I Want You to Know
Part 23
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Lindsay began to stay with us every night now that the due date was getting closer. The doctor had warned us that there was a possibility she could deliver early. We spent most nights trying to come up with baby names and we finally settled on four that we could agree on. We kept our decisions to ourselves to wait for their arrivals before announcing their names.
Coming home from the gym one afternoon I found the whole gang there for a
baby shower. Justin and I spent the afternoon unwrapping gifts in fours.
Debbie gave the girls matching handmade dresses for their first Easter. Jennifer
gave us two double strollers and lots of Huggies.
Julie gave the babies each their own character from Winnie the Pooh. We agreed
we would wait until we knew the girls' personalities before divvying them
up. Emmett and Teddy gave us a combined gift along with separate ones as
well. The combined gifts were lots and lots of bottles. Emmett's gifts to
the girls were
Michael and Ben gave the babies several new outfits and their very own Rage
and JT action figures. Lindsay gave the girls each a silver spoon with their
names to be engraved later. The shower ran till dinner and we decided to
order pizza. Lindsay was beginning to look very tired and when she stood
to go lie down, her water broke.
"Um, Justin," she panted.
"What's wrong Linds?"
"My water just broke. It's time to go." We rushed to her, helping her on
with her jacket and shoes. Justin ran to get the car while I helped her waddle
down the front steps. Once loaded into the car I made Justin sit in the back
while I drove. We had prearranged with Dr. Greene that both Justin and I
would be in the delivery room with Lindsay. Things were progressing along
fine when the doctor came into to tell us that it was time to start pushing.
Four hours later our daughters were born. Lindsay was just settling back
to close her eyes when Doctor Greene made an announcement.
"Lindsay honey, are you up to doing this one more time?"
"What do you mean one more time?" I asked the doctor." All four are already
here."
"Well Brian it appears that one was hiding behind the others. So here we
go again."
Six minutes later our fifth daughter was born. Finally Lindsay was resting
and we went to show off our daughters. As the gang gathered around, we introduced
them. We held up each baby as we introduced them.
"We'd like you to meet Willow Justine, Sascha
Rian, Sara Melanie, Thea
Lindsay and the last Taylor-Kinney girl named by her mother,
Kaelin Sainaa. Girls
look around, this is your family."
The babies were met with oohs and
ahhs and were fawned over for hours. Lindsay got
some much needed rest and before we knew it, it was time to take our girls
home. I had managed to fix one more nursery to match the others and we took
our little angels home to their own rooms. After putting the girls down I
walked around our house thinking about how a few months ago it seemed so
empty and now it was filled to capacity.
I still couldn't believe I had six kids. Me, Brian Kinney,
with six children, five of them girls. What the fuck did I know about
girls? My whole life I spent as much time avoiding them as possible. The
only woman I have seen that close up naked is Lindsay
and I made sure the lights were off then. I had no idea how anyone thought
I could raise a girl, much less five of them. I was still pacing the house
when I heard a faint cry and went down the hall to the third door. Opening
it slowly, I stepped into the darkened room, and crept over to the crib.
I looked down into those blue eyes and knew I was in love. I checked out
the name card that Justin had attached to the bed ,
picking up Sascha and rocking her back and forth
until she stopped crying.
I was still having a hard time figuring out who was who so Justin had devised
a system of putting their names on their cribs, and painting each
girls toes a different color. I laughed at the idea
of painting their tiny little toes but right now I was grateful he had done
it, otherwise I would be standing here wondering who the fuck it was I was
holding.
Sascha gurgled at me and started to lightly cry
again. Luckily I had convinced Justin and Lindsay to let me put the small
refrigerator in each room so we could keep the bottles close by. I pulled
one out and put it into the warmer and paced the room with my daughter as
I waited for it to warm. Once warmed I sat down in the
rocking chair and fed her. She was the spitting image of her father
and I found myself falling under her spell. Even at three days old she had
picked up the trick of batting her little lashes at me. I could tell this
child was going to be trouble.
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Justin woke to find himself alone in bed, listening for sounds of Brian in
the bathroom or walking around downstairs. All he heard was silence. Listening
closer he heard the light snoring on one of the baby monitors and went to
investigate. After three tries he found his lover asleep in the rocking chair
with Sascha. Taking the baby from him, Justin put
her back in her crib and kissed her gently. He was startled when Brian
protested.
"Why'd you take her?"
"I thought you were sleeping, I was going to wake you to come to
bed."
"Sorry, I was just enjoying a quiet moment with my daughter. That still sounds
strange to my ears."
"Yeah I know, it's still hard for me to believe.
Come back to bed baby, you're going to be wishing for sleep before this day
is over," Justin held out his hand to
Brian.
Taking it, Brian smiled and kissed him on the lips softly, "Our first full
day with our girls. Think we're up to it?"
"I think we'll do ok."
"I love you Justin."
"I love you too dada," Justin waited for Brian at the door, smiling at
him.
"You go ahead I just want to stop in and check on the other girls. I'll be
right there I promise." Justin smiled at his partner and how much he already
loved their children. He sleepily walked back to the bedroom, knowing that
sleep was a precious commodity they would not be getting a lot of in the
coming weeks.
Brian checked on the girls, kissing each one of them lightly on the forehead
before going back to bed. He slid in next to Justin and pulled him close.
Reaching over he turned the stereo on softly and listened to the words of
the Bryan Adams song that came on. It said everything he was feeling at this
moment and he cried silently as he listened.
"I'll always be right there"
I swear to you - I will always be there for you
–
oh n' when i hold ya
- nothin' can compare
with all of my heart - ya know I'll always be -
right there
i believe in us - nothin'
else could ever mean so much
you're the one i trust our time has come - we're
not two people -
now - we are one - ya you're second to none
forever - we will be together - a FAMILY
the more i get to know you -
nothin' can compare
with all my heart - ya know I'll always be -right
there
forever - we will be
together - just you and me
the more I get to know ya - the more I really
care
with all of my heart - ya know I'll always be...
ya know I really love ya
- ya nothin' can
compare
for all of my life - ya know I'll always be - right
there
Justin lay silently next to his partner, his head resting comfortably on
Brian's chest, and listened to the words of the song. A smile played across
his face as he kissed his lover's chest.
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That familiar tightening began in my groin when
he kissed me. Justin always could make me hard at a moment's notice. I slid
him up my body until his covered mine and kissed him hard, crushing him to
me. His lips parted to allow my tongue entrance to the warm, moistness of
his mouth. I ran my hands down his back, softly kneading his muscles as they
went. I broke the kiss and nibbled on the special spot in the crook of his
neck that I knew made him hard. His breath hot on my skin sent my senses
into overload and I moaned his name. Rolling over so that he was beneath
me, I continued my assault on his neck as he threw his head back to give
me better access. My tongue ran down his neck to his nipples and I flicked
it across the tip of one, watching it harden beneath my touch. My hands slid
up his chest, his neck, past his lips to his hair, soft against my fingers.
I slid down the bed and took his dripping cock into my mouth, licking at
his balls, flicking my tongue over his slit. He arched his hips to press
closer to me and moaned my name over and over. It was enough to send me over
the edge and I had to calm myself down before I came without ever taking
off my sweats.
He ran his hands through my hair as I continued to suck him, his fingers
pulling at my hair as he got closer and closer to release. His moans kept
me going until he came hard, moaning that he loved me as he did. I slid back
up his body, licking him as I went. Positioning him so that his legs rested
over my shoulders I locked eyes with him as I pushed into his tight hole.
My hands caressing his face, his lips, in his hair pulling his head back
as I fucked him. I leaned down to kiss him, never losing eye contact, and
as his hole began to tighten around me I lost myself in him.
"Oh Justin! Justin I love you. I love you baby.
AH..Ummm.
Uhhhh.
Yeah, that's it, yeah baby. I love you so much baby."
My thrusts increasing, I nibbled on his lower lip as he clung to me in the
throws of his own orgasm and I came into him. Maneuvering so that I was still
inside of him, we slept.
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Justin awoke to the sounds of Gus talking to one of the babies, and gently
shook Brian awake so he could hear his son as well.
"Hi baby, I Gus, you brother. This my car, don't
touch it. This my bear, you can have it so you not
sleep all by yourself."
Brian and Justin both listened to Gus as he spoke to his sister and told
her all about their family. When the room fell silent, Justin got out of
bed and went to check on their children. He found Gus sleeping on the floor
of Kaelin's room, smiling,
he picked up the little boy, carrying him back to his room. He went back
into his bedroom and heard Brian in the shower. Looking at the clock he realized
he still had a half hour before the girls first feeding and stripped, joining
Brian in the shower.
After making love, Brian went downstairs to start the coffee, while Justin
finished dressing. He had just turned on the coffee maker and was looking
for something to munch on when the doorbell rang. He opened it to find a
young man asking for Brian Kinney. Acknowledging who he was, the young man
handed him a large envelope. After signing for the delivery, he went back
to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and sat at the breakfast bar to open
it.
Pouring out the contents, he found a letter addressed to him in his mother's
handwriting. Attached to it was a note from Claire explaining that she had
found it among Joan's things as she cleared out the
house. Brian tapped the envelope on the table several
times before opening it. He was still sitting in the same spot, tears streaming
down his face when Justin came downstairs, carrying
Sara.
"Brian, what's wrong?"
Brian handed him the letter and took Sara from him so he could read
it.
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Brian
This may be too little too late, but I had to say
my peace before I leave this earth. I know that you blame me for your childhood
and you have every right. I wish I could have given you the love you needed
and deserved, but your father would have used it to hurt you even more. There
is no excuse for what I've done to you. I'm sorry, I truly am.
I did love you, for what it's worth. I wish you could understand why I didn't
show it to you. Your father would have made things so much worse on you if
he knew how much you really meant to me. When you were just a little baby
I used to tell him I was going to my mother's so that I could take you to
the park and just hold you and tell you how much I loved you. As you got
older I couldn't risk you telling him so I had to stop.
I'm sorry that you had to grow up with such feelings of emptiness and despair.
I know it took a lot out of you, and I only hope that you have found your
happiness with Justin. He's a nice young man and seems to love you very much.
I wish you happiness in your life together, Brian. Nothing can make up for
what I did, but maybe Justin can help you heal and give you the love you
deserve.
I hope that one day you can forgive me for all the pain I caused you. I love
you my precious little boy.
Mom
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Justin went back up the stairs to look for Brian. He finally found his partner
sitting on a blanket on the floor surrounded by his children, reading them
Where the Wild Things Are. Putting his arms around the older man he settled
in to listen.
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