I Want You to Know

Part 60

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I stood on Liberty Ave just outside of Babylon debating whether I wanted to go in. I flashed back to that night and the trick I had thought was Michael and my decision was made. I had to find him, somehow, someway. I couldn't get him out of my mind. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part that it was Michael. Maybe I just wanted to be able to put a face to the best head I've ever had in my life.

I knew it was a long shot but I still had to look. I stepped into the club and was instantly energized by the loud thumping rhythm that assaulted me. The lights flashed in different colors around me and I felt dizzy for a moment. Pushing my way through the sweat soaked, bare chested mass of bodies I leaned across the bar and ordered a double Beam. Just like dear old dad I thought to myself.

Shaking off that thought I downed my drink and ordered another. I needed to calm my nerves and only another double could do that tonight. I leaned back against the bar and scanned the crowd looking for anyone who seemed familiar. After several minutes I spotted an old friend and pushed my way back across the room. I leaned in close to the dark haired man and yelled over the music.

"Hey, Jerry, how's it going?"

"Gus? Gus Kinney? Is that you? Holy fucking shit, I thought you'd fallen off the face of the Earth. When the hell did you get back?"

"A few days ago. My sister is sick and I flew it to spend sometime with her."

"Yeah, I heard about your little sis. Give her my love."

"Thanks man." I looked around my old stomping grounds and marveled at how things were just the way I remembered. "This place sure hasn't changed."

"Nope, thank God. The backroom is still the best place to get head around."

"Yeah I know."

"Hey, man I gotta split," he said motioning towards a tall blonde in the corner. "But if you're around later we usually head to the diner around one. Stop by if you can."

"Will do. Later man." I watched as he was pulled into a passionate kiss by the taller man and led to the backroom. I turned to go get another drink and ran right into a hard muscular chest. Looking up I found myself staring into the most beautiful pair of blue eyes next to Justin Taylor. I stood staring for a few minutes before he spoke.

"Sorry, sometimes this place is just wall to wall bodies."

"No problem. It’s been awhile since I've felt muscles that tight."

We both laughed at my attempt at humor and I offered to buy him a drink. He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the ocean of men like it was the parting of the Red Sea.

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"How'd it go with Gus?" I asked my partner. His look said it all. I wished that somehow I could make it better for him.

"Do you have to ask? The kid hates me."

"He doesn't hate you baby. He's just going through a rough time right now and on top of that you told him that what he thought happened with Michael, didn't. That can't be easy to hear, Brian. Give him time, let him work through it on his own."

He kissed me fully on the lips and settled back into bed, pulling the blankets up over his chest. He had such a sad expression on his face that my heart broke for him. This was our last night together for God knows how long and we were spending it talking about our children. We really were turning into old married people.

"I had a long talk with Dylan today."

"About Sascha no doubt."

"Of course. I told him in no uncertain times that if he hurts her I'll kill him."

"Damnit Brian stay out of it."

"Like you ever thought that would happen."

I laughed despite myself and settled back against his chest. Yawning I tried to explain to him why he should let the love blossom for Sascha and Dylan.

"Brian, honey, I know that you love Sascha and think you're protecting her but you're not. Leave them alone. She is really excited about the possibility of something happening with Dylan. She hasn't really ever had the love and romance and now when her world has fallen apart it may have just happened for her. Don't deprive her of something that could be great."

I was met with light snoring and frustrated I turned off the light and snuggled closer to him.

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I wasn't sure what I was doing here but I just had to see her. Brian had warned me about hurting her and I swear I had no intention of doing that. I just needed to see her again. I couldn't get her smile out of my head all day.

Knocking lightly on the door, I waited for admittance. She called out softly, sounding almost weak and I pushed my way in before I lost my nerve. I was rewarded with her smile and felt a warm feeling flow over me. She was more beautiful than I remembered. I stood staring at her silently for what seemed hours. Finally I spoke. "Hi Sascha, I hope you don't mind my coming by."

"Not at all Dylan. I'm glad you're here. I hope my dad wasn't too hard on you earlier."

"Well he is your father. He loves you and I can understand why he worries about you."

"He can be too overprotective. Sometimes I just wish he'd go away and let me live my life."

"He's just being Brian. Don't be so hard on him." I pulled up a chair and reached out for her hand. "Your dad said that you were never here alone. Where is he?"

"Oh dad isn't here tonight. He and daddy are home, probably having sex. That is all they ever do. My mom is staying with me but she went to get some coffee and call her partner."

"Your mom is gay too?"

"Yep."

"Wow,  what was it like to grow up with gay parents?" I could see the anger flash through her eyes and quickly explained what I meant. "I meant that I never really knew anyone gay before I met Brian. Shit, that didn't come out right either."

"Its ok Dylan. I've been asked that question a thousand times. Growing up with my dads was great. We had so much fun. Dad always made sure we had everything  we wanted. He took us to the park and fishing. It was so much fun growing up with them."

"Wow sounds like you guys are really close. You're lucky, my family never did anything together."

"Tell me about your family, Dylan." She was staring at me with such interest that I found myself opening up to her despite myself.

"I was raised by nannies. I never really spent anytime with my mom or dad. They were always off doing something else. Dad was at work twenty hours a day and mom was usually off getting something tucked or lipoid. It wasn't bad though; I pretty much did whatever I wanted. When I was sixteen they bought me a Porsche for my birthday. When I graduated high school they sent me and all my friends to the South of France for a month."

"Cool."

"Then when I graduated from Dartmouth I got a trust fund. Don't get me wrong it was fun Sascha. I got to party and play and still get into a good school. Thanks to dad and his donation to the building fund. Sometimes though I really missed the family time other kids got."

She rested her hands on my arm and I could see the sympathy in her eyes. I looked down at her soft full lips and before I could stop myself I kissed her. Her lips were even softer than they looked. I went slow and licked the bottom of her lip before pressing for entrance. We were deep in the kiss when she pulled back unexpectedly. I saw the blush creep across her cheeks and her hand went to her hair, smoothing it.

She was shy and that was not something I was used to. I wanted her enough to take the time she needed and I reassured her with a smile. She sat back in her bed and we talked for hours. When I looked at the clock, I was shocked to see it was past nine. I kissed her softly on the cheek and left to find her mother sitting just outside the door. The beautiful blonde smiled at me as she stood and breezed past me into the room.

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I was still leaning against the bar talking to him when I realized that I still didn't know his name. Leaning in to hear , I asked him what his name was.  

"Jared, and you're Gus. I know all about you."

"Jared, have we met before?"

"Hmmmm, yeah I thought you'd remember me considering you were enjoying yourself that night."

"Were you the guy in the backroom the other night?"

"I was, until your boyfriend showed up. So are you all alone tonight?'

"Jared, I have no boyfriend." I said grabbing him and pulling him across the club to the backroom.

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