I Want You to Know

Part 63

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"Dad, can we talk?" I ask hesitantly. I'm not quite sure what I want to say to him but I have to make this right again.

"Sure sonnyboy." He smiles at me for just a moment and I feel like I'm twelve years old again. Choosing the chair across the room from him I wait until Justin excuses himself before beginning.

"Dad, I don't know what to do anymore. I came here to support Sascha and spend some time with my family but it's just been one thing after another between us."

"That’s not what I want either sonnyboy. I wanted to spend time with you, get to know you again. Something has happened that makes you hate me and I don't know what it is."

"Nothing really happened dad. I left because I wanted to be my own man and not be in your shadow anymore. I just wanted people to like me for me and not because I was your son. Do you know how hard it is to keep being reminded of how great your father is all the time?"

"Not really."

"Dad, I love you but I have to try to make my own way. Without you in the way."

"Gus, I've never stood in your way. Do you think that I liked you moving to California? I hated the thought of my son so far away. Gus, I can't change my past. Its always going to be there no matter where you run. I'm always going to be your father. There’s no changing that. I love you and I want you to be happy but I can't give you that. You have to find a way to live your life and be happy and still be my son."

"And what happens if I can't do that dad?"

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I walked into the hospital to find Sascha pale and leaning over the bed vomiting. It wasn't until she sat up again that I noticed her bald head. Her face was swollen and she looked like death had come calling in the night. She lay back against the stark white pillows and closed her eyes, oblivious that I was even there. Motioning to Lindsay I stepped outside.

"What the fuck happened?"

"She's had a rough night, Justin. The new medication they have her on is making her sick."

"Have they called Dr. Essig to have him change it?"

"The nurse has paged him. Justin I'm worried about her. She doesn't look good and she's been throwing up for over an hour now."

"Has she eaten tonight?"

"Nothing. She told me that there was no point in eating something she was just going to throw back up anyway.  I  got her to drink some flat coke to help settle her stomach but she didn't keep it down."

"Shit Lindsay. Look, you go get some air or something I'll sit with her for an hour. Gus and Brian are finally talking and I want to give them some time alone."

"Thanks, Justin. I have my cell if anything happens."

Stepping back inside, I hear her even breathing and know she's sleeping. She looks so sick right now. For the first time since the diagnosis she looks like a cancer patient. I'm terrified she's going to die. I tell myself to not think that way but I can't help it. Looking at her like this makes my heart sink.

Her long blonde hair is gone and there are dark circles under her eyes.  She's so thin and fragile. I want to call Brian but I know that he needs this time with Gus and there is nothing he can do for her anyway.

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"Gus, I don't know what else to do for you. Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

"Give me space and time dad. I'm going back to California in two days. I have to straighten out some things and get Bruiser. I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"Will you come home?"

"Yeah, the one thing I've figured out is that this truly is my home despite everything. Listen dad, I know you love me. I also know that no matter what you say, you'll always love the girls more because you got to raise them and be with them everyday. That's ok dad. I understand. Just promise me that you'll always find a way to love me just a little more."

"I do love you sonny boy. That will never change."

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I came home to a dark, silent house. Taking the stairs two at a time I opened our bedroom door to find Brian fast asleep on the couch in the sitting room. I decided to go to the bathroom before waking him. Turning on the shower I stepped out of my jeans and tee and stepped under the hot stream.

I had lathered up my hair and stood with my eyes closed when I felt his hands on my waist. Turning I smiled at him, my eyes still shut. He pushed me back under the water and massaged my hair as he rinsed the shampoo out. His soft lips met mine in a deep kiss, his tongue pressing for entrance. I happily let him in and kissed him with all I had.

His hands moved down and caressed my ass. I was still under the stream and Brian stepped closer to press his hard cock against my abdomen. I groaned out loud at the contact and felt my own cock jump to attention. I backed him against the glass wall and ground my hips against him. In one swift movement he had my face against the glass and he was thrusting deep into me. His thickness filled me and I moaned loudly. I loved the feel of him thrusting in and out, his balls slapping against my ass. My own cock spewed precum and I stroked myself until I felt that tightening of my balls that meant I was ready. Throwing my head back he captured my lips in a kiss and I came in long spurts. My channel tightened around him and then I was full of his hot, sticky cum.

An hour later we lay in bed wrapped around one another. He was the first to speak.

"Gus is going back to California."

"Brian, you have to do something to stop him. Don't just let your son walk out of your life. You'll  regret it forever."

"He's not going forever.  He's coming home in a few weeks. For good."

"That's great honey. Did you guys get things straightened out?"

"To an extent. He is having a real tough time being known as my kid. Seems that my reputation precedes me."

"Very funny, Mr. King Of All Gay PA."

"I haven't been that in a long time, Sunshine. Some blond twink stole my heart and the rest is history."

"You'll always be a super stud to me."

"Thanks, baby. How's Sascha?"

"Not good."

"Did something happen?", he asked sitting up with fear in his eyes.

"No, she's just feeling the effects of the medicine. Brian I have to prepare you for what you'll find. She's lost all of her hair. She's very very thin and very pale. She doesn't even look like she did yesterday."

I watched him struggle with the fear deep inside of him and knew that this trip to Japan was going to be the hardest one of his life.

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