INTO THE LIGHT--NEVER FORGET

Into The LighT

Chapter 8

Never Forget

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MICHAEL'S POV


Did Boy Wonder say that Brian is positive? I can't have heard right. Brian is the most safe sex conscious person I know. He would never fuck without a condom. How did this happen? How do I help him deal with this? And will he let me help him? Shit what do I do now? He is going to shut himself off from everyone now. He is even going to try to push Justin away. Like Justin will stand for that. That kid is a pest. But this time that may be just what Brian needs. Someone who won’t let him push him away. I never thought I would hear myself say this but Justin may be just what Brian needs now. Did I just say that? Shit my mom is going to go overboard on this. She is going to push him too hard. I have to talk to her and tell her to let him deal with this on his own.


I went to Brian's to talk to him. "Brian, I know. Justin told us all. He didn't think you want to deal with it yet. Brian. Brian. Damn you talk to me. I am your best friend for 16 years now. I am here for you."

"Shut the fuck up Mikey. You dont fucking know anything I am feeling. Don’t you get it the indestructible Brian Kinney got beat at his own game. How the fuck am I suppose to deal with this?  I can't do this now Mikey. I can't have this. Fuck I don’t want to talk about this Mikey. Not with you not with Justin, Not with ANYONE. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! And help me pack Justin's shit so he can get the fuck out of here."


"Brian I am not going to help you kick Justin out. You need to think about what you are doing here.  You invited him to live here. He saved your life for fuck's sake." I can’t believe I am saying this. I have wanted this kid gone for so long and now I am telling him to let him stay. Have I lost my fucking mind?

"He can't stay Mikey. I don't want him here. If you like him so much now you take him. I am sure Ben would love a young stud in bed with him. Just shut up and help me get his shit packed so he can be gone tonight." I listen to what he is saying knowing that he is making a huge mistake. How do I make him see that?

"I am not helping you ruin your life Brian. Do it yourself."


I can’t believe I just left him standing there. I saw Justin on the way out and I didn't even smile at him. I was too pissed off. I just had to get out of there. I had to go somewhere where people were sane. I ended up at Ben's.


"Michael, what's wrong?" I looked at him for a moment before I answered. I knew Ben would understand. "Brian. Brian." I just couldn't say it. I felt the tears on my face. Ben took me into his arms and held me while I cried. "Brian is positive." I finally told him. I said it like it was the end of the world. How can this affect me like this? Uncle Vic and Ben are both positive and I have never been this scared. But this is Brian. Brian Kinney. My best friend since I was 14. Brian. The one I spent forever in love with. How can this happen to him. I wish I could take this from him. No matter what I have to make things right for him. As much as I have resisted the thought I know that he loves Justin. I can see it every time he looks at him. And there is no doubt Justin loves him. I have to make Brian see that he needs Justin now. More than he needs me. I can’t believe the pain I feel saying that.


I saw him three days later at the store. He stopped in to say Hi and to let me know that he was still  alive. I think he stopped in to let himself know he was still alive. I asked him if he had told his mother yet.


"Fuck no. Claire did that for me. She heard it from some dyke she works with and couldn't wait to tell mom. Fuck I was hoping she'd have a heart attack and die. But shit with my luck the old bat will outlive me. So Mikey I was thinking of going to
Babylon tonight. Want to come?" Before I could answer his cell phone rang. I could tell it was Lindsay by the way his face softened into a smile. He trusts her more than anyone. I heard him say something about dinner that night. He was arguing with her. I nodded at him and mouthed 'Gus misses his daddy.' I knew what Lindsay was up to and I knew Brian couldn't deny his sonny boy anything. I heard him agree then he kissed me on the cheek and left. I called Justin then. "Justin, Brian will be at Lindsay's tonight. You need to be there before 7p.m. I know I am the last person you thought you'd hear this from. But don't let him leave there without you. He needs you. I am worried about him. He is taking stupid chances trying to get himself killed. You are the only one who can save him."

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