Welcome Home

Dick had been at the training camp out in the Rockies for three weeks and it had been great. It had been better than great, in fact; it had been fantastic. He had gone beyond just keeping up with the other men there, the national champions, the world and Olympic medallists. He had managed to show them a few tricks they hadn't even thought of before and he'd been flat out told he'd be asked back to show them some more. His grandfather would have been proud and he was pretty damn happy about how the whole thing had turned out. The guys he'd met had been nice and there hadn't been any of the garbage that he'd been worried about. They had accepted him with no problems and they had all ended up having fun while they were working. There had even been talk about him going to some of the big competitions later this year, the America Cup and the nationals and maybe more.

But now he was home and God it was good to be back. He had called Garth this morning from the plane as they were crossing over the Mississippi, and they had agreed that they would meet back at their apartment later, probably about dinnertime.

Garth himself had just gotten back three days earlier from a bunch of meetings with Arthur and the Council back at the Palace. That always made Dick smile…all their lives his parents had wanted to play the Palace. Anyway. He was back, they were both back and so why not just go over to the UN and surprise his lover?

Yeah, great idea. He'd do it; he could already picture the look on Garth's face when he walked through the door. This was going to be good. He fingered his ring as he leaned forward and asked the driver to take him to the UN.

Walking in through the front lobby of the main building with a duffle full of smelly workout clothes, he suddenly wasn't sure if they would let him up. Well, OK, ask, you nit.

"Yes, sir, may I help you?"

"I'd like to see the Atlantean Ambassador, but I don't have an appointment. If you could call up there, I think that they'll let me through. My name is Richard Grayson."

Five minutes later he was stepping off the elevator on the23rd floor and walking through the doors into the Atlantean Mission's reception area. He'd been right; as soon as the receptionist heard his name and he'd shown some ID, he was okay'd.

Ann was coming out to greet him as he was putting down his bag. Garth's assistant was a good one, knew about the two of them, was completely cool about it-and totally discrete. He put his arms around her, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Does he know that I'm here?"

"He's downstairs with the French Ambassador but they should be finishing up in a couple of minutes. Besides, wouldn't you rather tell him yourself? Why don't you just go back to his office and when he walks in, you could surprise him? Sound good?"

"Sounds like a plan to me." He knew that he was smiling and thought that he probably looked like a jerk and right at that instant, couldn't have cared less. Shit, they hadn't seen each other in three weeks and he'd scored some major points out in Colorado, it was a nice day outside and he was about to see Garth. Oh, yeah, a good day.

He closed the door of Garth's office behind him, dropped his bag on the floor and sat at the big desk, covered now in the countless briefing papers and treaties in progress that filled Garth's days. Sitting beside the flat screen he saw the double picture frame.

He stared at it for a couple of minutes, holding the leather case in his hands. They were both pictures of him; one Garth had taken when he was sitting on the beach that time they had gone to Greece for a week or so. In the snap he was laughing at something that Garth had just said and right after he had taken the picture they had stripped off, gone underwater and made love while a couple of dolphins had watched, seemingly getting off on it. The other picture was of the two of them, sitting on the stone wall around the outdoor pool at the manor. They had gone there for a cook out; it had been a hot day and they had both taken their shirts off and were sitting down next to each other while they waited for the food. It was just a few days after they had told the Titans they were together and everyone had decided that it was reason enough for a party. That had been another good day.

Jeez. Since he had been with Garth, he seemed to have had a lot of really good days. OK, there had been a few that hadn't been prizewinners, but they were sure in the minority.

God, he loved Garth.

He looked up when he heard the door opening.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself." They were already embracing, arms around one another, mouths together. "I thought that you were going to meet me back home."

"You complaining? I wanted to surprise you."

Garth pulled back after another kiss. "No, not complaining, I just have work to do. I have an appointment in about three minutes." Another kiss. "But it's a good surprise."

"Cancel your appointment?"

"Can't." Damn, he was in Ambassador mode. There would be no getting around him.

There was a knock at the door, Ann opened and walked in. She smiled an apology at them. "I'm sorry, but the British Ambassador is here, sir." They moved apart, Garth nodding at her in acknowledgement.

"Give me a minute then show him in, please." He looked a little off balance and Dick chalked it up to the surprise; Garth usually hated surprises. "Robbie, I'm sorry. I...have to meet with him."

Dick was having a hard time hiding his disappointment, but he was trying. "Should I wait or will you be a while?"

Garth seemed uncomfortable. "I think it would be better if I met you later, all right? I'll see you at home about seven." He kissed Dick again, gave his cheek a somewhat perfunctory stroke with his fingertips and turned to let him out the door only to be met by the British Ambassador approaching from the reception area.

Assuming his formal mask, he shook hands with Dick, "Thank you for coming by. We'll discuss this in more detail later, if that would be acceptable to you."

Dick played along. "Yes, that would be fine and thank you for taking the time to see me, sir." He was dismissed, Garth had tuned to the gray haired man now standing before them.

He was just what you would expect the British Ambassador to look like. He was tall, slender, distinguished and holding a wrapped present which he handed off to Ann. "Your Highness, may I be among the first to offer you my heartfelt congratulations. Victoria and I couldn't have been more pleased when we heard the announcement. All good luck to you two. Her Majesty and the Duke have asked that you accept this as a small token of their very best wishes and affection to you both."

"Thank you Geoffrey, that's very kind of you all. Please come where we can talk in private."

What the Hell was this guy talking about? Garth had already turned his back to Dick and was going back into his own office. OK, Ambassador's got presents every time they crossed the street, so did princes, but this was…The shoe dropped.

Oh, shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Around seven that evening Dick heard Garth's key in the door. Coming in, he carefully placed his briefcase on the hall table and looked across to where Dick was sitting on the couch.

"Rob…I was going to tell you tonight.'

"Fuck you."

He sighed and walked over to the recliner, sitting but not pushing it back. "You know that I had to do this."

"You couldn't even tell me. You let me think that you were just going home for some damned meetings. You friggin snuck off…"

"I was going to tell you when you got back. I was afraid that if you knew you wouldn't go to Colorado."

"You were just manipulating me to get me out of the way. Christ, all that crap you handed me about how I should go, what a good time I'd have..."

"I did think that you'd enjoy yourself out west. I didn't want to ruin that for you."

"And you enjoyed yourself too, I gather."

"…No, I didn't."

Restless, Dick stood up, looked at Garth for a moment, "You couldn't even be fucking honest." He went into the kitchen, only to come back out immediately. "What did you think I'd do if you'd told me before? Chain you to the bed? Walk out?"

"I thought that we'd argue and that you would be hurt. Robbie, I had to do this."

"Liz and Phil give you two kids a nice wedding present?"

"Not really."

"Garth just-fuck you." He went into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Twenty minutes of deathly silence followed. Finally Dick heard the bedroom door open as Garth quietly came in, obviously uncomfortable and hesitant. "Do you mind? I need a shower."

His answer was a glare and a tight headshake.

Walking into the bathroom, for the first time either of them could remember, Garth closed the door before he stripped. A moment later Dick heard the water start and wondered if it would be better if he just left the room. Maybe he could go out to get some dinner or something. In the end, he just stayed where he had been sitting cross-legged on the bed. Ten minutes later Garth emerged, his hair wet and wearing a loose pair of chinos and an oversized tee. The design on the front was from the Met exhibit that Garth had conceived and organized, "Treasures from Atlantis", old now, and faded after about fifty washings, it was still a favorite. They had joked about the real Atlantean treasures more than once. Nothing provocative there, that was for sure, oh yeah.

He sat on the edge of their bed, as far from Dick as he could get. "Can we at least talk about this?"

Dick stared out the window, too angry and hurt to meet his eyes. "This is just like Kory, another fucking political marriage that doesn't matter. Except I get screwed."

Garth's voice, his soft voice, "No, it's not like it was with her. I have no need, no desire to attempt any kind of a real marriage with this woman-I'm married to you, and she knows that."

Dick exhaled, closed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. "Garth, that's crap."

"Dick, Rob-please understand this."

"Yeah, I understand just fine. You've already gone over it, remember? You need to produce an heir to ensure the succession. She was chosen to smooth over some political problems with her city at home and the marriage is all for show. Did I miss anything?"

"That I love you. That you are my soul mate. That I don't want her any more than she wants me." He reached over to take Dick's hand where it lay on the covers. It was pulled away before he could touch it.

"Did you leave her pregnant? Wasn't that part of the deal?"

"…Yes, she's pregnant and, yes, it's mine."

Dick didn't answer, just made a sound of exasperation.

"Do you want me to leave? I will, if that's what you want."

"How could you not even tell me?"

Knowing that he was without an answer that Dick would accept, Garth stood and walked out of the room, leaving his lover sitting alone on the bed.

The evening passed in strained silence. Garth tried to get some work done but realized that he was reading the same paragraphs three and four times before he could begin to know what they were saying. Dick spent the time just sitting on the bed, unmoving, staring into his own thoughts.

Finally, around one in the morning, with neither one having made another attempt to speak, Garth turned out the living room lights and went into the darkened bedroom. Dick was already under the covers, pretending that he was asleep. His breathing wasn't regular enough for that, and Garth knew that he wasn't any more likely to drift off than he was himself.

Leaving on his underwear, Garth climbed in, careful not to touch. Rolling on his side, back to Dick, he also pretended to sleep. After a half hour of this he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Do you want me to leave tomorrow? I will. If that's what you want."

"Garth-I don't know. I-fuck, just do what you want."

"This doesn't mean anymore than a contract or another treaty. I wish that you could see that." He rolled over onto his other side, facing Dick but still making no contact. "Rob, I love you. I still love you and want us to be together."

"Garth, just don't. Okay? Just stop talking."

They spent the rest of the night pretending to sleep.

The next morning Dick actually woke up alone, surprised that he had managed to finally drift off. He got up, showered and got ready for work without Garth. The note on the counter just said, "I had to get to work early. Please call me. G". He crumpled it and tossed it into the trash. That day he volunteered for a second shift when someone called in sick and took some ribbing for it. "Hey, Grayson, you just get back and you're already pulling doubles, you're gonna catch shit for that, man." He just smiled and walked back out to the patrol car.

After the second shift ended at two in the morning he thought about crashing on one of the cots in the back but decided against it. He then thought that he could just check into a hotel for the night but decided that he'd be damned if he'd be out of his home because of Garth. Twenty minutes later he turned the key in his own front door and walked in. One light had been left on in the kitchen so he could see and there was a wrapped sandwich on the counter along with a beer in a bowl of somewhat melted ice. The bedroom door was closed and no light shone under it.

The sight annoyed him. He knew what Garth wanted and he knew that Garth thought that he simply didn't understand what the marriage meant in real day-to-day terms. He understood that it was just a political alliance and that it wasn't personal. He got the fact that it was arranged and that he and the girl were virtual strangers and that their feelings, or lack of feelings for one another, were of no importance. Okay, he knew that. He got it. He did.

But Garth had lied to him.

He had lied through omission. He had done everything that he could think of to convince Dick that he should go to Colorado while he went home. He had known ahead of time what would happen when he got to Atlantis and he had kept it to himself.

He had gotten fucking married.

He had gotten the woman pregnant.

An announcement had obviously been made through the diplomatic channels before Dick had even been told.

Goddamnit.

God damn him.

Garth had never lied before. In all the years that they had known one another, he had never lied. It wasn't in him. Dick had counted on the fact that he was always honest. He always told the truth. It was one of the reasons that he was such a good ambassador and negotiator. He played it straight. He may not have always put all of his cards right out on the table, but you could take whatever he said to the bank.

His honesty was his stock in trade.

Until now.

The bedroom door opened. "I thought that I heard you. Please. Can we talk now?"

Hell, they'd have to sooner or later. Might as well get it over with. "Yeah, sure."

Garth came out and walked over to the couch, sitting with his knees up, hugging himself, and needing either the warmth or the security. "I knew that you'd be hurt by this. You have to understand that I had no choice, Rob." He looked at Dick who was now seated at the far end of the couch, a few feet away. "I didn't want to do this any more than she did."

"Garth…"

"No. Please just hear me out."

Dick nodded.

"We've known each other so long and we've been-close-long enough that you think that you know all there is to know about me." He paused for a breath, to collect his thoughts. "You don't. Rob, I'm from a country and a culture, a race that has no equivalent on the surface. I've been raised with ideas and loyalties and responsibilities that you have no concept of. And I'm royal on top of that." He hugged himself tighter. "All my life, I've done what is expected of me. I've made few choices of my own and that's the way we're raised. We don't matter so much as individuals. The good of the whole is what's important. That phrase `a servant of the crown' is accurate. That's all that I am. I do what I have to do."

"You joined the Titans, you got away from Arthur, you moved in with me. What the fuck are you talking about? You do all kinds of things for you."

He shook his head. "No. I was allowed to join the Titans because it would give me an excuse to get comfortable dealing with people on the surface and to get away from Arthur. I could move in with you because no one thinks that it will last. If we don't break up on our own I'll be called home at some point anyway. This isn't important to the state."

"You're a prince-no, you're a Goddamned king and you're telling me that you're not important?"

"Important? Me personally? No. 'The prince' is important, and that happens to be the role that I was born to. That the line continue, yes, that is important because of the continuity and the insurance of a smooth transition after I'm dead. It's a guard against anarchy."

"So you're just a helpless cog in the machine? Bullshit. And none of this changes the fact that you were dishonest with me."

Garth's voice was still as quiet as ever and the accent as musical but it had a note of pleading and desperation Dick hadn't heard before. "I just didn't want to hurt you. I've told you that. I might have been wrong not to tell you, but it was only so that you would have those weeks to enjoy yourself. I knew, I mean, I hoped that when we both got back there would be plenty of time to work this out."

"No, you assumed that after I found out you'd be able to talk me out of being angry just like you get paid to bullshit difficult ambassadors at the UN." Dick was close to walking out the door and finding himself any other place to crash for the night.

"Rob. Please. Try to see this from my side. I had to marry this girl."

"'This girl', shit, does she even have a name?"

"Mykos."

Dick turned his head towards the dark window, obviously turning things over. Finally, quietly, "So no one expects us to last and that's why no one objected. You were just being indulged so that you'd work here."

"Those aren't my feelings. That's just what the others think."

"And how long did you give us? Another couple of months? Until the baby is born? Until you're transferred to Australia or someplace? Until Arthur dies?"

"Rob-you know that's not how I see this and it's not how I think of you. I love you, you know that. Beyond that, you're my closest friend."

"And you're a lying fuck." Getting up he walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Sighing, Garth waited almost an hour until Dick came out. There had been a long shower and then an even longer silence.

Sitting on the bed, he looked up as the door opened. "I'm going to go to the townhouse for a while until we can manage to talk about this. I can't do this. I can't do this constant anger and arguing." Dick just glared at him, his eyes red. "I've told you that I love you and that this doesn't matter to us. You knew that I had to do this for political reasons. I was wrong in not telling you beforehand and I see that now, but I did it so that you would go on that trip you were looking forward to." He paused for a moment. "Rob, you know that I love you. I've loved you for years and that won't change. Please understand this."

Dick's expression softened slightly as he pulled an old Halley Circus tee out of the drawer and put it on above the pair of jeans he was wearing. "The fact that I love you is the reason that you can hurt me as much as you have. Look, I don't care all that much about the marriage or even that you got her pregnant. I'm not happy about it, but I can live with it." He pushed his feet into a pair of old Nikes. "It's being lied to that I can't take. Not from someone who claims to love me. It means that I can't trust you and I can't live with that. I think that it would be a good idea if we weren't together right now."

Wordlessly Garth took a shaky breath, his eyes fixed at some midpoint of Dick's knees then nodded. "You're still wearing your ring." It seemed to be something for Garth to hang on to.

"Yeah, well I'm used to it."

"I was afraid that you'd feel like this." He stood and hesitated a second before he almost chastely kissed Dick on the cheek. "I called the Mission car while you were in the bathroom, it should be here." He went out to the front hallway, took his briefcase off of the table and partially turned back.

"Dick-please call."

Dick nodded as Garth closed the door behind him.

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