I Want You to Know
Part 1
Notes: Thank you to my beautiful beta Susan,
what would I do without you...Oh and to Luke thanks for helping me when I
was stuck....Misty this one is all your fault....
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The dance floor at
He wanted romance, he wanted love. I told him
time and time again that I could not give him that. Why did he need it so
bad? Why couldn't he just take what I offered and be happy? Didn't he see
I was willing to give him everything? Didn't he see how much of myself I
gave him? Didn't it matter to him at all that I loved
him?
I saunter to the bar and order a double Beam,
cruising the blonde leaning against the rail
of the catwalk, when he walks in. I feel like I'm in some crazy 1950s movie,
everything slows down as I watch him cross the room. Our eyes meet and our
gazes lock. He moves through the crowd as if he's drawn to me. I hold my
breath waiting for him to be near me, close enough to touch, to kiss. Its
only when he gets next to me that I realize he isn't alone. I turn away from
him, not able to stand the sight of him with another. I feel my lunch threaten
to revisit me and move away. Drink in hand I take my spot on the dance floor
between two very hot men and begin to all but fuck them there on the floor.
I want him to see, I want him to miss me, as much as I miss him. I want him
to forget all about that fiddle player, to come out here and place his claim
on me like he did that first night he came to
Why can't I just forget him? Why can't I just
move on? Why the hell do I need him so much? FUCK! I
gotta get out of here. I need to be as far away
from Justin as possible. I stumble towards the door in a drugged haze, as
I hit the street the cold air knocks me to my knees and I laugh uncontrollably
at myself and what I have become.
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"You can't just let him leave in that condition,
Justin."
"He's not my responsibility,
Michael."
"Yeah, he is, since you're the reason he's like
this. Get your ass out there and make sure he makes it home
alive."
"Fuck off. Brian is old enough to get home by
himself." Ethan grabs Justin's arm and starts to pull him away, but Justin
pulls back from him.
"Ethan, stay out of this. Michael's right I
can't just leave him out there alone. He wouldn't leave me like this. I'll
be home soon. Go on and have me a drink ready when I get
there."
Justin walks away without a glance back and
steps outside just in time to see Brian fall to his knees. Running to him
he helps him to his feet and heads for the jeep.
"Brian, where are your keys? BRIAN?
Damnit," he exclaims as he starts to dig in Brian's
pants pockets looking for his keys. He could feel Brian harden as his hand
brushed against his thigh and groin and he tried hard not to think of fucking
him tonight.
"HEY SUNSHINE, when did you get
here?"
"Brian, I'm taking you home, cooperate please."
Justin struggled to keep his balance with Brian leaning on him for support.
Just as they reached the jeep, his foot slipped on a patch of ice and they
both hit the pavement hard. Brian smiled down at him and laughed before kissing
him. Justin’s mind fought the kiss but his body responded with passion.
He could feel the heat spread through his body as Brian's lips and tongue
caressed his own. His body responded to every caress Brian offered, and
eventually his mind gave up the fight.
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Somehow I ended up on top of Justin, don't ask me how I managed
it. I just couldn't stop myself, I had to have him, had to kiss him.
Looking into those sparkling blue eyes, and his full luscious mouth, I couldn't
stop myself from kissing , it felt like home to
me. His body pressed against mine, his skin soft beneath my hands, longing
to touch him in ways only a lover knows. His moans only fueled the fire burning
deep inside of me. I ripped at his shirt in my haste to feel his skin next
to mine. Breaking the kiss to take a taunt brown nipple into my mouth, hearing
him whisper my name and I fell over the edge of my self-control and gave
into my desire to have him one last time.
When he didn't resist I pressed forward, boldly
unzipping his pants, my hand on his throbbing dick, already slick with
precum
. He fit perfectly, just as I remembered, better than I remembered.
I was lost in the feel of him when I felt him pull away. Cold settled in
to the places his warmth had been just moments before and it made me shiver.
Looking down at him, I could still see the desire in his eyes and raised
an eyebrow questioningly, waiting for him to tell me why he pulled
away.
As he stood he offered me his hand, and when
we touched the electricity was indescribable. "Not here." was all he said
as he helped me into the jeep and drove us home in silence. There was so
much I wanted to say to Justin, but I didn't want this magic to end. I just
wanted him for one more night and then I could live on that for the rest
of eternity, if I had to. Watching the various emotions cross his face as
he debated his decision of being here with me. I could see the fear play
across his features, followed by the love , love
I knew we both still shared.
He pulled up in front of my building and I knew
he was fighting the urge to turn and run; from what he knew was going to
happen if he stayed. Stepping out of the jeep, I slammed the door shut behind
me and walked ahead; giving him the chance to leave if he wanted. I felt
him press against me as I punched in the security code to open the door.
Both of us acted as if we were afraid to touch each other for fear we would
not make it to the loft in time. When I fumbled with the keys, Justin
impatiently took them from me and pulled the door open. He stepped inside
and I leaned against the door watching him in our home. He turned to look
at me and laughingly said, "Are you coming or going, or coming and then going,
or coming and then staying?"
"I fucked myself with that last one didn't I?"
I crossed the room, closing the distance between us until I was nose to nose
with him.
"You sure did, you gave me the chance to
stay."
"I'm glad you did."
"Brian, I miss you."
As we kissed Justin gave in to his own desire
and unbuttoned my pants, taking my cock into his fist and stroking it. Closing
my eyes and throwing my head back, a loud moan escaped before I picked him
up and raced up the stairs two at time. Entering the the bedroom, I
unceremoniously dropped him on the bed and quickly stepped out of my pants,
watching as Justin removed his. His dick was hard and I craved the taste
of him as he dripped precum. Taking the length
of him into my mouth, I licked and sucked my lover
til he came. Running my tongue over my lips, I
drank in every last drop of his salty sweet juices.
Justin pulled me to him, kissing me, running
his tongue over my lips to taste his own essence. As our kiss deepened and
I could feel the stirrings of another hard on for my blonde lover, I wanted
him like no other man I have ever wanted or needed. Rolling him over so that
he lay on top of me, I reached for the condom I always
keep near the bed. Ripping it
open with my teeth, rolling it over Justin's dick, I ignored the surprise
in his eyes. Rolling onto my stomach, I held my breath; waiting for him to
fill me with thickness. As he pushed into me, I gave myself over to the feelings
only he could give me. Thrusting deep inside me, I could no longer fight
the desire to tell him how I feel. "I want you to know....." I
moaned.
"Know what, Brian?" he asked
breathlessly.
Reaching the peaks of heaven, I whispered softly
to him, "I want you to know that I love you Justin. I love
you."
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