I Want You to Know

Part 49

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The morning of Jennifer's funeral I woke to find Justin still sitting in the chair, staring blankly at the wall. He hadn't said much in the last three days and I was starting to worry about him. His mother's death had hit him hard. Jennifer had been a big influence in his life and his biggest supporter. She had never failed him, nor had she ever given him anything but love. He was lucky to have a mother like her. Over the years, Jennifer and I had become close as well. We learned that we both wanted what was best for Justin and that we both loved him more than anything else in our lives. She sort of became the mother I had always wanted Joan to be. Thank God for Jennifer, she was always there when we needed her.

Now she was gone and Justin still hadn't cried. That was what worried me the most, he wasn't allowing himself to feel the pain. He somehow thought that he had to be strong for Molly and the girls. I longed to see him just give in and let it all out but he wasn't obliging. I had called the girls and all five were planning to be at the funeral for their grandmother. Thea was flying in this morning and would just make the funeral, while the other girls planned to meet us at the house so we could all go together.

Justin had been in no shape to handle the arrangements and Molly was just too grief-stricken to even call her father. I jumped in and took over the arrangements. The funeral was to take place at three this afternoon with a reception to follow at our house. Emmett was catering it for us and Debbie of course offered  her help. Jennifer and Debbie had become good friends after Justin came out. They seemed to draw strength from one another and Debbie claimed it was Jennifer who gave more in the relationship. They made an odd pair sitting in the coffee shop but Jennifer was the first to stand up to the people who wanted to put Deb down for the way she looked.

Jennifer had affected us all in a good way and she would be missed dearly. I rolled out of the bed and went over to where Justin was sitting and kissed him gently, stroking his hair. His blue eyes seemed so distant and he looked so sad that my heart broke for him all over again. Taking his hand I pulled him to the shower with me, desperate for him to feel anything.

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I felt him take my hand and I wasn't quite sure what he was up to until we reached the shower and he turned it on. He stripped me of my sweats and t-shirt and I stood naked before him like I had millions of times before but today it felt different. Somehow it didn't excite me like it used to. I longed to feel anything but there was nothing there.  I let him lead me into the glass enclosure  and almost smiled at him when he began to soap me up from head to toe. If I hadn't been so exhausted or so lost, I would have laughed at him treating me like a baby. Brian had been taking care of me for years, but this felt different, almost like I was a child. I guess in some ways I was his child, he had taught me so much over the years.

I had fallen in love with Brian when I was just a child, but I'd met every obstacle he'd put in our way with the determination of a man in love. Thank God he finally gave in or else I dread to think what my life would be like now. I had loved Brian since I could remember, sometimes I think I've loved him forever. It was as if we were meant to find one another, to fall in love and share our lives like this. Brian was my support when I needed it most and I in return was his. Our life together was anything but ordinary or dull, and that is what made it so special.

His hands on my dick brought me back to the present with a shudder and I groaned from the pleasure a simple touch from him could give me. That one simple groan was all he needed and he began the slow delicious torture he was so good at inflicting on my body. As he stroked me into hardness, I finally let myself feel something since my mother's death. I wrapped my arms around him and hung on for dear life. I needed to feel alive right now and as always Brian knew exactly what it was I needed even before I did.

His hands deftly stroked me and I gave myself over to the sensations that were coursing through my body at his hands. My mind recalled all those times he had made love to me in the shower, all those times I had felt alive just because Brian Kinney was holding me. This time was no different. For the first time in days I felt alive. When he took me into his mouth I shivered at the warmth. His mouth was doing things to my body that I had only dreamt of.

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Brian sat in the first pew with the family and thought back over that morning and the time spent in the shower with his partner. As he knelt before Justin, pleasuring him, he just wanted him to feel. Something. Anything.  He couldn't stand to see him hurting so much and not be able to feel the pain. He watched Justin's eyes cloud with tears as he took his length into his mouth, letting the head of his cock rest against the back of his throat. As he moved his head back and forth, taking Justin to the brink of orgasm, Brian prayed that it would work. Just before Justin fell over the edge, Brian pulled back and pushed his lover face first against the glass
and pushed deep into him without warning.

Justin moaned Brian's name loudly and threw his head back in desire, ready to take more of what Brian could give him. Brian gave him everything he had, pressing against Justin's prostate with every thrust. As Justin's moans increased, Brian's control weakened. With one final thrust both men fell completely over the edge and enjoying the sensation of climaxing together. When Brian opened his eyes, he saw the tears coursing down Justin's cheeks and pulled him to his chest, allowing him to sob against him. They stood there like that until the water ran cold, and then left the shower, Brian's strong, protective arms still wrapped around his partner.

As Brian dried Justin off he kissed his cheek and whispered words of love and comfort. Justin stood still sobbing quietly, allowing Brian to take over even the simplest task, going so far as to allow the older man to assist him in brushing his teeth. He dressed the blond in a dark suit and tie and sat him down on the bed as he dressed himself in Armani. When they were both presentable, Brian led Justin down the stairs to wait for their daughters to arrive before going to the church.

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It had been two hours since the funeral and Justin seemed to be holding up fine, Molly on the other hand had me worried. She hadn't eaten anything in days and she held onto a scotch like it was the only thing standing between her and death. Justin's little sister was no longer little, she was a grown woman with a daughter of her own. Her life had not been easy, but she had managed to survive it with the same strength Justin possessed. She had married at an early age, had Megan, and divorced all before she turned 25. Luckily she had a great support system in Jennifer and Justin. Craig never had much to do with her after she married. He said she had betrayed the family by marrying an African American, although he'd used much harsher words. Molly told him to go fuck himself and cut him out of her life all together after that.

I watched with great interest as Craig tried to talk to her now. Molly seemed uncomfortable but more than capable of holding her own against her father. Debbie stayed close, watching over her just as she had with me and any other lost soul who needed a helping hand over the years. More than once in my life I had been thankful for her presence and her honesty with me. I cleared my head of the thought and focused back on Craig and Molly, straining to hear what he was saying to her.

"Molly will you just listen to me?" Craig begged her.

"No dad, I won't. This is mom's funeral, not your shot at being a great dad, because frankly you could never be one. I don't want to hear anything you have to say."

"But Molly, I love you, you know that. I just want a chance to get to know you and my granddaughter better."

"Why now dad? What makes you think that you can worm your way back into my life now, when for the last ten years you didn't want anything to do with me or your granddaughter? Is it because you think I'm weak or because you realized that Megan doesn't look black, so you don't have to think about the fact? Well guess what, dad, there will never be a time when I will want to know you better, and I will never let you anywhere near my daughter. All you know is hate, hate for Justin because he's gay, hate for me because I fell in love with Anthony, hate for mom because she loved us no matter what. You make me sick and you don't deserve to be here. GET OUT DAD!"

I saw her hands shaking and took that as my cue to interrupt. Just as I stood, Justin beat me to it. He was there in an instant, his arm around her shoulder, his eyes full of fury as he stood face to face with his father.

"You have one chance to get out of here alive," Justin growled at his father. I could tell that he was serious, but it seemed Craig wasn't budging.

"I'm not going anywhere you little faggot. She was my wife."

Before any of us knew what was happening, Justin's fist connected with his father's jaw and Craig went staggering backwards, falling into the wall. Rubbing his jaw, he stood to fight back only to be stopped by me.

"Get out of here, Craig."

"You stay the fuck out of it you child molester."

"Dad, I'm warning you, get out now," Justin seethed between clenched teeth. I stood between him and his father and managed to keep Justin behind my back as I escorted Craig out the front door. After slamming the door in his face, I turned to Justin, took him in my arms and held him close as he let go of his emotions. I stroked his pale hair as he sobbed against my chest, holding onto me as if letting go would mean he had lost. I whispered into his ear, trying to convince him that it was all going to be ok when I wasn't even sure it was myself.

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