New Account

Part 4

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They stayed in the Jacuzzi for a while, kissing mostly, and Brian remembered that Keith was the one who had taught him to love it as much as he did. It was an art form with him, a passion, a hobby and a favorite pastime. He was good at it, he was an expert and Brian had been his first and best student.

They kissed, open mouthed and close mouthed. They nuzzled one another's necks and throats. Keith kissed Brian's eyelids and cheeks, behind his ears and the back of his neck.

Their hands began a slow exploration of one another's chests and backs, sliding smoothly in the warm water. The last time that they had done anything like this together they had been youngsters, despite their beliefs to the contrary. It was all new to them—or mostly, at any rate—and they had reveled in the new sensations with one another.

Now they were adults, grown men who knew what they were doing, had become experienced in pleasing both themselves and their partners and this was added to the fact that both of them remembered what had pleased the other fifteen years ago.

Back then they hadn't been nearly as accomplished as they both were now, they hadn't really understood what their bodies were capable of doing and feeling, they had simply known that it had felt right and it had felt good and they didn't want to stop. The fact that they'd had to hide their attraction to one another then, that they couldn't show anything beyond simple friendship and the comradie of teammates made it all the more exciting, all the more delicious.

Keith mouthed and tongued Brian's throat, moving down to his nipples and laughing slightly at the old reaction that he had always looked forward to causing—the gasps and the slight moans.

Latching onto a tit he laughed to himself at the shudder that he felt going through Brian's still slender body—God, he'd kept himself in good shape, he could feel the ripples of the muscles, the taunt skin under his hands.

Even after all the time that had gone by since they'd seen one another, Brian was still one of the most beautiful men he'd ever seen.

There were, he thought idly as he stroked his finger tips across Brian's face, men who were, in fact, more handsome, better built. There were even men who might be more accomplished lovers, but he had never met one who combined the striking looks with the sharp intelligence, who had the toned body and the drive to succeed—and the unbreakable sense of honor that Brian all had in spades. And the fact that he was gay and loved sex as much as Keith did—well, those were icing on the cake.

He was still amazing, still unique and Keith still desired him as much as he had that first time he laid eyes on him as a teenager on the high school field.

Then he had been all tall gangling legs and arms, skinny instead of slender, shyness hiding behind a façade of cool instead of the graceful, confident man he'd become.

Then he had been a good-looking boy, now he was a stunningly handsome man.

Then he had a fierce natural intelligence and insight that he used to protect himself, now he was a sophisticated and educated man who wielded his mind like an effective tool.

Then he had been terrified, frightened that someone would discover that his home life was a Hell of abuse and neglect. Now he was a devoted, if slightly distant father.

Back then he had been desperate for approval, acceptance and to be loved. Now he had—a choice.

Brian pulled slightly away, keeping them still in full body contact, but looking at Keith with an expression on his face that Keith didn't think he'd seen before.

"What? Do you want to stop?"

Brian snorted out a quick laugh. "I was just thinking that it's like riding a bike—there are some things that you don't forget."

"You've been with a lot of men, haven't you?"

Brian looked surprised at the question. He had, sure, but—it was none of Keith's business.

He pulled back about a foot. "Do you care?" His old defenses were back in place. He sensed a criticism and was ready to deflect it.

Keith chose his words. "It only matters because I think I might have had something to do with that."

Brian sat back down on his side of the large tub. "What the fuck are you talking about"?

Another short pause. "I think that you might have become promiscuous because I hurt you. I think you may have used sex to keep people at arms length after I threw you out."

"…I think you've been listening to your shrink wife too much. And how the fuck do you know whether or not I'm promiscuous?"

"Some old friends back in Pittsburgh talked to me so I checked out what they had to say…Hey, Bri, shit, I wasn't criticizing you. I don't care about that. It's just that I was worried about you getting sick or something, that's all. In fact I was glad when you and Justin got back together because it meant that you'd...well, that you'd cut back on that sort of thing. I just didn't want anything to happen to you."

Brian stood up abruptly, obviously annoyed. "I've been in here too long." Keith wondered if he was referring to the Jacuzzi.

He got out, going over to the pool and diving in, swam a couple of laps before climbing out, wrapping a towel around his waist and excusing himself to go change. He walked into the house, his laptop under his arm.

Up in the guest room he stripped off the towel and the bathing suit, taking a quick shower, which also gave him the excuse to run his hands over his body to achieve the release that he hadn't gotten with Keith. Fifteen minutes later he was pulling on a pair of jeans and a black wife beater and picking up his cel to call Justin.

"Hey."

"Hey…is it still snowing?"

"You haven't seen the news? It's still snowing like a bitch here. I'm still stuck at my Mom's and the power is threatening to go out. Molly and I just spent half an hour bringing all the damn logs in from out back for the fireplace in case the electricity goes out and I got a Goddamned splinter."

Brian smiled at the woebegone sound of Justin's voice. "So I shouldn't tell you that I just spent the afternoon by the pool and in the Jacuzzi?"

"God, Brian, fuck you."

"Have you heard from anyone else? I haven't called them yet."

"Michael and Ben went over to Deb's and they're OK and the girl's have Gus at Lindsay's parents house because they're furnace died. They said that they're alright there for a day or two. Everyone is OK."

"…I'm sorry that you're stuck there dealing with all of that."

"It's alright…how are you doing? How did the presentation go this morning?"

"Fine, it went well. They all liked it." That was one of the least Brian-like comments Justin had ever heard. What the fuck was going on?

"Brian? Are you alright out there? Is something going on?"

"It's fine. It's just that…I don't know, I just don't want to be here, I guess."

Shit, something was going on. "That CEO, what was his name? Keith? The one you're staying with. Is he an asshole or something?"

"He's…Keith is, we sort of know each other."

Fuck, he knew it. Keith was an old trick or something. Shit. "You know him?"

"We were in high school together."

Yeah, uh-huh, and…? "Were you friends or something? Did you hate each other?"

Christ, he didn't want to do this on the phone, but he had to tell Justin, he needed Justin to know that he didn't want to do this with Keith. He knew Justin had figured out that something was going on and he had to know that he didn't want to do this.

"We were friends. He was captain of the soccer team when I was a freshman."

"Weren't you on the team when you were a freshman?" Michael had told Justin about that when he had found the old yearbooks up in Michael's old bedroom. He hadn't mentioned Keith, though.

"Yes."

"Brian?"

"He was my first boyfriend." Jesus, this was hard. Justin…he didn't want Justin to be hurt by this bullshit.

Holy fuck. "You had a boyfriend in high school?"

OK, take a deep breath. "He was a senior, I was a freshman. He took me under his wing as soon as he realized that I was gay, which was pretty quick, maybe three days after school started. We started seeing each other and then we, we became a couple."

"You were out in high school? Shit, Brian…I thought that you didn't really tell anyone until college or something."

"It was quiet, no one knew. We dated all year until at the very end, like the last week of the school year, someone walked in on us so Keith dropped me to keep the secret. We pretended that it was a one time thing, that I had made a pass at him at a party—I guess the others thought I was drunk or something."

"What a prick." Brian could hear the indignation in Justin's voice—that anyone would dare to dump Brian—or even want to. He smiled at the mental picture.

"No, you don't understand. He did it because I had three years to go in the school after he left. He did it to protect me so I'd have an easier time of it."

"…You mean he pushed you off the fucking cliff? And I'll bet that he didn't tell you what he was doing, right?" Justin was probably shaking his head. "So that's where you learned that."

"Yeah." The kid was too fucking smart.

"…And now he wants you back, is that it?"

"Yeah, he does." Brian could hear the hitch in Justin's voice.

"So what do you want?"

"You."

There was a sound, a note to Justin's voice somewhere between laughter and crying. "Really?"

"Twat…Yes, really."

"…Do you have to stay at his house? Could you move to a hotel or something?" Brian had thought the same thing. "Is he making a pass at you or something?" That Justin defense mechanism was kicking in.

"He tried, I wasn't interested." No reason for Justin to know about the Jacuzzi, it would just upset him.

"Doesn't he know that we're together? I mean, I thought that he knew."

Cut to the chase. "He knows. He thinks that after we, as he put it, `run our course', he'll be waiting."

The worried voice was back. "…Is that what you think?"

"You know what I think, Justin."

"Tell me anyway."

"…You know."

The disappointment was obvious, even from three thousand miles. "Yeah. I know."

"Justin, come on, you know—don't do this, OK?"

There was some talking in the background on the other end as though Justin was covering the mouthpiece. Then, "Brian? Mom wants me to get the fire started; she thinks the furnace has conked out. I have to go."

"Justin, I'll be home as soon as I can. I'm finished here," They both flashed to the conversation from almost two years ago…'and when I come home it's because I'll be doing exactly what I want to do—coming home to you.'

They understood one another.

"Later."

"Later."

Justin cut the connection and turned to get the fire laid for Jennifer. It was getting colder by the minute in the large room; it was only about twenty outside with the wind blowing.

"Justin? Sweetheart? Is Brian alright?"

"He's stuck in California." His mood was a combination of foul and sad.

"…Isn't it going well? He's there to get some account, isn't he? Are there problems other than the weather?"

Justin was watching the small flames starting to catch on the newspaper and the kindling. "He seems to be doing just fine."

In California Brian was sitting on the guestroom bed when Keith walked in without knocking. "Bri? Look, I think maybe you weren't ready for what happened downstairs—I'm sorry."

Brian didn't answer.

"I won't do anything you don't want—remember? I told you that before. It still stands."

"Keith, I'm hungry. Why don't we get some dinner?"

Whatever Keith expected, that wasn't it. "…Sure, whatever you want. I'll tell Patty to get ready."

"No, let's just go."

"Are we going to clear the air or something?"

"I think so, yeah."

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