A lazy Saturday afternoon. Justin is over in the corner doing some homework from work. It's for a project we've been trying to finish. He has his headphones on while he's working so I know he's oblivious to the world. Me, I'm sitting here racking my brain trying to come up with a new ad slogan for baby wipes.

It's not so easy being a boss. Justin and I have had KT Advertising for about a year. We're equal partners in this. I wouldn't have it any other way. Justin runs the art division and I handle the account side. People think hitting a curve ball is hard. Try meeting a payroll every week. Hell it almost makes me want to vote Republican. We started out alone but it's already grown to about 10 people. The smartest addition I made was my executive assistant Cynthia. When she came in for the interview I knew from her attitude she wasn't a "yes" man. I hired her on the spot and it's been the best thing I did. She won't take any shit from me and isn't afraid to go toe to toe if she thinks she's right and I'm wrong. She pisses me off sometimes but I don't know what I would have done without her. You know if I was straight I might have had to marry that women

But for now, instead of thinking of baby wipes, I start daydreaming about Justin's bubble but and what I did to it this morning. But a pounding on my front door soon interrupted my daydream. A pounding that was quickly followed by the voice of my six-year-old son Gus yelling, "Daddy, you home?"

"Hey sonny boy." I tell him as I grab him off the floor and hold him tight. Looking at his mom Lindsay I ask, "What's the occasion?"

"We were in the neighborhood and he kept asking if we could stop and see his dads."

"So you missed your old man huh sonny boy."

A shy yeah was all I got in response. I put my son down and noticed another six-year-old standing next to Lindsay. She saw me notice him and explained "Brian, this is Gus's friend Dylan. The three of us were going to spend the afternoon together."

"Hi Dylan." I say as I bend down to get to his level. "I'm Gus's dad Brian."

We were shaking hands when Gus asked, "Where's Daddy Justi?"

"He's over in the corner working." I tell him. But before I can add don't disturb him he grabs Dylan and they go after him like two lions stalking their prey. Next thing I hear is a surprised Justin being tackled by two sugared up six year olds.

Leaving Justin to his fate, I turn my attention to Lindsay. "It was nice of you to stop by."

"You know how insistent and stubborn Gus can be," she explains.

"You insinuating Gus takes after me?"

"Hey Brian if the shoe fits…" We both start laughing. I always love verbal dueling with Lindsay.

"So who's Dylan?" I inquirer.

"He's just a friend from down the street. They've been spending a lot of time together."

"So my sonny boy has finally got a boyfriend. I was starting to get worried."

"Brian", she says in mock disgust, "he's only six."

"Yeah but he's a Kinney. He's got a reputation to uphold."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

Before we can continue we hear a small cry of help. We look over and see Justin pinned to the ground by two six year olds celebrating their triumph. "Come on Justin", I yell, "You can wrestle better then that. You proved that this morning in the shower." That comment earned me a hit in the arm from Lindsay. I turn and give her my what did I do this time look.

Lindsay, saving Justin from his fate, calls out to the boys. "Lets go guys we still have to stop for lunch and see Grandma Deb." We gather up the brood and walk them down to Lindsay's SUV. We pile them in amongst a bunch of hugs and kisses for both Justin and I. Finally we manage to load the kids and Lindsay pulls away.

"Brian, do you ever think about having kids again?"

"Why, I got two already, you and Gus." That earns me a slap on the ass.

"You know what I mean. You and I being parents." He gives me that look that says I'm going to lose this argument so I should just give in now.

"First I'm not sure what kind of parent I could be full time and two we're not munchers so we don't have the equipment."

"We could adopt."

"Justin they would never give a infant to a gay couple."

"I'm thinking about a older child, someone around Gus's age. Could you think of anything better then getting a kid out of that system and giving him a home"

"Something tells me you've been thinking about this for awhile."

"A little." He smiles sheepishly.

"You're talking about major changes. We'd have to buy a house. We could never raise a kid in the loft. It's too small."

"Will you at least think about it?"

"Ok I'll talk to Mel on Monday and see what she knows about family law.

"YES!" And that earns a huge kiss and hug. Something tells me we're not going to get much work done the rest of the afternoon.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So Brian who'd you get in trouble fucking this time." Mel asks with a smile as I poke my head into her office.

"I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. And call my lawyer." I say returning the smile. Things have gotten better between the two of us. Maybe it was the bike. Justin and I used the Harley for a while. We loved roaring shirtless down Liberty Avenue and scaring the natives. But neither one of us were really motorcycle people so Melanie, the ex-motorcycle mama, eventually got custody of it. Lindsay didn't talk to me for a month. Mel took it as the peace offering it was intended and mellowed a little. Now, when she's mad, she usually just threatens to cut off one of my balls and leave the other for next time. "I'm here to ask about family law, specifically gay adoption in Pennsylvania."

"About time. I was wondering when Justin was going to talk to you about it."

"He's been here?"

"Yeah a couple of months ago. Got the forms right here. Should take about six months to complete the process." Mel reaches into her desk and pulls out a thick envelope and drops it in my lap. Why am I the only one who doesn't know what's going on?

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Justin and I filled everything out that night. We had Melanie go over everything the next day and when it looked good we dropped it off at social services.

Over the next few weeks we let everyone in on the plans. Molly was thrilled about being an aunt for real. Even though Gus always called her Auntie Molly. Jennifer wasn't to thrilled about being a Grandma. The first is always the hardest. But she loved Justin and came around really fast. Debbie was just Debbie. Loved the idea of Grandma Deb and started planning the poor guy's future. The future Uncles, Mike, Ben, Ted and Auntie Emmett, were all surprised and happy for us. Lindsay and Melanie were happy for us to. I made sure they understood that they were going to be his moms just like we were Gus's dads. I wouldn't have it any other way. And Gus. When we told him he was getting a brother, his reaction was summed up in one word. "Cool."

We cleared the background checks and all the interviews went good. Being a father already kind of helped I think. The only problem was Justin's head injury. They asked for a report from a neurologist. Justin went and got a clean bill of health. So that cleared the next to last hurdle. Now it came time to go house hunting.

That's where Jennifer helped. She listed the loft and we gave the requirements we needed for a house. A large master bedroom and bath and four other bedrooms, one for Gus and one for our new addition, one for an office and one for a studio for Justin. And hopefully near enough to Lindsay and Melanie so the kids can go back and forth.

A month later she hit the jackpot. It was a huge home about 3 blocks from the girls. It was an older home but the floor plan was perfect. As we looked everything over we knew we'd have to rip a lot of the place out and modernize it. It had a huge master bedroom suite but the bathroom needed some work. The shower was way to small but it did have a tub. The kid's bedrooms were perfect. One of the other bedrooms was a corner and got the afternoon sun. It was a perfect studio for Justin. The last one became the office by default. The backyard was huge with this old tree that was perfect for climbing. The biggest selling point to me was the fireplace. Pictured my baby on a bearskin rug and doing… Well you get the picture.

"Well?" I asked turning to Justin.

"I love it." He answered with a big grin on his face

"So do I." I turned to Jennifer. "We'll take it."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

We took it but we couldn't move in till the construction people were done. Bringing everything up to our specs turned out to be a major project. Justin got his dream kitchen. And I know I'm going to have to work out twice as hard because of it. Closet space, with a major label queen and one in training, took on a priority to. I got my huge shower and Justin got his Olympic size bathtub. Christ, I think he could do laps in it. And I loved the huge grin I got from him when he saw on the plans the wiring for the blue lights over the bed.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

We bought mostly new stuff for the house but we did either have to transfer or dispose of the lofts contents for the new owner, a 25-year-old gay guy who was a budding business executive. Can you say déjà vu all over again? Deciding what to take caused the only friction between us during the whole move

"We are not taking that bed!" Justin yells at me.

"Why not? It's a perfectly good bed."

"I'm not living with the ghosts of every guy you ever fucked on it anymore."

"Yeah but the last one was you."

"Brian, burn it."

"Burn it? Hell I should have it bronzed and sent to the Smithsonian or better yet to the Vatican. I bet the words "Oh God" has been used on it more then in some churches. Including a few times this morning, Sunshine, if I remember correctly."

"This house is a new start for us. Leave it."

"This is important to you isn't it." His look said everything. It's not worth fighting him on this. "Ok we'll pick a new one out tomorrow.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was our last night in the loft. We didn't get much sleep. We curled up most of the night and really talked for the first time in a long time. Talked about the night Gus was born and when we met under that yellow streetlight. Our lives before we met. All the hurts we've caused each other and all fun we had making up.

It was then I finally took the opportunity and really opened up to him about my past. My drunken father. My mother. Chris, the first guy I ever had a crush on. Tell him about being too much of a coward to act on my feelings to Chris. How I read his obituary one morning and realized what might have been if I only had showed some guts. You and Debbie had showed up later that same morning with that birthday cake. And how I realized then someone was giving me another chance at life. Remembering when I tried to kill myself. How Mike healed me without even knowing it. How my bastard dad wouldn't even buy me a glove and spikes when I made the team. Debbie had to do it.

Tell him about your high school slut of Liberty Avenue phase. How Vic tried to take you under his wing and showed you what it meant to be gay. Lying at college about who you were by day to your teammates. Then fucking some of the same teammates at night. How you kept lying when you made the pros. You tell him about John, your roommate in college. You talk about how you kept coming to each other's beds night after night. And never said a word to each other about it. How you loved him. And when you finally did try and talk about it he tells you it never happened and you imagined it all. It was then you vow that no one was ever going to get close enough to hurt you like that again. How over the years you started trying to kill the pain with the booze and the drugs and the tricks. How it worked for a while. Then how the whole cycle started again. And how two men, a baby and a twink, came into your life on the same night and showed you how to love again.

You cry. You really really cry for the first time in years. 35 years worth of a belly full of poison comes all out in one night. And all he does is hold you tight and tells you how much he loves you and to let it go. Let it go so tomorrow the two of you can begin life again.

Morning comes. We have one final nostalgic fuck in the shower. Then we get dressed and put the last of our stuff in the jeeps. We go upstairs and stand in the doorway of the loft for one last time. It looks so barren and empty. "I became a man here," Justin whispers.

You take his hand and tell him "We both did." Justin smiles. You slam the door and lock it. Then you put your arm around his shoulders and turn to leave. "Now lets go make some new memories."

We christened the house that night in front of the fireplace. We had a roaring fire going and this huge thick rug in front of it. I looked down on him. Those blue eyes I could fall into, his pale skin glowing by firelight. I never loved him more. God it's nice to know I can still keep up with him. We made love there and slept there in each other's arms that first night. I never felt more loved or wanted in my life. It was a ridiculously romantic moment. And I loved every minute of it.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Two months later Ryan came into our lives. The social worker told us about him. He was 9 months younger then Gus and was abandoned at birth. Spent his life bouncing through the system. His social skills were pretty bad and was painfully shy around strangers. He never had a chance. But it only took Justin about 5 minutes and you would have thought they had been buds for life. Even the social worker was amazed. Looks like he picked us.

The following week we brought Ryan home. We showed him around the house and showed him his room and Gus's room. We had hoped to give him a chance to settle in but soon there was a pounding on the front door. Justin went down to answer and all I heard was "Where's my new brother?" and what sounded like a tornado flying up the stairs. "Hi I'm Gus. You want to go play in my room." The two of them took off and the next thing I heard was the sound of fun and laughter filling the house. Life is good.

Over the next few weeks Ryan had a chance to meet everyone. Deb and Jennifer got a little territorial about who was going to be the grandma. But they soon figured out there was room enough for both of them. Mikey got a new best friend when Ryan found out about him owning a string of comic book shops. Gus and Auntie Emmett introduced him to the Wizard of Oz for the first time. How do you get to be six years old and not see the Wizard of Oz? Mel and Lindsay were great. He became a second son to them. Hell, he and Gus are over there just as much as they were over here. They've become inseparable. Gus is pretty protective of his "little" brother. Even my mother paid a visit. What did come as a surprise was when I realized that I had been replaced as Justin's favorite model. His studio is filling up with paintings and sketches of Ryan. But I don't mind. That artwork is going to be a priceless gift someday when Ryan grows up.

One Monday evening Ryan and I were curled up on the couch together watching football. It was a real father and son moment. Ryan is a big Steelers fan and they were on. It's funny, he's been through all my memorabilia but he's just not much of a baseball fan. Justin was curled up in his favorite easy chair writing a letter. I can see he's having trouble with it. There's a pile of paper around the chair from all the starts he's made. He won't tell me who he's writing but I think I know. I did the same thing. Went to my father's grave and told him the faggot had made him a grandfather again. I just hope Justin doesn't get hurt again.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Craig Taylor sat down to go through his morning mail. One letter caught his eye. No return address and a Pittsburgh postmark. I'll read it but I wish he would stop writing. As you rip open the letter two photographs fall out. One photo is of Justin, Brian and a child. The other is of Jennifer, your ex wife, and the same child.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Dear Dad,

I know you don't give a shit about me but I just want you to know that you're a grandpa. Brian and I adopted Ryan a couple of months ago He's six and the greatest joy in our lives. Took mom a while to get used to it but I think she's really beginning to like the idea of being a grandma. I know Molly loves being an aunt. Dad, for the sake of Ryan I'm extending an olive branch. You may hate Brian and me but you can't hate your grandson. You're the only grandfather he'll have since Brian's father is dead. He has the right to know you. All I ask is you just keep a civil tongue about us around him. Don't take it out on him because you dislike us.

Justin

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A grandfather? Me? After everything I did my son still can write something like this. Ok, you decide, I'll meet him half way. You pick up the phone and call your business partner. "Yeah John, I need a couple of days off. I need to head back to Pittsburgh… No it's not an emergency. Just found out I'm a grandfather."

You knock on the door of their home. It's Brian who answers. "Yes" He doesn't recognize you. It's been a lot of years.

"Brian, I'm Craig Taylor" You see a black hatred come over his face. The papa bear is going to protect his cubs.

"You got a lot of fucking nerve showing your face here"

"I was invited." You tell him as you hand him the letter your son wrote. Brian reads it but not quite believing what he's reading. "Brian, if you agree we'll call a cease fire,"

"Why should I trust you?" Brian glares.

"No reason other then I'm asking you to." You see the indecision on Brian's face. But someone else makes up his mind. You hear Justin's voice yell out and ask who's at the door. Brian tells him to come and see for himself. Seeing Justin approach you see how much he's become a man. He's not your 17-year-old son anymore. He stares at you for a second and then says one word. "Dad?"

Everyone walks on eggshells for an hour trying their best not to set each other off, everyone that is except Ryan. Once they tell him who you are, you're instantly accepted by him like only a child can do.

When it's time to leave Justin walks you out to the car. "Dad." "Justin." You both try to talk at the same time. You manage to talk first. "Justin, I don't know if I'll ever to be able to accept the choices you made. But from what I saw I do know that you'll be a better father then I ever was."

Justin and his dad just stare at each other for a moment not knowing what else to say. "I've got to get going. Have to go see your sister. I'm not going to lose her too." Justin watches his father get into the car and drive away. Unknown to each other they have the same identical thoughts in their minds.

"Well, it's a start."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Authors note: Dylan is my great nephew. He'd be about the right age to be Gus's friend. Thanks for making your uncle feel really old Linda. But at least it gave me the chance to tease my younger sister about being a Grandma. Chris and John are also real people from my past.