
They both looked up when the bell rang and saw the man sit at the counter. Debbie got up and went to take his order. As Justin was leaving, Debbie flashed him a smile and the man glared at him. Something about him made Justin leery and he thought twice about leaving, but decided Deb could handle herself. To ease his conscience he reminded himself that Kenny was the cook that night, and could more than handle the thin man if he tried anything.