It's just a light practice the day before game 7 of the World Series. Your best friend Ken, who plays shortstop to your second base, and you are just playing catch in the outfield. "So Brian," Ken asks, "who's the new guy?" You send the ball sailing over his head.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Brian, we've played together for Pittsburgh for 5 years. We're the best middle infielders in the National League. And we're friends. We've all seen the guys you've screwed on the road over the years. Everyone knows and we don't care. Hell, we elected you team captain. But we've all seen the changes over the last year. No more guys on the road. Your average shot up 40 points this year. And you're calmer then I've ever seen you. So I'm asking again, who's the guy?"

"Now you bring this up. We're playing game 7 tomorrow and you bring this up NOW." Ken just stands there waiting for you to answer. "His name's Justin."

"Good, now we're getting somewhere. How'd you two meet?"

"Liberty Avenue. It was about two years ago."

"TWO YEARS AGO! And you never said anything. Fuck you Brian, I thought we were friends."

"I was afraid."

"Well now you know you don't have to be."

"Yeah. Thanks."

"So what does he do?"

"He's studying to be a artist at PIFA. He's 19."

19. Jesus Brian and I thought Moose liked them young."

"It just happened. I tried to drive him away but he wouldn't take no for an answer. Then one day I realized just how important he was to me."

"You love him?'

"Yes."

"Does he know that?"

"Yeah, but I don't say it often enough."

"Been to any games?"

"A few. That's the cool part. He wasn't a groupie. He's not a sports fan. He didn't know who I was till much later. Says now he just watches Baseball Tonight to catch the score and see if I made the highlights. But we don't talk sports much."

"Coming tomorrow?"

"I hope so. Got tickets for him and 2 other people."

"Should put him in the wives section."

You start laughing. "I don't think baseballs ready for that yet."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Later that night Justin and I were curled up in bed talking. "Brian, you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes. I've thought a lot about this. I know I've never made a secret of being gay in the community but most of the outside world doesn't know. It's time to come out. I need to be a roll model for that kid on his high school team who thinks he's the only gay guy out there."

Justin rolls on top of you and pins your arms to the bed. "What did you do with Brian Kinney? I want my Brian back."

"Justin this isn't a joke. You have to be ready to."

"What do I have to do with it?"

"I don't want to do this alone. I need us to do this together. But you have to be 100% sure."

Am I 100% sure that I want you to tell the world I'm your boyfriend? Where have you been for the last 2 years? HELL YES. But what about your career?"

"Justin, it's the last year of my contract with the Pirates. If they want to sign me again, fine. If not, fuck em. I've put away enough and Ted's made some good investments. We can live comfortably for the rest of our lives. Maybe I'll finally use that marketing degree I got in college. I've got tickets for you, Mike and Deb."

"Never been to a World Series game."

"It's game seven. If we win it's going to be special. In more ways then one"

"Ok I'll be there. But it's just for you."

"That's all I can ask."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"C'mon one more out and we got it. " You're standing near second and praying that the ball isn't hit to you. You're to damn nervous.

Crack. Shit. Popup right at me. Focus Kinney focus. It's all yours. "I"VE GOT IT." Track it with your eyes. Just take a couple of steps to the right. Pop. You look in the glove. There's the ball. YEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!!! WORLD CHAMPIONS!!!!!!! Everyone is running to the mound. You jump on the pile with everyone else. World champs. I still can't believe it. You're hugging your teammates. But there's one last thing you have to do. Clutching the ball you head for the dugout roof and jump on it. The fans all want to grab you. But you're scanning the crowd. You know where their seats were. Yes, there's Justin.

"Justin c'mon down." You yell, waving your arm. He's hesitating. "NOW."

He looks at Deb not knowing what to do. You see her tell him go. Justin starts working his way down through the crowd. He final makes it and you hold out your hand and pull him into a hug.on top of the dugout. You see the reporters and cameramen out of the corner of you eye.

"Hey, here's a picture you'll love. This is my boyfriend. The faggot just won the World Series. And the faggots are going to celebrate." With that you dip Justin backwards and in front of 38,365 people and a national TV audience you give Justin the most romantic kiss you ever gave him and come out to the world

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was a rough off-season. We had the normal public stuff from the championship. Plus I had all the fallout from coming out. Even Justin got chased for a while by reporters but that finally died down. I still can't believe I was on Larry King. But my favorite thing was the cover of the Advocate. It showed a front view of me in my uniform with a bat on my shoulder. The caption said "World Champion, Out and Proud." Justin even framed it and hung it in the loft. I don't think he's even been prouder of me.

Got a ton of fan mail to in the off-season. A lot was addressed to both Justin and I. The ones from the gay kids who played sports we singled out and gave personnel answers to. Justin and I even had a picture made up of the 2 of us that we personally autographed that we sent to everyone of those kids. Did it have an impact? You be the judge. Not one of those pictures has ever ended up being auctioned on Ebay.

The Pirates offered me a 5-year deal with a big raise. I countered with a 3-year deal and told them I wanted to retire after that. By then Justin will have graduated and the two of us will be able to settle down together. I know how much the long absences from traveling hurts our relationship. He won't say it's a problem but I know. I can hear it in his voice ever night I call him from the road. Maybe we can go into advertising together. He'll illustrate and I'll write the copy. What a team we would be.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I hadn't been this nervous about spring training since I was a rookie. Ken knew I was nervous and took care of it. After our first practice I hit the showers. As soon as I enter everyone dropped their soaps at once and they all just stared at me. Lasted about five seconds before someone cracked up. I knew then everything was going to be all right with my teammates. But I'm still going to have to kill Ken one day for that joke.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Opening day. Things had been positive down in Florida but who knew for sure what would happen in Pittsburgh. Justin was there. Saw him sitting in the wives section. They all love him. I think they were all planning to adopt him. Even that giant parrot picks on him once in a while. Went over to the stands and talked to him during batting practice while I signed some autographs for the kids. Kept telling me everything was going to be ok and not be nervous. Told him I wasn't but he saw right through that in a second.

The funny thing was that one kid looked at Justin and asked, "Are you the guy from the World Series?"

Justin kind of looked at him funny and said "Yes.'

"Can I have your autograph to?"

I hadn't laughed that hard in years. From that point on we both had to sign every program for every kid. But there was one guy I'll never forget. He must have been around 16. He wanted to tell me thanks for what I did. He said he was gay and he had reached a point where he just couldn't lie and play for his high school team anymore. But after what I did he knew that he could stop the lying and still play.

"What's your name son?"

"Brian.'

Brian, you just made all the crap I went through mean something. I should be thanking you." I signed his program and I also wrote the lofts phone number on it. "You ever need anything or need just to talk you call me. If I'm not there the machine or Justin will pick-up." I said pointing to Justin. "Or just call once in a while and let me know how your career's going." I made him promise and as he walked away, I told Justin that it was guys like him I came out for. I finally think, for the first time Justin understood why I did what I did.

I knew that we would know how things would go during the opening introductions. The Manager went out first, and then Ken went next because he would lead off. Then it was my turn.

"Batting second, the second baseman Brian Kinney." came over the public address system.

Jogged out to home plate where I turned and all I saw was everyone on their feet and recieved the loudest ovation I ever heard. I couldn't believe it. I was stunned. Ken saw I was about to fold and put his arm around me to help hold me up. He turned me around and pointed to two banners in the bleachers. One just said "So What." And the other was "San Fran eat your heart out. He's ours." Took off my hat and waved to the crowd but that just made them louder. I looked at Justin in the crowd, made eye contact and waved to him. I couldn't have done it with out him.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next three years passed so fast. Justin came to as many games as he could. He said this was going to be a special time in my life and he wanted to share it with me. We never did get back to the World Series. Justin graduated and got a job as a commercial artist. In October of my last season, during the last game of the year, they had Brian Kinney Day at PNC Park. We reunited the championship team. Deb, Mike, Vic, Emmett, Ted, Lindsay, Mel and Gus were all on the field with me. After all the speeches the Pirates said they got me a special retirement gift and everyone was told to look to center field. In comes this huge Harley tearing around the stadium. And Justin's driving, looking like a reject extra from an Easy Rider movie.

"Hey stranger, going anywhere special?"

"Not with you driving." I said, trying not to laugh.

"Well I promise to take it slow so I won't scare you, grandpa."

"Ok" I said finally laughing and got on the back. We took a slow tour around the stadium to a huge ovation.

Justin sat with me in the dugout for the game. Went 2-4. And soon came the 9th inning. We were ahead big so there wasn't much of a possibility of a bottom of the ninth. Jogged out to my position and realized no one else came on the field with me. They were all standing by the dugout applauding.. The electronic scoreboard just said, "Thanks for 10 wonderful years." Did I really touch that many people? Eventually my teammates came out and we got our 3 outs and that was that. Game over. Justin met me half way to the dugout and we walked slowly, arm in arm, off the field. But just before we got to the dugout I saw this little kid sitting in the front row. Must have been about Gus's age. I walked over and gave him my hat. I just made a baseball fan for life.

After I changed Justin and I went back on the field one last time. It was dark and everyone was gone. We walked over to second and I think for the first time Justin realized what I faced everyday when he looked at the stands. We didn't say much but we both soon realized it was time to leave.

"C'mon old man let's do it one more time." He said as he started climbing on to the roof of the dugout. I followed him up and we just stood in each others arms hugging as close as was humanly possible.

"I love you Justin."

"I love you to Brian."