I Want You to Know

Part 18

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I sat eating my lasagna, amused at the way Jennifer Taylor was speaking to her son. I almost laughed out loud a few times and had to fill my mouth full of food to avoid causing a scene. Justin was looking at me as if he wanted me to jump in and save his cute little tight ass. Too bad for him; I agreed with his mother. The way they had gotten us here was devious and underhanded, shit, I admired them for that. It was only when she threatened to kick him out that I jumped in. Finishing the mouthful of food I had I looked over at her and then at Justin before speaking.

"Um, Jen I hate to be a ball breaker here, but just where is it you expect him to stay?"

"With you of course.  You are his husband after all."

"But Jen, I'm staying with a friend and I don't know how that friend would feel about me fucking the brat in the room across the hall."

"Why aren't you at the loft anymore?" Vic jumped in. I shot him a look that said 'shut the fuck up' and tried to avoid answering the question.

Justin cocked his head to the side and looked at me, "Yeah I been wondering that myself. Where the fuck are you living?"

"I haven't been at the loft since the night we broke up. It's too hard to be there. Besides I don't own it anymore."

"WHAT!?!" Justin looked a little more than pissed.

"I sold it last week. To some hetero bitch, a lawyer friend of Melanie's and she moves in tomorrow. It didn't feel like home anymore, not without you there. The bad memories far outweighed the good," I tried to explain without going into too much detail.

"Where have you been living all this time?"

"Don't go getting jealous on me, Sunshine. I've been staying with Cynthia. As for something more permanent I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet. I just know that until you come home, I have nothing to have a home for."

"But Brian you loved that loft," Justin was looking at me with a knowing look in his eyes, and I had to make sure he knew that it wasn't all his fault.

"Look Justin, it's just a loft; nothing special. Besides this gives me a chance to shop and you a chance to decorate."

"Brian, I never agreed I was coming back."

"You also didn't say no. That's a start." I turned and looked around the table and knew that with our family there Justin wouldn't lie to me so I asked the one question that had been haunting me for weeks, "Justin, do you still love me?"

He turned away from me and I had to wait for his answer. When he finally spoke I could see the tears in his eyes, "Of course I still love you. But I don't know if I want to go through this all again."

I pushed away from the table, having had enough of him busting my balls for most of the night, and went outside for a smoke. I had just lit the joint and taken a long drag when Jen came out to join me. Quickly trying to hide the joint behind my back, she caught my hand and laughed.

"I'm not as innocent as I look Brian," and with that she took a long hit.

Smiling at her I chuckled, "You inhaled and everything, I'm impressed."

"Just don't tell my son. Listen Brian, this is hard, and I know I should just stay out of it, but I love my son, and his husband. I don't know all the details, and I don't care to know them, but I do know that he loves you and you love him. I wish I could fix it for you, but I've never been in your shoes, I never had a love so powerful that when it ended the whole world mourned. You're both hurting now. You've both said things you regret, but you have to put that in the past and move forward."

"I'm trying Jen, I swear I'm trying. Ever since we got back from Thea's funeral, I've done everything I can to make him see how much he means to me."

"Brian, I don't know what happened there, I just know that when he came home he was a mess. It was like his heart was trying to heal and he wouldn't let it. Something happened there that could've changed this whole thing if he had stayed. My son is stubborn, he does things his way. You just have to be more stubborn then he is."

"Jennifer, what else can I do? I've begged him to forgive me, I've forgiven him for what he did. He won't even talk to me half the time, he constantly tells me it's over and nothing will change that. How do I make him see how sorry I am? How do I make him understand that he means more to me than anything? God knows, I've tried to talk to him, to make him listen, but he's so fucking stuck on hating me for what I said. I just don't know what else to do, Jen. Tell me how to make Justin realize that I'm not going to go away easily."

"I don't know how you can do it, all I know is that you have to find a way. You have to make Justin see how wrong he is about you. I love my son dearly, but right now I don't like him very much."

I stood there sharing the rest of the joint with my mother-in-law and for the first time in my life I felt like I had someone who loved me like a son. I kissed her softly on the cheek and walked to the jeep and drove away.

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Brian was sleeping soundly, dreaming of Justin when the phone ringing woke him. He glanced at the clock, it barely registered that it was four in the morning as he answered the phone.

"Yeah?" he asked groggily.

He heard the crying on the other end of the line and couldn't quite put his finger on the voice. "Brian...." Lindsay cried into the phone, "you need to come to the hospital."

"Lindsay? What's wrong? Is it Gus?"

"No honey, just get here ok."

"Linds, what happened?" Brian was dressing as he screamed the words at her.

She sobbed into the phone trying her best to catch her breath when Debbie took the phone from her and spoke to Brian. "Listen, honey, there was a shooting at the diner. Lindsay needs you here."

"OH MY GOD. Justin?" Brian was holding his breath as he waited for an answer. Debbie hated to lie to the man she loved like a son, but she knew that he needed to get here in one piece, she didn't need him falling apart now.

"Melanie was shot. Listen Brian, I need you to get over here and I need you to do it NOW. Don't waste any time." Debbie hung up the phone and turned to hold Lindsay as she cried. All they could do now was pray. She just hoped that Justin hung on until Brian got here.

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