Secrets

~ Nine ~

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"What the fuck do you mean you called your grandmother? Why the hell would you do that?"

She looked at her father like he was an idiot. It was a teenaged trait that Brian was quickly tiring of. In fact it was starting to piss him off. "I called her because you wouldn't and because I want to meet her."

"I didn't call her because I don't want to see her. And what the fuck did you tell her?"

"That I know you and we're friends and I thought it would be fun if we all had dinner together and got to know one another."

He glared. "You made it sound like we're fucking dating."

They were standing on opposite sides of the counter in the loft. "Well I wasn't about to just ask `How's it hanging, Grandma?'"

"And tell me how the other spawn of Satan managed to be included in this tete-te-tete."

Jamie sipped her diet Snapple. "She told me that she was already having dinner with her daughter and I said that would be lovely."

Brian shook his head. "I'm not going."

"C'mon, Dad, don't be pissy. It's just dinner."

"The phrase that comes to mind is `Not over my dead body'."

Jamie went into the fridge and handed him the beer she pulled out for him, unasked. "Please, Dad?"

"And is Justin supposed to be there, too?"

"…I think she might be happier if he wasn't."

He was astounded and impressed by his daughter's balls. "No shit."

"Dad…Please?"

Shit.

"Please?"

Fuck.

"Dad?"

Shit.

"What time?"

Big smile. "Six, at the Outback near her house. You know where that is, right?"

"Her house, yes. The restaurant we can find."

She came around the counter, putting her arms around him, hugging. "Thank you, Daddy. I know you don't want to do this and you're sweet."

"I'm not sweet, I'm pissed and don't ask me for anything ever again, until you die."

"OK." She hugged him tighter. " And Justin said he'd come, too, so we'll have them outnumbered."

"…He's not coming." The last time he'd seen Joan was post fuck during the viagra adventure. Not happening. No.

"But…"

"He's not meeting my mother again. Not unless he initiates it…or she does. You're not going to force `happy family' on Justin."

"But if he's your…" She knew when her father couldn't be moved. "…OK."

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They walked into the restaurant at six fifteen, slowed by traffic and road construction. Joan and Claire were sitting across from one another at a table for four, glasses of wine in front of them, both almost empty. Oh, great, a typical Kinney family get together from the looks of it.

Claire looked up as they approached, obviously saying something to Joan who seemed to stiffen. Neither woman got up as they got to the table.

"Hello Brian. We were starting to wonder if you were coming. And who's this young lady?" Claire was trying for polite until she knew whom she was dining with. It hit her, you could see the connection being made. The look on her face told Brian she knew who this was. Claire stared a hole in the girl. Jamie thought her aunt looked like a startled rabbit.

Joan gave them an appraising once over, stone faced. "It's nice to see you with a young lady for a change, Brian. Have we turned a new leaf?"

"No, we're still leaving things status quo, thanks. This is Jamie, whom you may remember hearing about, Mom. She's your granddaughter."

The source of the Kinney glare turned her full powers onto the youngster. "Of course, the result of your teenaged misadventure with the opposite sex."

He turned to his daughter. "Do you want to go?"

"Dad, please?" They sat down, the waitress was beside them immediately asking for drink orders and handing them menus. They all ordered quickly, Brian asking for a double JB, Jamie getting diet coke.

"So what on earth prompted this unexpected dinner, Brian? It's beyond me why, after what's happened between you and John, you would think we would want to…"

"I had nothing to do with this, Mom. Jamie decided that she would like to meet the members of the family she hasn't yet had the pleasure of. I'm willing to bet it's not going to become a weekly occurrence so drink up in peace."

"I just wanted to met you, that's all. I mean, you're my grandmother and you're my aunt. We're family and all of that."

Joan redirected her stare back at the girl from where it had been resting on Brian. "We're not a particularly close family—Jamie. You're father's choices about how he lives his life make that quite impossible and have for years now. In fact just today I said the entire station of the cross for him and lit another candle, but…"

"This isn't helping, Mom. Jamie has nothing to do with my many faults—in fact I don't even think she's a lesbian." Jamie shot him a glance. God, he knew how to push people's buttons when he wanted to. The other two exchanged a look and seemed pained to be sitting at the same table with him.

Change the subject, change the subject. "I did my first modeling job yesterday. Would you like to see some of the pictures?" She pulled them out and handed them over to the two women. Brian said nothing, just watched the reactions.

Claire looked surprised and impressed by turns and Joan looked appalled.

They looked at the half dozen or so eight by tens with little comment. Claire commented on the professionalism and quality and Joan looked disapproving.

"I always think it's terrible the way everyone tries to sell things using sex. It's vulgar. And to use a young girl—just how old are you? Sixteen you say?—like that just cheapens everything about her and whatever it is you're selling this time, Brian." She handed the pictures back. "You don't really approve of this sort of thing, do you? You are the child's father and to allow her to be exploited in this manner…"

"The child's name is `Jamie' and she's sitting two feet away from you. I think the pictures are hot."

"You would."

The waitress brought their salads and their drinks. The two women both were given refills of their wine.

As soon as she was gone Claire started in. "God, Brian, how could you let your daughter"—she almost gagged on the word—"pose like that? I can almost see her…Leave it to you to encourage her. And what's next? Prostitution?"

Brian knew he was punching a brick wall, but Jamie needed to be defended. "This is part of a campaign for Donna Karan's top line with one of the best photographer's on the east coast directing the shoot. These pictures will probably be used for ads in Vogue, Harper's and possible billboards in New York. Jamie has also been contacted by the Ford agency who wants to sign her. I doubt that street walking will be necessary for her."

"Yes, dear, you seem to have filled that position for the family already."

"Mrs. Kinney—Grandma—don't talk to my father like that." Jamie was getting pissed and that wasn't a good thing. She had the Kinney temper and she wasn't afraid to us it. She was just getting started. "I mean, shit. "Joan looked shocked. "He and my mom got carried away when they were kids—what? You're going to never forgive him? You hate him because he's gay? Big fucking deal. He's smart and kind to me and does everything he can to help me and my mother." She was staring down the old lady, not an easy feat. "And what makes you so hot shit? The only thing you did when his father was beating him was telling him to shut up so the neighbors wouldn't hear him crying or whatever."

"Young lady…"

"Screw you. You're shit as a mother, you suck as a person and you can kiss my ass. C'mon, Dad, let's get out of here."

"…It's not hard to see you're your father's daughter."

The waitress, who had been watching the last few exchanges, started to put their plates down in front of them.

Brian stood, not quite managing to conceal his smirk. "Could we get those to go? We'll wait by the front. Lovely to see you again Mom, Claire." His arm around Jamie, they walked out.

Joan looked at Claire and after a beat said, "I didn't think it was possible for him to get any worse, but that child is simply a nightmare."

Nodding, Claire agreed. "Thank God my kids aren't anything like that one."

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They had their dinner at the loft, the steaks were pretty good and the atmosphere was a lot better.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know she was that bad. I really didn't. Debbie and Lindsay told me that she was sort of cold, but I had no idea that she would be like that." She stabbed a piece of meat. "God, what a couple of bitches."

"The trademark of the Kinney women. Is it any wonder that I'm gay?" He was, thank God, kidding. She ignored him.

"What was you father like? You've never said anything about him."

"He was angry all the time, drunk. He hated his wife, his kids, his job." Brian said it in a monotone, it was just part of his life.

"Did he really hit you?"

"…Yeah."

They continued eating, mostly in silence, both of them thinking about the evening and the last week.

Brian was mentally going back further to when he first learned Pat was pregnant. He'd been scared, afraid to tell his parents. His first thoughts were that they had to get rid of it but as the weeks went by, as the two of them talked and got over the initial panic and began to accept the reality he had begun to change his thinking.

He was still fifteen years old and gay. Nothing would change that, but he started to think of `it' as a real person. He began to fall into the trap of thinking that here, finally, would be someone who would love him, someone he could maybe safely love back. Though he still tried to convince Pat that an abortion or adoption were the only real choices they had, he didn't believe it after a while.

Brian began to accept that, at fifteen, he was going to become a father and it scared the hell out of him.

Then one day, before the parents or anyone else knew, he realized, startled at the realization, that he was looking at kids in a playground and he didn't mind.

He had been there when Jamie was born; he had watched the whole thing, holding Pat's hand. They nurses thought them cute, lovebirds and all of that crap. They didn't care. It didn't matter.

He had visited her every day at the hospital and then as often as he could at her home. He had mowed lawns, pumped gas one summer, bused tables, shoveled driveways, raked leaves. He had done warehouse work and gotten a job doing check out at the local supermarket and in the Bursar's office at college. He had worked two jobs through most of his schooling. Everything he could spare had gone to Pat and the baby.

He had been amazed watching her grow, more than he was with Gus and sometimes, though he would never admit it, he felt guilty about that. She was smart, beautiful, and strong willed. She was wonderful and he adored her. He simply didn't feel as—responsible for Gus. He had two parents, he had been planned. It wasn't the same. Jamie needed him more.

"Dad?"

He looked over at her.

"I think I may call Mom and go home tomorrow, if it's OK."

"This visit isn't what you thought it would be?"

"Actually it was but I want to hang out with my friends for a few

days, if that's OK."

"…Of course, if you want. I'll take you in the morning, your mom will be working."

She was finishing her dinner. "You really like Justin, don't you? I mean besides—you know."

He half smiled, nodded. "Are you alright with that?"

"For now. He's just so—young. Doesn't that bother you?"

He bitch slapped her upside the head. "I'm still reasonably young, bitch. And if you behave maybe I'll introduce you to his younger brother. We can double date."

"He doesn't have a brother, he has a sister."

"Whatever."

She gave him her `Right, Dad' look. "I guess. I like Gus, though and Debbie is fun. The others will take some time."

"So you can come back and get to know them better."

She moved over closer to where he was sitting. "Will you help me with the stuff with modeling? The contracts and all of that?"

"If you're sure you want to do it, yes. And if you want to quit, if you decide you don't like it, that's fine, too."

She leaned over and hugged him. That had to be Pat's influence. The Kinney's weren't really much for displaying affection.

He knew everyone thought he'd made a mistake in not telling anyone about Jamie and maybe he had, but it was the only way he could handle it. He was too young to be able to deal with the questions and the looks when he was a teenager. For the first few years he had refused, made excuses whenever Pat wanted him to take the baby someplace public—to a mall or to a movie in case someone he knew saw them and saw the resemblance, made the connection.

It wasn't until college that he'd started to change but even then he couldn't tell Mikey or Deb. He simply couldn't

They would accept it now. They would accept Jamie. They would get together, his friends, and they would talk about `that asshole' and how he should have said something, how poor Justin didn't need this and how unfair it was to them all to be kept in the dark all these years.

Fuck it.

He made his decision and it had been right for him while it lasted.

Times change. People change.

Brian had changed.

Well, some things didn't change. His mother, Claire. They would stay the same. It didn't matter.

Jamie would come back now, probably fairly often. He knew the pictures Charles had taken were good. They were good enough that she would get work, if she wanted it and she was smart enough not to let it screw her up and if she wasn't smart enough, he was there and so was Pat. She'd be alright.

He heard the door slide open, looked over. Justin was back, tantrum over.

Jamie saw him. "Hey, Justin."

"Hey. How was dinner?"

"Cut short. God, what a couple of bitches. Dad? You tell him."

Brian and Justin looked at one another, each taking a reading of the other. The atmosphere seemed benign.

"You planning on staying?"

Justin smiled the smile that was about three quarters wattage, not quite the full Monty."…I'm home." And she'd be going soon so they could get back to normal. He could handle occasional visits from the snotty little cunt if he had to.

Jamie saw the looks they exchanged. "Oh, Christ. Are you two going to have at all night again?"

Brian draped an arm over her shoulders.

"Sounds like a plan."

"Oh, God, Dad…"

"Just part of your education, darlin."

The End

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