Secrets

~ Three ~

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"New York? No fucking way."

The three of them, Brian, Pat and their daughter Jamie were in the terminal, their flight had just been called and they would be spending the next three days showing Jamie some of the sights for her sixteenth birthday. There tickets for a couple of shows, some art exhibits she would enjoy and shopping.

Brian had sprung for rooms at the Plaza, partly to impress and partly because it was well located for the things they would be doing.

They cleared security, checked in at the gate. The plane loaded, they took their seats-business class for the one hour flight since this was Brian and all three had long legs-and Brian sat talking with Jamie while Pat leafed through a couple of magazines across the aisle.

Jamie knew, in a vague way, that her father was gay. It had never been an issue; it was just there and not even worth talking about. She had accepted it all her life, just as she accepted him. She even sort of knew how she had come to be but she had never really completely understood why it was that two people, OK, three people, who loved each other didn't just live together.

They always had such fun together. Always. They almost never argued or any of the crap that went on with other people she knew. Oh, right, maybe she and her mother didn't always see eye to eye, but she'd never argued with her Dad. Never.

When she'd been younger, like maybe five or six or seven, she had asked dozens of times and finally just figured that, like a lot of her classmates and friends, her parents were divorced. The fact that it wasn't true didn't seem to shake her belief. In her mind her parents were like the ones who were divorced but maintained a friendly relationship for the sake of the child. OK, she knew that they had never been married in the first place and that her parents actually liked each other and were friends, but she liked her explanation better.

Hell, that was a common enough story and made it easier whenever anyone asked.

But the problem was that she wasn't little anymore.

"Dad? Can I ask you something?" He was going over some things on his laptop. It looked like business stuff from what she could see. The heading on the page said "Vanguard".

"Sure." His eyes were focused on the screen. He'd apologized when he'd pulled the machine out, but he had a couple of things to finish off.

"It's personal."

That got his attention. "What do you want to know?"

"Are you really gay? I mean, I know you're gay, but are you really-you know, gay? Do you really sleep with men and all of it?"

He had made sure that she was never around when he had tricks over but he wasn't about to lie, she was old enough to understand. "Yes, I do. Does it bother you?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Though he hadn't purposely kept it from her, the thing with Justin and him being solid was still too new for him to be shouting it from the rooftops-if rooftop shouting was in his repertoire. "I live with some one, yes. His name is Justin. We've known each other for about three years now."

"Why haven't I ever met him?" She had been to the loft, but never when Justin had been living there. It had been easy to keep things separate.

For starters, he doesn't know you exist, thought Brian. "No real reason. Would you like to?"

"Does Mom know him?"

Pat looked up. "Do I know who?"

"Do you know Justin?"

Pat looked across to Brian. "I've heard about him, but no, I've never met the young man."

"He's young?"

Brian knew this could get tricky. "He'll be twenty next month."

Jamie looked at him in some horror. "You were screwing a kid who was like almost the age I am now? How could you do something like that? That's…gross."

Brian wasn't about to be lectured by his teenaged daughter. "No it isn't. He's extremely mature for his age."

She wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not. "I'll bet."

"Can it. You can meet him if you want when we get back, but drop the pissy attitude or it's not going to happen."

"If we didn't know about him, does he know about us?"

Brian was actually off balance. He knew that at some point the various parts of his life would have to get acquainted, he just hadn't thought it would be quite yet.

Jamie knew avoidance when she saw it. "He doesn't, does he?" Brian would have killed for a cigarette at that moment. "Dad, that is such bullshit. I mean, are you ashamed of me or something? Jesus, what else haven't you bothered to tell us?"

"You know that I'm proud of you and stop queening out on me." He closed his computer. "Ask me anything you want to know-in fact, I'll tell you what. This weekend you ask and I'll answer any questions you have. OK?"

Pat was listening to them. "Does that go for me, too?"

He just gave her a look that told her what he thought of that idea.

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Back at the loft Justin was wondering just what the fuck Brian was up to this time. This was strange, even for him.

Sure, there had been any number of business trips while he was trying to get established as a partner and they weren't always things he'd known about in advance. Sometimes it happened. It did. He'd get a call and he'd have to get on the next plane.

It happened all the time in fact.

But this was weird, this wasn't like that. This was-hell, who know what the fuck it was, but it wasn't normal, even by Kinney standards.

Fuck it, this was bullshit.

He picked up the phone.

"Hi, Cynthia? Did Brian tell you which client he's meeting with in New York this weekend?"

There was an awkward pause. "Sweetie, he didn't tell me. He just said he'd see me on Monday."

"Did he tell you that he was going to New York?"

"Well, no, not specifically, but you know how he is."

"Lindsay, where is he?"

"You just said he told you he's in New York."

She was fucking covering for him. Goddamnit. "Right. That's about what I thought. Thanks."

"…Hey, Justin, it's probably nothing, you know him. He's probably just trying to get a new account or something."

"Sure…and I won't tell him I asked you, don't worry."

Well, shit. Maybe he really was going for some big account. That was what he did, for God's sake.

Fucking Brian.

He tried Brian's cel. He got voicemail. Damnit.

Well, fuck it, he said he'd be back Sunday night. Whatever was going on he'd find out then, in the meantime, he had a shift at the diner to get to.

Debbie saw it the minute he walked in. "What did he do this time?"

"Nothing. He's just away for a few days."

Michael heard that. "Brian's away? Where did he go this time?"

"He's in New York, meeting with clients. I think."

"You think?" Debbie gave him one of her 'that asshole' looks. "And what do you think he's really doing, as if I have to ask."

Justin just shrugged then caught the look on Lindsay's face at the corner booth. She knew something. She did. Gus was with her, smiling when he caught sight of Justin, he was drawing with his fries in his ketchup. "Very organic, Gus. You're showing a feel for the texture of your work this evening." The child laughed at the big words, knowing that whatever Justin had said was meant kindly.

Justin turned to Linds. "So where's Brian?"

"Isn't he at Woody's?" She was trying for innocent.

"Bullshit. Where is he?"

"If he hasn't told you, I can't, Justin. I'm sorry, but I just can't." She actually did look sorry.

"But you know where he is?"

"If he told you he was going to New York that's where he probably is."

"And…?"

"Justin, sweetie, you have to ask him." She got up, gathering their things. "I have to meet Mel. Sweetie, but it's not what you think. It really isn't." She pecked his cheek as she was leaving. "He really loves you, don't always think the worst of him-sometimes he'll surprise you, OK?"

Fucking Brian.

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Brian and Jamie were walking through Central Park after spending almost five hours in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Meandering their way back towards the Plaza, thirty or so blocks downtown on Fifth Avenue. Pat had decided to spend the day with an old college friend down in the Village. They'd planned on meeting up for dinner and a show later.

They'd had a good time going through the galleries, but it seemed to Brian that Jamie had something she was having trouble working the nerve up to say.

She would, eventually.

"So you ended up getting Mom pregnant when you were both fifteen. Was she the only woman you've ever slept with? I mean, was it like you were just curious or horny or something?"

He gave her one of his looks. "Your mother and I were best friends and she was the first, yes. It just happened one night when I was upset about something. She wanted to comfort me and it went further than we thought it would"

"What were you upset about?"

"…My father had gotten drunk-again and had embarrassed me in front of a lot of people."

She looked like she wanted to say something to comfort him sixteen years after the fact, but instead just slipped her arm around his waist, giving him a one armed hug. "Poor Dad." He draped his around her shoulder and they strolled along. "Tell me about Justin."

"He's almost twenty, he's an art student at PIFA."

"Is he any good?"

"Very."

"And you met him when he was my age?"

"He was seventeen and he was…" Brian trailed off.

"He was what?"

"He was beautiful." He smiled down at her. "He still is and he's smart and funny and fights hard for what he thinks needs fighting for."

Jamie laughed at him. "And you fell in love at first sight and now you're living happily ever after? Are you going to marry him?"

"There have been a couple of missteps, but it seems to be back on track now. And I'm a confirmed bachelor."

"Mom told me that you asked her to marry you."

"Justin isn't going to get pregnant."

They kept walking, pausing at a food cart to get bottled water. "What problems did you and Justin have?"

Brian took his time with his answer. "At first I didn't love him, he was just another tr-he was just another guy and that hurt him. Later, when we were getting closer to being together he was bashed pretty badly and that was hard."

"Is he OK now?"

"Mostly, yes, but it took a long time. Then he…I wasn't…he found someone else who he thought would be better for him."

"Asshole."

Brian just smiled, yes, that was how Ethan had impressed him, too. "When that didn't work out we ended up back together. That was about six or eight months ago."

"Can I meet him?"

" 'May I?'" She jabbed his ribs.

"May I?"

"If you'd like, when we get back." Brian realized what he'd just said. Shit. "Give me some time to get him used to the idea that his step-daughter is almost the same age as his sister."

"Dad, does he know about me?"

"No. Most of my friends don't. It's none of their business."

"That is just such bullshit. You're my father, I want to know about people who are important to you and now I'm sixteen and you've never…"

"Jamie, fine. When we get back you can meet Justin."

"And?"

"And what?"

"There was an 'and' there. Who else?"

"Your brother."

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