Into The LighT
Chapter 1
A Beginning
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Justin lay in bed and just held onto Brian. He had noticed the cough a few weeks ago, but had hoped it was getting better. He knew that Brian would just tell him it was nothing and leave it alone. But he was really worried now. Brian moved and Justin knew he was going to be awake shortly. He had to make the decision whether to say anything about it. Brian stretched and rolled over to kiss Justin.
"Good morning Sunshine." he said to the young man he had grown to love over the last few years. It seemed like only yesterday that he had seen him outside Babylon. Brian sat up and started to cough again. Justin could not hold out any longer.
"Brian you really need to have that checked out. Please for me? If not for me then for Gus." he said. He knew that Brian would do anything for Gus. "I will call and make the appointment for you today. " He waited for Brian to start bitching at him.
He was shocked when Brian agreed. "Make the appointment and call and tell Cynthia the time. But not til after lunch I have to dazzle some new clients first."
"Fine Brian, I will make it and then I will pick you up and go with you. I want to make sure you go and not just tell me you did." Justin was pushing it now so he got up and went to take a shower.
Brian lay there for a moment listening to Justin getting the shower ready and thought about how tired he had really felt lately. He knew he needed to be checked out but he was still kind of afraid of what it would be. He thought back to how his father had died a few years back. Maybe he had cancer too. How would he deal with being sick. 'Fuck I dont have time to be sick' he thought to himself. 'Oh well no use worrying til I know for sure.'
He got out of bed and went to the bathroom. He watched Justin for a moment before opening the door and moving into the spray of water. He was dying to feel Justin in his arms. He moved silently towards the young man and pushed him against the glass of the shower. There was no foreplay this time. Brian wanted to fuck him. It was a primal urge and he was determined to have him. Reaching for a condom from the shelf, he put his leg between Justin's and pushed them apart. In doing so he had made room for the head of his dick to push into Justin's ass. He waited for Justin to catch his breath and then he moved into him. He pushed his dick fully into Justin then. Justin turned his head and kissed the man behind him. Neither spoke they just gave themselves over to the sensations of the other's body and the heat of the water. As Brian thrust into Justin he felt his heart pounding against Justin's back and knew that soon they would both give into the urge to fall over the edge and cum. He loved to make Justin cum. Reaching around he took Justin's dick into his hand and smearing the precum across the head he moved his hand slowly at first over his shaft. He wanted to make sure that Justin was as close as he was. Slowly, he moved back to the head. He repeated this until he felt Justin start to quiver. He sped up his thrusting and then they both were cumming. It never failed to amaze Brian how hard Justin made him cum. He had fucked many men in his life but no one made him cum this hard. He knew he loved Justin. He also knew Justin loved him. Yet neither of them had ever told the other. They stood there for along time just catching their breath.
Justin noticed how flushed Brian was and was more worried now. He knew that Brian was not taking care of himself like he should. He really hoped Brian would keep his word and go to the doctor today. Brian looked at Justin and smiled. As he stood there things started to get blurry and then Justin began to spin before his eyes. Reaching out he grabbed onto the glass of the shower and fell through.
"BRIAN BRIAN OH MY GOD BRIAN HOLD ON.. Justin grabbed for him and could not hold him up. He watched helplessly as Brian fell through the glass to the floor. Justin was next to him in a flash. He reached out and held onto him. "Brian I am going to call 911. Hang on baby. I'll be right back. "He ran down the stairs and grabbed the phone. He frantically dialed and started to scream "Help me. God please send someone now. He fell through the glass. He is losing a lot of blood."He gave the dispatcher the address and she tried to calm him down. He was sitting on the floor next to Brian when the rescue workers arrived. As they were loading him onto the stretcher he hurriedly put on his clothes and followed them to the ambulence. He asked them if he could use his cellphone and they told him they could.
Justin dialed Michael first. "Hello?' Michael answered. "Michael, It is Justin. Brian has been in an accident. Can you meet us at the hospital? He said and hung up not waiting for an answer.
He dialed his mom next. As soon as Jennifer picked up the phone she heard Justin crying and the siren. "JUSTIN are you ok. Oh god what happened."
"Mom it is Brian he fell through the shower door." he choked out between sobs. "Justin honey I am on my way. I will be there by the time you get there. Hold on baby."
Justin sat back and waited. He had not let go of Brian's hand even when the paramedic told him to. Man that siren is loud. Is this what Brian heard and felt that night. How did he not go nuts. I don't know if I can take much more of this. 'Please dont take him away from me. I swear I will do anything if you just let him be ok. God please please let him be ok.' he prayed for the first time since he was little. He knew that no matter what Brian had to be ok.
A few hours later he was sitting in the waiting room with his mom and Michael when Debbie came running in. "How is he, Sunshine? Michael what happened?" she was asking all at once.
"Ma, we dont know yet they haven't told us anything. They won't tell us til his family gets here." Michael told her as he guided her to a chair.
"We are his family. " Justin said to no one in particular. Just then Melanie came into the waiting room with the doctor. She explained to him that Brian had drawn up legal documents that gave Justin power of attorney and listed him as his emergency contact. Justin had legal rights to be told all concerning Brian.
Justin was surprised and looked to Melanie "When did he do that and why?" he asked her.
"Justin sweety I will explain it all to you later. Right now we need to find out how Brian is ok."
The doctor told them that Brian had lost a lot of blood and they were giving him transfusions and that based on what Justin had told them when he was brought in they were running tests to find out what happened to make him collapse. They were sending a plastic surgeon in to look at his face and body for scars in the morning. He also informed them that Brian had not yet woken up but that they could see him one at a time for five minutes each. Justin was the first to go in.
Brian looked so pale lying there. Justin made his way slowly to sit next to his bed. He took Brian's hand in his and just sat there for just a minute. He leaned in an kissed his hand. "Brian, baby it's Justin. I'm here. God baby you scared the hell out of me. Why didn't you tell me you were so sick? Baby you have to come back to me. We will find out what is going on and we will get through it together. No matter what I will always be here. We will face this together. Just come back to me ok." Justin sat there until Michael walked in. He smiled a half smile at him and left the room to give Michael a moment alone with Brian.
Justin walked back down the hall and looked at all the family Brian had. All family of his choosing. He was worried about Brian. He knew the life that Brian led and knew all that it entailed. That is what scared him the most.
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For three days Brian had been unconsious. Justin never left his side. Even when Deb threatened him he did not leave. How could he? He loved this man more than himself. They were still waiting for the test results to come back. He was anxious to know what had caused this. He was more scared of not knowing than knowing. He was sketching Brian laying there when he noticed his eyes start to open. "Brian? Brian?" Brian opened his eyes and saw Justin's beautiful face. He thought back to the last time he saw that face. He flashed back to the shower and fucking Justin.
"Wh..wh...Where am I? and why the fuck do I have on this tacky gown?" he looked to Justin for the answer. "Brian oh thank god you are awake. You had me so worried. How is your head? Do you feel ok? " Justin asked at once.
"Slow down and tell me what the fuck is going on now." Justin told Brian all that had happened that day. He also told him about the tests and that the doctor should have the results later in the day. Brian did not seem interested in the results. He told Justin he wanted to go home. He did not want to know what was wrong. Brian was trying to get out of the bed when the doctor walked in.
"Ah Mr. Kinney. I see you are finally awake. I am Dr. Lavery. I have the results of all the tests we ran and I would like to go over them with you and discuss where we should go from here." He turned to Justin "Mr. Taylor if you could give us a minute please."
Brian told the doctor "No he stays. Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of him. We have no secrets."
Dr. Lavery took a moment before continuing. "Mr. Kinney your cat scans came back fine. As did all your x-rays. However your blood work has me concerned." He looked at Brian to make sure he wanted him to continue with the young man in the room. Brian nodded and he continued. "It appears you have the HIV virus, Mr. Kinney. It does not appear to be in an advanced stage yet. So there are options to consider. We will get you started on the medication immediately. But you may want to let your partners know so they can be tested as well. If you have any questions I will be here all day and I will give Mr. Taylor my card with my home number on it as well."
Brian looked shocked and turned to Justin. Justin was instantly next to Brian holding him. He held Brian for hours it seemed. He could not let him go. He knew Brian needed him now more than ever. As he spent the night in Brian's hospital bed his only thought was that he hoped Brian would let him help. He prayed that Brian would not slip into the darkness that once enveloped him.