Christmas Presents

Part 5

Brian

We hit the tree hard. The ice—I just couldn’t stop and then we were off the road and then—BLAM—we were against that tree and everything was quiet like everything was holding it’s breath.

The airbags had gone off and then the thing was just lying there in my lap. I turned to my right and—thank God—Justin was sitting there. He looked at me and at about the same time we both said, “Are you alright?”

I was and so was he.

Wear your seatbelt, OK? Just do it.

There were some lights and I heard some people crashing through the woods behind us to get to our car and then I heard them pounding on the windows, asking if we were OK. Shaken up, scared and we’d both be sore later, but we were ok.

Really—seatbelts, wear them.

The people outside had called 911 and the police and an ambulance showed up pretty quickly. Justin and I both walked away on our own power, climbed up the embankment, got into the ambulance, spent a few hours at the local emergency room and were both released with minor bruises requiring noting more than a few aspirin to take care of. I had a minor sprain in my left wrist and Justin had a minor cut to his knee.

A cab took us back to the Inn.

We were both OK.

 Shit.

Sometime in the middle of the night I woke up from this nightmare where I thought that Justin had been killed and I had just sat there in the wrecked car knowing that he was dead. I started crying. I just couldn’t help it but then I woke up for real and he was holding me and he was smoothing my hair and kissing me and thank God.

I held him the rest of the night and then in the morning I was afraid to let him out if my sight. It was like I had come so close to losing him—first to Ethan and then to a car wreck that I was afraid that if he left the room he might not come back.

I just wanted him next to me and I kept holding his hand or putting my arms around him. You know what? I think he felt the same way about me because he was acting the same way. We were both just so careful of one another after that. I think it was some kind of turning point for us. Somehow we both had a handle on how easily we could have lost it, just how close we had come and I think that was when we stopped taking any of it for granted.

It was odd, in a way. It was like the accident; knowing that we had almost lost one another, let us know what we had.

Alright, we know what we have—I think we always did know, but this really brought it home and it somehow broke down the barriers and let us be tender without embarrassment.

Odd how that worked.

And if I still talked to Father Tom’s boss, I think I’d thank him.

We finished out the rest of the week up in Vermont, mostly staying close to the Inn and one more day snowboarding, but I think we were still both too spooked to go out much after that.

It got better, though and after four or five days, we were almost ready to go home and face everyone.

I say almost—I mean, really—how the fuck do you prepare yourself for the family reunion that we knew would be waiting for us?

*          *          *

Justin

Brian has been so different since the accident—OK, not really different, just more, I don’t know—quiet and more thoughtful. It’s almost as if we were riding along and everything was going so great and then he—we—realized that it could have ended right there.

I think I might have an easier time with it than he’s having because I went through the bashing.

OK, I know. He went through it too, but I was the one who was hit in the head and so I really do understand that I can get killed.

That’s a weird thought, you know?

But it didn’t happen and I’m just too fucking happy to think about it any more.

This married stuff?

It’s so great that you can’t imagine it. Brian is gentle and kind to me and he loves me and I love him and he doesn’t care who knows it or sees it or anything.

Since the accident he hardly let’s me out of his sight and that’s OK with me. He almost treats me like I’m fragile, or maybe it’s that what we have is fragile and he wants to protect it with everything he’s got.

He holds my hand now, and he’ll walk up behind me and kiss my neck and all that romantic stuff that he used to snark at.

In bed he holds me all night. We always did sleep close together, but now he keeps his arms around me like he wants to make sure that I’m there and that I’m safe. If I get up or move it wakes him up until he knows that I’m alright.

I love him.

God, talk about your simple sentence that’s the most complicated thing in the world.

He likes it when I put my arms around him and kiss him right in front of anyone who’s around. It’s like we’ve accomplished something incredible just be being together.

I love his looks and his bod, his mind and his intelligence. I love his sense of humor and his snotty comebacks to people. I love that he’s so successful and so good at what he does. I love that he’s brave and won’t cave in to anyone. I love that he’s honest and says exactly what he thinks. I love that he loves me and that he loves me enough to marry me.

Does that sound twee?

I don’t fucking care. It’s true.

I love the idea that he loves me enough that he believes that we’ll be together for a really long time and that he wants to share his life with me.

I still can’t believe that he’s let down his walls—well, most of them—for me.

God, he’s amazing and this week he’s let me inside (oh, stop smirking) more that I think even he ever thought he would.

I’m just so fucking happy.

*          *          *

Debbie

Well, the asshole finally did it!

I couldn’t fucking believe my eyes!

We all went over to Jennifer’s place for a just a little after Christmas party and there we were at a wedding reception for Brian and Sunshine.

I never, in all my life ever though that Brian fucking Kinney would ever take that kind of a fall and ever go down the vows and gold rings road, but there the two of them were, standing with their arms around one another’s waists smiling and kissing and cooing like a couple of Goddamned turtle doves.

I walked right over to the two of them and at first I didn’t quite get that they had actually gotten married all legal like—so I was about to give Sunshine a kiss hello when I saw the ring on Brian’s finger.

In all the years I’ve known Brian, I’ve never seen him wear any kind of a ring and this one is pretty obvious—gold and right on his ring finger.

So, I pick up his hand and asked him, “What the fuck is this?”

Justin just started laughing and he had that big smile on his face and then he held up his hand, too, and told me that they had gotten married six days ago and that they had just come back from Vermont where they had been honeymooning.

So I just screamed and grabbed the two of them in a big hug which got everyone’s attention and I just sort of yelled out, “Hey, they did it, they’re fucking married!” Then I held up Justin’s hand to sort of prove it and everyone rushed on over and started asking questions and hugging and kissing and congratulating them, and then Jen brought out the champagne she’s gotten and it turned into this really terrific party with the two of them—OK, mostly Justin—telling us the whole blow by blow.

And you know what made me smile the most about the whole thing? The look on Brian’s face every time he looked over at Justin.

I’ve never seen that kid so happy, never; in all the years I’ve known him.

Every time I see that look on his face I want to cry, it make me so happy for him.

After all the crap he’s been through, it’s about time. The asshole.

*          *          *

Michael

When I got back from Portland Mom told me that she thought Brian might actually love Justin and damn if she wasn’t right.

I’m happy for him—OK, I guess for both of them—don’t get me wrong, but I’m sort of pissed at Brian.

I mean, here we’re supposed to be best friends and he plans this whole thing and goes off and married his twink—fucking MARRIES him, no less—and doesn’t say a Goddamned thing to me about it.

At the party at Jen’s I took him aside and he asked me what was bothering me, like he didn’t know, and I told him.

He got this sort of Brian look on his face and just said, “It was private, Mikey, just between us. Justin didn’t even know until a day or two before.”

I started to say something about how he could have told me and he just repeated that it was private between him and Justin. He didn’t say it nasty or anything, but he made it pretty clear that was that.

Shit.

I guess that he saw that I was hurt he hadn’t told me so he tried his old thing about how he loves me ‘always has, always will’, but it wasn’t the same.

I know, but it’s not the same.

*          *          *

Cynthia

I absolutely couldn’t believe it when he came back from the Christmas break with that ring on his finger.

I’d known for years that he and Justin were an item, well in an on/off sort of way, but I certainly never thought for one second that he’d actually go and get married and seem so damn happy about it on top of everything.

I was starting to get worried until about the fourth day back when he chewed a new one for one of the interns who had forgotten some trivial thing. I suspect that the real problem might have been that she had tried to flirt with Justin when he came in to meet Brian for lunch. The poor thing was last seen headed for the ladies room in tears.

When I started to say something to him about it he told me to fuck off.

You should have seen the look on Vance’s face when Human Resources told him that Brian had changed his medical benefits to include his spouse.

He walked right into Brian’s office offering his congratulations and hand shaking. He even brought in a couple of those noxious cigars he likes and started teasing Bri about how he always suspected that he wasn’t really gay, that it had all been some kind of put on. Then he was saying that Brian and the bride would have to have dinner with him and the third Mrs. Vance soon.

Brian had about enough of that pretty fast, so he just told Vance that he and Justin had gone up to Vermont because it was the closest place for same sex marriages. Oh, and yes, he really was gay, but dinner sounded great.

It was good to have him back.

*          *          *

Ethan

I saw Justin walking down the hall at PIFA and asked him if he might want to come with me to get a cup of coffee or something.

I don’t know what I was hoping for with that. I mean, I know we were over as far as he was concerned, but I thought that maybe he’d be willing to, I don’t know, maybe think about it or something.

I’d heard that he was back with Brian, no surprise, and I’d even seen them together once at the park with a little kid. I guess that it was probably the son Justin told me Brian had.

Shit. They looked like a picture perfect family.

There was Dad, tall and handsome with Justin, the little woman and the perfect baby on the swing set on a perfect fall day with the leaves falling. They even stopped to get the kid some ice cream.

He told me that he wanted romance; I guess that Kinney finally came through for him.

Anyway, he agreed to the coffee and we went over, got something to drink and sat down. I started to tell him about a concert date that had been lined up and that he might like to come. He was about to say something about it when his cel rang.

Kinney, of course.

His whole fucking expression changed. He got this look on his face like he was listening to God or something. He told Kinney that something sounded good and that he’d be there.

“What was that?”

“Brian’s boss wants us to have dinner with him and his wife tonight.”

“Why would you go to something like that?”

He told me, very matter of factly, that he and Brian had gotten married over Christmas and it was a dinner for the partners and their spouses. Then he showed me the ring on the hand he’d had in his pocket.

So. That was that.

I got up and went back to the rehearsal room.

*          *          *

Justin

I was sort of worried that after we got home and the excitement died down that it wouldn’t be as good as we had hoped that it would. You know, the honeymoon is over and it would become routine.

I was so fucking wrong.

It’s better.

Brian bought the place below us and the renovation is almost finished. There’s a studio for me to use and a room for Gus. There’s even enough room so that Brian and I can get away from one another when one of us wants to be alone. I never thought that would be a problem—wanting time to myself—but it’s a good thing once in a while.

Brian and I decided that we would redesign the loft together so that it would be ours, not just his and I had moved in. It’ll be awesome when it’s done.

The family has all come around. I think that even Michael will be alright when he really gets a handle on the fact that I know that he and Brian are friends and that it’s OK. Deb practically beams when she sees us—I think we’ve become her new poster children for Gay Family Life.

It’s a little embarrassing.

Mom is happy for us and we see her every few weeks. Molly likes to show Brian off to her friends and I think he gets a kick out of it. He pisses and moans enough for him to be enjoying it.

Craig and Joan were told about us being married, but we haven’t heard from either of them. Brian told me that he’d heard from Father Tom that Joan prays for us to seek salvation.

Whatever.

It bothers Brian, but he’s resigned to it, I guess.

I’d still like to be able to talk to my Dad, but I don’t think that will be anytime soon.

Brian is, as he would say, fabulous. The most fabulous fag in Pittsburgh.

God, I love him.

Knowing that every night he’s going to be there, holding me and making all the bullshit fade away—all the day-to-day crap doesn’t matter as much as it used to.

He’s been promoted to senior partner. I think Vance is afraid that he’ll break away and form his own agency. He’s thinking about it, but he wants to build up some money before he does that. That’s OK.

I graduate from PIFA in a few months and I’ve gotten few job offers to sort through. It’s weird. I’d feel strange working at Vanguard and I don’t think Brian would really like it, so I’ve ruled it out. It would seem too much like nepotism. Working at another agency would be strange, too—in a way I’d be in competition with Brian. I said something to him about it and he told me not to be a twat. I had to work somewhere, he wasn’t about to be my sugar daddy and I still owe him all my tuition money.

He was going to forgive the loan as a wedding present, but I refused. A deal is a deal.

Besides, I told him that I’d rather have that trip to Italy Em had to renege on.

So, that’s what we’re doing this summer.

It’s all working out, better than I’d hoped, in fact.

The look on his face in the morning when we wake up together—it sums everything up.

I love him. 

The End.