The knocking was insistent, despite the fact that it was muffled by the heavy door. It must have been going on for a few minutes to have succeeded in penetrating his sleep and manage to wake him up. Reluctantly, he got off the couch and walked, barefoot, to the door.

 

“Is Brian here?”

 

Fuck me. Joanie. Brian’s Mom. The Antichrist. “I’m sorry; he’s not home from work yet. Could I help you?”

 

She stared through him with Brian’s eyes. “You’re his—‘young man’, aren’t you? You’re the one who was here before.”

 

“I’m Justin, Mrs. Kinney. Brian and I live together.” He stood aside so that she could get past him. “You and I met a few months ago.”

 

She seemed to digest this for a few seconds before deciding whether or not to continue, obviously remembering having interrupted him and Brian fucking, them coming out of the bedroom partially dressed and sweaty. “Yes—of course.” It was impressive that three words could convey so much distaste. She stood in the middle of the room, unsure. “Do you expect him soon? I would like to talk to him about something.”

 

“Ummm, I’m not really sure. He’s usually home about now, but he might have had to work late or sometimes he stops someplace.” This woman was solid ice. “Usually if he’s going to be delayed he’ll call and he hasn’t, so he should be here. Could I get you something?” Damnit, he was starting to babble.

 

“I wouldn’t want to put you to any trouble.”

 

“It’s no problem. What can I get you?” He was in the kitchen, away from her. On purpose.

 

“A glass of wine would be nice.” Of course.

 

“White OK? There’s a bottle of Zinfandel open.”

 

“Yes, thank you.”

 

He handed her the glass and offered her a chair by the window, over by the couch. The silence was becoming very loud.

 

“You said that you and Brian actually live here together?”

 

“Yes.” He didn’t know what to add to that.

 

“How long has this been going on? What I mean to say is that you’re very young, aren’t you?”

 

“I’m nineteen. We’ve been pretty much together for two years.” No point in telling her about the affair with Ethan, it was none of her fucking business.

 

“That’s odd, he never liked having children around.”

 

“…Excuse me?”

 

“And Brian pays for everything, I take it?” She didn’t miss a beat.

 

“I’m a student, I can only work part time right now. We have an agreement that I’ll pay him back after I graduate.”

 

She went on, ignoring him. “I understand that you were injured last year? You seem fine now.”

 

“Brian helped me a lot when I was hurt. I don’t think I’d have gotten better without him.” He paused for a second. He wasn’t going to get through to her, but he could try. “He saved my life.”

 

She just looked at him dismissively, doubting, not believing and not really caring, either.

 

“I would have died if he hadn’t been there.”

 

“From what I gathered in the newspapers, you wouldn’t have been harmed in the first place if he hadn’t been there.” She picked up her glass. “It said that he was flaunting you in front of the entire crowd with that dance. The article said that it was quite—erotic and that after it was over he—kissed you in front of everyone.” The thoughts of what they had done together in the hotel ballroom seemed to make her ill.

 

“We kissed each other.”

 

There was another awkward pause as she sipped her wine, studying him. Finally she spoke, her voice quiet. “I’m sorry.”

 

Justin was startled—“For what?”

 

“For Brian, for what he makes you do. I can’t even imagine the things that he demands of you…what he must want from you.” She shook her head, genuinely upset for him and what her son had become. “I’m just… so sorry.”

 

“Mrs. Kinney, he doesn’t make me do anything. I’m here because I want to be. I’m with Brian because I love him.”

 

She drained her wine glass and rising, crossed over to the kitchen to refill it. “You’re very young. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

 

He had followed her, pouring a glass for himself. He needed it, for God’s sake. He tried again. “There’s nothing to understand. I love Brian and he loves me. I’m here because we want to be together. It’s pretty simple.”

 

She regarded him then moved on, ignoring what he had just said. She began to wander around the loft, taking it in, looking at the pictures and the books and things that were scattered around. “Brian was always—difficult. I had hoped that he would join the priesthood when he was younger, did you know that?”

 

“I don’t think that Brian is all that religious now.”

 

“No, most likely not, but at one time he was an alter boy and so devout. It was one of the few things that we had in common.” She glanced over at him. “The church, I mean.”

 

She had already finished her second glass and had returned to the kitchen for a refill. Damn, the Kinney ’s could put it away. Brian came by it honestly at any rate, learned it at mother’s knee, as it were.

 

“I met your mother, you know. I was here a month or so ago looking for Brian again and she was here doing something or other. She seemed to be a nice woman.”

 

“She is.” Jennifer had mentioned the meeting, saying that Brian’s mother was a nightmare and had helped her understand Brian a bit more easily

 

She picked up the framed photo of a shirtless Brian holding Gus when he was still an infant. She stared at the picture for a long moment.

 

“Brian has a son, you know. That poor child is a bastard. When I asked Brian if it was baptized, he actually laughed at me. I suppose that I shouldn’t have been surprised, after all, knowing how Brian can be. I pray for him daily. That baby, I mean.”

 

“His name is Gus. He looks exactly like Brian. Have you ever met him?”

 

“No, nor will I until Brian sees fit to marry that child’s mother.”

 

“That could be a while, she’s already married.”

 

Joan looked at him in horror. “Dear God. When I thought that he couldn’t appall me any more, he manages.” Justin smiled to himself at the mental picture if Joan found out to whom Lindsay was married.

 

“Mrs. Kinney? Could I ask you a question?”

 

She stared at him with those eyes. “What would you like to know?”

 

He hesitated. It was really none of his business, but fuck it he went ahead anyway. “Why did you have Brian?”

 

“Pardon me?”

 

“Is it really because the rubber broke? That’s what Brian told me his father said.”

 

She didn’t answer, just stared daggers at him then turned to leave. “Please tell Brian that I was here and that I have something to discuss with him.”

 

“Why the shit did you let him get hit? Debbie told me that she had to bandage him up almost every Goddamned week and that she had to take him to the emergency room a couple of times.” He moved to block her exit. “I know he’d fucking kill before he’d let someone do that to Gus.”

 

She turned to face him. “I can see what Brian finds attractive in you. You’re his match in both rudeness and vulgarity. And you know nothing about it.”

 

“I know that he’s still dealing with the mind fucks you played on him.” She tried to get past him, he moved further into her path. “I know that there are still nights when he can’t sleep because of it and I know that sometimes he…” No, he couldn’t let her know that sometimes when he was very drunk, he cried wondering why his parents had hated him so much.

 

“He what?” She had the Kinney sneer. Damn, Brian learned a lot from her.

 

He thought fast. “He tells me how lucky I am to have the mother I do. She didn’t want to abort me. Neither did my father.”

 

“You’ve gone too far. Justin—that is your name, isn’t it?” He nodded. “Brian was—unexpected and I wasn’t sure, we weren’t sure whether we would be able to…”

 

“To what? To love him? To be parents? To give a crap if he was dead or alive?” She made a move to push past him, made it as far as the elevator, pushing the button to summon it. “You have no idea what he’s like. You have no fucking idea.” The machinery whined. “He smart and cares about people and he loves his son and takes care of him. He’d do anything for Gus and for Gus’s mother and for the rest of his friends, too.” She had her back turned to him, pulling the gate open as the elevator arrived. She stepped inside.

 

“You’ve no idea what he was like when he was younger. You can’t imagine how he would…”

 

“Who gives a shit if he was difficult when he was twelve? He’s a man now and he’s amazing and you’ve no idea what the fuck you’re missing by not even wanting to know him.” He turned away in disgust and realization that there was no swaying her. “And Gus is your grandson, however he was born.”

 

“I pray for that child, just as I pray for Brian and as I shall pray for you.”

 

“Well, I appreciate the thought, but…”

 

“According to the Bible, my son is going to Hell and so, young man, are you. The child may yet find some redemption. I will continue to seek mercy for all of your souls.” Pressing the button, she was gone.

 

He turned back into the loft, pulling the door closed behind him and walked into the kitchen. Draining his wine glass, he poured himself another. Jesus. She was worse that he thought. He knew she was cold, judgmental, condemning of Brian his homosexuality and his friends but this was beyond bullshit.

 

He had assumed that Brian was exaggerating about what she was like, even though he actually said very little about her. Debbie, Michael, his mother—all of them had told him what she was like, but he hadn’t really thought that it could be true. He had just assumed that they were ragging on him or blowing it up like any good drama queen would. Shit, she was his mother, he was her son—how in the name of God could she treat him like a stray kitten to be thrown away?

 

Forty-five minutes later he was still looking at a blank piece of sketch paper when he heard Brian’s key in the lock. Meeting him at the door as it opened he wrapped his arms around his lover as he slipped his hands under the suit coat, sliding it lie in a heap of imported wool and silk. His hands were under Brian’s shirt and his mouth on Brian’s throat.

 

“Why, thank you, Sunshine, it’s nice to see you, too.”

 

The shirt was unbuttoned, the tie on the floor in a colorful ribbon of silk.

 

“Now. I want you. Now.”

 

Seconds later they were naked on the bed, minutes after that Brian was inside and Justin was gripping his back as hard as he could, trying to get them closer, trying to merge the two of them, try to both make it last and make it happen right this moment. As they both came, Justin looked up at Brian’s face just above his own, seeing the expression and hearing the sounds that had both become a daily part of his life.

 

“And how was your day, dear?” Brian was still catching his breath, still on top of Justin, still inside of him.

 

“Fine, honey. Your mother stopped by to exchange recipes.”

 

Brian’s expression changed. Of course. He understood Justin’s mood now and his need.

 

“Justin—she’s…”

 

“She’s bullshit. And she’s not your family, I am and Deb and Michael and the girls and Gus. You have a family and they all love you. She’s just—she’s…”

 

He kissed Justin, quieting him. “She’s still my mother. She’s just not part of my family.” He kissed Justin again, gently, the way he liked it after they had made love. “You are.”

 

“And I’ll be here after she’s gone.”

 

Justin could feel Brian getting hard again inside of him.

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