I Want You to Know

Part 70

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I woke to find Dylan still sitting by my bed, holding my hand. I smiled  sleepily at him and he pressed a light kiss to my forehead.

"Hey there beautiful."

"If you still think I'm beautiful when I've been puking my guts up all day then I am definitely keeping you around, Mr. McKinley."

"You are at your most beautiful when your head is in the toilet, baby." His laughter filled the room and I smiled even brighter. Dylan always made me feel beautiful and special.

We were playing poker an hour later when Dad stopped by. He smiled at me and then looked at Dylan disapprovingly. Dylan was quickly on his feet, extending his hand to my father. Dad ignored the gesture and brushed past him.

"Hey kiddo, how're you feeling?"

"I'm a lot better since Dylan's been here keeping me company." I was trying my best to get my Dad to acknowledge that Dylan was in my life to stay.

"Is that so?" Dad turned to face Dylan, "So you've been spending time here with Sascha?"

"Yes, sir," Dylan stammered. "And I plan to spend everyday here until she goes home. Then I'd like to be able to spend time with her there as well."

"And what makes you think that I'd allow that?"

Anger welled up inside of me and I spoke without thinking. "Dad, don't you dare pull the overprotective father shit with me. If I want to spend time with Dylan, I will and there is nothing you can do about it."

"Now listen here, little girl,"....

"In case you haven't noticed, Dad, I am NOT a little girl anymore. I'm making decisions about my life everyday and I want Dylan in my life. There is nothing you can do to stop me."

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Dylan stood at the back of the room watching this frail girl tell her father that he had no control over her life. This was the woman he loved and he loved her even more at this moment. She was the strongest and most stubborn person he had ever known. He knew that life with her would never be boring and he looked forward to spending the rest of his life making her smile.

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Brian stood listening to this little girl, weak from chemo and just recently out of a coma, tell him that he had no control over her life. He hated that she was so much like Justin was at her age. He knew that she would not allow him to control her life and he wanted to pick her up out of that bed and take her home and lock her in her room forever. All he ever wanted was to protect his daughters and he had recently realized that he had absolutely no say in their lives.

He was reeling at that revelation and this was not what he needed to hear. He had stopped by to see how his little girl was doing and here she was telling him she was all grown up and didn't need him anymore.

He turned and left the room before the tears began to fall down his cheeks. He refused to let his daughter see him cry.

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I found him sitting on a marble bench outside of the cafeteria smoking a cigarette. I stood back in the shadows watching him wipe the tears from his eyes. I was trying to gather the courage to say something to him when he turned and spotted me. Taking a deep breath I slowly walked over and sat down beside him.

"Mr. Kinney, Brian, maybe I'm out of line here but I have to say something. You have to understand what Sascha is going through. She has spent the last few months of her life fighting a disease that has controlled everything from when she sleeps to when she feels good. Right now she is grasping at any ounce of control she can find. She hates feeling so uninvolved in her own life. She has people telling her what her blood counts are and who can visit her. All she wants is something she can make decisions about. Unfortunately that is me."

Silence loomed between us and I waited a few minutes before continuing. "I love her. I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't. And because I love her so much, I know how you feel seeing her in there. I never knew her before her illness like you did so I can only imagine how vibrant she was. My God Brian, she is so beautiful and so strong right now that I'm afraid when she's well she won't need me in her life anymore. You'll always be in her life, you're the man she looks up to. You're who she wants to be."

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I lay in bed wondering just what my father and Dylan were talking about. I was awfully hard on my Dad but I will NOT let him think he can run my life. I love Dylan. I need Dylan. And there wasn't a damn thing my Dad could do to change that.

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Who the hell was this man sitting here telling me he loves my daughter? And why the fuck does he make sense? I don't want him to be in love with my little girl. She doesn't need that now. She needs me.

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"I'm not going anywhere Brian. I love her. No matter what happens, I will always love her."

I stood and left him sitting there with his head in his hands. All I could think about was Sascha upstairs all alone. I ran the four flights of stairs not wanting to wait on the elevator. Pushing open the door I found her sitting up in bed. She smiled at me and everything was right with the world again.

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Brian sat on that bench for what seemed like hours thinking about what Dylan had said to him. This man loved his daughter. He really did love her. Brian wasn't ready to let his little girl go just yet. He had been so overprotective of Sascha since she came back home. Then she got sick and he wanted to hold her close and protect her from the evils of the world.

His mind flashed to Justin and the love they had shared all these years. As a smile played across his face he knew that he could not deny his daughter that feeling. He hurried home, anxious to talk with Justin about the plan already forming in his mind.

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