"Where's Dad?" Your son Justin asks you as you're sitting on his hospital bed.

"He's… having his problems." How do you tell your son his own father wants to disown him?

"About being gay?"

"That's part of it. It was hard on him learning about it in the paper."

"It was in the papers?" he asks with a shocked look on his face.

"After the prom you were pretty famous for a while." You've got to change the subject. "You know they're talking about releasing you next week."

"It's about time."

"It wouldn't be home. It would be to a rehabilitation institute, in-patient for a while then out patient."

"Any place has got to be better then here." Your son looks at his hand. " Think I'll ever draw again?"

"All you can do is try, honey."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"He asked about you again today." You've been waiting for your husband Craig to come home. You're in your living room, with a drink and the lights turned down low. Your husband won't even acknowledge you. "You won't even answer me will you?"

"What do you want me to say?" He says angrily.

"He's your son. Give a damn."

"The son I know isn't gay."

"News flash big guy. He always has been. He was just afraid to tell us and now I know why. We failed him. You feel proud now. Your own son was afraid to talk to you. "

"Did he say something to you?"

"No I went to him. I saw how miserable he was when he broke up with his boyfriend."

"He had a boyfriend? How could you let that happen?"

"What do you mean how could I let that happen? How dare you?" Now you're really getting angry with your husband. "Let me tell you something mister. That "boyfriend", as you call him, has been there everyday. He dropped everything for Justin. He rushed across country to be with your son. He spent every possible minute he could with him. That's more then I can say for you. He's more a man then you'll ever be."

"Jennifer…"

"Don't you dare come upstairs tonight. Oh and by the way I think you know your future son in law. His name's Brian Kinney and he plays second for your beloved Pirates." The last thing you see is the shocked look on your husband's face as you go upstairs to bed. What the hell happened to him? That's not the man I married.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Hey baby."

"Hey Bri. How'd you do tonight?"

"We won."

"I asked how'd you do?"

"Single but I scored a run."

"Cool."

"How are you doing?"

"Ok, I guess. Wish Mom and Debbie would stop hovering over me."

"They just care."

"I know, but I wish I could get some privacy. I'm so damn horny. Jerking off just doesn't cut it anymore. You spoiled me."

"Now I know you're feeling better. You just get well. I'll see what I can do about your little problem when I get back."

"They're talking about releasing me next week. It will be to some rehabilitation institute but it's out of this damn hospital.

"Great. Listen, I got to go. Remember I'll be back Friday."

"Love ya."

"I love you to. Later."

Looks like things are finally getting back to normal you think as you hang up. Justin's going to be ok. Well mostly ok. He's still having problems with his right side. But it's getting better. And that light in his eyes is a little dimmer. That will just take time you guess. This hotel room is so empty. You miss him. You reach out to the pillow and imagine him next to you. I'm really beginning to hate road trips. You try and see him every morning. And when you're on the road you call him every day. Just like you promised. So the doctors are talking about releasing him. That's good. He's one step closer to home. But where's home? The loft? His mother's? You remind yourself you're going to have to talk to Jennifer.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

First day of a 10 game home stand and some genius scheduled a Friday day game. You're letting your mind wander. Come on Brian get your head out of your ass and into the game. You got a man on first with one out. Let's think about getting a double play and get out of the inning. Here it comes, ground ball to deep short. Get over to the bag and get the throw, wheel to throw to first and… THAT SON OF BITCH IS GOING FOR MY KNEES. Throws away and here comes the collision.

POP…SHIT that was my right knee. You're on the ground grabbing your knee. That bastard did that on purpose. Damn this hurts. Here comes the trainer.

"Brian?"

"I heard a pop."

"Easy guy I'm here. Let me take a look." He tries to straighten your leg.

"Damn it that hurts." You get out through a clenched jaw.

"Ok Brian, You're done for the day."

Your teammates carry you off the field. As you pass near the pitcher you tell him. "That SOB did that on purpose. First chance you get stick it in his ear."

"You got it, Brian."

It's an ambulance ride to the hospital and the team orthopedic doctor meets you and the trainer in emergency. It's the same hospital Justin is in. After a quick exam the team doctor gives you the "good" news.

"You're staying overnight, Brian. We'll get an MRI tomorrow morning and figure out just what got damaged. Hopefully bed rest will take care of it and we won't have to cut."

You hate to tell him you don't get much rest in bed. In fact you've gotten your best cardio work outs in bed. "Any more good news?"

"Nope. We'll know more tomorrow. For now we'll put a brace on it and we'll have an admitting nurse get your info. I'll see you tomorrow."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Hey roomie." You say as the orderly wheels you into Justin's room. Jennifer, Debbie and Justin are speechless until they see the brace on your leg.

"Brian what happened?"

"Brian, what's going on?"

"Is it serious?"

"Ok one at a time. There was a collision at second and I twisted my knee. It's not series. They just want to do some tests tomorrow. Now about the room. I knew Justin was here so I asked if they could put me in here for a day or two. He's had enough of you women hovering around. Now it's time for some butch stuff. So lets get some beer, order a pizza and watch some sports."

Debbie and Jennifer don't look so happy but that shit-eating grin on Justin's face is all the approval you need.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Thank God they're gone." You lay back and breathe a sigh of relief. "I see what you mean about them hovering. Since I'm not too mobile why don't you come over here."

"You sure?"

"Justin, get over here." You see the hesitance in him but he comes over and the two of you just cuddle together for awhile.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, just feels a little weird."

"Yeah, this isn't the most romantic place we ever did it." You kiss his forehead and try to draw him in closer. He starts fighting you and sits up.

"I can't Brian. I just can't." He gets back up and goes back to his own bed.

"Justin?"

"It's not you. Just give me some time ok."

"Ok. Good night."

"Night."

You watch him curl up with his back facing you and try to sleep. You turn out the light and try to sleep yourself. Justin's got everyone fooled into believing he's ok. But now you know different. I'll have to talk to someone tomorrow.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"No, no, no, no…"

What the hell? Justin's yelling in his sleep. You look at the clock and see it's 2 in the morning. You slowly get up and hobble over to Justin's bed and sit down. "Justin wake-up. It's Brian. You're having a nightmare. Wake-up." He wakes up suddenly with a look of shear terror on his face. "It's me, Brian. You're safe. It's only a nightmare, you're safe." He slowly calms down. "That's not the first time is it?"

"No."

"You haven't told anyone you're having them, have you?"

"No." he says softly, a bit ashamed.

"You say something tomorrow. Ok? That's what the doctors are here for, to help you. Promise?"

"Yes."

"You ok now?"

"Yeah."

"Should I ring the nurse to get you something so you can sleep?"

"No, just hold me awhile. Please."

Justin scoots over and makes room for you. You lie down next to him and hold him. You both say good night again and then you whisper his three favorite words. "I love you." You feel the tension leave his body and he starts to fall back to sleep. He's worse then you thought. God I hope someone can help him.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Brian how could you?" someone yelled.

You're suddenly woken out of a sound sleep. You look and see it's Jennifer doing the yelling. You've been asleep in Justin's bed when she came in. "Jennifer it's not what you think." You yell as the door closes behind her as she leaves. Way to go Kinney, screwed up again. You get up and hobble to the door and look and see Jennifer half way down the hall. "Jennifer please stop. I can't chase after you." She slowly stops, turns back and looks at you. "Please?" You ask and she starts walking back

"First chance you get. How could you?"

"It's not what you think. He had a nightmare. Woke me up. I just held him till he fell back to sleep. Looks like I fell asleep to." She doesn't believe you. "You didn't know he's having nightmares every night did you?"

"No."

"Well he is and he barely let me touch him. That's not normal. "

"But he's doing ok."

"Physically maybe."

"What do I do?"

"You tell the doctors. The help he needs you and I can't give him." The more you've been looking at her the more you realize something else is going on. "There's more here then just you finding me like that isn't it."

"Craig moved out this morning. We've been having our problems but ignoring Justin was the last straw."

"Shit."

"How do I tell him? He'll blame himself."

You put your hand on her shoulder. "You tell him the truth." An orderly has wheeled a wheel chair up to the room and looks in. "You looking for Brian Kinney?"

"Yep. That you?"

"Yeah." You sit down in the chair. "Jennifer, don't hide anything. If you do it will be worse later." You tell her as the orderly starts to wheel you away.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Your dad and I talked last night. You know we've been having our problems."

"And?"

"He moved out this morning. "

"It's my fault isn't it?"

"No it's not. I told you, your dad and I have been having problems. I think it would have happened sooner or later." You take his hand. "We'll get through this. Promise."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A couple of days later you both got some good news. Your knee wasn't as bad as they first thought. Six weeks rest with rehab and it will be as good as new. Then they told Justin they were going to transfer him to that rehab institute. You have a brilliant idea and talk to Jennifer and Justin's doctors.

"We're both going to rehab together so why don't you let him live with me. He can do everything out- patient and it will get him back in a normal environment. He's had enough hospitals. Give him a chance to get his life back." Neither Jennifer nor the doctor looked to happy but with a little more work they finally agreed it could be for the best.

Tomorrow Justin and I are going home. Our home.