I Want You to Know
Part 66
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I stared at my phone disbelievingly at first then it hit me, "Oh my God he thinks she's dead." I hit redial and waited impatiently for him to answer.Getting his voicemail, I left a message and ran to the hospital garage. I found my rental car and sped back to the house, all the while thinking of dad alone in Japan believing that Sascha was dead.
"What have I done?", I murmured aloud at a stoplight completely unaware of
the people staring at me in the other cars. Sometimes I forgot who I was.
Lost in my thoughts I didn't notice the light had changed until I heard the
insistent horn blowing behind me. Speeding off I tried to focus on driving
until I pulled up into the driveway.
I sat in that little red sports car for what seemed hours just staring at
my childhood home. I thought about all the good times I'd had there with
my sisters. I laughed remembering the time that dad tried to build us a tree
house and how some of mom's friends actually came over and finished it so
it would be safe. Dad never was very handy.
Then there was the time that we all went camping in the backyard. I wanted
to go to the mountains but dad quickly nixed that idea. I later found out
that there was no electricity in campsites there and that dad wouldn't have
had a very good time. So we made the best of it and spent two whole nights
in that tent. It wasn't until I was older that it dawned on me that dad was
not an outdoorsy kind of man. He liked all the comforts of modern life, yet
he had spent two long days and nights in the most uncomfortable tent with
five girls. Yep it was true, Brian Kinney loved us more than
anything.
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I sat at the bar, staring at the bottle of whiskey in front of me and thought
about Justin. I picked up my shot glass and twisted the top off the bottle,
ready to pour another when I thought of his blue eyes full of tears and something
stopped me. Tightening the top I threw enough money on the bar to cover my
drinks and the bottle and headed out the door. Bottle in hand I wandered
the streets of Tokyo for the next hour trying to convince myself that I wasn't
a bad partner or father.
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My assistant Carrie woke me just before landing and it took me a couple of
seconds to remember what I was doing on a plane. Carrie fastened my seatbelt
and smiled prettily at me like she always did. I don't know how I would've
survived the last few months without her. She was a beautiful young girl
and I knew she had a crush on me. If she hadn't been my assistant I would've
fucked her in a heartbeat.
I shook the thought out of my head. No need in starting that line of thinking when it could never happen. Besides daddy would kill me if he even thought I had an inkling of banging Carrie.
Stepping off the plane I remembered exactly why I needed Carrie. The scene
was crazy. Somehow word had gotten out that I was due to arrive in Tokyo
that day and there was a mob waiting for me all screaming my name. Sometimes
I really hated being famous.
After several minutes of autographs, Carrie finally maneuvered me through
the crowd to the waiting limo. Slipping into the back, I massaged my temples
trying my best to ward off the headache that threatened to become full blown
any second now.
"Thea, are you sure you can do this alone?"
I stared at Carrie through half closed eyes, marveling at how much I liked
her. "No, but I have to make sure he's ok."
"He's the parent, not you."
"Sometimes I wonder about that." I closed my eyes again and listened to her
breathing for the next few miles.
We pulled up in front of the building that Sony kept an apartment for dad
at and I told Carrie to go ahead to the hotel and settle in. She protested
but in the end I won, as usual. She knew when to give in and this was one
of those times. I watched her pull away in the limo before stepping into
the well-decorated lobby.
I stood hesitantly outside of my father's door, not quite sure I had the
strength to do this. I was about to turn and run when the elevator opened
and dad stepped out, a bottle of Jim Beam in his hands. I stared at the bottle
half expecting it to wave at me. He must have seen the shock on my face because
he brushed past me without a word. Opening the door he let himself in leaving
it open for me.
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I couldn't believe my eyes. Thea was standing in the hall just outside of
my door. How the hell did that happen? I opened the door and went inside
without a word to her. She had seen the bottle in my hand and I knew what
she was thinking. If she only knew.
"Dad, I need to talk to you about Sascha." Her voice broke and I felt my
heart sink again. What was there to say about my dead daughter?
I walked away from her and sank down into the sofa, setting the bottle down
on the table in front of me just to remind me that booze was not the
answer.
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I studied my father, his eyes red and puffy and his clothes wrinkled. I had
never seen him look less than perfect in all these years. He was definitely
disheveled and looked like he had been through hell in the last few days.
I sat next to him on the couch and took his hand in mine. His devastated
look when I mentioned Sascha's name sent shockwaves through me. In an instant
I knew what I had to do.
Standing I held out my hand to my father, "come on Dad, I'm taking you
home."
His hand felt soft and weak in mine as he let me take control of his life.
It was something he rarely did and meant more to me than words ever could.
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