Leave

The young maid opened the door to the main bedroom, startled to see someone actually asleep in the large canopied bed that dominated the room. The master wasn't home, she was sure of that, so who on earth was there?

Afraid to confront a stranger, she quietly backed out of the room in search of the housekeeper. Perhaps she would have an idea as to who it was. She certainly would have a better idea about what to do about him, that's for sure!

"Ma'm, ma'm. Please, excuse me, but you must see for yourself! There's a man sleeping in the main bedroom, and it's not the master. What should we do about him?"

Climbing the stairs up to the upper floor, Mrs. Conroy silently opened the offending door, peered in and just as silently closed it again.

"That's Lieutenant Hornblower. He's a friend of the Captain's who stays here when he's in port. You treat him just as you would the master, you hear me girl? He's a lovely man and a special friend, so you treat him right, or I'll know why not."

"How did he get in here? I didn't hear anyone ring the bell last night and normally it wakes me when it goes off so late."

"The Lieutenant has his own key. That way if he gets here very late he doesn't bother anyone, just let's himself in. He's very thoughtful about things like that. Now, if I know him, he'll be awake in a bit and you're to see that he has some hot water and clean towels. And be sure to tell Cook that he'll be wanting some breakfast probably in about an hour and to expect the call. She knows what he likes to eat, but be sure to tell her to have some coffee made fresh for him. Off you go, girl!"

About a half an hour later the young maid was carrying a pitcher of hot water and some towels into the master bedroom as quietly as she could when she looked over to see the strange man watching her from under the covers. "Good morning, sir." She bobbed him a curtsey. Lord, he was the most handsome man she'd ever seen in her whole life!

"Good morning, miss. I don't believe that I've had the pleasure of making your acquaintance. I'm Horatio Hornblower, whom might you be?"

"I'm Sarah, sir. I'm new here, y'see. Just started about a month ago. I've brought you some hot water and the clean towels are over by the washstand."

"Thank you, Sarah, that's very good of you."

"Oh, and Cook says that she has breakfast ready when you come downstairs."

"Thank you."

"Is there anything else, sir?" Cor, he was good looking! He had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen.

"I think that I'd like to get up now."

"Oh, alright, sir." She continued to stand by the end of the bed, looking at him.

"Sarah, I'm not wearing any clothing."

Her eyes went wide, her face went red and she ran from the room, closing the door behind her.

Laughing to himself, he rose, slipped into the dressing gown that was always kept behind the door for him, proceeding on to wash, shave and finally dress in comfortable shore clothing. After spending months on end wearing nothing but Navy blue, it was a small shock to see himself reflected back in the looking glass wearing gray trousers and a light blue shirt. He shoved his feet into a pair of slippers and made his way down to the dining room.

A place was set for him next to which was the daily newspaper, the latest copy of the Navy Chronicle and a small stack of personal mail that had accumulated for him. Almost immediately after seating himself, the door opened and the butler walked in with his breakfast.

"It's good to have you back with us, Lieutenant."

"Thank you, Preston. It's good to be here. Have you any idea if the Commodore is expected at any point?"

"Within the week, sir. Any day now really, depending on the weather, as always. How long, if I might ask, sir, will we have the pleasure of your being with us?"

"I'm not sure, exactly. I've a three-week leave and no real plans yet. Certainly I'd like to see the Commodore when he arrives. I'd not want to inconvenience anyone if you were expecting to be elsewhere. Sir Edward was planning to come to Portsmouth, wasn't he? Instead of London or the cottage?"

"Oh, yes, sir. Please, sir, you know that it's no problem to have you here, goodness! Don't you trouble yourself about that, now. You've the maids in a flutter just by walking in the door, you know that, sir."

Horatio laughed at the old joke. They both knew that the maids stood no chance with him.

"Is breakfast satisfactory, sir? Is there anything else that you might enjoy?"

"No, thank you Preston, everything is perfect as always. Please tell Cook that I dream of her meals when I'm two or three months at sea." Smiling and with a small bow, the butler left. Horatio proceeded to work his way through his mail, none of it too interesting.

There were several letters from his father asking when he would be able to visit his old home, as usual and two from Kitty Cobham, always entertaining. Nothing of any real importance, though. He turned his attention to the newspaper. War news, mainly and a story about a drought that would adversely affect the crops if there wasn't more rain. He scanned the Navy Chronicle, noting that several of his old shipmates were among the lost. Hether had been killed on a raiding party in France and a sniper had shot Roberts during a boarding in the Med. He idly wondered if any of his old shipmates would be reading of his death someday whilst seated at their own breakfasts. Well, perhaps. It was a risk of the trade. He should really write to their families, they would probably want to hear some good words about the men who were lost. And he really had little else to do for a few days, it appeared.

So several days passed quietly. Horatio wrote letters and read, stayed in and really wanted to see no one. He savored the quiet and the solitude, so rare on shipboard. His smallest whim was met almost before he had a chance to express the slightest desire, be it for a bath or another log on the fire. Sarah paid special attention to his needs, practically hovering over him most of the time. His favorite foods appeared every mealtime like magic conjured by a genie. On the fourth day of his leave he was sitting in the study with a copy of the Iliad when he heard the front door open and the sound of someone in the front hallway. He looked up expectantly as the study door opened. Commodore Sir Edward Pellew walked into the room, pulling the door closed behind him. Quickly placing the book on the table next to him, Horatio rose and crossed the room, slipping his arms around the older man.

"Edward, eight months! I've missed you so terribly." He caressed the weather worn cheek. "You look wonderful." A smile broke out on Hornblower's face, mirroring the one on the older man. "So very wonderful."

"I saw Renown anchored when we arrived, I was hoping that you would be here to greet me when I walked in the door. I've missed holding you, love."

Their mouths met gently and then with increasing pressure as they relearned the tastes and feelings of each other. Finally breaking the kiss, Horatio said, "It's a warm day, let me", as he helped the Commodore off with his heavy coat. It was carefully placed on the chair next to the door. Taking the older man's hand he led him over to the couch, seating him and then going to the sideboard to get them each a small glass of port.

"Lunch will be on the table soon, but we have a few minutes."

He sat next to Edward as he handed him the glass, caressing his hand as he did so. Horatio's hand moved up to Edwards's cheek and then down to his neck. They both laughed quietly.

"Forgive me, it's been so long that I can hardly believe you're here where I can actually touch you. You'd think that I'd have the self restraint to respect the person of a Commodore in his own home, for God's sake."

Grasping Horatio's hand and slowly running his tongue over the palm and then up to each finger in turn, Edward replied, "Yes, you really need to learn restraint, Lieutenant. I believe that you could face a Court Martial for such assaults upon myself."

Eyes barely able to contain the lust and passion they had both been forced to ignore for too many months, Horatio answered, "I'll accept whatever punishment you deem proper under the circumstances. Might I suggest that you're undoubtedly tired after your recent assignment and may be in need of rest this afternoon? ."

"Thank you, yes, I think that you might be right about that, perhaps spending the rest of the day lying down would be a good idea, sir."

Knowing smiles exchanged and an agreement made, they went into the dining room, making short work of the cook's efforts. "I should warn you that you've a new maid who may well be shocked should she happen to walk in at an inappropriate moment"

"Well, then, we'll be sure to lock the door."

Several hours later, embracing in the large bed that Horatio had been occupying alone since his arrival, they finally were able to actually talk about the last few months when they had been parted.

"There have been rumors about Renown, Horatio. Is there anything that you would like to discuss with me?"

Horatio settled back against the pillows on his own side of the bed, his face turned to Edward. "What sorts of rumors have been circulating?"

Edward turned on is side, his head up on his hand, his look one that demanded answers. "I've heard that James Sawyer is no longer capable of command. Is that true?"

"Am I speaking to Edward or Commander Pellew?"

"So it's true, then?"

"He is…unpredictable."

"Is he dangerous?"

"He is…inconsistent."

Edward looked at Horatio for a long moment, knowing that the young man would be loyal to his Captain simply because of their positions and Horatio's feelings of propriety.

"If you were to make an evaluation, would you judge him to be able to maintain discipline and control over his vessel? Is he able to carry out his orders?"

Horatio looked distinctly uncomfortable, obviously unwilling to answer.

"Horatio, I need to know your thoughts on this matter, not as my lover or as my friend or even as a former shipmate of mine. Sawyer is in command of one of His Majesty's ships of the line. He has over seven hundred men in his charge; their lives and yours are in his hands. I ask you as an officer who has served under him for two years now. Is the man fit to command?"

Horatio looked at him, uncomfortable, "No."

"On what grounds?"

"Edward, he is mad."

"That's a strong assessment. Mad how?"

Reluctantly, he answered. "I fear he believes that his own officers are in conspiracy against him. He sometimes seems almost as though he would relish death as a release from whatever demons torment him."

The Commodore asked, "You've seen this with your own eyes?"

He nodded. "I swear that it's true, Edward. He's beyond reason. I fear for the safety of the ship."

"You'd swear this to the Admiralty?"

Horatio looked at him in horror. "You would ask me to give evidence against my Captain, Edward? You know that I could not…"

"Horatio, if he is as you say, you must do so for the good of the ship and the service. Think of the men who sail on her. They are in danger with him if he is as mad as you think."

"I know that, but he's my Captain, and …."

"And you are an officer of His Majesty, sworn to do your duty to the Navy and the Crown."

Horatio sat up, swinging his legs over the side of their bed and stood. Naked he walked over to the table that held a decanter of aged whiskey. Usually one not to drink, he poured himself a small glass and, almost as an afterthought, poured a second glass for Edward. Walking back to Edward's side of the bed and sitting on the edge of the mattress he handed over the extra glass.

"Please don't ask me to do this."

"Now are you asking me as Edward or as Commodore?"

"Whichever one will give me the answer I wish to hear."

"I doubt if either one will do that. You have a duty. You know that as well as I."

"He's a hero, a man who has earned every honor ever granted him. He's spent his life in service of his country."

"None of that is in question or even the point. If he's a danger, he must be stopped before he does harm."

"Is there no way that the Admiralty, even an informal meeting, could determine his state of mind?"

"They've tried that. He's been before several of the Lord Admiral's staff, informally of course. There is no basis under which to do any more than that at this point."

"And what did they determine after speaking with him?"

"Their opinions were mixed. Several felt that he was as sane as you or me. Several others felt that he should be placed in another, less critical assignment."

"Were you one of the officers who met with him, Edward?"

"Yes, I was there."

"And?"

"I can't speak of it. It's been classified secret. I'm sorry, Horatio."

Horatio looked at Edward while he sipped his drink and quietly said, "I see. And would my opinion make any difference?"

"I honestly don't know. But you must realize that you put yourself in jeopardy if you speak against him and the decision is made to retain him in his current position."

"I'd be just another disgruntled lieutenant, disloyal to his Captain."

"Yes, there is that risk."

"And if I don't speak, I might very well be killed with the rest of the crew through his madness."

"Yes, the proverbial rock and a hard place." Horatio seemed uncertain as to what to say in response.

Edward continued, "Admiral Cornwallis is expected for dinner this evening. Oh, don't look so alarmed, he and I are old friends, we often dine together when we're in the same port. This is the obvious time for you to state your concerns, if you're willing to do so."

"Have you told him that I'll be attending?"

"Yes, he knows that we served together and you are known to be a favorite of mine."

Horatio fixed him with a look. "Does he know anything beyond that?"

"No. We're friends, no more. He knows nothing about my-our preferences in such matters. It's not an issue this evening. He only wants to hear your opinion about Sawyer."

"Is tonight official or off the record?"

"It's a private dinner between friends."

Horatio let out a long breath and after a moment took Edward's hand. "I'm damned if I speak and damned if I stay silent." He looked at Pellew and sighed. "God, I thought that I'd get away from Renown by coming here."

Edward looked at him steadily, faint amusement on his face. "Did you?"

++++++++++++++++++++

At exactly seven that evening the Preston answered the knock on the front door to admit the Admiral…accompanied by Captain James Sawyer.

They were shown into the study where Edward and Horatio were waiting, the surprise on their faces quickly hidden at the appearance of Sawyer.

"Edward, you know James Sawyer, of course. We were in a meeting and I didn't think you'd mind my bringing him along."

"No, of course not, glad that you did so, in fact. It's good to see you again so soon, James."

"Thank you, Sir Edward, it's good of you to allow me to impose myself on your hospitality like this. The Admiral and I didn't realize how long we were talking, I fear. Lieutenant! What a pleasant surprise to see you here this evening. But, of course…you served with the Commodore on Indefatigable for several years, did you not?"

"Yes, I did indeed, sir. It's good of you to remember."

"Still on good terms, I see. It's always preferable when officers can remain friends after they leave each other's immediate service. Don't you think so, Admiral?"

He was, of course, invited to stay for dinner and an extra place was set.

The meal, as always, was excellent and the conversation unremarkable. Sawyer was the epitome of a gracious guest, friendly and his conversation was amusing and witty. He was in fine form, no doubt about that. Horatio went through the dinner with a sinking feeling, knowing that the others would have no reason to believe that the man was insane. He knew with certainty that his opinion would now not be given to the Admirals and that if he were foolish enough to go ahead and do so anyway, he would simply be branded a malcontent.

There was nothing for it. He would be back on Renown under Sawyer when the leave ended.

At the end of the meal and after the brandy and cards, as the guests were preparing to say their goodbyes, Sawyer turned to Horatio and asked, "So where are you staying this leave? In town at one of the inns?"

"No, I'm staying with a friend this time, sir."

"Ah, always more pleasant than alone or with strangers. Enjoy the rest of your free time, Lieutenant."

"Thank you, sir. I shall try to do so."

"Very well, I shall see you back aboard Renown in a fortnight then, Mr. Hornblower."

"You shall, sir." Sarah appeared with the two guests' hats, handing them to their owners.

"Sir Edward, I thank you again for a most pleasant evening. Lieutenant, can we drop you somewhere?"

"Thank you, sir, no. I'm staying quite close by."

"The pleasure was mine, sir. Admiral, good evening." The door was closed as they left.

Horatio turned to look at Edward. Saying nothing, he just shook his head at what they both knew. Sawyer would retain his command. There would be no more inquiry, informal or otherwise. The issue was closed.

Renown would sail as planned. James Sawyer would remain as her Captain.

Edward put his hand to Horatio's cheek, cupping his jaw and neck. Looking at him closely, for the first time since they had known each other, he saw despair on his face.

5/18/02

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