Watch Report

Come"

"Sir, report from the quarterdeck. The American ship "Constitution" has been sighted off the larboard beam. They are veering towards us, gunports closed, likely for passing honors or possible mail exchange. We shall be within hailing range in an hour."

"Thank you, Lieutenant. Anything else to report?"

"No sir, everything else is quiet."

There was a pause as Captain Sir Edward Pellew turned his attention to the navigational charts spread on the table before him. Lieutenant Hornblower remained where he was, at ease, but still somewhat rigid, as was his habit, his hand lightly resting on the table. He wasn't one to relax completely in the presence of his superiors.

After a moment of silence, he spoke up. "Is there anything else, sir?"

Pellew looked up at the young man before him, regarding him for several seconds before quietly asking, "Are you all right?"

The question moved Horatio out of his professional detachment, his eyes focusing on the man before him. "Yes, sir, fine." A small, shy smile appeared on his face. His eyes dropped. "Quite well, in fact."

Sir Edward looked at him carefully. "Good, I was concerned that you might be having-second thoughts or maybe a guilty conscience. No regrets?"

"No sir." He looked directly at his commander. "None." He seemed to gather his courage. "Do you have any qualms about last night, sir?"

The Captain moved closer to the younger man, his hand sliding across the table to gently take the slender fingers in his own. He shook his head. "No, no doubts, no qualms."

"Now what happens, sir?" In a moment of boldness, Horatio raised his hand to Edward's cheek in a careful caress. "I would like to have-something. With you. I think that we might be of a mind on this."

Pellew hesitated, turning to take the seat at his writing desk.

"Horatio, last night was wonderful, certainly, but I fear that we might, perhaps, not have the same perceptions on what actually happened. Forgive me, but I am more-experienced in these matters and I think that, perhaps, we see last night differently."

Immediately the lieutenant became his formal self, feeling himself dismissed. His walls had crashed back down into place. There would be no getting through them. "I see, sir. Of course you're correct. If you'll forgive me, I should report back on deck. I do have the watch, sir." He turned to leave.

"Mr. Hornblower, one more thing. I feel this should be discussed more fully between the two of us. We shall continue to work together and I wouldn't want that relationship affected by any weakening in trust. I would appreciate your dining with me later this evening, so that we might speak in some privacy. At six bells."

His face a neutral mask, Hornblower answered the only thing that was acceptable. "Aye, aye, Sir." He closed the door behind him as he left the cabin. He quickly made his way back to the quarterdeck. God, he was a fool. Worse than a fool. A fool and an idiot. To think that last night had meant anything to the Captain other than a diversion was beyond ridiculous. He took his position as the officer of the watch, to all eyes the picture of an impassive, professional young officer. Inside his mind was reeling with what had happened during the past eighteen hours. Walking the deck alone, late at night, unable to sleep, he had been standing at the railing when he had heard someone come up behind him. Turning he had seen the Captain. He, also, had failed in finding sleep and so they found themselves together. Sir Edward had suggested a game of chess, he had accepted. There had been wine and then, somehow, they had been kissing each other.

They hadn't just kissed; he had felt Edward's tongue in his mouth, sliding against his own tongue, caressing it. God, that had been an incredible thing. He had tasted the wine on the other man and had found himself wanting to push himself into that warm mouth. It had felt unbelievable.

Then he had felt his cravat and waistcoat being loosened. They were removed along with his shirt. He had done nothing to stop his clothing being stripped away from him, had helped, in fact by raising his arms. Standing, the two of them had moved into the Captain's sleeping cabin. He had whispered to the Captain that it was his first time. God, he'd been embarrassed about that, but Edward had said that it was all right; that he understood this was new to him. He realized that the Captain had removed his own shirt; they were standing against each other, nude to the waist. He could feel their erections rubbing against each other through their clothing. God, his knees had gone weak.

He felt the hands on his back, down to his arse, kneading, rubbing, none too gently. God, he'd never been that hard, no one had ever wanted him before. No one had ever asked him to do anything like this; no one had ever shown him the slightest interest. He'd dreamed about things like this, had touched himself at night, alone in his cot, but no one had ever wanted to touch him. This was incredible.

He had done whatever the Captain had wanted, whatever he had indicated an interest in, he had willingly agreed to. Anything to keep those amazing sensations from stopping. And the closeness-he hadn't really understood that part of it. The being with another person. No one had ever told him about that. When the others went to the whores on shore, they didn't ever say what it was like to hold another person in your arms, to feel their skin and their breath, to feel and hear their hearts pounding in need of you, to hear the gasps and the cries of desire. Jesus! That was beyond what he had dreamed about alone in his bed.

His whole life he had been lonely, unloved, unwanted. He hid it behind a wall of intelligence and reserve, but-he was so lonely. To hold someone, it was his dream to hold and be held. More than sex, he had craved that with everything in him. He told no one. He would never hint as much.

When the Captain had come, finally, inside him, it had seemed like a gift. A gift both from the Captain to him and then returned, the gift of mutual pleasure. He had thought-no, he had hoped that it wouldn't be just one night.

He was wrong. It had just been the moment and an inability to sleep. It had meant nothing other than a momentary release. That's all it was.

He had known, really, there was nothing else. He knew no one wanted him. He knew that. He had always known that. It was simply confirmed. And tonight, in a few hours the Captain wanted to have him eat dinner so they could calmly discuss that nothing had happened. Fine. He knew it would happen. He would be professional about it and he would never say another word about it. He could do this, he could keep his face pleasant and he would be polite and then he would leave. He would.

And he would have that one night to remember. He now knew what it felt like to kiss someone, to embrace them and to make love. He wouldn't forget that, in fact he would be grateful for what the Captain had given him. He had been ten times a fool to think that he would be wanted beyond what they'd had.

Fine.

Three hours later, after the passing honors had been rendered to the American ship and the excitement of such a thing had died down, after his watch had ended and he'd a chance to get cleaned and changed, Hornblower had knocked at the Captain's Cabin door for the second time that day.

"Come."

"Good Evening, sir. Thank you for inviting me."

"Ah. Yes, Mr. Hornblower, please come in. Would you like a glass of wine?"

"Thank you, sir, no. I fear that I've no head for spirits."

"I see, of course. Please sit down and make yourself comfortable."

"Thank you, sir."

The dinner was ready when he arrived, the Captain's servant laying it on the table before the two men. Assured that his services were no longer needed, the man withdrew.

"I was hoping for a game of chess later, if you would be agreeable, Mr. Hornblower."

"Yes, sir. It would be a pleasure."

The conversation limped along, awkwardly. Pellew finally deciding to take the initiative.

"Mr. Hornblower, Horatio-there are some things that I feel we should clear the air about."

"Yes, sir." The face opposite him was blank, controlled, and impassive. He wasn't going to make this easy, evidently.

"I want you to understand that last night was-lovely. It seemed to me as an unexpected treasure." Pellew noticed that Hornblower was looking at him as though he were a green midshipman with an excuse for tardiness--someone neither interesting nor believed.

"Yes, sir."

"But I'm sure you realize that such a thing cannot be allowed to continue. If either one of us were to encourage such actions, we would be courting danger and possible ruin for both of us."

"Of course, sir."

"You're a fine officer, Lieutenant. I expect that you will go far in this service, should it be your decision to continue. I wouldn't want to see that career threatened in any way."

"No, sir."

Pellew heard himself babbling away, knew that Hornblower had already dismissed what he was saying. The young man sitting before him had obviously already made up his mind about last night's encounter, whatever was said about it now. A thought came to him.

"Horatio, I do want you to understand that what happened last evening might have been of the moment, but I have never used the men who serve on my ship. I never will, either. What passed between us was a mutual decision. You do know that, do you not?"

"Yes, sir. I was aware of it at the time. I did choose to be with you. You didn't force anything." His reply was quiet, accepting, dismissive.

Pellew felt compelled to continue. "I'm aware, and was at the time, that last night was your first experience in such…things. I genuinely hope that I've not caused you any distress."

"No, sir." The face was a mask. Adept at reading men as he was, even the Captain couldn't penetrate this.

A silence surrounded the two men, each lost in his own thoughts and memories about the previous evening. Finally, Hornblower decided to break it. "Did you wish a game of chess, sir?" His tone was neutral.

"Yes, if you wouldn't mind."

"No, sir." Hornblower rose to get the board and the wooden box containing the pieces, returning to the table with them. The dinner dishes were pushed aside, making room. Quickly the pieces were placed and play began. The game was different than other games they had played against each other. Although well matched, Hornblower would generally and subtly allow the Captain to win. Tonight he played silently, intently and with every intention of coming out the victor, which he managed to do in a remarkably few number of moves. Pellew, accustomed to at worst ending in a draw or a close fought match knew that the young man had simply been indulging him in the previous games they had played. Hornblower was even brighter than he let on, knew more about strategy than he would admit.

It was a revelation of sorts. There were depths here unnoticed previously. "Would you care for another game?"

"If you would like to play again, sir, of course." The second game ended much as the first, only victory was even quicker, less than fifteen moves after the first pawn was touched, Pellew was in mate. Hornblower calmly looked at him. "Care to try again, sir?" Pellew nodded. The pieces were rearranged and play again commenced. Again, the Captain lost handily and quickly. Hornblower almost seemed to be toying with the Captain, as a cat will toy with a mouse before the kill.

Looking at the composed face of the man who had bested him for the third time, Pellew couldn't help but wonder in what other ways he might have underestimated his subordinate.

"It seems that you were indulging me when we played previously, Lieutenant."

"No, sir. I merely decided that I would play my usual game this evening."

"Indeed, and what game would that be?"

"To win, sir."

"I see. And do you always play to win?"

"I always play to an advantage, sir."

"And what advantage would you be attempting to gain?"

"Obviously my own, sir."

"What sort of advantage would you be seeking this evening, then?"

He hesitated, for the first time in over an hour unsure of his next move. "I thought that we might find a-mutual advantage, sir."

Pellew's eyes narrowed. What was this? Blackmail? "Indeed."

Emboldened, Hornblower continued. "I have come to the belief that we are evenly matched, sir. In some ways, at any rate. I thought that we might take-advantage of that fact."

"Have you, now?"

Horatio met his eyes and held them. "Perhaps, if you wish, I could teach you some-chess, at your convenience, of course."

"Are you talking about private lessons, Lieutenant?"

"If that would be your wish, sir."

"You realize that there is some risk involved, do you not?"

"Without risk, there is no advantage gained, sir."

"And you would be willing to risk to gain an advantage?"

"Sir, I believe that the advantage we might both gain would be worth a risk. Might it not, sir?"

"And if I should decide that chess is no longer my game? What would your reaction be to that, might I ask?"

"The choice is yours, of course, Captain. I would never feel the need to discuss that decision with another…in all likelihood, that is."

"I might simply choose to transfer you to another position, one less…visible."

"Yes, that is within your power, of course, sir. But then it would be asked why you had done so." The piercing dark eyes continued to meet the older man's steadily, calmly.

The Captain looked at his second Lieutenant. Nineteen years old, a commissioned officer, a prisoner of war veteran, beloved of his men, a shining light in the Royal Navy and until last night a virgin. Less than half the age of his commanding officer, he had, nevertheless, beaten him on his own ground. The youngster had turned the tide in his favor. This could prove an interesting challenge.

"Mr. Hornblower, I believe that we might both gain from your lessons. When might you wish to commence with them?"

"I would say, that would be up to your decision, sir."

Pellew rose, poured himself another glass of wine, adding a second glass for Hornblower. This time he accepted the liquor. "Do you think that you have so much to teach me, then?"

"I would never presume that, sir. I would hope that we might learn from each other. If that would be acceptable to you."

"And just how long might these lessons continue?"

The slightest of smiles. "I understand that some play for years, sir."

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