File Stealing

Part Six

“Calm down, Bruce All I’m saying is that if you want the JLA to help, you know we’re here for you.”

He took a beat to breathe before snapping out a retort. “I know that, thanks Clark, but we’re handling it for now.”

Clark scanned the latest blogs and tabloids, doubtful. This looked like it was headed to some kind of climax and he wasn’t convinced the Batclan had it as controlled, as Bruce seemed to believe. He’d keep an eye on this; if Batman and Robin’s identities were exposed it put the League in the same danger through association, as well as the rest of the Titans. If the kids were known, then it could easily lead to their mentors and then things would get complicated.

“Fine, but we’re watching this.”

Bruce didn’t say anything as Clark left.

‘So we understand that the younguns are all oh so dedicated to the path of the good and righteous, but we’d like to just take a peek at the paths which has lead them there.

First of all, our little birdie has let us know that leader-lad Robin came to embrace this part of his young life due to the loss of his family—tragic and we mean that, honeybuns.

Kiddie Flash? As we are to understand, he’s following in the family business, as it were, if you get our drift.

Speedy? A bit of a bumpy path—not sure how he hooked up with the big bad Green Arrowman but we all know that hasn’t been all sweetness and light if those nasty drug rumors are to be believed and we think they are.

Wonder Girl? Not sure, but wouldn’t you leave a secluded island filled with just the fairer sex if you decided you liked a good strong man in your life? We know we would!

And the Aquababy…wellwellwell, who knows what’s going on with that or why but I don’t get the feeling Mr. Aquaman is exactly what anyone would call the soft, nurturing, warm and fuzzy type. I think I might swim away, too.

And the (mostly) gents they ended up with? Mymymy.

The Big Bad bat? Yikes! Would anyone really want to face that over the breakfast table???

Flashguy? Okay, I guess, if you can get him to stand still for a millisecond.

Wonder Woman? Hubba-hubba-hubba and yowza! Maybe ‘comes on a bit strong but then there are those who like a real Rosie the Riveter type, but I know she’d scare me to death!

And last but hardly least, King Aquadude. Cold fish? Y’think? ‘Nuff said.

Now, we know this doesn’t take into account other folks who are probably in these kids lives and we hope—we really do—that the others are as warm and fabulous-o as anyone could hope for. But when you add up all these kids are expected to do; school (they do go to school don’t they?), chores like taking out the garbage and staying up on every weirdo crime crazy you can think of, well—goodness, when do these sweethearts have time to draw breath?

But seriously, and we mean this seriously; who exactly is watching over these exceptional kids? Who’s making sure they get their milk and cookies at night and who’s making sue that their too many broken bones and sprains are taken care of when needed?

Has anyone ever set up any kind of standards for these youngsters? Are there any age limits? Didn’t Robbiebabybird first appear when he was like maybe none or ten years old?

Nuts?

We think so and we’ve asked these questions before but we’re still waiting for answers from someone in the Batknow.

Anyone out there?’

Robin put the cell phone back in his pocket; he’d just spent a good ten minutes talking with Selina. She was miffed, angry, pissed and really cheesed off by the way things were going and it wasn’t—thank God—about anything he’d done. Actually he hadn’t done much of the talking; his ear was still ringing by the volume of her rant. Venting, that’s what it was.

“She all right?”

“Thank God she’s on the other side of the Atlantic.”

Bruce smiled; he was used to her but she never was easy to get along with, at least not for long. “Everything on track?”

“So far, should be fine.”

Bruce was still in the dark about what Dick had up his sleeve, was curious and knew better than to ask. “’Need any help with anything?”

“No, should be good, thanks. Oh—you mind if I use the extra line to set up a conference call in about an hour?”

Odd. “No problem; you want any help with that?”

“No, I’m good.”

Oh for the love of…Bruce stopped himself, Dick was playing with him, toying and he wondered if that was something he’d picked up from hanging around Selina; not that he was about to ask. “Good, then I’ll leave you to it.”

 

* * *
 

“Okay, everybody on, you can all hear me?” Rob got the verbal nods. “Good, we’re all set—Selina’s coming into Gotham tonight, Harvey was in place and Jonathan was on a temporary supervised (very closely supervised) leave from Arkham and set to play his part. Any questions?”

“Yes, I was wondering when we get the paperwork you promised.”

“As soon as we’re done and we’re all sure there are no problems.”

“I think we all understand the rules puurrfectly, but aside from your very sweet word, what guarantee do we have you’re not planning on toying with us? I’m not on the plane yet, you know.”

Robin used his batvoice, learned at the cape of the master, himself. “You have my word and you have the promise of the Chief Appeals judge for the state of New York, anything else?”

“No, no, that should do—just so long as you understand that if you double-cross us we won’t forget it.”

Robin rolled his eyes. Heavy-handed, much? “You play square with me, I’ll play square with you. We’re all getting what we want out of this…”

“Assuming your plan works, that is.” Harvey always was one to see both side of things.

“It will. We all get what we want and you all get either reductions of your existing sentences or partial pardons.”

Jonathan Crane joined in; “And you get a great big feather in you hat, right?”

Idiot. “I get to have one of the worst criminals on the planet off the streets for a long time, that’s what I get out of this.”

“And you may just earn yourself a chance for some Tomcatting, if you play your catnip right, sweetie.” She was laughing; not that he minded being teased so long as that was all it was. She just really wasn’t his type, what with being a major wanted fugitive and all of that.

But, “I’ll hold you to it, Selina. No other questions? Good. It’s all set for ten o’clock. You all know where.”

‘Am I the only one who read those leaked medical records that are supposed to be from my favorite Babybat? Made me shudder and that’s a fact.

I’ve asked before and I’ll ask again—who is watching these babies?

And another thing—now we all know that education is a fabulouso thing to have so can anyone explain to me why out Brightbabyboy is thinking about skipping college? Does anyone really think he’s not too, too smart to miss out on a high education?

You get your hind tail feathers back to studying those schoolbooks, youngster! We want what’s best for you, young man and that’s a fact.

You know—or you certainly should!—that you’ll never get a good job without a college degree.

My good God—what am I saying? This is our baby Robinbird we’re talking about here. This boy could make a too good living just standing on a corner in Gotham and letting people bask in the sunshine of his gorgeous smile and that’s no lie…and I mean even with his clothes on!

Sweetbabybird—you do whatever makes you happy and you can tell the Batguy for me that you gotta do what you gotta do!’

“Dick, will you be back in time for patrol tonight?”

He paused while pulling on his gloves. “I doubt it, you may as well start without me.”

“…Would you like some help?”

“Thanks, but I should be okay.” He didn’t tell Bruce that he had Clark on call just in case the Titans got into a bad situation, but he really didn’t think it would be necessary.

“Well, you have your communicator is you change your mind.”

Dick nodded; knowing Bruce was dying to ask and restraining himself. He was torn between thinking that he’d somehow managed to prove himself as ready to fly on his own and wondering if he was being given enough rope to hang himself. Either way, it was probably going down tonight.

‘And so we were just sitting watching Gone With the Wind on our TV when we heard something which almost broke our heart.

It seems that our favoritest Babybat is a teenaged father—shades of Jamie Lynn! Honest Injun and we aren’t kidding cause we heard it from our best singing bird and this is the source of all sources.

It seems he was a little careless about a year and a half ago and you know what that leads to, don’t you?

Furthermore, we heard that the Big Bad Bat was so peeved at his protégé that he’s had the lad on the tightest lease you ever heard of (poor darlin’ but one oops per customer, if you know what we mean). We hear he’s even prevented from hanging out with his best buds, the Teen Titans. Sure, he’s been seen with them, but never for long and never too often the last year or so.

We guess that the pattern of little bat wings is taking up lots of his time and may also explain why he’s not all that in a hurry to attend the Ivy Covered Walls of college quite yet.

So now we’re asking when the wedding is—or was it already?’

Roy looked up from the monitor. “Hey Robbie—you keeping secrets from your old friends now?”

“Hmm?” Dick was distracted, refilling his utility belt for the evening’s outing.

“According to this you have a kid and might be married. This true or is it bullshit?”

He walked the three steps over to the computer desk and looked over Speedy’s shoulder, read, raised an eyebrow and made sure he had the Bat Oxygen Mask with a full charge. “Everyone ready?”

“Dick?” The other Titans exchanged looks.

“C’mon, let’s go.”


TBC

 

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