When the Bough Breaks

Chapter 9

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Two years Prior to Gus being found

Brian sat at his desk and stared at the picture of his son, wondering for the millionth time where he was. He knew deep in his heart that Gus was alive and someday he'd find him and bring him home.

He thought about the times they'd spent together and regretted that he hadn't been a better father. A lot of people thought it was Brian's fault that Gus was gone and he agreed. If only he'd paid closer attention, or hadn't turned his back, or hell, hadn't even taken the boy to the park that day, Gus would be home, safe and sound.

But as always Brian had fucked up and Gus was gone. He thought about the call from Joan when she'd heard and began to wonder if she was right. Maybe God was punishing him for being gay and bringing a child into that life.

She'd been so hurtful and he could still hear her words.

"This is all your fault Brian. If you weren't living such a disgusting lifestyle God wouldn't have taken Gus away. God knows that what you're doing is wrong and he's punishing you, Brian. Don't turn your back on him now. Change your life and your son will come home."

"Fuck you, Joan. This has nothing to do with me being gay. It has to do with some fucked up person taking my son. Your grandson, Mom. Your grandson is missing, he may be dead for all we know, and all you can think about is how disgusting my lifestyle is. FUCK YOU."

Brian had slammed the phone down unwilling to admit to his mother that he'd been thinking exactly what she'd said to him.

Leaving the office without a word to Cynthia or Ted, he headed for the park and found a bench overlooking the duck pond. He'd spent countless hours there with Gus and Justin, and he felt closer to his son there than anywhere else.

He thought about the last time they'd all been there and how Gus had insisted on sharing the potato salad with the baby ducks. Brian had laughed at his boys feeding soft little chicks gooey globs off a plastic spoon.

Gus had insisted that they loved it and his enthusiasm was infectious. Before he knew it Brian had joined both Gus and Justin in their quest to expose the babies to Debbie's famous potato salad.

He let his tears flow unchecked and for the first time in a long time prayed to a God he wasn't even sure he believed in.

"God, if you're really there, please don't use Gus to get back at me for all the wrong I've done. He's an innocent little boy and he's scared and wants his mommy. Please bring him home. Not for me, or Lindsay, but for him. He's just a little boy. He needs to be home where he's safe. Please let my son be okay."

Brian let the sobs consume him unaware that Justin's arms were around him. He'd finally let his emotions control his behavior and for Justin it was just the opening he'd needed.

Justin allowed his partner this time to cry without interference. He just held onto him and promised him over and over that no matter what they'd find Gus.

Justin had known exactly where to look when Cynthia called to tell him that Brian had left the office after a call from his mother. He'd dropped his paintbrush and ran for the car. He'd found Brian crying and talking to God and knew that his partner was losing hope of ever finding Gus.

After several minutes Brian wiped his eyes and looked up at Justin with emptiness and desperation in his eyes.

"She's right. It's all my fault."

"Joan Kinney has never been right about anything in her fucked up life, Bri. It's not your fault. You love Gus and everyone knows you'd do anything for that little boy. You just have to have faith that he'll come home safe."

"Faith? Joan has enough faith for all of us. Only her faith is that God is punishing me and Lindsay for believing that us Godless fags should be allowed to have a child. According to my mother, Gus is better off with the sicko that has him."

"Gus is a very lucky little boy, because he knows his mommy and daddy love him. You're not being punished and neither is Gus. We're going to find him. I promise you, Bri, we're going to find our little boy.

Brian allowed Justin to lead him to the car and take him home. He spent the remainder of the day in bed, and awoke the next morning with a new determination to find his son.

TBC…

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