Time Away
Part 7
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The rest of the week went quickly. Jennifer and Molly would meet the two men for meals once a day or so, but they respected their privacy—well, Jen did, anyway. Molly would have moved into their suite if she’d had her way.
They did take her snorkeling again a couple of times and Brian had treated her to a new dress made by some of the local women that she had fallen in love with, but they made it clear that they wanted time alone.
Justin was as happy as any of them had ever seen him, which was what Brian had hoped for after the upheavals of the last year and Brian was content to know that this much, at least, seemed to be fairly settled.
One night towards the end of the trip, Justin was lying curled around Brian, falling asleep when Brian asked him, “Is it what you thought it would be like? Is there any real difference from a month or so ago?”
“Brian?”
“Being married—does it make a difference?”
He turned over onto his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows to see Brian’s face. “Yes—it does.”
He paused for a moment, it was late and he was tired but he wanted to say this right. “The day to day things are the same, getting up and eating breakfast and when we get home we’ll still have work and school and seeing friends and the laundry and all of that, but it’s different because I know that you love me enough to declare it in front of my family and anyone who cares enough to notice. It’s different because you promised all those vows to me and I know that you wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t mean them.” He leaned over for a kiss. “I heard what you said to Mom—that you meant the vows. I knew it when you said them to me and I know that you’ll stand by them.” Another kiss. “I know that you’ll wear that ring to let people know that you’re with someone, just like I will.”
“And it’s what you wanted?”
“You’re what I wanted, what I want.”
“No doubts?”
“No serious ones. Do you have any?”
There was no answer. “Brian? Do you?”
“I—.”
“Bri?”
“I think that you’ll find, at some point, in a few years or a decade, that we might have grown differently, in different ways.”
“…What do you mean?”
“You’re—you’re going to be angry—you’re young and still growing up and I’m afraid that when you’ve done that, you’ll have gone in another direction, away from me. We’re similar now, but in a few years you’ll pass me by.”
“Brian? Do you really think that?” The comment hadn’t made him angry—what he felt was sadness that Brian would think the time would come when Justin would grow beyond him, no longer need or want him.
“I think that it might happen. You still have so many things to do and learn. I’m afraid that—you’ll move away from me at some point, or that you’ll stay with me out some sense of obligation.”
He put his hand up to Brian’s face, along the side, his fingers on the forehead, the palm holding his cheek. “I know that I’m still growing up, but I’m sure about us. I wouldn’t have gone through this if I weren’t. I love you. I’ve told you this before.”
Silent, Brian put his arms around Justin, holding them together. “I know, but I also know that you were caught up in the romance of it and the excitement. You couldn’t have said no without feeling guilty about it.”
Stretching up slightly, Justin kissed Brian gently. “I love you. I’m happy and this was the right thing for both of us.”
“Promise me?”
“Anything, you know that I will.”
“If the time ever comes when you want to leave, even if it’s only for a weekend or a month or something, you’ll tell me. You won’t ever stay because you think you have to.”
He understood the reasons for the question—the needed knowledge that he was with Brian because he wanted to be, not out some sense of obligation. “I promise.” He also silently promised himself that Brian would never have a reason to doubt his motives if he could help it.
“Good.”
“And you’ll do the same?”
“Yes.”
“I love you.”
“I know you do, or I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me.”
“And I wouldn’t have said yes.”
“…I know that, too.”
They were quiet for a minute.
“When is that party Mom is giving us?”
“Ummm…next weekend, I think. Why?”
“And none of the ‘family’ knows, right? Let’s not tell them, OK?”
“Surprise them?”
“Yeah. Can’t you just see the look on Deb’s face? And Lind’s?” He was thinking “And especially Michael’s”, but wasn’t about to say it.
“How the fuck are you going to keep this a secret? You couldn’t keep the Goddamned sun coming up a secret.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Whatever. You know you spill.”
“Fuck you. I don’t.”
“You are an fucking font, my bride.”
“I’m not your fucking bride, asshole.”
“…Beg to differ.”
“You’re actually going to call me that?”
“Does it piss you off?” There was no answer. “Works for me.”
“Now who’s the twat?”
In answer Brian pulled him so that Justin was sitting upright straddling his hips, Brian’s erection pressing against his ass.
He leaned over enough so they could kiss. More quickly than either of them had anticipated, it became foreplay, mouths and hands moving across necks and backs and breasts and shoulders and faces and through hair. The lube was opened, the condom rolled onto Brian. He was just placing his cock for penetration when Justin rolled them both over. “Like this, so I can feel your skin against me from my mouth down to where you’re in me.” He pressed inside for the third time that night, the rhythm a familiar one they knew well. They came together, something that had been happening more and more frequently and which always made them smile in accomplishment—the one thing Brian was willing to celebrate.
They kissed lazily, pulling slightly away from one another, the used condom discarded, a damp cloth both cooling and cleaning them both. Finally, Brian turned Justin onto his side, spooning behind him, finally ready for sleep.
The next morning, their last full day on the island, they had arranged for breakfast in bed followed by a private cruise on a medium sized sailboat. Reluctantly, Brian had agreed to inviting Jennifer and Molly along with the understanding that they would still be able to have time alone.
They were sailed to a small uninhabited island about ten miles away. The weather was good and the breeze steady. They would be taken to the small island, left to swim or nap or snorkel, eat a lunch cooked by the three man crew then return in time to get cleaned up for a dinner that Brian had made sure would involve only the two of them.
Sitting on the beach that only held their own footprints, Brian watched Justin attempt to teach his mother to snorkel. She seemed to be starting to get the hang of it and Brian was dimly thinking of the incongruous mental picture of his own mother attempting something like that and smiling at the thought.
“Justin keeps trying to get her to try new things. He thinks she’s too sheltered.”
He looked over at Molly beside him, also watching the two in the water. The two on shore had staked out the shade of a large tree, spreading a large sheet underneath.
“She seems to be trying out there.”
She just nodded. “He can usually get her to try, anyway, especially since he moved out.
She’s afraid that if she doesn’t, he’ll blow her off.”
“Justin wouldn’t do that. He loves Jen.”
“Yeah, sure, but she’s still a pain in the ass mother a lot of the time.”
“She worries about both of you. That’s what mothers do.”
“Justin said that yours didn’t. He said that she’s a complete bitch.”
“Yeah, well, she’s the exception that proves the rule.”
“Is she really a total bitch?”
“When did you ever discuss her with Justin?”
“After he moved in with Ethan. He was over doing his laundry one day and we started talking. He said that she’d gone over to the loft one time and he wondered how you had ever grown up with her because she was so awful.” She seemed to realize what she had just said. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry, She’s still your Mom.”
“No, it’s OK. She’s—my mother is unhappy. I think her life didn’t turn out the way she hoped it would and she’s angry about that.”
“Justin said that she drinks too much, too. Did you have to live with her when she was drunk?”
“Why are you asking, Molly?”
“I was wondering about you. I mean, you’re so smart and all, but you never say what you’re really thinking or feeling. My mother thinks it’s because your parents screwed you up.”
“She said that?”
“Pretty much.”
Brian actually laughed. “Your mother is an intelligent woman. My parents were completely fucked.”
“Is that why you’re gay?”
“It’s why my mother prays ten novenas a day for the salvation of my soul. I was born gay, just like Justin was. But I would assume she blames herself for my queerdom, too.”
“Do you see her much?”
“My mother? Fuck, no. After many years we’ve agreed that she’ll simply regret the day I was born and I’ll just take up residence in Hell.”
“Yeah, but doesn’t that make you sad?”
“…Sometimes.” He glanced at her then back out at the two in the water, now moving smoothly. “I cared more before I knew Justin.”
“So now he’s your family.” She said it as a matter of fact
“And you and your mother, and Gus.”
She kissed his cheek. “I’m glad that you and Justin got back together. Ethan was a jerk, but Justin wouldn’t listen and Mom thought he was terrific at first. You’re much better.”
He smiled, laughing slightly. Pulling her close he kissed her forehead. “I always knew you were the brains of this operation.”
“Brian? Is it weird to be married to Justin?”
“It’s fine being married to Justin. It’s weird being married.”
They saw the other two coming towards them up the sand. “Brian, I won’t tell anyone about what we were talking about.”
“I know you won’t, Mol. I said you’re the brains.”
“Well, you and me are, anyway.”
“You got that fucking right.”
Justin tossed his mask and flippers on the sand and flopped down beside the other two, Jen bringing up the rear a few yards behind him. “Hey Brian? We have reservations for dinner tonight, right?”
“You know we do, twat, why are you asking?”
Under the guise of kissing his husband, Justin whispered, “Because my mother is trying to make this a farewell dinner with everyone and I want to lose them.”
“Brian, I thought it would be fun if we all have a last dinner together, what do you think?”
Biting his tongue, Brian finally managed, “Justin and I have plans, Jen, but maybe we could meet for a last breakfast tomorrow. Sound good?”
“Oh, God, you two aren’t going to do it in a restaurant, are you?” Molly looked at them kissing and semi groping in horror.
“Not with you there.”
“Mom, if I have to eat with them doing this in public I’ll yak.”
“Wouldn’t want that, Mom. You two go ahead without us.”
“What about you two?”
“We’ll make out just fine, Jen.”
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