I Want You to Know

Part 10

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"Hey baby, I miss you. I really need to hear your voice right now, where the fuck are you?" I said leaving a message on Justin's cell phone after not getting an answer at the loft. Where could he be? I tried to stop my mind from wandering and tried to convince myself that he was just out with Thea or at Lindsay's.

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The persistent knocking on the door awoke Justin from a deep sleep, reluctantly he got up to answer it.  Pulling open the door he stood face to face with Joshua, taking a deep breath and rolling his eyes he asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Thought I'd come by and keep you company, don't want you getting lonely while your boyfriend is out of town."

"Joshua, now is not a good time."

"Anytime is a good time to spend with you. So what are you up to?"

"Sleeping," Justin tried his best not to sound too unfeeling. Both men turned at the noise that came from the bedroom and Joshua's smile widened.

"So while the cats away the mice will play? Justin, I'm so proud of you."

"It's not what you think, Joshua," Justin tried to explain but he cut him off with a kiss.

"Hmmm maybe I came at just the right time, I have a habit of that. A threesome maybe?"

Joshua was pulling his shirt over his head when Thea came down the stairs, stopping him in his tracks. "Who's she? You're into little girls? Too kinky even for me."

Justin shot him a look that said more than words ever could. He moved to Thea to find out what had caused her to wake. "Thea honey, are you ok?"

"I'm fine, I heard you talking and thought you were talking to Brian." Nodding towards Joshua she asked, "Who's he?"

Joshua stuck his hand out and introduced himself, "I'm Joshua, Justin's friend. And who are you?"

"I'm Justin's best friend, his AND Brian's." She looked at Justin and back to Joshua before finishing her thoughts, "I don't like you, you're a bad man. Justin make him leave."

Justin smiled at Thea trying to hold back his laughter, "Come on honey, back to bed." Carrying her back upstairs he tucked her in promising to get rid of Joshua as soon as he got back downstairs. He was still upstairs when the phone rang and Joshua decided to answer it.

"Hello."

"Who the fuck is this?" Brian asked more than a little upset to hear a strange man answer his phone.

"Joshua, and this is?"

"Brian, what the fuck are you doing answering my phone and where the fuck is Justin?"

"He's upstairs, in bed I think, can I have him call you when he's available?" Joshua was enjoying this just a little too much for Brian's taste. He let his anger overwhelm him.

"PUT HIM ON THE FUCKING PHONE NOW!!!"

Joshua hung the phone up and waited for Justin to come downstairs. He didn't mention the phone call and Justin assumed that whoever it was left a message on the voicemail. After getting rid of his unwelcome guest, he decided to call Brian.

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I was still reeling from Joshua answering when I saw his number flash on my cell phone and answered it quickly.

"What?"

"Hey baby, I love you." If he thought this would get him off the hook, he was sadly mistaken. I remained silent, waiting for an explanation.

"Brian? Did you hear me?"

"BRIAN? ARE YOU OK? What's wrong? Don't shut me out, talk to me please." Justin sounded desperate and not knowing if it was his voice or just missing him so much, but I relented and spoke to him.

"Why don't you fill me in on what was going on when I called earlier," I demanded, hating how jealous I sounded but I needed to hear him say it.

"You called? When? I've been home all day, except for when Thea and I went to the store for chocolate milk."

"I called when your *friend* was there."

"What friend? No one's been over all day, oh wait, you called when Joshua was here? I'm going to kill that mother fucker. What did he say to you?" I could tell he was pissed, but that did nothing to help my mood; I was still angry at him and Joshua.

"He said you were up in bed and that he'd have you call me when you were available."

"Brian, I was upstairs with Thea, she woke up and had a few words with Joshua. I was tucking her in, I just assumed that whoever called left a message. Brian, honey, NOTHING HAPPENED. You believe me right?"

I didn't answer him, I just hung up the phone and poured myself another drink, ignoring the ringing phone.

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Justin stepped off the plane a day later and hailed a cab , giving the driver Brian's address. He wasn't sure exactly what he was going to say or even if Brian would listen but he had to try. He loved him more than anything and wasn't going to lose him again, not because of some snot nosed fucking kid. When the driver pulled up in front of the building Justin paid and jumped out grabbing the only bag he brought. He stood outside that building for a half hour before finally going in. Knocking on the door and getting no answer he sat down in the hall with his back against the wall to wait for his lover to come home.

Brian came home four hours later to find his lover asleep against his door and hesitated just a moment before waking him. Setting down his briefcase, he bent down to pick him up and carried him inside. Justin woke to find himself in Brian's arms and nuzzled against his neck, breathing in the scent of his lover. Brian dropped him on the couch and walked to the kitchen for a drink. He did not want to deal with this tonight, but now he had no choice. Coming back into the living room he looked at Justin sitting there and felt his heart swell with love.

"What are you doing here, Justin?"

"You wouldn't talk to me on the phone, so I came here to get this bullshit straight. I'm not going to let you destroy us because of some stupid asshole."

"I'm not in the mood for this. Go home Justin. There's nothing to talk about."

Brian turned to walk out of the room, Justin grabbed his arm and spun him around to face him. "I'm not going anywhere until we talk about this. I love you Brian."

Brian looked away and tried to hold himself together, "There's nothing to talk about."

"There's something very important to talk about, US. You and me. Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor. I love you and you love me and that just doesn't go away by not talking about it. Grow up Brian."

"Fuck you. I'm not doing this tonight, I'm not in the mood. Go home!"

"Haven't you figured it out yet, being an asshole to me never really got you anywhere. I love you and I KNOW you love me so sit the fuck down and listen," pushing Brian down into a chair he sat at his feet to keep him from getting up. "I love you Brian. You know in your heart that nothing happened with Joshua. He came over unannounced, I told him to get out, Thea told him he was a bad man, it was cute actually. She is a lot like you, she speaks her mind and doesn't give a fuck about who cares. It was sorta like living with a small female version of you."

Brian sighed deeply, just trying to get through this without crying.

"Damn you Brian, I love you. I don't want anyone else. I want you! Forever!. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, grow old with you, share a life with you. I don't know how else to convince you."

Justin sat staring at his lover, seeing the different emotions flash through his eyes, Brian's eyes were really the window to his soul. After several minutes, Justin took the silver band off his thumb and held it out to Brian.

"Brian, I bought this right after you left, it reminded me of us. How the bands are woven together, how you can't tell where one ends and the other begins. That's us. I love you, YOU. All your good qualities, like how you make sure those you care about are happy, you give up so much for your friends; and I love you despite your bad qualities, like how you shut down when something goes wrong. Please don't shut down on me now. I need you to believe me, most of all I need you to love me. Maybe this isn't the right time but damn you I love you and I want you forever."

Justin raised himself onto one knee and held out the band to his lover, "Brian, will you marry me?"

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Did he just ask me to marry him? I look down at him in shock, yep he's on his knee and he looks serious. Does he really expect me to answer him?

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm asking the man I love to marry me and I'm waiting for him to answer."

Laughingly I said, "You're not serious are you?"

"I'm as serious as a fucking heart attack. I love you and I want to marry you."

I thought for a moment and couldn't help but smile at him, at his crazy ways of getting me to do things I swore I would never do.

"Damn you, Sunshine, first you get me to believe in love now you get me to agree to get married, what are you on a mission from God or something?"

"What? Did you just say yes?"

"Yes Baby, Yes I'll marry you!" I yelled at the top of my lungs taking him in my arms, kissing him hard.

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