New Account

Part 3

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Keith called Patty to come pick up Brian from the office, explaining that he would be staying another day or two because of the storm in the east. She was there in about half an hour.

The ride back to the house was slightly strained and Brian wondered, not for the first time, how she really felt about the awkward situation. He wasn't really buying that she was as cool about the whole thing as Keith was insisting. Bullshit to that.

After a polite lunch that involved little more than small talk, Brian tracked Gardner down to his home where he was unable to get out of his own driveway. He was happy to hear that the meetings had gone well, that the account was solid and understood that Brian couldn't get back when planned.

It was agreed that since he was out in California anyway, he and Keith might as well try to get the first series of ads largely put to bed, at least the main body of them. When Brian got back to Pittsburgh they could put the finishing touches on things.

Taking his briefcase with him after changing into a bathing suit to take advantage of the perfect weather they were having—a relatively modest one—he settled by the pool to flesh out some copy.

About forty-five minutes after he got started he looked up when a shadow fell across his work.

"I thought that you could use something to drink." Patty handed him a glass of iced tea, taking the seat next to him and putting her own drink on the table between them. It was the same chairs that he and Keith had sat in last night.

"Thanks." He looked at her expectantly as she seemed to regard him.

She cut right to the chase. "Keith told me that you two were talking last night. You know that he's still in love with you, don't you?"

Fuckaduck. Well, it was inevitable, might as well get it out of the way.

"I know that he claimed to be in love with me when he was seventeen years old. He doesn't know me now."

She seemed ready to dismiss that argument out of hand. "Sure he does, Brian. He knows all sorts of things about you. He knows that you're intelligent, that you're successful in your work—he was telling me how impressed he was by you—he knows that you're a remarkably handsome man, he knows that you still care about him."

"That's just a resume. He doesn't know anything about me."

"He found out that you were fired for sabotaging a client's election campaign then rehired a few months later and he knows why you did it—in fact that was what made him contact you, that you were willing to throw away your career on something like that. He told me that was the sort of thing you'd have done back in high school—stand up to bullies and bigots. He knows that you were given an award for courage for saving that boy's life—and he knows that you think that you're in love with that young man you live with."

He wasn't going to get into that with this woman. Shit.

"And he knows that you two still have chemistry together. I've seen that myself, so there's no point in trying to deny that one." She was smiling at him. What the hell was she after?

"You've listed more resume points, you know shit about me. I'm happy with Justin and I resent this crap that you two seem to have come up with to put us together."

She gave him another look, ignoring his glare. "No, you're flattered that he's still thinking about you and that he's pursuing you. You're annoyed because you think that he's trying to manipulate you by tossing his account to your company and having you come out here for that presentation you gave today."

"Whatever. And just where do you see Justin in all of this? Did you really think that I'd just toss him out and throw myself into Keith's arms?"

She answered him honestly. "I don't know Justin, but I would assume that for you to be this involved with him he must be exceptional, despite his age."

"…Thank you."

"I also think that simply because of the age and maturity differences, and the disparity of where you both are in your careers that you'll start to grow apart fairly soon, certainly within the next year or so…maybe when he graduates from school and starts on a new phase of his life. At the very least, you'll probably have a lot of conflict in the next few years if you stay together."

"You sound pretty sure of yourself for barely knowing me and for not even having met Justin."

"I'm usually pretty good at people issues."

He put down his laptop, closing the lid. OK, of course. "You're a shrink?"

"You're quick, Keith was right about that. PhD in psychology from Berkeley. I teach at Occidental and practice at Cedars."

"So is that why I'm here, so that you could give Keith your take on me?"

She smiled, caught. "That's part of it. He really did want you to make the presentation, though, and he wanted you to see his company. That's all on the up and up." She saw the expression on his face. "He wouldn't have given you the account of he didn't think you'd do a good job. Multitech is important to him, he won't jeopardize it for anyone."

He sighed. Christ, this just kept getting better and better. "So after having met me and seen me with Keith, what's your analysis, Doc?"

She sipped her tea while she formulated her answer, it took a moment. "I think that you and Keith would compliment each other remarkably well. You're similar in intelligence, ambition, attitudes and even politics. You're close enough in age that you could grow into the different stages of life together with a minimum of conflict. In addition to that, you have a history together and deep feelings that are still strong in both of you. You even have a similar level of physical attractiveness." She seemed almost wistful. "I think you two would be perfect together."

Jesus. "And you two think I'll dump Justin after hearing this?"

She looked startled. "No, of course not." She took another drink of tea. "I think you're probably angry and feeling that you've been set up and you'd be partially right. You'll probably go back to Pittsburgh and wish we would drop dead."

"Excuse me?" That wasn't the answer he expected.

"Oh, absolutely. But in a year or two you and Justin will start having serious problems, or you very well could be, and then you'll start thinking about Keith—he loves you very deeply, you know. He never really stopped." A phone started ringing in the house, she stood up to answer it. "He'll wait for you."

Putting his laptop on the table, he got up, himself and took a running dive into the pool, swimming off his anger and frustration churning through fast laps for twenty minutes. After, winded, he hung on the edge of the pool before pulling himself out and settling in the attached Jacuzzi.

What a Goddamned, fucking mess.

As he sat there, surrounded by the elaborate rose garden that was, he had learned at dinner the night before, on of Patty's passions, his mind started drifting. He was still tired fro the lack of sleep the night before and the swim had tired him out more that he would have thought. He started thinking back to what he and Keith had together when he was fourteen years old.

Keith had saved him, at least for a while; from the pit he knew he was falling into. Keith had befriended him, loved him. He had protected him from the other students and his own parents. He had given Brian a safe haven away from the nightmare of his own home. He had cared about, treated him with gentleness, kindness. He had introduced him not just to sex, but also to closeness between two people—a concept that Brian had no real idea of until then. They had been friends, brothers, lovers.

Keith had given him the confidence that had allowed him to bull his way through the rest of his life.

Even when Keith had thrown him out, even then, he had done it for his own good.  When he had refused Brian's calls and broken his heart so badly that it would take fifteen years and Justin before he was able—kicking and screaming—to begin to love anyone again the way he had loved Keith.

No—that was wrong.

He didn't love Justin the way he had loved Keith.

Keith had been older, a mentor, a strong shoulder for him to lean on. His family had taken Brian in, almost adopted him as one of their own. He had been an abused child in need then, desperate for someone to tell him that he had value and worth. Keith and his family had given what he needed.

And Keith had loved him. That was the other thing that had been missing in Brian's life. Keith loved him, touched him and kissed him. Keith would hold him and take his hand and put his arm around him in a movie. Keith would let him know that he had value, that his thoughts and ideas mattered Keith was the one who made him understand that being gay was alright, that he wasn't a freak or damn.

Keith had validated him.

If he had never met Keith, Brian knew that he would have likely gone down the road and never found his way back.

He was a likely candidate for suicide back then when the darkness would crowd in and he had no one he could even talk to.

Deb and Mikey were there, yes, but they didn't know how…

Keith knew how to reach him right from the start. Deb learned later.

It was years later, while going through Jack's papers, that he had found the letter from Keith's father countersigned by the head of Allegheny General's legal staff and notarized. It was a warning that the hospital suspected that Mr. Kinney's son was an ongoing victim of child abuse, dating back almost a decade and a half. They had registered this belief with Child Services and should there be any more admissions to any area medical facility, an investigation would be launched.

Brian remembered that time. He remembered the arguments between his parents with his mother telling his father that it had to stop now, Damnit, or there would be hell to pay.

It had mostly stopped then. Brian only learned a couple of years ago that Keith's father had been the main reason. He had picked up the phone to thank the man and had learned that Dr. White had retired several years before and moved out of state. Not knowing where he had relocated, Brian had let the matter drop.

With Justin the roles had been reversed.

Justin looked up to him as the mentor and tutor now. Now Brian was the adult offering a safe haven and a caring home. Brian was the one who protected Justin from Craig. Brian was the one who paid the tuition, footed the bills.

Brian was the one who had helped after the bashing, feeling bashed himself. He was the father now, with not only Justin but also Gus depending on him.

A memory flashed in his mind of the first year he and Justin were together, when he was still in high school, of telling the boy to study, do his homework, pick up his shit, get up for school.

Then in the second year, after the bashing, of helping Justin with the computer, lending him money for school, running interference with Jennifer…and of being left for Ethan and his heart breaking again, as badly as it did with Keith.

Then this year, after Justin had come back to him stronger, older, more a man than a boy who still wanted to know that Brian would be there as his safety net.

Brian was the strong shoulder now.

Part of him wanted to be able to lean on someone again.

What a mess.

What a Goddamned, fucking mess.

"Would you mind some company?"

Startled, he looked up; he hadn't heard Keith approach over the sound of the swirling water.

He smiled a welcome. "You quit work early. It's only three."

"You impressed everyone today. I knew that you would." Stepping into the water, he took a seat on the far side. They didn't touch. "I wanted to see if you're alright."

Brian almost played dumb by asking him what he meant, but thought it would be a waste of time. "I'm fine. Patty gave me her take on things a little while ago."

"…Are you angry?" Brian hesitated. In fact, he didn't know what he felt at that moment. "Look, I'm almost thirty-five years old. I just want to…I want…I think that we could still be good and I don't want to throw it away."

"Look, Keith…"

"I know, not now, but when you're ready. I won't push you." He gave a small smile. "I told you that when you were fourteen, remember? I waited then, I can wait now…when you're ready, Bri, not before." He added, almost as an afterthought, "No one wants to be alone."

They sat in a companionable silence for a few minutes before Brian shifted and rose to his feet, the warm water still swirling around him waist high.

Thinking he was just getting out, Keith was surprised when Brian put his hand on his chin, raised it and kissed his mouth.

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