I Want You to Know

Part 32

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Brian sat in the police station waiting to speak with his son. Lindsay sat next to him, nervously wringing her hands, a habit Brian always hated. When Carl led Gus into the visitation room, Brian stood, staring at his son. Gus sat down nervously across from his parents dreading what was about to come out. Brian was the first to speak.

"Gus, what the fuck are you doing?"

"It's not what you think dad. He deserved a lot more than he got. I should have killed the fucking bastard when I had the chance."

"Gus," Lindsay exclaimed, trying to figure out just who the young man sitting in front of her was.

"Mom, I'm not a kid, I knew what I was doing. He deserved it."

"Gus, violence never solves anything, and I don't care how much he deserved it" she argued. Brian paced the room, watching his son, and listening to what he was saying. He walked over to Lindsay and asked her to give him a moment alone with his son. After a small argument she left the room, looking back at her baby boy sitting there in handcuffs.

Once she was out of the room Brian sat down and looked at his son, "So care to tell me why he deserved it?"

"Dad, I was at the Big Q looking for something that might cheer Sara up and I turned to go down the aisle and heard him talking. He was bragging to some kid about how he had given this lesbian some cock a few days ago. He was going on and on about how she had begged him for it, how she sucked him off, I just lost my temper and jumped him. I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't let him keep spreading those lies about Sara. Dad she is in so much pain and he caused it."

"You did the right thing, Gus. Don't worry we'll get you out of here soon. If I have to mortgage the fucking house again I'll have you out of here."

"Dad the cops brought him in for questioning too."

"Thanks sonny boy. I'll send your mother back in on my way out."

Brian asked to speak with Larry Evans and was led to a visitation room just down the hall from Gus's. He sat waiting for the young man to show his face, his anger building as he waited. When the kid finally made an appearance Brian stood, waiting until he was seated before speaking.

"Hey there Larry," he said a little too calmly.

"Hi, you must be my attorney. Get me the fuck out of here. I didn't do shit to that lezbo, she begged me to fuck her. I just helped her out."

"Funny, that isn't her version of it. She says you shoved her into an alley and beat her up as you raped her."

"She's fucking lying. She's a lezbo man, she hadn't had any cock before and I just did her a favor showing her what she was missing. And that hot little piece of ass enjoyed every second of it. You  should have heard her begging me to fuck her harder."

Brian's anger grew as the kid kept talking and he was leaning across the table, face to face with the kid who had put his daughter in so much pain and held on tight to what little control he had left.

"Really? She begged you? Do you get off on begging? Let me tell you a few things about my daughter Mr. Evans, she is smart, and beautiful and you destroyed her. Now I have made it my purpose in life to destroy you. What my son did to you is nothing compared to what will happen if you continue to run your mouth about Sara in this manner. That is a promise, not a threat." Brian stopped with his hand on the door and turned back to face his daughter's rapist one last time. "And make sure that you tell all your friends about how it was a faggot who kicked the shit out of you."

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I left the jail, not quite sure where I was heading, but knowing I had to find peace with myself and with this situation. I called Justin, just because I needed to hear his voice, to know that he was still here. He always managed to stabilize me somehow.

"Hey baby, how's she doing?"

"Not good, Bri. She just sits there on her bed with Amy next to her and she doesn't speak and she won't eat. I don't know how to get through to her."

"We just have to give her time. She has to heal."

"That's just it Brian, she has to get through this. The doctor called today with her results."

"What did he say?"

"Her HIV test is negative, but she has to go back in six months, which we already knew."

"That's a start Sunshine."

"There's something else Brian."

"What?"

"I don't want to tell you on the phone, where are you?"

"Driving down Liberty Avenue, on my way home."

"How long until you get here?"

"Maybe twenty minutes."

"Okay, I'll talk to you then. I love you Brian."

"I love you too Sunshine."

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Brian pulled up in front of the house, scanning to see who's lights were on and he saw Amy standing at Sara's window. He waved to the young girl who had stood by his daughter through this trying time. He would be eternally grateful to her until the day he died. Pulling his coat closer to avoid the chill in the late September air , he ran for the kitchen door. Opening it he found Justin sitting at the table, two freshly poured cups of coffee and chocolate cake  waiting for him. Kissing his partner, he pulled off his coat hanging it on the hook next to the door and braced himself for what it was Justin was about to tell him.

"Brian, I need you to stay calm okay? Please don't do anything stupid when I tell you this."

"Too late, but we can discuss that later. Tell me what the doctor said."

"There's a good chance she could be pregnant. He doesn't want to tell her yet, he wants to give her the chance to pull out of this depression before asking her to take the test. But Brian, he thinks that it is more than a possibility based on what she told him. He wants her back in the office at the end of next week. In the meantime he wants her to see a therapist."

"Damn it, hasn't she gone through enough? How the fuck is she supposed to deal with a baby after all of this?"

He pushed back in his chair so fast it fell to the ground as he stood. Looking at Justin with tears in his eyes, he went upstairs to sit with his daughter. Opening the door, he smiled at Amy, and hugged the young girl close, trying to offer her some comfort.

"How has she been today?"

"About the same Mr. Kinney. I'm really worried about her, it seems like she's just slipping away."

"I know honey, we're going to work on that. I know she appreciates you being here for her. Thank you Amy. If you don't mind I'd like to spend some time alone with her now."

"Sure thing Mr. Kinney, can you tell her I'll be back tomorrow after school?"

"Will do."

I watched my daughter's girlfriend walk out the door before taking my space on the bed next to her. She stared blankly ahead, looking at nothing in particular and I wondered if she even knew I was in the room. I stroked her long blonde hair lovingly, talking to her about the things her sisters had been up to and filling her in on what was going on with the gang.

"Hey babydoll, how are ya today? Thought you'd like to hear about your sisters and your brother. I just got back from seeing Gus. He's in a lot of trouble right now. Seems he ran into the asshole who did this to you and beat the fuck out of him for you. Now they're both sitting down at the jail and Gus is waiting to see if he makes bail so he can come see you. He sends his love."

I watched her face for any expression that she was listening to what I was saying. Not getting any, I continued. "Thea got the lead in the school play. She will be playing Sandy in Grease. Willow just got her acceptance to Princeton in the mail yesterday. They accepted her early and offered her a full academic scholarship. Sascha, well what can I say about Sascha, she is in detention again today. Seems she can't keep her mouth shut in class. Unfortunately she is a lot like me. Oh and did you hear that Kaelin got an early acceptance to PIFA? She is so excited to be going to school where your mom and dad teach. Her artwork has been chosen to represent the school at the district art show. Of course Justin ran right out and bought her all new supplies."

I continued my chatter, hoping against hope for any sign that she was still in there somewhere. After another hour of no responses I begged her to please come back to us.

"Sara, babydoll, please don't shut yourself off. It doesn't work, all it does is make things harder for you.  I know honey, I've been there. It seems so easy to just cut off your emotions and not feel anything anymore, but it isn't. It's so much harder to find your way back. And sometimes you never do. Please babydoll. Please don't give up. Find your way back to us, we can work through this together. We all love you, Amy's been here everyday, she's worried about you. You did good there babydoll. She reminds me a lot of your father."

I was interrupted by Sascha who had come in to sit with her sister for awhile. I smiled sadly at the girl before me thinking about how different she was from her sister. Sascha was so much stronger, maybe if this had happened to her, we wouldn't be going through this at all right now. Shaking my head to clear those thoughts I looked at her, kissing her on the cheek and holding her a little too close for her comfort. I decided to leave her alone  with her sister.

I found Justin in bed and went to him, needing to feel loved tonight. He opened his arms to me as I went eagerly into his embrace. As he held me tight I listened to his heart beating and that soothed my tortured soul for the time being. No matter how bad things got, Justin was my salvation. I pulled back and stared deeply into his blue eyes before kissing him. I let him take the lead tonight, I needed to be loved. As his hands gently caressed me, I gave myself over the pleasure he provided, letting myself feel the happiness he gave so freely. I loved this man beyond all else, and tonight I allowed myself to be loved by him.

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