Part 77

**Warnings:** CHARACTER DEATH.......High emotional content ...KLEENEX ALERT.......YOU MAY NEED MORE THAN ONE BOX.......YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.......

Notes: The journey has ended. This chapter is for Misty who was there from the beginning. Thank you for listening to my irrational rantings about this damn thing. I love you. To Cindy, who never failed to give me that piece of feedback that helped me along. For Lois, you took on a lot when you offered to beta for me, but you know I love you....PS DID YOU HEAR????

To all of the readers who've emailed me or just read, thank you. You've found a way to make me smile even on days I thought I'd never find another reason to. I'm glad you liked this fic and I'm grateful you stuck with it for so long. May you all find a love like Brian and Justin's...

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We lost Sascha and Dad that day, within hours of one another. They told us he had a heart attack. Of course Daddy blamed himself for not noticing the symptoms until it was too late. I tried to tell him that no one blamed him, but we all know that Daddy is a drama queen with a capitol D.

I guess I should tell you what happened next. I guess you'd want to know all of that. So let me go back to that fateful day that changed all of ourlives.

It's been almost five years now since they died. Daddy used to say that Dad died of a broken heart and in a way he was right. It was so hard on Daddy then. He lost not only his child but his soulmate. None of us girls thought he'd make it as long as he did. But I'm getting ahead of myself again.

Let me take us all back to that day in the hospital. Daddy was helping Dad out of Sascha's room when Dad collapsed just outside the door. Frantic, Daddy yelled for help and held onto Dad, stroking his hair and whispering to him how much he loved him.

Doctors and nurses came running and took Dad into a room to examine him.  They of course wouldn't let Daddy stay in there with him and no matter how much Daddy bitched they stuck to their rules.

None of us were sure what to do. Here we were mourning the death of our sister, wife and daughter and then Dad's in the next room fighting for his own life. Though none of us really knew that for sure then.

Willow and Thea held onto Daddy, trying to tell him that Dad was going to be okay. They almost had themselves convinced that it was just the stress of the day that had caused Dad to collapse. Kaelin chimed in with the fact that Dad was getting older and that stress wasn't good for him. Of course Daddy yelled at her. I'll never forget what he said.

"You watch your mouth young lady. Your Dad is still the youngest most beautiful man I know and if he heard you calling him old, he'd be out here bitching you out."

He pulled away from them and made his way to where Amy, BJ and I were sitting. His eyes were full of tears as he took his grandson from Amy and held him close. He was still holding him when the doctor came out a half an hour later.

I wish I could tell you how Daddy felt the moment the doctor broke the news but all I can remember is the devastation on his face. What I can do is share with you his journal that I found just after his passing.

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Brian's gone. That's what they told me, 'he's gone'. Like he went out for a cigarette or some shit. I just felt numb. And I didn't fucking believe them.

Brian wouldn't leave me. Not right after Sascha. He just wouldn't do that to me. He couldn't. Oh my God, Brian's gone. He's really gone.

It didn't really hit me until I saw him lying there. He was just lying there all alone on that bed like he was sleeping. I was so afraid to touch him. I didn't want to feel him cold. My Brian was never cold. Never.

But the second I saw his face I had to kiss him one last time. His lips were just as soft as I remembered. I could almost feel him kiss me back. To my surprise he wasn't cold. It was as if he was waiting for me to say goodbye to him.

But how am I supposed to say goodbye to the person I've spent my whole life loving? How am I supposed to live without him by my side?

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I stood just inside of the door to Dad's room for no reason other than I didn't want Daddy to face this alone. I watched him kiss his lover and my heart lay shattered on the floor for his loss. Sure I'd just lost my father, but I would never feel the loss as greatly as Daddy.

He smoothed Dad's hair back out of his face and straightened the blanket over him just the way I'm sure Dad would've loved. I didn't want to intrude on their last moment together but I couldn't tear myself away.

Daddy sat by his side for hours, talking to him and telling him how much he loved him. One thing stands out in my mind and I'll never forget it as long as I live.

"Brian, all of my life I've loved you and I'll go on loving you for the rest of it as well. I miss you already, baby."

Then I watched as the sobs consumed my father and he laid his head on Dad's chest and clung to him until there were no tears left. It was then that I left the room and sought out my partner and our family.

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The day we buried Dad was probably the hardest of our lives. Just the day before we'd buried Sascha and I didn't think it could be any harder but boy was I wrong.

The day dawned bright and beautiful, just like Dad. When I walked into that church I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. It was as if a piece of my heart was missing and I could only imagine how Daddy felt.

I looked around for him and when I didn't find him I asked the funeral director where he was. He led me back to where Dad lay and there was Daddy just standing there holding his hand. It is an image I will never forget.

Daddy looked so fragile, almost like he was lost without Dad there to stand beside him. For the first time I began to wonder if he would survive without his partner. When it was time for the service, Daddy had a hard time letting go.

I went to him and offered him my love and support, because I had nothing else to give him. I remember walking with him behind Dad's coffin as Michael, Ted, Emmett, Ben, Gus and a few of Dad's other friends carried it to the front of the church. It was all I could do to keep him standing.

I sat up front with my sisters, my mom and Daddy. I held Daddy's hand the entire service until it was time for him to speak. We'd heard from Michael and mom. Emmett had also spoken but no one was prepared for Daddy's eulogy.

I guess we all knew it was going to happen, but to see him standing up there looking down at Dad lying there was just too much for us all. The church was overflowing with people who'd come to pay their respects to my father and there wasn't a dry eye in the place when Daddy stood up.

The room was silent while he stood there, tears flowing, trying to gather his courage to say goodbye to his lover publicly.

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"I never thought I'd have to do this, Brian. I never thought you'd ever actually leave me forever. I've loved you since that first night I saw you on Liberty Avenue. I've loved you all of my life. How could I have known at seventeen years old that I'd met my soul mate? You've given me so much love and strength for so many years. Thank you.

Thank you for loving me. Thank you for putting up with my drama queen moments. Thank you for being you. From the first moment we met, you gave me everything you had to offer. Even when we weren't together, you continued to give me things I never even knew I needed.

You never lost faith in me, even when I gave you every reason to. And you never stopped loving me, even after I broke your heart. You gave me joy and happiness and heartache and love and despair and anger and more love. You gave so much of yourself to me without even knowing it

You were more than my partner, you were my best friend, my lover and the man I always wished I could be. I will never stop loving you. You once promised me that even death couldn't tear us apart so I'm counting on you to be right.

I love you Brian. I love you."

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He just stood there crying until Michael rushed to help him down. They stopped by Dad's coffin and Daddy kissed him one last time before the top was closed and the service continued to the graveside.

Needless to say the next few years were hard on Daddy. He eventually tried to have some kind of life without Dad, but he never ever stopped loving him.  He continued with his art, showing select pieces around the country. By then Daddy was pretty well known and highly respected in the art world.

He set up a scholarship in Dad's name for abused children and opened a cancer wing in the hospital in honor of Sascha.

Daddy lasted three years after Dad died before finally giving up the fight.  The doctors said he went peacefully in his sleep of a brain aneurysm, but we know that he died of a broken heart. Without Dad, he had no reason to live and it was time for them to be together again.

Dylan remarried a few months ago. He still stops by and we all love his new wife. Sascha would approve.

Gus moved back home and has even settled down with a nice young man. He's running a small bike shop on Liberty Avenue now and I'm sure Dad would be so proud of him.

Willow and Rick are still married and are expecting their third child this summer. They have twin girls named Justina Kinney and Brianna Taylor.

Kaelin and Evan have a son who just turned a year old yesterday. Ethan was even at both of our father's funerals to show his respect. I thought it was a nice gesture and I even think Daddy thought so as well.

Thea is still recording and touring. After her torrid affair with her assistant ended, she started to date a woman from one of my yoga classes and two years later they are still together. How she puts up with my sister is beyond me but if she can stand her then it must be love.

Mom and Julie are still together and we all get together once a month for dinner and discuss our lives. Lucky for all of us Mom knew Daddy and Dad when they were young and she regales us with stories of the beginning of their love affair.

Amy and I are still living in the house, raising our son. BJ is in school now and smart as a whip. He looks so much like Daddy it's scary. We've been talking about finding a donor and giving him a little sister soon.

I go visit Dad and Daddy often just to fill them in on what's going on in our lives. Everytime I'm there I think of what Dad used to say. "Even death can't tear us apart Sunshine."

You know he was right. Their love was strong enough to survive it all. And I want you to know, even in death they're still in love.

THE END..............

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