I Want You to Know

Part 46

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Kaelin spun around to find her father standing before her and almost forgot to breathe. "Dad, what are you doing here? How did you know?"

"You didn't think we were going to let you get married without us did you? Who would walk you down the aisle?"

"You aren't mad?" Kaelin was in shock and couldn't believe how cool her dad was being about her marriage considering who she was marrying.

"No, I'm not mad, just upset that you ran off to marry Evan instead of staying and talking to us about it." Brian pulled his daughter into an embrace and steered her away from Evan for a minute. "Kaelin, your father is outside and he would like to talk to you in private if that is ok with you."

"Dad, he's not going to try to talk me out of it is he?"

"No, he's come to terms with it, but he did have a few things he wanted to talk to you about. Give him a chance honey he may just surprise you."

Kaelin agreed to speak with Justin and went to Evan to let him know what was going on and that she needed a few more minutes to make things right with her daddy before the ceremony. Evan kissed his bride to be and turned to find his own fathers standing next to Justin. He knew all about his father's past with Justin Taylor-Kinney. Ethan had filled him in on the whole back-story when Evan first mentioned dating Kaelin.

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Justin was waiting just outside the small chapel when Ethan Gold arrived. He was still captivating and for just a second Justin could almost see why it was he had left Brian for him. Ethan was good at giving you what you wanted and making you feel like you were the only one in his life. Too bad he couldn't hold a candle to Brian. He never could and frankly he hadn't aged well. Justin couldn't help thinking how lucky he was to have Brian in his life as he watched Ethan with his partner. They seemed to be in love but their relationship was nothing like what he had with Brian.

He watched the two men with veiled interest and noticed the body language between them. Steven seemed to keep his distance from Ethan and they rarely touched. He thought about Brian and how he couldn't keep his hands off of his partner. Hell they made love in the bathroom on the plane last night. Justin couldn't get enough of Brian Kinney and it was no secret that Brian loved Justin beyond all else.

Ethan walked over to Justin, "Hi Justin, nice to see you again."

"Yeah, hi, Ethan. How are you?"

"I'm good. Oh this is Steven, Evan's father."

"Nice to meet you Steven," Justin extended a hand to the other man and smiled politely. He wasn't interested in the Ethan Gold saga and made his excuses and went to find his daughter. He found her coming out of the chapel and hugged her tight. They walked a ways while talking.

"Daddy, I'm sorry I ran off but you were trying to make me stop seeing Evan and I still don't understand why." Kaelin watched the emotions play across her father's face and waited for him to tell her the real reason.

"Kaelin, it's not that I don't want you to be happy. I would just prefer it not be with Evan Gold."

"Why daddy? You owe me that at least."

"His father and I used to be a couple and I just think it would be weird to have you married to my ex-lover's child."

"Daddy, it's not like there is any possibility he's your son, so what's the problem? So you fucked his dad when you were younger, I don't care. If we weren't allowed to date relatives of all the tricks you and dad have fucked over the years, there would be a serious man shortage in the Pitts."

"I do care, baby."

"Daddy, you and dad have been together for years and you're more in love now than most people are when they get married. Are you scared that dad will start to remember about Mr. Gold?"

"No, your father knows all about Ethan. He's fine with this. I just worry that Ethan will somehow use your relationship with Evan to weasel his way back into my life. I love you Kaelin and I don't want you to get hurt because of something from my past."

"Daddy, it's my life and I love Evan. I want to marry him, I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I want to have children with him and make a life with him. I want what you and dad have. Evan is *my* Brian Kinney, daddy."

"Evan could never hold a candle to your father, Kaelin." Justin watched as his daughter's face collapsed in sadness and added, "but if you love him and he loves you, then that's all that matters."

"What are you saying daddy?" Kaelin watched her father hopefully, anxious for his answer.

"I'm saying that I won't stand in your way." He hesitated before adding, "on one condition."

"What?"

"Don't move far, and never ever let Evan Gold hold you back from anything you want. You have an amazing talent, Kae. I have faith that you'll go far in the art world. Just don't get caught up in everything that comes with being young and married. Make sure you take time to live your dreams."

"Thank you daddy," she jumped into her father's arms and held him tight.

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I stepped out of the small chapel to find my daughter and my partner in tears, happy tears thankfully. I stood back and just watched for a few minutes. It never failed to amaze me how much I loved this man and our children.  I cleared my throat to let them know I was here and they both turned to me with huge smiles.

"Look at you kiddo, you look just like your father. Evan is one lucky man."

"Yes, I am Mr. Taylor-Kinney."

I turned to find him watching my daughter with the same look I've caught Justin staring at me with and it was that moment I knew that he really did love my little girl. Kaelin stepped out of Justin's embrace and  ran to her husband to be and kissed him softly on the lips. I studied them intently as they laughed and touched.

Evan held her like a lover and she responded in kind. I knew that someday I would have to face the fact that my little girls would have sex but I never knew it would bother me as much. They were so young and their lives were blossoming before my eyes. I still thought of them as little girls, not the young women they were. Some days it surprised me to realize all that had occurred in eighteen short years.

Sara had a baby and a partner. Sascha had lived on her own and survived. Willow was getting married in a few short months. Thea was on her way to being the next big star and here I was standing just outside the wedding chapel Kaelin was going to be married in shortly. I almost couldn't believe that Justin and I had made it this far.

I was still standing there lost in thought when my lover wrapped his arms around me and kissed me lightly on the neck. Instantly back to the present I turned and took him in my embrace, holding him close as I kissed him with a passion I felt to my very soul.

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Kaelin and Evan sat on a small bench just outside the chapel and discussed their plans. After several minutes Evan stood and gathered their families together.

"First, let me say that it is nice to finally have you all in the same room. Thank you for coming even though it was a surprise to us. Kaelin and I have talked it over and have decided not to get married today."

Everyone began to talk at once until Evan whistled. "Now don't get overly excited, we haven't called off the wedding altogether, just postponed it until tomorrow. Seems my bride would like some girl time with her mother and sisters tonight. So, in that light, we will just try this again tomorrow."

Justin looked at his daughter and smiled at her, "are you sure about this, Kae?"

"Yep, I am daddy. I would like my sisters to be part of my wedding and this gives us time to shop."

Brian stepped forward and kissed her cheek, pressing his credit card into her hand. "Go buy yourself the most fabulous wedding dress my American Express can buy."

"Thanks, dad."

Kaelin kissed Evan goodbye and ran off with her sisters, Amy, Lindsay and Julie. As the girls headed off to shop and lunch, Brian and Justin took little BJ up to their room for a nap.

Two hours later Kaelin was sitting in the hotel restaurant with her sisters and mother. They were all talking at once about life and men and lovers. Kaelin listened closely to the conversations that filled the table and thought about the night before with Evan. Lindsay focused on her daughter's inattention and knew instantly that something was up.

"Kaelin, honey, whats on your mind?"

"What? Oh I'm sorry I was just thinking."

"About Evan?" Thea teased her.

"Of course about Evan, she was probably wondering about the wedding night and if she will know what to do," Willow answered for her.

"She should go ask dad," Sascha threw out.

Sara added, "or daddy."

"Girls, that's enough teasing your sister." Lindsay moved to sit next to Kaelin. "So is that what the problem is? Are you worried about the wedding night?"

"Sort of, I guess." Kaelin looked around the table, took a deep breath and continued. "I, uh, we, uh, we did it last night."

"WHAT!?! You had sex and you didn't tell me?" Thea gasped, shocked.

"Hey wait a minute, you fucked Evan without being married to him first? Oh my god she does have a bad girl side to her."

"Shut up, Sascha." Thea shot her sister a dirty look, "Go on, we want details."

Kaelin looked at all the faces watching and began the tale. "We had just arrived and were still on the high of actually having flown out here and were getting married. When he kissed me I knew I wanted to make love to him."

"NO you wanted to FUCK him," Sascha interrupted. Lindsay shot her a look only a mother can give and she shut up immediately. Kaelin continued.

"I thought about all of you, actually."

"You were in the middle of sex and thought about us?? That is kind of weird, Kaelin," Sara said. Amy put her arm around her partner and Kaelin watched with interest as they kissed.

"It wasn't weird at the time. I was scared and not sure what to do. I mean I had never ever done that before and didn't know what to expect. I thought about how each of you would handle the situation. I thought about how Sascha ran away and all that she did while she was gone. I thought about you and Amy, Sara and how you have a baby now and are in a committed relationship. I thought about you, mom and wondered if you ever wanted to know what it was like to be with a man."

Lindsay laughed at that one and all of the girls looked at her with interest. "Sorry, it's just that I never really thought about if you would ever want to know if I had ever been with a man. I mean I know all you've ever known is me with women, but there was a time when I wasn't ready to admit it to myself."

"So, you've been with men?" Willow asked curiously.

"One, I've been with one man. He was very special to me and I loved him a great deal."

"What happened to him?"

Lindsay looked at Kaelin and knew she had to tell her girls the truth, "He married Justin Taylor."

"You and DAD?!?"

"OH MY GOD!"

"You slept with Brian Kinney?"

"HOLY FUCK MOM."

"Wait a minute, dad slept with women?"

"Ok hang on a minute girls, first we were young and neither of us had come out to anyone. We had known each other for a few years and we just sort of fell into dating. Of course we felt pressure to have sex and funny thing is, neither of us really wanted to with the other. The first time was horrendous. I had never been with a man and he had never even thought about having sex with a woman. To this day I still don't know why the hell we even thought we could be straight."

"Was he as good as they all say?"

Sara shot Sascha a look that said 'shut up' but Lindsay just laughed in response. "Brian Kinney is a great lover, if you like men. He just wasn't what I wanted. Don't get me wrong, I love him dearly. He is one of my closest friends and I share children with him, but as for ever being in love with him, even I'm not that crazy. I've watched men fall all over themselves for him for years now and it hasn't been pretty. Brian never showed any interest in anyone beyond sex until Justin. The second I met him I knew that Brian was in trouble. I could see the love in his eyes, even when he wouldn't admit it. We all knew that Justin was special."

"You really had sex with dad?" Kaelin just sat in awe at the revelation.

"Yes I did, but it was a long long time ago."

"What's it like, mom?"

"What do you mean Sascha?"

"What's it like to have sex?"

"Wait a minute, why do you need to know what it's like to have sex? Didn't you get arrested for prostitution?"

"That doesn't mean I slept with anyone, Thea."

"How do you get arrested for being a hooker without fucking anyone?"

"They got me for solicitation, Sara, not prostitution. I only offered to sleep with him for money, I didn't actually do it."

"So, you're a virgin, Sascha?"

"Yep," Sascha looked down after answering Kaelin's question as if embarrassed.

"I thought I was the only one left of us who hadn't had sex yet," Kaelin added.

"Well we all knew you were a virgin, Kae," Thea said.

"Yeah, you're just a good girl," Willow laughed.

"Hey, I have a wild side too."

"Yeah, like sometimes you brush your teeth before breakfast instead of after." Everyone laughed at Willow, even Kaelin.

"I was fourteen my first time," Thea threw out. "And it was awful. Thank God it got better as the boys got older."

"How many have you fucked?" Sascha wanted to know.

Thea looked over at her mother and hesitated. Lindsay spoke up, "go ahead, spill it. I won't tell your fathers."

"Ummm 10. Is that a lot? I mean I have been doing it for four years now."

"Ten is alot, are you being safe? Do you use a condom every time?"

"Sometimes."

"ALL THE TIME THEA! NO excuses, you have to be safe."

"I'm on the pill, mom."

Julie spoke up at that, "Thea, there are more things out there besides pregnancy. There is Chlamydia, VD, AIDS, Herpes, and more. You HAVE to be safe, EVERYTIME."

"I guess I just never thought about it."

"You live with two gay men and you never thought about AIDS or STDs?" Sascha looked at her sister like she was an alien.

"Yeah, Thea, you have to be safe. Especially if you have multiple partners. AIDS is scary."

"I know that, Willow, its just sometimes they don't want to use a condom."

"You have to respect yourself enough to make them use a condom or don't sleep with them, Thea." Lindsay stepped back into the role of mother again. "If they won't use a condom then they have no respect for your safety or theirs and you shouldn't be sleeping with anyone who doesn't respect you."

"Here," Willow tossed her sister a box of Trojans.

They all laughed and Thea promised to be more safe from now on and that she would be tested as soon as they returned home. Kaelin turned her attention to Sara and Amy.

"So, what’s it like to be with a woman?"

"Mind blowing." Sara impulsively stated then thought about it before adding, "being with Amy is amazing. She knows just what I like, and what feels good."

"Sara is the one who is amazing. She is so gentle and makes sure that I feel good. That first time was the best, it was so soft and tender and I knew she loved me then."

"Is it true a woman knows how to pleasure a woman better than a man?"

"YES." Thea answered Kaelin's question and all eyes turned back to her once again.

"You've been with a woman?" Sara asked, astonished.

"Yes. Why is that so surprising?"

"So do you like sex with men better or with women?"

Thea thought about it before answering Kaelin's question. "I don't know, I mean it's different with each one. Men are more aggressive and want to get right to it. With women its slower, more intense."

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The next morning Kaelin prepared for her wedding with the help of her sisters and her mother. Julie and Amy helped as well and everything was going according to plan. Kaelin stepped into her dress just as Brian and Justin knocked on the door. Lindsay opened it and Kaelin turned to face her fathers.

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